Warmth
by PoisonPen7
Summary: Sequel to Four Walls - Dealing with the aftermath of Bella's violent disappearance, Alice tries to navigate through the dark without the light of her mate. Bella struggles to hold onto her humanity while in captivation and makes tough decisions. Everyone else fights the chaos around them. Bella/Alice pairing. M for language, violence, and adult situations.
1. While You Were Dead

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Summary: Sequel to _Four Walls_. Dealing with the aftermath of Bella's violent disappearance, Alice tries to navigate through the dark without the light of her mate. Bella struggles to hold onto her humanity while in captivation and makes tough decisions. Everyone else fights to distract themselves on what goes on in the chaos around them with their continued blame they place on their own shoulders. Bella/Alice pairing. M for language, violence, and adult situations.

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 **Author's Notes:**

 **This is the sequel to** _ **Four Walls**_ **, so if you haven't read it you will be very confused. Just go on and click my profile to see it. For those returning, first of all thank you. I love each and every one of you. As usual, I'll try to update as often as I possibly can. I am currently searching for a job as my full-time job so I have lots of time to write when I'm not applying. Once again, I don't have a beta or anything so please mind my mistakes. I try to get these chapters out as soon as I write em.**

 **This story will be quite a bit darker, obviously from where we left off. I'll be switching up the point of views a bit, but I'll try to keep it pretty low to avoid confusion. Also, this isn't a song fic but it is named after Bastille's (surprise surprise) song** _ **Warmth**_ **.**

 **Please please please continue to review, they help me immensely. So, without further ado, I give you** _ **Warmth**_ **. Happy reading!**

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 _Hold me in this wild, wild, world  
'Cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be  
And in your heat I feel how cold it can get  
Now draw me close_

* * *

 **Chapter 1:** **While You Were Dead**

 **Liam POV:**

It doesn't matter how many times I die, it will still be the same torture over and over again. You never get used to something like that. The burning and freezing taunt you to your very core, and soon you are left with just your humanity to blame for the pain. But giving into that would leave you with nothing, no hope or happiness. Just a big blank nothing. And I have something to hold on for.

"Liam? Liam can you hear me?" A man's gentle voice was calling me after I had awoken. I knew it meant me no harm, but I wasn't fully recovered yet so I held up my hand for a few moments to regain my composure.

Ok let's think. How did I end up like this? How did I end up dead? We were all watching the news, Bella came in, I asked her if she wanted to stay and watch with us, she said no, and then she went all tense and yelled at us to get down. Oh god what happened?

"Carlisle what happened?"

"There was a bomb planted. It went off and took you out."

"Oh my god Zoey! Where is she? Is she…?" I couldn't bear to finish that sentence. Last time I checked, Zoey was seated right next to me on the couch. If the explosion killed me, then surely….

"I'm fine Liam. I'm right here." Her beautiful voice squeaked out right beside me. I let out a relieved breath and studied her features that I thought I had lost. She looked like hell. There was a large bandage covering most of her abdomen, and she wasn't meeting my eyes. She appeared to have been crying violently for a long period of time. Were those my bloody dog tags clutched in her fist? I brought my hand up to my chest and found mine still in place. Whose are they?

"How are you-how are you alive?" I asked amazed at her lack of fatal injury. She bit her lip, still looking at her feet and not at me.

"B-Bella saved me."

"Oh thank god. Where is she?" I scanned the room where they had put me. It looked like a mini hospital, there were a few other people in the beds around me with various wounds, but no Bella. That's weird. If Zoey still got injured with Bella saving her, she must have taken a hit. Or at least be here when I woke up. I wanted to thank her for saving my mate. Carlisle came over and placed a hand on my shoulder and I glanced back down to the tags in Zoey's.

"Liam, there's something you should know."

* * *

"Do you wanna talk?"

"No." Zoey and I were currently in my room not speaking while I sat seething. I had gone into a rage after Carlisle told me everything and I had even tried to attack him in a blind fury. He had to inject me with a sedative, Zoey was trying to keep me calm now. I already apologized to Carlisle, it wasn't his fault, even though he thinks it is. No. It's only one person's fault. Mine.

I was the one that didn't hear the bomb. I was the one that wasn't paying attention. I was the one that couldn't even protect my own mate, forcing Bella to do my job for me. Why her? Why couldn't they have taken me?

"Where's Alice?"

"In her room." Zoey responded miserably. I got up, debating on whether or not I should go. I'm actually surprised Alice hasn't burst through my door already trying to kill me. I definitely deserve it. "She shouldn't be alone Liam." Zoey whispered, reading my unsure body movements.

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"No. I'm afraid she'll hate me."

"Zoey that's ridiculous. Why would she hate you?" Suddenly she started to cry again, sobbing herself into a ball.

"Because it's my fault! I'm the one that needed saving! She got injured because of me! And she knew! She knew exactly what would happen if she went to help me. But she was so worried about me that she still went anyways."

"And that's on me. Not you. I can promise you that." I made up my mind and left to go find Alice. My feet carried me slowly, as if they were afraid of lay ahead. The normally loud and cheerful energy that ran through the complex had completely vanished. It was the atmosphere of a funeral home now. Finally reaching Bella and Alice's door, I found I was not alone. Rosalie was sitting just outside, crying silently.

"She doesn't want to see anyone."

"I figured. But she shouldn't be alone." Rosalie nodded at my words and I squatted down to her level. "How are you?"

"How do you think? One of my best friends is gone, in the hands of sadistic maniacs, and it just so happens to be my sister's wife."

"Right. Sorry. I didn't know what else to ask really." I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze before standing upright again. "We'll get her back before you know it. I promise you that. I don't care if I have to bring her back myself, she's coming home." And with that, I pulled out my spare key and opened up my best friend's room.

Alice was curled up in a trembling ball on the bed, it was the most heart breaking thing I've ever seen. She had one of Bella's shirts in her arms and her eyes closed, maybe hoping Bella would appear next time she opened them.

"Please go away."

"I won't talk Alice I swear. I just know you shouldn't be alone." I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked down and away, trying to give her a little privacy.

"Oh yeah. How do you know that?"

"Because I don't want to be." A couple tears fell from my cheeks and I turned to face Alice. "I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to apologize. It should have been me, not her." I tensed, waiting for her to strangle me or something, but she surprised me with a desperate hug. Alice clung to my chest and sobbed into it. I finally broke down and cried as I held her, hoping that somehow I was trapped in the worst nightmare of my life.

"Don't say that Liam. I don't blame you at all, I hope you know that." I sighed in relief against her hair. "I just miss her so much. And I don't want her to be in pain, and I know she is. That's the worst part." She cried some more, shaking violently with me. "Thank you Liam. Thank you for keeping me company. You were right."

We sat there in our embrace for hours. Both of us didn't want to leave and have another day start. But eventually we needed to part, if I was going to bring Bella home I'd better start working with the search team. Alice thanked me once again and I kissed the top of her head before leaving. This would be her hardest day. Being without her mate would make her lost and confused along with the continuing ache of knowing who Bella was with. But I would help, I would bring her back for the both of us.

* * *

 **Bella POV:**

"Alright get up. You've had enough time being a useless body." I felt a kick at my leg as I tried to remember where I was. Oh fuck, that's right. I moaned and sat up to face my dear friend Felix who had a huge smile on his face. "It's been some time. How's your vacation been?"

"Go fuck yourself."

"Ah. A pain in the ass as usual. Aro and Caius will be most pleased." I lay my head back down, I was obviously in a moving vessel of some sort. Most likely a truck by the feel. My shirt was still caked in blood and I felt naked without the chain around my neck. Felix continued his verbal taunting all the way until we reached what appeared to be our final destination. Although I couldn't tell for sure because a bag was shoved onto my head the second we stopped.

I was led around for a while. Up and down, left and right, twisted around several times and put into many different transports. Finally they stopped me in a cold and damp feeling room, probably a cave or something. Demetri ripped the bag off my head and kicked my knees out from under me so I was kneeling in front of Aro.

"My darling! My precious _173952_! How we've missed you so."

"Wish I could say the same, but I'm afraid I just can't." I said confidently, that was the way to get underneath Aro's skin. Always act as though you are unperturbed by everything around you.

"Oh don't be so smug my dear. I see that little ring on your finger. You're not as unbreakable as you like to appear." I immediately tensed and growled at him, clenching my fist to prevent him from taking my wedding band. Demetri and Felix both tightened their grips on my shoulders, fearing I was about to attack. "Don't worry love. I'll let you keep the ring. It'll give you something to remind you of what you're missing." He laughed at my reaction and sauntered over to where I knelt. "But I will be finding out who has said matching ring. You can bet your life on that." Aro smiled his most sinister smile and I growled even louder as he caressed my cheek. I flinched away, still beyond pissed.

"Like hell you are. You'll be dead long before then." My careless façade had fallen after the mention of harming my mate. But Aro just continued to grin at my threat.

"Whatever you say my dear. Why don't you show her to her new room Felix? I'm sure you'll love it. I had the chains picked out just for you." I was pulled up forcefully and dragged backwards down a hall. "Oh and _173952_ , they'll be no early check out this time. Have a lovely evening!" He waved joyously at me as I was continuously towed by the neck.

But I held his eye contact right back. I would be out of here fast this time. I had a promise to keep.


	2. Blame

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

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 **A/N:  
**

 ** _I_ _talics_ = Dream/Nightmares, day dreaming, or memories. You'll be able to tell**

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 _Fall upon your knees, sing:_

 _"This is my body and soul here"_

 _Crawl and beg and plead, sing:_

 _"You've got the power and control here_

 _Don't pin it all on me_

 _Don't pin it all on me!"_

* * *

 **Chapter 2:** **Blame**

 **Alice POV:**

 _"Hey sleepy head." Bella groaned lazily as I nuzzled deep into her neck. "It's time to get up."_

 _"But I don't want to go. Can't we just stay in bed all day?"_

 _"Hmmmm… While tempting, I don't think Carlisle would write a note to excuse his daughter from school so she could have sex all day instead." I giggled out and Bella grunted, rolling away from me. "Come on my sleepy wolf. You know I'll get you up one way or another…" I scooted back over and spooned her from behind, blowing lightly on her ear. It only took a few minutes of my torture for her to give up._

 _"Alright fine! You are so damn lucky I love you." I laughed and gave her a kiss as she got up to get ready._

 _"Oh I know I am."_

* * *

"Alice? Can I come in?" A knock on my door jolted me from my day dream. I was still curled up on the bed, clutching one of Bella's shirts that was positively coated in her scent. "Alice?" The voice called again and I recognized it as Zoey's.

"You can come in." I sat up and tried to straighten myself up, but it was no use. Not only was I too far gone for repair, but I really didn't care anymore.

"Hey." Zoey said gently as she walked in and placed herself on the bed with me.

"Any news?"

"No. Liam said they're contacting all their vampire leads to see if someone knows anything. Carlisle is calling a few of his old friends as well." I nodded in disappointment. "Um I actually came here to give you something." She pulled Bella's dog tags out of her hand and went to give them to me.

"Oh no Zoey. She gave those to you."

"Yes but I know she wanted me to give them to you. Alice please?" She placed them in my hand as I looked away, I couldn't bear to see. I knew if I looked down it would seem final somehow. Zoey sensed my turmoil and wrapped me in a warm hug. "I'm so sorry." I didn't respond, I was incapable at the moment. Finally giving up, I glanced down to my hand holding the tags still covered in Bella's dried blood. So much for not crying today.

"Don't you ever be sorry Zoey. Bella did what she had to do knowing what it would possibly lead to. But that's Bella, she loves you so much and would do it all over again." I held her as we continued to cry, still staring at my mate's name etched in the metal. Of course she knew what would happen. And of course she still went anyways, that was what she did.

"She looked at you right before she left. I think she was promising you she would come back as well."

"She will. I have no doubt in my mind that Bella will be back with us. Our little wolf is a hard headed woman." We both let out watery laughs. Yes she was my stubborn wife, and the thing she was most determined about was me. No I wasn't worried.

A while later Colt came quietly into my room with a somber expression on his face. Liam was trailing him close behind and Zoey got up to greet him silently.

"Alice would you mind coming with us? There's something you should see." I was confused but followed him willingly. I didn't have the effort to refuse or ask what it was about. He led us back into the control room that I was in ages ago. Instead of the usual groups of tables handling different jobs, there was one giant cluster gathered around a map of the globe. They were all taking notes and had headsets on talking to other lines. It made me feel reassured that all these resources were being used to find my Bella.

"Is this what I need to see?"

"No." Colt continued to move us towards his desk where Carlisle was already seated. "We've recovered the security footage from the hallway near Carlisle's office. I thought it would be best to ask if you wanted to watch it with us first." I hesitated after the initial shock of his words. Did I want to see this? It would most likely hurt me in some way, but it was also the last video we had of Bella.

"Yes. I do." He nodded and pulled out his chair for me as the others grabbed spare ones. I trembled nervously, waiting for the video feed to start.

It was silent footage, I watched on edge at the currently empty hallway. The walls shook from where I'm sure the bomb went off and several people went through with guns to help combat the breach. For most of the time, the fighting seemed to be far down the hall and away from where we all were. Carlisle ran through at one point, I'm sure to aid a yelling Bella. I tensed even further in my seat, the worst would be coming soon. Eventually Bella came running through and I let out an involuntary gasp. Liam leaned over and held my hand for support.

She was running frantically for Carlisle's office, and once she got there the door wouldn't budge. She didn't have a key. I heard Carlisle mutter a small _fuck_ as his realization. But Bella just continued on, smashing his office window with her elbow to gain entry. Quick on her feet, even with a nasty injury. She entered his office and exited not much later with his bag in her hand.

It was strange, I knew the outcome but still wanted to scream at her to run faster. She looked down at one end of the hall and then the other, running towards her goal with a hand clutching her bleeding side. She was obviously in extreme pain, I could see all the blood on her clothes, some dripping down to the floor. Abruptly, a few masked individuals broke through the lines and started firing shots at my mate.

Bella was quick, she dodged several of the raining bullets. But finally one succeeded in hitting her left leg, bringing her to the ground. The masked men were closing in slowly on their prey, one even took off his cover cockily. It was Felix. I growled angrily when he shot Bella's other leg just for fun. Maybe I shouldn't have watched this.

Demetri took off his mask now and was giving orders to the others, most likely for them to get a hold of Bella. But my little wolf had other ideas. She grabbed the first one who approached her and removed his head. That's my girl. She continued to fight hard until Felix finally got a hold of her neck. Bella threw Carlisle's bag behind her with all the strength she had left over. Felix said something to her that we couldn't hear, and then he snapped her neck.

I sat there in silence with everyone as we watched them drag her lifeless body away. Part of me was upset that I just witnessed all that, but the other part was happy. Bella fought to the very end, and that made me proud. She even thought to throw the bag closer to Carlisle, knowing she wouldn't make it there.

"Thank you for letting me watch that." I whispered quietly and got up to leave the room. I wanted some alone time again. It was already hell enough to go through the day's motions without Bella, but impossible to do so without her scent to calm me every once in a while.

I laid back down on our bed and snuggled her shirt, crying softly into it. Another knock went through my door and Rosalie let herself in. She sat down and pulled me into her lap letting me cry on her. She ran her fingers through my hair in a comforting manner, I even felt her shudder a few sobs.

"I'm so sorry Alice. I should have heard that bomb."

"Rose stop." I sat up suddenly annoyed. "Why is everyone blaming themselves? There was an entire room full of people with supernatural hearing in there, and only one person heard it. If there's one thing I've learned from Bella, it is that the only people at fault here are the Volturi. So can you please tell everyone that? I'm tired of hearing I'm sorry from people who shouldn't be feeling guilty." Rosalie stayed silent while I lectured, but nodded after I was done.

"You're right. Thank you. Bella would be yelling at us wouldn't she?" She said trying to lighten the mood slightly. I let out a weak laugh, but positioned myself back in her lap and continued my weeping. "Yeah I know. Just let it out. It'll make you feel better. A little I guess." She let me cry to my heart's content, until finally I was sick of it.

"Thanks Rose." I got up from her lap and fixed her outfit that I ruined. "Is Jasper back yet?" My poor brother had to leave with all the pain going on around him. I think he went on an extended hunting trip alone.

"No. Edward thinks it might be a few more days until he returns."

"Is Emmett ok this time?" I still remember his reaction to finding out about Bella's rape. He had gone ballistic and tried to find and murder the Volturi with Jasper.

"He's contained if that's what you're asking. But no, I don't think anyone is ok." Right, obviously. Rosalie rubbed my shoulder a bit, but I wanted my alone time again.

"Rose would you mind? I just need some space right now."

"Of course." She got up and gave me one last hug before leaving me with my thoughts.

I was really craving Bella right now. She always knew how to make me feel better. The worst part was what I knew. I knew what she was going through right now and it made me nauseous. Of course if Bella were here, she'd tell me it wasn't that bad and it was nothing she couldn't handle. Her gentle voice would soothe me, and her nimble fingers would caress my cheek. I could practically feel and see her now. Her charming smile that made me feel as though there wasn't anything really that evil in the world. But she was wrong. There was something that horrible, and they were the ones that made her.

 _"Ok then. Generally speaking, why would you have not known what to do if I had been killed?"_

That kiss that turned my skin into fire and every nerve alight. I imagined her lips were still on mine just like that. Her breath breezing across my face as she held me in our embrace.

 _"That's why."_

I regrettably pulled out of my small day dream and clutched onto her shirt and necklace tighter, whispering shaky words into the silence of the night.

"Please come back to me. I need you. Now more than ever. Please Bella. I love you. Always."

* * *

 **A/N: Side note- I just watched Avengers Infinity War and it ripped out half my fucking heart. I feel a little personally victimized by that movie. But I have to say, it was absolutely amazing. So if you haven't seen it please do. As always, thank you for reading!**


	3. Torn Apart

_And it hurts like hell  
To be torn apart  
And it hurts like hell  
To be thrown around_

 _We were born to be together_  
 _Torn apart_  
 _Torn apart_  
 _We were born to be together_  
 _Torn apart_  
 _Torn apart_

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 **Chapter 3:** **Torn Apart**

 **Bella POV:**

 _"So what's it like being a wolf?"_

 _"Um, I don't know I guess. Well it's fun with the whole freedom of it all, but a little scary with the inner animal stuff. Sometimes I'm worried I might lose control or something."_

* * *

Freedom was far from where I was right now. I was fading in and out during the time they left me alone, which was surprisingly a lot. They haven't fed me in any sort of way, not even blood. It's making me feel a bit uneasy of their intentions. But without any form of sustenance, I really don't have the energy to critically think about it.

My days were spent worrying about what I had left back home, three people in particular. My main concern was Zoey. Did she make it through alright? Is she alive? Then piggybacking off of that, if she wasn't, was Liam ok? I know I would never recover if I lost my mate. Would he turn off his humanity? I would. If anything were to happen to Alice, I wouldn't want to care anymore.

 _Alice_. The person I thought of the most. I wish I had just a few moments with her before I left. But no, she was unconscious when I had to leave her. Did she hate me? Could she ever forgive me for what I did? I hope so. God I miss her. She's the only thing getting me through this.

"Alright _173952_ , how is our little trouble maker today?" I strained to look up at Felix entering my cell. He smiled at my obviously decaying body and motioned for someone else to come in. That someone else would be Aro.

"There's my girl!" He exclaimed happily and sat down next to me. "I'm sure by now you're wondering what our plan is here. Well it's quite simple really. That pesky little dog of yours refuses to make you the soulless machine we want. You are useless in other words. So, to solve our dilemma, we're going to starve that animal out of you. Soon you will die of starvation, and then our process will be on the repeat. Eventually the process will become faster and faster, because your body can't recover over and over again so many times, and one of two things will happen. Either that annoying wolf of yours will give up and give us the real monster, or you'll die. Both outcomes are desired." I sat there in silence, disgusted by the plan. How could someone think of something this twisted? Aro stood up, an evil grin plastered on his face. "And now that you have no energy to fight back, I can do this." He bent down and grabbed my ring finger. I snapped.

"NO!" I felt my other arm break with the force of me trying to fight Aro off. I could not let him get my ring. Not only was it greatly sentimental, but it had Alice's name etched into it. He would know how to get to me. He would go after her. Aro was obviously surprised with the amount of fight I had left in me, and called Felix over to help with the struggle. Eventually they won, Aro took the ring away from me as Felix held his grip on my neck.

"I'm afraid this ring is just giving you too much hope. And we won't have any of that in here." Destroy it. Please destroy it. I rather have him turn it into dust in front of me, than to find out it's Alice he wants. "Felix, go get Caius to take care of this animal. I'll check on you later my dear." He turned and walked away with my ring still intact in his hand. Fuck! I honestly didn't care about Caius coming in now, not when the fate of my mate was literally in Aro's hands.

"Back already _173952_? When will we learn?"

* * *

 _"Mmmmm… We should go on vacation more often." Alice snuggled further into my chest and it rumbled happily at the closeness. The calming sound of waves outside was lulling me into a peaceful state. "I don't think I've ever seen you this relaxed before."_

 _"That would be from you, not the vacation." She giggled and played with the chain on my neck._

 _"You are so damn corny around me." We laid there listening to the ocean until my stomach interrupted the tranquility. Alice chuckled and got up from her position on me. "Come on. I'll make you some lunch."_

I groaned in annoyance when someone slammed a door down the hall, waking me up from my wonderful dream. Damn. I was so hungry. Even Alice's first attempts at cooking sounded good right now.

I've been here for at least a couple weeks now. I've died several times, and Aro was right, it did get faster and worse every time. My body wasn't healing as it normally did, I felt more human than I ever have. My senses were weakening a great deal with every second. My dreams and nightmares were slowly meshing into real life, and hallucinations were just a normal part of my day.

Aro hasn't said anything about finding Alice's name on my ring yet, so I'm hoping he threw it away somewhere without looking too hard. But I still missed it being on my finger. I felt like I was doing something wrong with it being gone. The world wasn't fair. We didn't even have a month together married before we were torn apart. It was just plain cruel.

Speaking of cruel things, Aro decided to come in and check on me again. He was doing this with more frequency lately. Probably waiting for a sign that my mind or body was finally giving up. Well my body definitely was. But my mind was still kicking hard, or at least trying to.

"Why don't you just give up already _173952_? It will make everyone's lives so much easier."

"No thanks." I croaked out extremely weakly. He let out an annoyed puff of air and rolled his eyes.

"Of course. What else did I expect from you?" He knelt down to tighten my chains and then left me to decay in my rotting cell. Once he was gone, my usual hallucination of Alice rejoined my presence. Never saying anything, just keeping me company.

"I don't know how much longer I can take baby. I'm trying for you, but it's getting tougher every day. I need you Al."

 **Liam POV:**

"Jesus I can't do this anymore! How the fuck did Bella do all this shit?" I yelled at Colt, completely frustrated. Now that Bella was gone, I was in charge of all the jobs she used to do. It was one thing to get a few of them when she left for vacation, but another to get them semi permanently. I'm actually surprised I haven't torn out half my hair at this point.

"Just take a deep breath Liam. Stay calm. Being a leader doesn't come easy." I sighed and ran my hands over my face again. God I needed Bella. "Look, the sooner we find her the better."

"What are we missing? We've checked any suspicious death reports and there are none! Which means either Bella isn't biting, quite literally, or the Volturi have suddenly become experts at hiding bodies. My money is on the former, but I don't know what to do Colt." He sat down as I vented, looking just as rugged as I'm sure I did right now.

"It's been too long. I'm worried about her. I thought we would have gotten her within the first week."

"I know. Me too." I sighed, thinking about my best friend. It had been four weeks, and a horrible four weeks at that. Alice's confident demener had faded within the first week, now she rarely came out of her room and back into reality. I would do the same, but I have a girlfriend who is on the brink of a mental breakdown. Zoey still blames herself for Bella's capture, even though we've all told her it's not her fault. So bringing Bella home was a necessity for many reasons at this point.

"What are you thinking?" I hadn't realized I had been quiet for so long.

"I don't know. I'm frustrated as hell! And I'm sure Bella is. We made a promise to each other that we would always find the other if the worst happened. And here I am, not following through."

"You're doing all you can Liam. We all are. The Volturi must have been perfecting this plan for a while." He gave me a fatherly pat on the shoulder and left my office so I could get back to work. I combed through all my notes again, looking for any clue, anything I may have missed before. All the while I prayed in the back of my mind.

 _"You wouldn't ever turn off your humanity would you?" Bella turned to ask me as we sat at another party. The nomadic life wasn't as satisfying as it sounded._

 _"I don't know. Probably not. Well maybe. If I had lost all hope or something. Or if I was in so much pain that I was worried my mind would never recover if I didn't turn it off. What about you?"_

 _"Same I guess." We sat in silence while people around us continued to drink. "I just hope it never comes to that. Would you promise me something?"_

 _"Shit yeah. Anything."_

 _"Promise me that if I ever turn it off, you'll bring me back. Can you do that for me?" I stared at her, I hadn't seen her face that serious since we were held captive._

 _"Of course Bella. As long as you promise the same for me?"_

 _"Promise."_

I prayed Bella wasn't tempted to turn off her humanity right now. The lack of a large amount of deaths told me she was still holding strong right now. But how much longer could that last? She always tries so hard for everyone else, she doesn't think about herself and the effect things have on her. That's how she got in this situation in the first place. Of course she was saving my mate, so I had no room to complain or get mad at her for it.

I worried about Alice's sanity too. All she did was sit in her fantasy day dreams of Bella all day long. She was also frustrated by her lack of helpfulness. Alice had tried to watch Aro's or Caius' futures, but they were with Bella so it was a failed attempt. She had almost given up, I'm sure of it. And if she was almost done, I feared about Bella's state of mind.

I'd bring her back. Either physically or mentally, whatever she needed. She made a promise, and so did I.

* * *

 **A/N: Huge shout out to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed! I woke up extremely happy this morning from it all. Like I said, this sequel will be much darker than the first one. You got a little taster of it this chapter, but things will pick up soon. Again, thank you all for reading and staying with me! I don't know what I'd do without you :)  
**


	4. All Part of the Plan

**A/N: Oh my. Did I have fun writing this chapter or what. Wish there was an evil grin face you could type in here. But for now I'll just stick with this :)**

* * *

 _I'm the lesser of two evils_

 _Or am I, am I tricking myself nice?_

 _If I'm the lesser of two evils_

 _Who's this man, who's this act I hide behind?_

* * *

 **Chapter 4:** **All Part of the Plan**

 **Alice POV:**

 _"Bella!"_

 _"Huh? What?" She popped her head up from where it was previously resting a few seconds before. This was now the third time she has fallen asleep at her desk this week. I smiled at her innocent confused face and went to pull off a sheet of paper that had stuck to her cheek._

 _"You are working too hard my love." Bella blinked a few times, finally realizing what happened._

 _"I'm sorry baby. How bout I make it up to you this weekend? I'll take you to New York. You can shop all weekend long."_

 _"I don't care what we do Bella. As long as I'm with you, and you're not asleep half the time." I giggled uncontrollably, noticing the ink from the paper had bled onto my poor fiancée's face. She furrowed her eyebrows, wondering what I found so hysterical. "Oh come here." I wiped the ink away with my fingers._

 _"Oh. Thanks. Sorry about that."_

 _"You are too damn adorable sometimes. What am I going to do with you?"_

"Alice are you even listening to me?" Liam's voice brought me back from my carefree memory.

"No." I shrugged truthfully. Once he had told me that there was no good news, I had zoned out like usual.

It has been two and a half months. Seventy days without my mate, my wife, my everything. I prefer not to talk to anyone. If I'm alone, I can visualize that Bella is still with me and not so very far away. I've gone through five of her shirts, smothering each until its scent was lost. Even our room itself is starting to lose that beautiful aroma that tells me I'm home.

"It's not healthy for you to spend so much time alone Alice."

"Yeah, well it's also not healthy to be without my mate. But life isn't fair." I didn't mean to snap at him so harshly, he has been a saint since Bella's capture, and I know it's been extremely difficult on him as well. "I'm sorry Liam." I whispered quietly to try and repair what I had said.

"It's alright. I don't blame you." He ran a distressed hand through his hair, poor guy looks like he hasn't slept in two months. Probably true to be honest. "I just don't think you should be in here with only your thoughts to keep you company. And Rosalie and Carlisle agree with me. So starting today, someone will come in everyday, for maybe an hour or so, just so you're not alone."

"Why?" I wasn't mad, actually I wasn't anything.

"I know what you're doing Alice. You are trying to protect your mind, but really all you're doing is hurting it."

"Well what else am I supposed to do? You have no idea how much this hurts! And I hope you never do!" My sensitive emotions got the better of me again. "What? Do you want me to just move on and hang out with everyone like things are back to normal? Because they're not!" I broke down, crying for the first time in weeks.

"Hey hey no. That's not what I meant. Shit Alice I'm sorry." He wrapped me into a hug and held me as I sobbed. "I miss her too. So fucking much. But we need to keep it together. We need to stay strong, so when we do get her back, she has something sturdy to lean on." He rubbed my back until my crying had subsided, and then pulled my chin up with his fingers. "So do you think you can do that? For Bella?"

"Yes. Of course. Thank you Liam."

"It's no problem Alice. You're family." He kissed the top of my head like usual before standing up. "I'm going to send Zoey in. She's been missing you like crazy. And I think she needs the company too."

"Sounds good." I went to change quickly, I had been sitting in this outfit for probably a week now. But my not caring is over. Liam was right, I do need to be strong. Without Bella here as my rock, I have to be my own. And when she comes back, I'll be hers.

* * *

 **Bella POV:**

 _"Bellaaaaaa. What are you doing all the way out here?" Alice asked as she made her way slowly over towards me. I had veered away from her during a run, I knew she would follow. She sat down next to me at our spot next to the creek._

 _"That wolf mind of yours is so hard to read sometimes." A laugh rumbled in my chest and I placed my head in her lap, hoping she'd scratch my ears. "Oh alright." I purred loudly when she did. This was heaven I'm sure of it. "Hmmmmm. You're so soft." Just then, the sun decided to break through the thick cloud and tree cover, lighting up my pixie._

 _Laying there in Alice's lap, watching her skin dazzle like diamonds, her scratching my head, it was all so perfect. It's how I wanted the rest of my life to be. With her._

* * *

"Ugh. Alice." I croaked to my empty cell. How long have I been in here? A month? A year? Ten years? I honestly have no clue. Time has seemed to cease in here.

I'm on a full time IV drip of venom. Which as you can imagine, is just plain wonderful. And every time I build a slight tolerance to it, they up the intake. So yeah, I could have been a century in here and I would have no idea.

I was sitting, chained against the wall, shivering. I hadn't felt cold since I was human. But here I was, teeth chattering and all. My body couldn't produce its normal heat or healing like usual. Hell, I think I might even be getting a head cold.

"Wakey wakey _173952_. You are being much too quiet for Aro's liking. He has a surprise for you later today. Only if you're a good little girl." My best friend Felix came in to up my dose once more. I didn't even have the energy to hit him back with a snarky comment.

He left me alone again, alone with my memories and nightmares. The truth was, I was hiding a question in the back of my mind. One I refused to ask myself. Well, out loud at least.

Why was I here for so long? Where were my rescuers? Liam? Alice? Emmett or Jasper? Fuck, anyone? Did they expect me to escape again? On my own? Were they even trying to find me? Jesus Bella, of course they are. Stop.

But why haven't I heard anything? Have the Volturi gone after them? No. If they did, they surely would have told me. God I need to stop thinking. It's making me go paranoid. Crazy with hate, annoyance, betrayal, and fear.

"Oh my! Do I have a present for you!" Aro came in a while later, his most evil grin in place. Uh oh. That can't be good. "Well? Aren't you curious?" I rolled my head to the side to look at him properly. Yes, he did appear to be in quite a sinister mood.

"What else do you want from me?" My words came out a lot more pathetic than I thought they would. Which in turn made Aro happier that his plan was working.

"My dear sweet _173952_. I want your soul of course. Your humanity. The thing that is holding you back from being my perfect child."

"I will _never_ be yours."

"Oh I wouldn't speak so soon if I were you. See, I know something that you don't know." He sat down next to me, grinning ear to ear. "Now, did you really think I wouldn't take a closer look at that little ring of yours?" That got my attention. My face paled completely. "What was it again? Oh yes, _Forever Yours, Alice_. Ironic really." My body shook with anger and terror. What did he do? "Now, with no last name, I had a problem on my hands. But I started thinking, what were the odds that this Alice on your ring, in your pathetic heart, was the very same future seer that I sought after for so long? Well it was all so delicious. It was much too easy to get that sad little creature. She was so blinded by her pain for you."

"WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?" The monster within me was clawing at its cage to get out, just so it could rip apart the man before me. Not Alice. Please not Alice.

"Relax my child. I haven't done anything to her. Not yet at least. I thought it would be more fun for you to watch." I pulled on my chains hard, tugging with all my might. Which wasn't that much anymore. Aro leaned over and injected an extra syringe worth of venom in me.

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare touch her!" I felt my muscles weaken further, and I involuntarily slumped against the wall. My vision was getting worse, and the more I fought, the worse I felt. There was definitely something else laced in that venom.

"You need to stop struggling so much. Felix! Bring in our lovely guest please?" The royal servant did as he was told, and my body was screaming for me to do something. Anything but sit there.

There she was. The woman who haunted my dreams. She didn't smell the same, I must have forgotten her scent. She looked terrified. I wanted to comfort her, tell her it would be ok. But I knew it wouldn't.

"Alice. Alice baby I'm sorry. Don't hurt her. Please? I'll do anything. I'll be your slave. I'll be the mindless soldier you want. Anything you want, I'll do it. Just please let her go." I wasn't above begging, not when it came to her.

"So quick to give up _173952_? After all this time? This one girl, does this to you? Now that's just pitiful."

"Please. Please." I was starting to black out. Alice was looking at me terrified. Why wasn't she saying anything? What did he do to her?

"It's too late for begging darling. I'm afraid this has to be done." He stood up, slowly approaching my mate. No no no no no.

"Please. Don't do this to her. She's innocent. Hurt me. Hurt me instead." Felix pinned her arms and shoved her to her knees.

"Don't you see? I am hurting you." Aro said mirthfully, before placing his hands on either side of her head.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed right as he ripped her head from her body. Felix immediately lit it aflame. I didn't even get to say goodbye. All I did was watch, watch as my soulmate was erased from the earth.

"Sorry sweetheart. It's all part of the plan." Aro muttered under his breath while leaving with Felix. But I didn't hear. My heart was beating in my ears. I was filled with an all-consuming rage.

She's dead. She's dead because of you.

Turn it off. Turn it off and you won't feel this way anymore. _No. It's not what Alice would have wanted._ That's nice. But she's dead. What do you have to live for? _Vengeance._ Oh, but you can do that when you're a vampire Bella. A full, blood fed vampire. Just turn it off.

I battled against myself for what felt like hours. All the while crying in agony. It was all my fault. I should have never fallen in love. I should have never let anyone in. I knew it would only cause me pain in the end.

"Ok."


	5. Second Hand News

_The animals break out their cages_

 _Now chaos is raining down around us_

 _But here we stand with our arms folded_

 _Do you wanna be free of this?_

* * *

 **Chapter 5:** **Second Hand News**

 **Liam POV:**

"Have we tried the East coast yet? I mean it's something the Volturi would do right? Set up camp right underneath our noses."

"Yes! We've fucking checked everywhere Colt!" I was beyond frustrated at this point. Three months. That's 25 percent of a year. I have failed my best friend, my partner in crime. I'm failing Bella every day.

"You need to stay calm Liam."

"You've been telling me that for three months Colt! How the fuck am I supposed to keep calm when-?" My cell phone ringing interrupted my angry rant. I composed myself slightly, not wanting to scream at the poor soul who decided to call me at that moment. "Jackson speaking."

 _"Well hello 173953."_ My body went rigid at that voice. That cold hearted, sadistic, torturing voice of Aro.

"How did you get this number?" Colt looked up at me concerned, my voice was full of tension.

 _"Really? Of all the questions to ask, you ask that one?"_ I did my best to keep calm as he taunted me, all the while grabbing a pen and paper to write with. **Track who is calling my phone. NOW.** Colt nodded and quietly took the note to the tech team.

"Where is she? Where is Bella?"

 _"Oh she's free. Or she will be very soon."_

"What? What are you talking about?"

 _"Do you want the full rundown of my diabolical plan? Can your brain keep up?"_ I grit my teeth, I refuse to be baited. I need to keep him on the phone as long as I possibly can.

"Yes."

 _"Well where should I start? You see I've been planning for so long, it's hard to remember where to begin."_ Just keep him talking Liam, don't get mad. He knows where Bella is. This is for her, not you. _"I guess it all started when you two geniuses escaped. I was furious at first of course, but then I realized, this was my chance to perfect something. We weren't prepared for the success of your transformations. But now we had time to think. We couldn't control you, that was option one. We couldn't kill you, that was option two. So now we had to find an option three."_

"And what would that be?" His confidence was making me worry.

 _"Chaos. Unleash complete and total chaos."_

"How do you plan on doing that?" Keep him on the line. His cockiness would be his downfall.

 _"Oh I have done it. I just finished my plan a few minutes ago."_ I waited for him to continue, not interrupting this time. _"You see, I knew 173952 would be a hard one to crack. But everyone has a weakness. And hers happened to come in a small package, and it came with the ability to see everyone's future but her own mate's."_ Oh my god. Alice.

I ran down the hall, my phone still pressed firmly against my ear. Please not Alice. I burst into the lounge room and everyone looked up at me with shocked expressions.

"Alice! ALICE?" I scanned the room frantically, my panic rising fast.

"Yes? What's wrong Liam?" That beautiful little vampire was right behind me, perfectly unscathed.

 _"Did you really think I could get past your security a second time? You need to use your head some more."_

"Liam what's wrong? Is everything alright?"

 _"She was strong, cunning. There was no way I could fool her in her right mind. No, of course not. I had to weaken her. And not just physically, mentally too. That was the hard part of my plan. It took weeks, months to shatter her. But I prevailed. I always do."_

"Who are you talking to?" Alice was still asking me questions, concerned about how I'm sure I looked. I ignored her, my stomach was churning at what Aro was saying.

 _"After several drugs, and an abundance of venom, the time had come. I found the lucky candidate. Short, small stature, not a perfect match no. But good enough. Once she was turned, all I had to do was tell her she would be safe if she kept her mouth shut. It was a lie, obviously."_ My heart was plummeting, what did he do? _"I wish you could have seen her face. How she begged, pleaded. But I took it all from her. It was priceless."_ Colt came running in with a sheet of paper. **Two more minutes. Keep talking.**

"Wha-what did you do?" Tears had filled my eyes as I was slowly realizing his meaning. Everyone was watching me, but I didn't care.

 _"I gave her the push she needed. And by now she should be free of her cell, free of all emotions. Such a beautiful thing isn't it? The humanity switch?"_

"Where are you? Where is she?" My body shook, hoping against hope that this was some sick lie or joke he was playing on me.

 _"I couldn't tell you where she is. But I'm sure the body trail will lead you to her. As for me, I'll be sitting back, watching the world burn."_ I heard crunching and the line went dead. He destroyed the phone.

"Fuck." Colt said, listening to his earpiece. "We narrowed it down to somewhere near Russia but the signal was on the move. Who was it?"

The room was staring at me, expecting an answer. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. If what he said as right, then everything had changed.

"Liam? What's wrong?" Alice had come up to me, holding my hand.

"Bella." Her eyes went wide with my one word.

"Bella? Was that Bella on the phone? Did she escape?" A bit of hope crossed her face, something I hadn't seen in months.

"No. No that was Aro." Silence greeted that. "I-I think. Alice I think he made her turn off her humanity."

"What?" She had the same look that I did, terror. "Why-why do you think that?"

"Because he told me she did. He-he said he weakened her. And led her to believe-to believe that…" I couldn't finish, not with Alice right there in front of me.

"To believe what?" I think she knew, but she wanted to hear it.

"To believe that they killed you."

* * *

 **A/N: Short chapter. I know. But I'm writing the next already. It just felt like a good breaking point. Another side note: I don't know if anyone has the app and has updated recently, but the text to speech aspect is super cool. Yeah it definitely needs work, but it's a really cool step in an awesome direction.**


	6. Complications

_I can see a change_

 _I can see a change in you_

 _I see it coursing through your veins_

 _And it is a shame_

 _Oh it is a shame on you_

 _I barely recognize your face_

 _And I don't like what I'm seeing lately_

 _Oh I don't like who I'm seeing lately_

* * *

 **Chapter 6:** **Complications**

 **Alice POV:**

"No. No no no no no. No! NO!" It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. Aro was lying. It's what he does. But the look on Liam's face told me otherwise.

Would Bella really turn off her humanity if she believed I was dead? I thought about what I would do if somehow she was killed, permanently. I wouldn't want to live anymore. I would find a way to kill myself and end my suffering.

But Bella, Bella didn't have that option. So she flipped the switch. I sank to my knees.

"D-do you think he was telling the truth?" Carlisle asked tentatively, glancing worriedly at me.

"Unfortunately, we'll be finding out soon enough." Colt said grimly. I closed my eyes, trying not to think of what Bella may be doing right now. He left the room, probably to start tracking bodies.

"Ok. Ok ok. We need to think on the bright side alright? Bella is free now. We can find her and bring her home." Liam said hopefully for his and my benefit.

"Yeah and how do you expect on doing that?" Jasper interjected, his voice tight. "She's stronger than you Liam. You know that. And now with no emotions and on a vampire diet? There's no way in hell we're getting her back."

"Jasper!"

"I'm sorry Esme. There's no point in sugar coating what we all know to be true."

"Well then what do you want us to do Jasper? Sit and watch? Our Bella is still in there. She's just hurt and in pain. All we need to do is get her to want to feel again." Rosalie offered up to the group, but Jasper shook his head again.

"Once you flip the switch there's no turning back. Trust me. I've dealt with countless humanity free vampires. They're vicious Rosalie. They don't care if you used to be a friend or a foe. They will kill you if you stand in their way."

"God damn it Jasper! This is Bella we're talking about here! Not a fucking nameless soldier! She's our family. We _will_ bring her back." Emmett had grown furious at Jasper's attitude and was beginning to growl in a threatening manner.

"Then what's your plan Emmett? Please tell us. I'm sure we'd all like to know." Jasper and Emmett were advancing on each other, finally Carlisle stepped in.

"EVERYONE CALM DOWN! NOW!" Rosalie pulled Emmett back and whispered soothing words into his ear. Jasper stepped back, reigning in his emotions. "Now I know you've had experience Jasper, but now is not the time for making choices we can't go back on. Emmett is right. Bella is family. I know it won't be easy, but we have to at least try. Try and get her back. All we need is a good plan. So let's all calm down, and think."

"Alice? Are-are you alright?" Liam bent down to check and make sure I wasn't going catatonic. I shook my head no. I didn't want to be around anyone. Especially if they were planning on ways to take down my mate. But I had no will to move. Luckily Liam knew what I needed and cradled me into his arms, carrying me back to my room. "No one's going to hurt her Alice. I'll make sure of that."

"Thank you Liam. For everything."

"Bella is where she is because she protected my mate. She took care of her when I didn't. So of course I will be there for you when she can't." He placed me on the bed gently, handing me one of Bella's shirts before I had the chance to ask. "I promised her that I would bring her back if she turned it off. I already failed on one of my promises to her. I won't fail again." He looked at me with pain and love in his eyes, and then got up to leave. I'm sure to plan with the others.

I rolled over to my side, taking a deep breath and soaking myself in Bella's scent. I worried about her. And not about how many people she would kill or that shit. No. I worried what would happen when we did finally get her emotions back on. I would always forgive her no matter what she did. But could she forgive herself?

* * *

 _"What was it about? Caius?"_

 _"No. No it was just memories. The people I killed." I moved over to place my chest against her back and calm her down from the nightmare. I rested my chin on her shoulder and kissed her neck lightly for support._

 _"That was a long time ago Bella. You can't dwell on it. You can't dwell on any of it."_

 _"But it wasn't. It was still me Alice. And it's still inside of me."_

 _"Yes but you have control. And you have me. I will always be there to make sure you're in control." She relaxed slightly in my arms, her shaking had stopped. "Come on. You need your sleep. Come back to bed love."_

* * *

"You doing ok?" Rosalie was standing in my doorway, watching me with a concerned eye. I sat up, pulling myself out of my memories.

"Yeah. I guess." She came in and sat down next to me, still scrutinizing me for any sign of danger. "Why are you here? Is something wrong?"

"Alice, we got word of something that could possibly be Bella." I waited for her to continue, but she didn't. She was the one waiting for me. Probably concerned I may not want to hear.

"Go on Rose. I know it won't be pretty. Just tell me."

"There are some bodies showing up in Ukraine. All drained of blood, quite violently. The location fits with where Aro was when he called. They're going to keep tracking, hopefully finding a pattern of some sort. Once they find one, Liam's going to get her. Carlisle thinks the best way is to somehow knock her out and keep her sedated until she gets back here. After that, really that's uncharted territory. We'll figure it out from there." I listened quietly, it was as good of a plan as any. I noticed that Rosalie spared me the gory details, and I appreciated that.

"Ok. Ok. Can you tell me when there's more news?"

"Yeah. Sure thing. Um, actually Liam is leaving tonight for Europe so he's closer. I think he wanted to say goodbye to you before he left."

"Oh. Alright can you send him in?"

"Yep." Rosalie stood up and went to go get Liam. He walked in a few moments later, dressed and ready to go.

"Hey kiddo." I giggled at his choice of words.

"Excuse me. I'm the older one here. Shouldn't I be saying that to you?"

"Ah. You're right. It's hard to remember sometimes when you're so damn short." I laughed some more, he always knew how to get me to laugh. But I abruptly stopped when I remembered why he was here. He quit grinning and pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm going to find her Alice. I got this."

"Just stay safe ok? I can't lose you both." We parted and he grabbed his bag that he left at my doorway.

"I will."

 **Liam POV:**

The plane ride over was tense. I hated not being able to call home and check up on Bella's whereabouts. What if she already moved out of Europe? The second we landed I called headquarters for the latest.

"What's the news?"

 _"She's making her way through Europe pretty fast. You were right, it's like she's getting hungrier the more she kills. The bodies are piling up Liam. We have to do something quickly before it gets any worse. This doesn't look good and it opens way for another court case."_

"I'll take care of it Colt. Just keep me updated. Where were the last ones found?"

 _"It looks like near the border between Austria and Italy."_

"Well shit. What are the odds that she's making her way towards Volterra?" Colt let out a dry laugh on the other end.

 _"Probably pretty high. But why would she go there? What would an emotionless vampire want to do there? It was abandoned wasn't it?"_ I sighed, things just got really complicated.

"Not quite. I'll call you when I get there." I hung up before he could ask questions. "Well here we go."

* * *

Thank god for fast cars, I was making up time. I had an advantage in the fact that I didn't have to stop and kill every once in a while. If luck was on my side, I would beat Bella.

Volterra was sunny as usual, but once again the benefits of being a hybrid payed off. I made my way through the city as fast as possible without drawing attention. I didn't smell any fresh spilled blood nearby, which was a good sign. I descended into the tunnels with ears perked. It was dead silent and I couldn't tell if that was a good thing. Finally breaking into the ancient throne room, I found I wasn't alone.

"Ah. Liam! I was wondering when you'd join the party." Bella was lounging carelessly in Aro's old seat, feet up and a lazy smile on her face. Her eyes, of course, were blood red.

"The party?" I wasn't exactly sure of her intentions, but I knew they were not good.

"Come on now. You didn't think I'd kill him without you, did you?" She had a small blood coated blade in her hand and used it to point to the corner behind me.

"Marcus." Bella let out a ruthless laugh at my reaction. "Bella you don't have to do this. You know he's not on their side. Not anymore."

"But he was, wasn't he. And you're going to help me kill him."

"Why would I do that?"

"Simple. Because you want to." I looked to Marcus again, he was quietly sitting where Bella had him chained. "Admit it Liam. There's something inside of you that wants him dead. Give into it."

"So that's your plan? You want me to turn off my humanity with you? You want me to roam the Earth by your side, killing everything in our path?"

"No. I want you to be free like me. You can do what you want after that. That's the beauty of freedom."

"You're not free Bella. You're doing exactly what Aro wanted you to. Bella, Alice is alive. I can call her right now and prove it. Come home. You can see her again, I promise." I thought my words would spark something, anything really. But the name did nothing to her. Like she didn't even recognize it.

"Do you think that matters to me now?"

"You love her Bella. I know you can't remember what that feels like, but you do. Please just come home. You'll see."

"Love. Ain't that a funny little thing? Love makes people so weak. I can see that now. Look at poor Marcus here. Look at what love did to him." She got up from the chair, slowly approaching him and I. "Lost his one true mate. Now he's just a shell of a man. A pathetic excuse for a vampire." I moved to protect him.

"Are those your words, or Aro's? You know for someone who claims to hate him so much, you sound a lot fucking like him." Maybe anger was the way to get her back, if love couldn't do it.

"Aren't you listening? I don't hate anyone anymore. I don't love anyone anymore. I don't feel anything." Her eyes were dilating with the upcoming kill.

"Don't do this Bella. You know what it'll do to me." She pondered me for a minute or so. Wait, was I getting through to her? Was the key to getting her back her care for me? "Please Bells. For me."

"You know what's funny? I think I was waiting for you to rescue me. You just keep failing me don't you? Well, you're useless." Before I even realized what she meant, she was in front of me, eyes black for the kill of me. At least it was a quick neck snap.

* * *

 **A/N: Don't you worry. Explanations will come in due time. Didn't anyone notice the absence of dear Marcus from the stories? ;)**


	7. Curiosity

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. I got wrapped up in a show and then got really depressed about the job hunting shit. But I'm back I swear. Thank you for all the support as usual. It's what made me get my head out of my ass ;)  
**

* * *

 _In my thoughts you're far away_

 _And you are whistling a melody, whistling a melody_

 _Crystallizing clear as day_

 _Oh I can picture you so easily, picture you so easily_

* * *

 **Chapter 7:** **Curiosity**

 **Liam POV:**

I woke up hours later, alone. The charred remains of Marcus were directly behind me. Shit. My phone was buzzing incessantly, I pulled it out to reveal 15 missed calls and 34 text messages. They ranged from slightly concerned, to threatening me if I didn't call back within the hour. I dialed headquarters before they could actually send a search team.

 _"Where the fuck have you been? It's been hours. You said you would call the second you got to Volterra."_ Colt was understandably pissed at my lack of contact.

"I'm sorry. Our plan hit a small snag."

 _"What happened?"_

"Well I thought I was getting through to her. But then she snapped my neck." Colt was silent, probably trying not to hit something in frustration.

 _"Fuck. Fuck! What now? Do you know where she is?"_

"No. It's been hours. She's long gone by now." He sighed on the other end and I bit my lip. "But I think I know her end game."

 _"What the fuck is that supposed to mean Liam? You've been hiding shit and it's pissing me off!"_

"Now who's the one that needs to stay calm?" And I hung up before he could yell at me more.

Yes I know her end game, but that doesn't mean I want to follow her to it. Especially now that she's proven she has no care for me. I rubbed my sore neck and thought about my options. I still had the sedatives Carlisle gave me, and I could probably track her scent if she went by foot, which was most likely considering her new diet.

"God damn it Bella. This is all my fault." I sighed to the empty room, making up my mind.

* * *

Tracking her was a little more difficult than usual. While the base of her scent remained the same, the notes in it had changed. It gave off a territorial and predatory odor, warning other animals to keep their distance.

Around the middle of France I started to catch up. The body trail she left behind was getting fresher and fresher. I was pushing my legs hard to try and keep up. But the pain would all be worth it if I just got her home.

I was close, I could smell it. My direction changed immediately at the sound of a human scream. The middle of a hunt would be the perfect time to surprise attack her. I crept up slowly to the scene, keeping my scent down wind.

There was already one woman dead, probably the scream I heard earlier, and Bella was closing in on a scared man. Most likely an unfortunate couple on an evening stroll.

"S'il vous plaît. S'il vous plait, laissez-moi partir." The man begged, tears streaming down his face. Bella ignored his pleas and snapped his neck, sucking greedily on his pulse joint. Now was my chance.

I jumped and inserted the needle into her skin while she fed. But instead of weakening her as it should have, it just seemed to piss her off. Oh fuck me.

"Didn't I take care of you already? Or do I have to keep snapping your neck until you get the point?" She growled at me angrily, I had interrupted her meal.

"Look Bella I'm sorry ok? But you know I can't stop until I get you back." She pulled the empty tranquilizer from her neck, and I prepared for an extremely hard fight.

She lunged suddenly and I ducked away. What have I gotten myself into? Her incisors were out as she growled even louder, I never thought my best friend could look so terrifying until now. She went for me again, and somehow I dodged that as well. Damn I'm not too bad. But my cockiness was thrown out the window when she swept my legs from right underneath me.

"You thought this shit would stop me?" Bella held me down by my neck and pointed at the empty needle next to us. "I'm stronger than you. And I'm going to make sure you never forget it." Her hand was slowly crushing my windpipe and her eyes were once again gleaming with joy at it. I had to do something fast, if she killed me again there was no way in hell I'd be able to track her. She would make sure of that. I threw my hand up into her chest cavity, grabbing a hold of her heart.

"I'm sorry Bella." I choked out, she let go of my neck in surprise. I didn't want to do what I was about to do, but I couldn't see another way. "I have to do this." I screwed my eyes shut and ripped her heart right out.

 **Alice POV:**

"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him." Colt had been pacing furiously for the past several hours. Everyone had been on edge since Liam landed in Europe, and now even more so with the recent news.

"Hey, we just need to remain calm. We need to have faith in Liam. He knows what he's doing." Carlisle was doing his best to keep everyone sane, but it wasn't helping much. If Bella was so far gone to the point of killing Liam, what could we do? And even if we could do something, how were we supposed to get her now?

"I'm not going to fucking calm down Carlisle! He's keeping secrets again! They both are." He glanced at me before continuing his pacing. Probably because the last time they were keeping a secret, it was about Bella's rape. But this time felt different. It had something to do with what was in Volterra? I didn't have the slightest idea what it was about.

What did that say about me? Did I even know Bella at all? My own wife? She was so good at keeping secrets. Does she have other secrets? How am I this bad at being a mate?

Suddenly Colt's phone rang and we all jumped in surprise. He hesitated picking it up, worried about how this conversation may end this time.

"This is Colt." He placed it on speaker so everyone could hear.

 _"Relax it's me."_ Liam's exhausted voice rang out, I think we all let out a collective breath.

"How can I? Considering last time we spoke."

 _"I have Bella."_ It was amazing how those three words could make me feel a thousand times better. _"I'm bringing her back right now. Can I speak to Carlisle?"_

"Um yes. Go ahead Liam he's right here." Colt nodded to my father for him to speak up.

"Do you need something?"

 _"Yeah. Uh how do you put someone into a medically induced coma? I need to keep Bella down."_ Carlisle furrowed his eyebrows at the question.

"What do you mean? I gave you enough sedatives to keep her down for a week if need be. Why would you need a medically induced coma?"

 _"Uhhhh. Yeah those tranquilizers you gave me didn't work. Like at all."_ Now we were all confused again.

"Wait, if they didn't work, how did you get her?" Carlisle asked what everyone was thinking.

 _"Carlisle, there wasn't another way. She-she was going to kill me again."_ All of my relieved feelings were immediately washed away.

"What do you mean? Did-did you kill her?" I couldn't tell if he was angry or surprised. Maybe both.

 _"I knew if she killed me she wouldn't let me find her again. She would do anything to shake me trailing her. I didn't have any other choice. She was dangerous. Look, I'm sorry."_

"You killed her?" Rosalie jumped up and went over to the phone screaming. "You promised you wouldn't hurt her!"

 _"Rose I didn't have another choice!"_

"There's always another choice! You-" I placed my hand on her to calm her down.

"Hey. It's ok." I whispered quietly for everyone. "I understand Liam. I know you did what was right. Thank you." I walked off without saying anything else. It was true, I wasn't angry at him at all. I know he would never hurt her unless it was the absolute only option. Her pain was his pain as well. And the others would never understand that like we did. So they would blame him for doing something that I'm sure was one of the hardest things he's ever done.

I went back to my room to take a breather before Bella came. I don't know what to expect, so I'm assuming the worst. I've seen a lot of human eating vampires in my long life, but I've never seen one without humanity. Jasper used to tell me about them before all this. His stories had scared me, even then. And now, they terrified me even more.

How could I look at her, and know everything I knew was not in her? How could I look into the eyes of my wife, and see her without a soul? I love her so much. And I know she loves me. So I don't want to see what it looks like to not have her love me.

* * *

"Alice. They're back." Esme came into my room a while later, a sad smile playing on her lips. When I got up she gave me a comforting hug before we both left.

Liam was talking with Colt and Carlisle when I walked in, no Bella. They stopped their conversation right away and Liam came to hug me tightly. I couldn't help but notice the large bruise covering his neck.

"Wh-where's Bella?"

"Downstairs." Jasper walked in at that moment to answer my question. "She's hooked up on a low drip so she remains weak Carlisle." Emmett came in right behind him with a miserable expression.

"Thank you boys." He gave them both pats on the shoulder.

"What's going on?" I looked to all of them. Last time I checked they didn't have a plan.

"We're trying to dry her out. If she's hungry, it will make her weaker to influences. We have her on a strong sedative as well right now so she doesn't break out." Carlisle explained to me gently.

"Basically we're using the same technique the Volturi used." Jasper said coldly, which made everyone uncomfortable.

"No we're not. We're trying to make her love, not kill. And we aren't using mind fucking drugs and torture. And the hunger is a necessity ok. We need to get her off blood." Liam retorted defensively, glaring daggers at Jasper.

"Look, I'm sorry. For everything. Especially to the both of you." Jasper whispered to Liam and I. "I haven't been supportive at all. I acted out of despair and hate for the Volturi. For what they did. But I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Or Bella for that matter. I'm really sorry." His guilt and sorrow were radiating off of him, I had no choice but to forgive him.

"Thank you Jasper." I smiled at him so he knew we were ok. "Can-can I go see Bella now?"

"Alice I'm not going to stop you from seeing her, I never would. But there are some things that you should know before you go in there and try to talk to her."

"Carlisle I know she doesn't have emotions right now. I know her eyes will be red and stuff."

"It's not that." My poor father looked like he had aged so much since Bella. First the uncovering of what Caius did and now this. I know he will always think it's his fault no matter what I say. "Alice, she'll say anything right now. Anything that will hurt you or make you feel like there's no hope. So you'll give up and let her go. But it's not her, it's the defensive side kicking in. And it will only get worse the closer we get." I took some time to let his words sink in, but I eventually nodded.

"I know. Thank you for warning me. But I have to see her, you know?" Carlisle looked to Liam who went over and took my hand. He led me downstairs to the room they had kept Jasper and Emmett so long ago.

"Are you ready for this?" He paused as we reached the door, pulling out his key and waiting for my affirmative. I swallowed hard.

"Yes." He gave me one last pleading look before opening it up.

There she was. After all this time, I had to rein myself in so I didn't tackle her into an embrace. She was seated in a chair, chained around the wrists and ankles, and hooked up to the IV keeping her sedated. But she was conscious, I could tell, and her head was hanging low.

"Bella." Her name fell from my lips before I could stop it. She slowly angled her head up to meet my eyes.

It didn't matter how long I spent preparing, nothing would've helped me for it. I remember thinking about how I never wanted to see Bella's eyes red, it was as horrible as I had imagined. There was not a hint of love, or even recognition, in those eyes. It was like I was standing in front of a completely different person.

"Bella, do you know who this is?" Liam asked, as if he were a mental health doctor.

"Alice Cullen." She said it so heartlessly, like I was just a stranger, or someone she was studying for a mission. I couldn't help but feel saddened at the fact she said I was a Cullen.

"No. Her name is Alice Swan. It has been for four months. She's your wife." Bella made no indication that it was a surprise to her.

"I have no wife. Marriage requires feelings, and I have none." She said robotically, all the while staring at me as if I were an interesting animal in a zoo. Could it be curiosity?

"That's not true Bella. You love her. It's just buried deep inside of you so you don't get hurt again." She turned to Liam now, with the same inquiring look on her face.

"If it hurt me before, what makes you think I would want to turn it on? Why would I want to feel, if you said I was in pain?"

"Because the good always trumps the bad. And just because you felt pain before you turned it off, doesn't mean you didn't feel extreme love before all this. The Volturi hurt you to make you feel this way. But your life is full of love, not that constant pain they made for you."

"Are you in pain? Right now?" It wasn't an accusation, she actually seemed to be curious about it. "Because you look like it." Maybe she really didn't understand facial or body expressions anymore. Did the inhumanity take away her ability to empathize? Liam and I glanced at each other uneasily.

"You could say that. I miss my friend. And Alice's misses her mate." Bella continued to stare at us peculiarly, and then rolled her head back down.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't."


	8. What Lies Beneath

_I've got demons running round in my head_

 _And they feed on insecurities I have_

 _Won't you lay your healing hands on my chest?_

 _Let your ritual clean_

* * *

 **Chapter 8:** **What Lies Beneath**

 **Alice POV:**

I walked out about fifteen minutes later, tired and upset from the day. Bella ignored the rest of our questions. I needed to get out of there before I broke down in front of her.

"You ok?" Liam came out behind me concerned.

"No. How can I be? That person in there is not Bella." I started to cry and he hushed me in his arms.

"I know. But she's in there Alice. That's why we need to fight. We can't give up on her. She would never give up on us."

"Of course." I sighed and leaned back. "What now?" He chuckled dryly and took my hand to lead me upstairs.

"We need to find a trigger of some kind. Something that will make her feel. I'll think about what might work. But right now, we need to talk." We got up to the main floor and he called everyone in for a meeting.

"Well? Are you going to tell us what you've been hiding?" Colt asked expectantly and we all looked up in wait.

"Yes. But I want you to know we weren't hiding it on purpose or anything. It just didn't seem important. Until now." That made me feel slightly better. Nothing that bad could be hidden for no particular reason. "Um, ok. Where to start? Um Carlisle you remember when you were in the Volturi yeah?" Carlisle jumped at the sudden question aimed at him, but quickly recovered.

"Yes. Perfectly. Why do you ask?"

"How do you remember it? Like specifically. Can you describe everyone's traits and behaviors?"

"Uh yes." Liam nodded for him to continue and describe them. "Well there was Aro, he was cold, manipulative, heartless, and sadistic. Then Caius, always trying to prove he was the most merciless. Obviously he was." He paused and glanced sadly at me. "And then there was Marcus. He was really reserved, always kind of seemed like he just wanted it to end. Shall I continue with the main guard?"

"No no. That was perfect. Thank you Carlisle." Liam took a deep breath and began again. "I guess it all started when we first arrived. They made that serum just for us, putting all they wanted in there to create what they pictured to be the perfect species."

"We know all this Liam." Colt said gently, but you could tell he was still slightly annoyed.

"Not this part no. There were originally three of us."

"What?" I asked, completely dumbfounded. Bella never mentioned anyone else besides Liam.

"Yeah. It was a girl. Her name was Danielle."

"What happened to her?"

"She didn't make it to the injection day. A lot of people didn't make it there actually. The getting there was rough." He stopped and ran a hand through his hair. "They didn't have time to replace her, so it was just the two of us from then on out. But there was a reason why there were originally supposed to be three." Liam looked at Carlisle, hoping he'd catch onto something. But he appeared to be just as confused as everyone else.

"Why?"

"Come on Carlisle. Use your head. The Volturi think of themselves as kings, gods even. And if they were to create the perfect species-"

"They created you in their image." Jasper whispered, putting the pieces together. There was a collective gasp that rang out.

"That they did." Liam smirked humorously at our revelation.

"Wait, how would they do that? Besides making three of you?" Emmett asked from across the room.

"Well you know there's a special bond between the vampire and the vampire whose venom created them, right?"

"So they each put their own in one of you." Carlisle answered.

"Bingo." The tension in the room was thick. You could feel everyone's questions about who had whose. "But their original plan was unraveling. After Danielle died, Marcus said he'd had enough. He had grown tired of the meaningless killing and such, and he got up and left. But not before they had his venom of course. So now they had a choice, three samples of vampire venom, but only two humans to change."

"Why didn't they just get another? I mean they had plenty of humans."

"While that may be true Emmett, it's not quite. The Volturi picked us out for special reasons, like they usually do for their guard. As you know, Bella was a sort of shield for mental abilities. So were the rest of us, we all had that one thing in common. When Danielle died, they didn't have a replacement for her. And there wasn't enough time to find one. So it was just the two of us."

"So." I started, not knowing exactly how to ask it. "Who did they choose for you?"

"Marcus." Holy shit. If he was Marcus, then Bella….

"Fuck." Emmett muttered for everyone's thoughts.

"Yeah. I figured that might be your reaction." He stayed silent for a bit so we would all take it in. "But, like I said, Marcus left before I was even created so I never met the guy. Until two days ago."

"Volterra."

"Precisely Alice. There was a rumor that Marcus went back to Volterra to live out his days peacefully. And then Bella came along and ended it for him."

"She-she killed him?" I blurted out, amazed and horrified. Killing a Volturi king? That was supposedly impossible.

"Yes. Right after she snapped my neck. So when I said I knew her end game, I had figured it out. She wants to take out the Volturi. Every last one."

"Well that's not so insane." Jasper commented again. "Did she not want to before?"

"It's more complicated than that."

"Vampires don't want to kill their creators. It's kind of wired in them." Carlisle explained so Liam didn't have to.

"Exactly. No matter how much we really crave to kill them, it's not an easy thing to do. It's going against your body's wishes. But, without humanity, all that goes away. So she was free to do as she pleased."

"So…. Whose venom created her?" Edward finally asked the big question. I didn't know which evil I preferred at this point.

"Aro."

"Jesus. Why didn't you tell us?" Rosalie was understandably angry.

"Because it wasn't important! We didn't want you to judge us for something that wasn't in our control!"

"That's ridiculous! We would never do such a thing!"

"Are you sure about that Rose? You mean to tell me that there's not a single part of you rethinking all your time with us, all the clues, everything that makes you think, 'wow, that really makes sense now'?" Our silence answered his question. "Yeah. That's what I thought."

"That's not fair." I yelled at Liam. It wasn't. "Of course we're thinking about it now. Now that you thrust this new information on us! But it doesn't change anything! It doesn't change my feelings for you or Bella." He rolled his eyes at my statement, not believing. "Hey. Look at me. I don't care. I really fucking don't. Why would I?"

"Because without her humanity, she's going to start showing signs. The things she says or does, will remind you a lot of Aro. It's in her nature. I already saw a bit of it."

"Yeah but we're trying to get her humanity back. So it doesn't really matter."

"I know. But I just didn't want you to be surprised or confused about her behavior. And I think maybe it might help a bit with analyzing her psyche and all. Considering Carlisle's background." He eyed my father, who appeared to be deep in thought. Jasper suddenly gasped, bringing our attention to him.

"That's why they're always after her first. Aro wants her back."

"Yes. Aro thinks of her as his daughter." Liam's words sent chills through my body. I honestly didn't care whose venom brought Bella into this word, well that's sort of a lie. If I had my way entirely, it would have been mine. But that ship had sailed a long time ago. The thought of Aro thinking that Bella was his however, made me sick.

"Like hell he does." Those ground out words came from none other than my own mother. I've never seen Esme so pissed off until now. Carlisle went over to comfort her.

"Relax sweetheart. He never will be." He continued to hold her as we sat in silence, taking all this new information in.

"So what do we do now?" Rosalie was the brave one to speak up in the quiet room.

"Yeah, about that. I actually wanted to talk to Edward."

"Why me?"

"We're looking for triggers Edward, of any kind of emotion. The initial Alice presence did nothing. And neither did mine. So maybe yours might provide us with something." Liam put it gently, as not to anger me. But it still hurt, I had failed.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I'm not really sure yet. Love and caring hasn't really worked yet. Maybe anger will?"

"Are you sure that's the best way to go Liam?" Carlisle wasn't objecting, just questioning.

"Honestly I have no clue Carlisle. But if she gets just one emotion back, they all will start to come with it." Without any further comments, Liam motioned for Edward to follow him downstairs. I let out an involuntary whine. Just because I knew what they were going down for and why, didn't mean my inner animal liked it. I wanted to be the one to bring Bella back. I wanted to be with her every second of it.

"Come on Alice. Let's play a board game or something." Jasper steered me away towards their place to distract me, and Rosalie and Emmett followed. Carlisle and Esme stayed behind, still bound in their embrace as he whispered loving words to her.

"I can't believe she's got Aro's venom in her."

"So what Emmett? It's like Alice said, it doesn't matter."

"Easy Rosie. I wasn't saying that as a bad thing. I'm just surprised is all. Aro usually never turns people. It's always Caius or one of the main guard."

"Maybe that's why they chose Aro and Marcus." I said dully, my bad mood hadn't faded.

Fuck I wish I had turned her way back when. It's like Bella said, the future had changed. I missed my shot. And I have to live with that fact every single day for the rest of my life.

"Alice? Alice are you even listening to me?" I had apparently zoned out and Rosalie was trying to get my attention.

"Huh? What? Oh yeah I am."

"Well you weren't. Where'd you go?"

"Just thinking about the past and so on. Nothing important really." She scrutinized me as if she knew I was lying, but eventually shrugged it off and continued to ask me which game I felt like playing. We finally settled on Monopoly, it was a long enough game to keep my mind occupied for a while.

But my head wasn't fully emerged in the game. It was downstairs, thinking about what Edward and Liam were doing with Bella right now. Jasper read my feelings and took my hand.

"We'll get her back Alice. One way or another, we'll get her back."

* * *

 **A/N: I told you an explanation would come in due time. :) Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! Your kind words are absolutely amazing and I've almost cried at a few. So really, thank you.**


	9. A Faded Memory

_Pain, just a synapses firing in our_

 _Brains, so when you cut me cut me deep_

 _Hurt the ones you love the most easily_

 _'Cause in time, we show our Achilles' heels_

* * *

 **Chapter 9:** **A Faded Memory**

 **Edward POV:**

 _"When you say we-,"_

 _"I mean my family and myself."_

 _"Ok. I'll come with you."_

 _"You can't, Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you."_

 _"Where you are is the right place for me."_

 _"I'm no good for you, Bella."_

 _"Don't be ridiculous. You're the very best part of my life."_

 _"My world is not for you."_

* * *

"I'm not sure this is a good idea Liam."

"Why? Are you starting to regret what you did after all this time?" I paused at his words, taken aback.

"No. I regretted it the second I did it." Liam studied me as I spoke but eventually continued our walk towards the reinforced door that held my ex behind it.

"You ready for this?"

"God no." We both chuckled nervously. "But I have to be. Just, if this works, please make sure she doesn't kill me."

"No promises." He grinned and opened up the door.

Alice's thoughts had prepared me, but it was nothing like being there. She looked like hell, chained down like a rabid animal. Bella glanced up at us as we came in, and a small smile came to her face.

"Going for a different approach I see."

"Anything for you doll." Liam smiled as well and pulled up a chair to sit on. Bella let out a weak laugh at his comment before turning her eyes back to mine, observing me closely.

"Go on then. Entertain me with a memory. Try to entice me into feeling something. Anger perhaps? Hatred? What are you going for here?" The way she spoke made me feel uncomfortable. She made it seem so easy and lay back, not a care in the world. I scoffed at the thought, of course that was true, she literally did not have a single care.

"Any emotion Bella. Anything whatsoever. What happened to you? You said you would never turn it off." I moved to stand in front of her while I talked.

"People change. Not all decisions are made set in stone. You of all people should know that." Liam was not holding his laughter in, obviously amused by this.

"That was a low blow Bella. But yeah I'll take the fall on that. I realized you weren't my mate. I broke up with you and then abandoned you. How does that make you feel?"

"What? Are you a therapist now? You want to know what I'm feeling?" Her smile was growing with each passing second of my effort. "Absolutely nothing."

"Really? You feel absolutely nothing about the fact that I left you, completely alone and unprotected. You feel nothing, even though I'm the reason that the Volturi got you and turned you into what you are. I'm the reason for all the pain in your life, but you feel absolutely nothing?"

"No. You're right. I do need to say something to you." She paused, building anticipation. "I forgot to thank you. So sorry about that."

"God fucking dammit Bella!" I had lost it. The plan had backfired and now I was the pissed off one. "Snap out of this! Wake up!" She didn't even flinch at my shouting. Just continued her cold stare down, angering me even further. I lost all control and Liam had to step in, stopping me from getting physical. "Sorry." I muttered, calming down again.

"It's no problem." He gave me a pat on the shoulder and then went back to his chair. I took another deep breath and crouched down so I was eye level with her.

"How do you think your father would react to what you're doing? Hmmm? Or how about your mother? What would Charlie and Renee say to you right now?"

"I don't know. But that's the beauty of death. Silence." Not an ounce of emotion was showing on her face. I had to get up and take a breath again before I did something stupid. Liam continued to sit idly by, watching everything unfold. "I irritate you, don't I?"

"Yes you do. Very much so right now." Bella nodded at my statement, obviously intrigued by my reactions.

"But you used to love me, didn't you?" Well that caught me off guard.

"Yes." I wandered back over to her, returning to my former kneeling position. "Yes I did. We were both in love with each other."

"I don't think that's true."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't think you loved me. And I don't think I loved you."

"How do you figure that?" I was doing my best to keep my temper this time. I couldn't tell if she was baiting me or just speaking whatever was on her unfiltered mind.

"Because you would never have left me if you were in love with me. And I would never have gotten over it if I was in love with you."

"Well being in love and loving someone are two different things."

"Are they?" She looked genuinely surprised and shrugged, thinking.

"Yes. They are." I stood up again, I needed a break to regain some hope. Because the girl before me was not even close to the one I used to love, or even the one my sister was in love with. No, this girl was Aro's monster. The one he always wanted.

Liam got up as well and opened the door, following suit and leaving the room with me. We stood outside for a few minutes, trying to think about what just happened.

"Oh." Liam exclaimed, bringing my attention back to him and away from my feet. "Before I forget." The most perfect punch landed on my jaw, I staggered back in shock and pain.

"What the hell was that for?!" He smirked and walked upstairs.

"That was for abandoning my best friend."

 **Alice POV:**

The boys returned a while later and everyone jumped up to greet them. I could tell right away from their faces that it was an unsuccessful trip.

"Well?" Esme still asked hopefully, purposely ignoring their defeated looks in a blind hope.

"No luck." Edward answered dejectedly. Liam sat down by my side, he looked beat.

"Carlisle honey, what now? I, we need her back." My poor mother was breaking down. Carlisle seemed to be as well, he shook his head in confusion.

"I-I don't know."

"There has to be something!" Emmett burst out in anger. "A trigger of some sort. Anything!" I distinctly heard him punch a hole through something, probably a wall. Rose went over to comfort him and I curled my knees up into my chest.

It was torture. My Bella was right down stairs, right in sight of me, but I couldn't get to her. Not the real her. This must have been the Volturi's goal. Making our lives a living hell.

"There might be something." Jasper suddenly spoke up, drawing out his words slowly. He had everyone's attention, but wasn't speaking any further.

"Well? What the fuck is it?" Liam stood up, slightly excited by the prospect and annoyed by the pause. Jasper looked him dead in the eye with the most serious expression I think I've ever seen on anyone.

"You are not going to like it."

* * *

 **A/N: Short chapter I know. I just wanted to leave y'all on a cliffy ;)**

 **Whew, I had to whip out my old and dusty copy of New Moon for this. Lord did anyone else really want to punch Bella all throughout this scene, hell, this book? Maybe even this series? Look props to Stephanie Meyer for all she did and for creating this wonderful world of Twilight. But Steph, girl, couldn't you have created a more likeable main character? I mean or at least give her some balls or a brain for fucks sake?**

 **Ok, rant over. Just reading that scene over brought on some emotions. Well I guess that's why there's fanfiction. So we can create and adjust these foundations of characters.**

 **As always, thank you for reading. You keep me going.**


	10. An Act Of Kindness

_An act of kindness_

 _Is what you show to me_

 _None more than I can take_

 _Oh, none more than I can take_

 _Kindness is what you showed to me_

 _It holds me 'till I ache_

 _Overflow and start to break_

 _Oh I, got a feeling this will shake me down_

 _Oh, I'm kind of hoping this will turn me round_

 _And now it follows me every day_

* * *

 **Chapter 10:** **An Act of Kindness**

 **Alice POV:**

"No. Absolutely not."

"Alice do you have any other ideas?"

"I can talk to her!"

"You already tried that! It obviously didn't work!"

"Well I can try harder! Anything to avoid _that_!" Jasper and I were in a heated argument after he revealed his idea on how to get Bella's emotions back.

"Alice."

"No."

"What do you think Liam?" Liam had been extremely quiet for some time, obviously thinking hard.

"I don't want to hurt her Jasper."

"Exactly! And that's exactly what it will do! So no!" I smiled at my brother's defeat.

"However." Say what now? "I can't think of any other way that would work."

"Liam! You can't be serious right now? This is Bella were talking about!"

"I know Alice, I know." He appeared to be on the verge of tears from the situation.

"The day we met you said you would never stand by and watch her get hurt again! And now you're fine being the one doing the hurting?"

"Look this isn't easy on me either!" He finally stood up angrily and pulled on his hair. "But she's obviously already been hurt which is why we're here now! And if we don't get her back soon she'll just end up worse." He sighed in defeat and sat again rubbing his face with worry. Jasper looked at me with the 'I told you so' face and I grumbled in frustration.

"Just, just let me talk to her." Jasper moved to protest again and I hushed him quickly. "One more time. Just let me talk to her one more time, and if it doesn't work-…" I swallowed hard and fought my tears. "If it doesn't work you can go along with Jasper's plan." Everyone nodded in agreement at this deal. I stood up and readied myself for hopefully a successful talk with my mate.

Liam led me downstairs slowly, taking his time with finding his key. Once it was in the door he turned to face me, emotions riddling his face.

"I really really hope this works Alice. I'll be right out here if you need me." I nervously nodded and waited patiently for him to finally open the door.

"Hey Bella." I whispered softly as the door behind me closed shut. She moved her head up and looked what felt like deep into my soul. I walked tentatively towards her and grabbed the spare chair to sit facing across each other.

"Why are you here?" Her throat had a small scratch to it which I knew meant thirst. It pained me to see her like this.

"Same as everyone else. I need you." She rolled her eyes at my statement. "Bella." I cooed at her, trying to have her complete attention. "Do you remember when you ran away from me in Phoenix?" She didn't respond, but I knew she was listening so I continued on. "You were just this little human with this big heart and you ran off to face a known killer vampire. You knew you were probably going to die, but that didn't stop you. You cared so much about your mother that you put her life above your own. That's the girl I fell in love with."

"She sounds incredibly stupid."

"Oh she was." I let out a small laugh at the thought. "But she was oh so brave. And cunning too. Nobody had ever fooled me so well before that day. Amazing what a human with a heart can do."

"Why didn't you just kill her and save yourself the trouble?"

"Because I was in love with her. Painfully so. I would have done anything for her."

"You sound like an extremely weak vampire to me."

"And what, you are strong? Strong because you have no emotions?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I have nothing to hold me back. No ties to remain loyal to. Nothing to take care of and waste my energy and time on."

"Is that what I am to you? A waste of energy and time?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe you. That's not what the Bella deep inside you thought. The one buried down in that heart of yours."

"Can I ask you something?" I was taken aback by her sudden question, but remained focused on my goal.

"Of course."

"You keep saying that I have this other being inside of me, buried deep. And this other being thinks completely differently than I."

"Correct."

"But have you not thought that if this creature is inside of me as you say, that it does think like me, just doesn't say so?"

"Because I know her." I shook my head in rebuttal.

"But do you? You didn't even know of her true sire until mere hours ago. You didn't know her heart's true desires. You obviously don't know this girl you claim to love so much at all." Her words hit me like a dagger.

"I know her Bella."

"Obviously you do not. I do. She is, as you say, inside of me. I can remember all her secret thoughts. I remember all the times she craved real blood instead of the human food you gave her. I remember the way she missed killing people."

"No she didn't. She always felt guilty about that. Remember? You asked for their forgiveness."

"Are you sure? Are you sure I wasn't lying to have you trust me. Look at my job Alice. Look at how happy it made me. Do you want to know why?"

"Because you were doing good in the world."

"Wrong. It was because I could kill. I could kill in a way that proved to your liking."

"That's not true!" I stood up in frustration. This was exactly what Carlisle had warned me of. Bella was pushing me away and manipulating my mind so I would give up.

"How do you know? You know nothing about me."

"I do! You are my wife! My soulmate!"

"Then why do you not know all my secrets?" She tilted her head at an angle to stare at me curiously.

"I-" I didn't know what to say. She was right, I didn't know some things about her. "I-I'm sorry." I couldn't stand being in the room with her gazing at me anymore. I knocked on the door for Liam to let me back out. He grimaced painfully when he saw my crying face re-enter the hall. "I'm sorry Liam I tried."

"I know Alice." He sighed and put his arm around me to lead me back upstairs. "I'm sorry too."

No one said anything when we came up and walked towards my room. They knew I had failed.

"Do you want to be there?" He asked hesitantly as I sat down on my bed.

"No. No I don't think I could." He nodded understandingly and went to leave me alone. "Just tell me when it's over." He paused and turned back to me. His voice sounded heavy, probably dreading what he was about to do.

"I will."

 **Liam POV:**

"Carlisle do you have it ready?"

"Yes, unfortunately." He handed me the syringe carefully.

"Alright." I looked up at the room, everyone was watching. "Before I do this, does anyone else have _any_ other ideas?" There was a slight pause, followed by a bunch of slow head shaking.

"Do you need me to come down there with you?" Carlisle asked for support.

"No. No one should have to bear watching this." I took a deep breath and made my way back once again downstairs, hating every step I made. I thought back to how I was talked into making this journey in the first place.

* * *

 _"You are not going to like it."_

 _"Tell me."_

 _"Well, think about it. What's the most painful thing she's ever experienced?"_

 _"Thinking she lost Alice." I replied cautiously. We couldn't very well do the same thing the Volturi did, that involved killing an innocent being._

 _"No not that."_

 _"I don't know. Being tortured day after day by the Volturi." Jasper grimaced and nodded at me._

 _"Yes but specifically." The atmosphere in the room changed immediately. I stared at him, worried where this was going. Knowing I understood what he meant, he pressed on. "And who does she trust most in this world?"_

 _"Alice." Alice jumped at being brought into this horrible conversation._

 _"No Liam. She trusts you the most. Everyone knows that." He whispered, choosing his words wisely. I was still confused on his plan, but it hit me like a brick wall all at once._

 _"No. No! I would never fucking do that!" Everyone else seemed to catch on after my outburst and started shouting at Jasper as well._

 _"Easy! Everyone calm down! I'm not telling him to do_ _ **that**_ _. He just has to lead her into believing he will."_

 _"No!" I said again, pissed at his very thinking._

 _"Just listen alright? She'll feel betrayed, hurt, and scared. Three huge overpowering emotions. Her emotions will be back in no time." While it made sense, I still had serious qualms._

 _"Ok. Ok let's just say I agree to do this." There was another large flare-up at my words but I held my hand up for silence. "Which I'm not saying I am! She would never believe me. She knows I would never go through with something like that."_

 _"She would, if she were under the influence of venom and drugs."_

* * *

There was hours of arguing after that. It came close to a day for everyone to reach the same conclusion. Eventually it became clear that this was our only option. Carlisle and Esme had done hours of extended research on the web to find any stories of vampires without their humanity turning it back on. There was absolutely nothing. This was our one hope. If it worked, Bella would hate me forever. It didn't matter if I didn't go through with it, she would still have the moment she believed it to be true scorched in her mind. But it was either have my best friend hate me, or never have her again. I wasn't a selfish person.

I paused in front of the door, trying to get into the character of a horrible person. Maybe I already was a horrible person for agreeing to do this. Probably. This was the most important part. If she didn't believe me, even under great mental stress, then there really was no hope. I was the last basket, and everyone had their eggs in me. Whatever happened from here on out, was for Bella.

I walked in quietly, as not to wake her of my presence yet. The syringe in my hand shook violently. I looked away as I inserted it into her neck and pushed its contents within her body. My stomach was sick.

Bella awoke with a start from the needle, scanning the room with confusion before it hit her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I willed my eyes to go black, thinking about blood, and growled lowly.

"I'm tired Bella. I'm tired of waiting." She slumped weakly back into the chair, the drugs did that. I ripped off her chains and pulled her up by the neck. "If you refuse to feel, I will make you." I threw her against the nearest wall with a force I only dared to use on my enemies.

"What the fuck are you doing?" A flash of panic crossed her face at my attitude. That was a good sign. I pushed myself even harder, fighting every instinct in my body.

"What does it look like? I'm going to make you feel again. And I'm going to start with pain." That was true. I swooped in on her like a hawk and threw her body once again, this time on the floor. Another wave of fear was seen on her face.

"Stop. Liam stop!" Her emotions were still off, but the two creatures inside her were fighting. One was telling her to be afraid, the other was convincing her to feel nothing. I grabbed her wrists harshly and pinned them above her head. Alice please forgive me.

"Stop what?" I ran my finger down her face like Caius always used to do. She struggled, but the drugs were too strong.

"You wouldn't." Her whisper was a cross between a dare and a fearful question. I growled again and trailed my finger down her body. The growling was actually from what I was currently doing, but I'm sure to Bella it sounded hungry.

"I think I will." I grabbed the front of her pants roughly. This was it. If she didn't turn it on right now, it was over. I wasn't going any further than this. Her belt was in my hand, ready to snap with my pressure, when I heard the most agonizing howl. A vampire without emotions would never have made that sound.

"Stop! Stop stop! Please!" She pushed fruitlessly against my shoulder, helplessly weak. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and I'd never seen her look so scared in my life. I jumped off of her immediately.

"Bella? Bella I stopped! Bella I would never hurt you I swear! I only wanted to make you believe I would. Please look at me?" She was squirming away, obviously still in a panic. I was a monster. "Carlisle! Carlisle, Jasper please help her!" I had run outside and called out. They were down in a flash, pushing me away to comfort Bella. Rosalie had run down too, she was the only one's touch who Bella did not shy away from.

"Ssshhhhh. Bella I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you. Not ever again. Just stay with me. Keep fighting. Alice will be here soon." Rosalie looked up at me obviously to tell me and go get her. I nodded and ran upstairs quickly, my shaking was horrible.

"Alice! Alice, Bella needs you now!" She immediately jumped out of her room and stormed downstairs to get to her mate in need. I stayed where I was, sinking to the floor in anguish. I sobbed uncontrollably for what I had done. There was no forgetting that face. That face that thought I had betrayed her in the worst way possible.

"She'll forgive you Liam." Rosalie had returned up without my knowledge and sat down next to me.

"How? How could one possibly forgive that?" She leaned in on my shoulder, to let me know she herself had already forgiven me.

"Because you had to have really loved her to do something as selfless as that."


	11. Prison of My Own Making

**A/N: I know. I'm sorry, I told you I would be better. It's just been a really really tough week on me. My family has been making me feel like shit and I got really depressed. I'll keep trying harder for y'all. This story really is the only ray of sunshine in my life at the moment. Ironic when you read the chapter. Sorry for the spiel, it's just getting hard and I needed and outlet. You guys are fantastic readers and I absolutely adore you. Thank you.  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 11:** **Prison of My Own Making**

 **Alice POV:**

As soon as Liam's words met my ears I ran down towards Bella at full speed. The horrifying plan had worked, bringing both elation and misery from within me. Bella had her emotions back, her humanity was restored. But at what cost?

Rosalie was cradling a very distraught Bella when I arrived, rocking her gently to convey security. As soon as she caught site of me in the doorway she whispered something too low for me to hear into my quivering mate's ear. Whatever it was, it caused her to pick her head up and meet my eyes.

While her irises still held the menacing red color, they were completely different eyes than the ones I had looked into a few hours before. I rushed to her side, carefully moving her into my lap from Rose's. Once she was securely tucked in my arms I buried my face into her hair and cried softly. Rosalie got up and gave my shoulder a squeeze before making her exit.

"Alice." Carlisle called softly to get my attention. He handed me a blanket and eyed Bella with the most remorseful expression. I had thought her shivering was from the onslaught of emotions, but obviously Carlisle was concerned. Either way, a blanket was always comforting. I wrapped it around her body and continued to pet her head. That always seemed to calm her down and relax her before, I hoped it would still do the same. "I'll go get something for her to eat." He whispered and got up, but Bella stopped him.

"No." It was the first real word besides muttering that she had said since I had come down. Carlisle and I looked at each other with equally concerned faces.

"Bella you need to eat. You haven't in days." I tried to convince her, but she just shook her head in my lap.

"No." She repeated the word again. I looked back at Carlisle and tried to express that I didn't want to upset her any more today. He nodded and left us alone.

"I'm so sorry Bella. For everything." I whispered while laying butterfly kisses all along her neck. She didn't respond in anyway, just continued laying quietly in my arms.

* * *

Those two 'no's were the only words I got from her that day. After 24 hours I began to really worry about her health. Esme brought in a small cot to try and coax her into sleeping since Bella struggled every time I tried to move us up from the room. Anything really. She wouldn't eat, drink, or sleep. She was just there.

"Bella sweetheart, I need you to eat something."

"No."

"Bella."

"No."

"Then at least drink some water. You're dehydrated."

"No."

"Bella!"

"I said no Alice." While I knew she had her humanity back on, her voice was still devoid of any emotion. I grew frustrated and sat up from the cot, shuffling Bella around a bit.

"Well what do you want me to do? I can't just sit here and watch you rot away!"

"Please just leave me alone."

"No! I'm trying to help you. Please let me."

"I don't want to be helped!" I had finally touched a nerve, making her sit up in anger. While not my first choice, at least it was something. "I told you to leave me alone!"

"Well I can't do that! Just tell me what I can do that'll make you feel better, besides leaving."

"Nothing. There's nothing you can do."

"God damn it Bella!" I stood up and paced around to calm myself. I didn't want to be angry at her. There were so many things she was feeling right now and I didn't want to make it worse. "Let me take you out of this room. Stretch your legs. You need fresh air."

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't want to move." I sat back down and took her hand.

"Are you afraid?" No response. I took that as a yes. "What are you afraid of?" She growled and stood up, walking across the room from me.

"I don't want to talk!"

"Alright. What would you like to do?"

"I told you! I want you to leave me alone!"

"Why are you so intent on staying in here alone? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? You're seriously asking me what's wrong?" There it was. "Everything! Everything is fucking wrong! I shouldn't be here! I should be dead! I should've been dead for a long time."

"Please don't say that. Why do you think such things?"

"Because it's true. I shouldn't be here."

"Why?"

"Because I fucking kill people!" She growled angrily again but I was unperturbed.

"Your humanity was off. The Volturi did that. They're the ones responsible for the blood spilled."

"STOP DEFENDING ME!"

"I'm not defending you!" I cried out in an effort to soothe her rage. She was really pissed now, shaking with fury. "I'm telling you the truth! It wasn't you."

"How many times do I have to tell that it was me? It is me. It's the darkest parts of me. But they're still in there Alice! Just bidding their time and waiting to come out again."

"Bella stop."

"Why? Why should I stop? Because you're finally realizing what kind of person I am? Because you're regretting bringing me back?"

"Never." I whispered with ferocity.

"Well you should." Just then the door creaked open and Rosalie came in with a water bottle.

"Alice, Carlisle wants to speak to you."

"I'm busy." I barked back at her rather harshly.

"Yeah it wasn't really a request." She gave me a 'try me I dare you' look and I eventually sighed and went for the door.

"Fine! Please try and get her to drink that." Bella was staring at the water bottle with a look of utter disgust, continuing her now constant growling. I understood. Water was not the liquid she was craving right now. Just because her emotions were back on did not mean it was an easy road back to blood sobriety.

"I will." I stole one last glance Bella's way before leaving. I'd never seen so many contradicting emotions on one person's face. It was hunger, frustration, guilt, and sadness all wrapped up. I let out a small whine and left her for the first time in days.

"Carlisle what is so important that you had to take me away from Bella?"

"I'm afraid that's exactly the reason I called you up Alice." He sighed sadly and motioned for me to sit while he spoke. "It's been two and a half days. I don't want you to lose hope or get frustrated with her or yourself. You need to take a break."

"Absolutely not. I should be there every step of the way."

"I know you've missed her, and I know how hard all of this has been on you. But Alice, it's not going to be steps there, it's going to be an extremely slow crawl. You cannot hope to do it alone."

"She-she needs me." I choked out, finally breaking down after all this time. Carlisle immediately got up from his desk and wrapped my in his arms.

"Shhhh. Honey I know. But you're not going anywhere. Let us help you help her. This doesn't have to be your entire burden." I cried for some time while he held me, releasing all the things I hadn't over the past several days. Eventually Esme came in and hushed me into her loving embrace, carrying me back home.

* * *

"Hey." A soft call grabbed my attention, it came from a dreadful looking Liam. He had not dared to venture downstairs since the ordeal, fearing Bella's reactions. I know he worried about my own as well, thinking he had committed a crime against the both of us.

"Oh Liam." I cried and pulled him against me. "I'm so sorry."

"Shouldn't I be the one saying that?"

"No. God no." I moved my head from his chest and looked up at his pained face. "I can't thank you enough for what you did. I could never have done it."

"Because you love her." He grumbled and tried to move away from my grasp.

"Of course I love her. But I couldn't do what you did, which shows that you love her more than I ever could."

"How do you get that?"

"You're so selfless with her. You did what had to be done, even if it hurt you _and_ her."

"Like you said, it hurt her too."

"Yes. But not as much as it would have in the end. And I would never have been able to see past that."

"Because you have a heart."

"Liam please stop being upset with yourself. There is not a person here that is mad at you. Everyone is just as grateful as I." I sighed and put my head back down against him. "And if you keep this attitude up, I'm going to have to get my brothers to beat you up so you'll stick that head of yours out of your ass." A small laugh that shook his chest lightly let me know he was better.

"How-how is she?" I sighed once again and pulled away from him so we could speak frankly.

"She's…." I struggled to find the right words. "Angry? Depressed I would say. Horribly so."

"Fuck. I'm sorry Alice."

"Why do you keep saying that? Nothing is your fault."

"But it is. I shouldn't have abandoned you like this. But more importantly, I should have rescued her before all this bullshit in the first place."

"You and Bella are so similar sometimes it makes me laugh." I smiled sincerely at him when he looked back at me perplexed. "You two always seem to think the whole weight of the world is on your shoulders, and yours alone. But it's not. And it should never feel that way."

"You're right. As usual. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing already and go down there. I know you want to."

"Oh no Alice, I can't do that. She probably hates me! Or worse, is terrified of me. I can't look at her and know I'm the one that causes those feelings!"

"She needs you."

"So you think."

"So I know." I kept my voice calm and steady, slowly persuading him into what he so desired to do.

"I can't."

"You can."

"She hates me!"

"She could never hate you and you know that. You're the only one she's ever completely honest with." While my words were truthful, they still held a bitterness in them. There were many things that Bella and I needed to talk about once things were back to normal. Or as much as they could go back. I wasn't going to take anything but the whole truth from now on. No more lies or secrets.

"Alice."

"Liam." He stared at me, mind made up but feet unmoving. "Just go already. Before I have to drag you." He took in a deep breath before leaving me alone once again.

"Ok."


	12. Two Evils

_Well I'm the lesser of two evils_

 _So keep looking_

 _Just keep looking into my eyes_

 _And as the lesser of two evils, it pays to_

 _Pays to be the nice guy sometimes_

* * *

 **Chapter 12:** **Two Evils**

 **Liam POV:**

The fears that I had been holding onto for the past several days heightened the closer I got to my destination. Even thinking about it now, I have no idea how Alice convinced me to do this. Sure I wanted to, a lot, but I have never known fear like this. It was one thing to be afraid of the Volturi, or death and such. These things are normal to be afraid of, these things can and have caused me physical and emotional harm. But Bella, Bella never has, and I promised her I would do the same. Well, nonhumanity vampire Bella aside.

I have always been so grateful that she was the one they put in that cell with me. If it hadn't been her, well I would probably still be there right now. I didn't deserve her, I knew that. She was always there for me, stronger and smarter than I ever would be. I gave her my complete trust, and in return she gave me hers. And what did I do? I stomped all over it, smashing it into pieces that could barely be picked up and repaired.

The door was slightly ajar and I knocked on it lightly, still terrified. When there was no response, I hesitantly walked in.

"Come on in Liam." Rosalie called from the end of a very shabby cot. Bella was seated at the other end, her knees pulled up to her chest, staring at me with a look I could not even hope to decipher. "Bella, just drink the fucking water." Poor Rose was holding out a full water bottle at arm's length, shaking it with ferocity at Bella.

"I told you no." Bella growled out with just as much anger. Obviously they had been arguing the point for a while, each pissed off by the other's unwavering dedication.

"Fine! You fucking deal with this." Rosalie got up and pushed the bottle into my chest, leaving me alone in the room with only Bella to stare at. She was doing a fine job of avoiding my gaze just now, picking at the fabric on the bed.

"Bella. Please look at me?" My heart broke when she did, the second her eyes met mine, she shriveled further into her corner just like an animal. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" If that was the case I had no problem leaving her right now. I didn't want to make things worse than they already were.

"No."

"Are you afraid of me?"

"No." She really was being as difficult as everyone had described.

"Then why did you react like that when you looked at me?"

"Because you make me feel guilty."

"Guilty?"

"Yes. I killed you. And I almost killed you twice."

"Oh that. Well you weren't in your right head. And I killed you too remember?"

"Why does everyone keep making excuses for me?" She blew up without warning and tugged on her hair in extreme frustration.

"Hey hey easy! No one is making excuses. We're trying to tell you the truth so you stop blaming yourself."

"That's exactly what I should be doing." Thank god I have outstanding patience. This was not going to be easy.

"You can't do that shit anymore Bella. You have a very wonderful girl up there upset about you. Alice would do anything for you, and here you are being a martyr." Bringing Alice into the picture was a risk I was willing to take at this point.

"Exactly. She would do anything for me. A monster. Devil's spawn. She's what? Probably killed maybe five or so people in her lifetime? What does that say about me? And what does that say about me for keeping her with me?"

"It says that you have good in you. That you can do something so pure as to love someone. Even if you refuse to see it in yourself, that's what it shows. And that's what everyone sees." She scoffed and rolled her eyes, I knew it sounded lame and cheesy, but it was true.

"Bullshit. It says I'm weak. It says I'm manipulative. Having these demons inside of me and then letting them taint another. That's unforgiveable."

"Oh come on Bella. It's insulting to Alice that you think so little of her. She's a lot stronger than that and you know it. You're just trying to push us away."

"Well, is it working?" The slightest smirk flashed her face before she replaced it once again with a scowl. "Ah just please leave already. I was created in a cell and I would like to live the rest of my days contained in one."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Have you lost your mind?"

"That thing was lost a long time ago." She got up and paced the room, touching the walls in a gentle manner. "If I'm contained, I can never hurt anyone again."

"Including yourself." I finished her sentence, now seeing her reasoning behind all this. "But you're wrong. You're already hurting yourself, and everyone upstairs."

"They'll move on."

"And what about you?" She shrugged and turned back to face me instead of the wall.

"I've been through worse."

"Well I'm afraid there's one small flaw in your plan Bella. No one here is going to move on, and we're sure as hell not giving up on you. I suggest you use your time down here to think about that." And with that, I turned around and left her alone again. It was a start, but I had gained enough information for the time being. I had a feeling that was all I was going to get during this trip around, but she knows I'll be back.

* * *

"How did it go?" I was greeted by an obsessive Alice, bouncing around with nervousness.

"She is really quite stubborn. But we've all known that for a while." My attempt at a joke was only half received by the Cullen crowd, there were a few tense laughs and smiles. I decided to go back to the matter at hand before someone hit me in frustration. That someone would be Alice. "It will take some time, but she's definitely still in there. She's just hurt and guilty, and unfortunately those two emotions tend to fuel each other and send the receiver into a spiraling depression. But I think with the right and timely encouragement and help, we'll get her back on her feet."

"Do you really think so? Or are you just saying that because it's Bella?" Rosalie was scrutinizing me closely, making sure I wasn't filling her with empty hope.

"I really do." Alice let out a squeal and threw herself at me in a tight hug.

"Oh thank you Liam thank you! I told you it was a good idea! I told you!" I chuckled at her enthusiasm and ruffled her hair before she let go.

"Yes you did. You are a wonderful psychic." She smiled brightly and went back to her previous conversation with Rosalie. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Carlisle quietly motioning for me to follow him, I'm sure to his office to discuss things further.

"So." He waited until we were both seated to begin speaking. "You believe she will make a full recovery?"

"I-, well that's not exactly what I said." I cringed at what I was about to say. But Carlisle sat patiently with a calm and composed face. "I believe she will recover, but no, I don't think she'll ever be the same as she was before. Which, I guess makes sense when you think about it."

"True." He brought his hands together and pursed his lips in deep thought. "After the initial change by the Volturi it was presumed her personality was a reaction from the serum, but in reality it was from the torture and isolation. Being treated like an animal, in fact worse than an animal really, for months obviously has lasting effects. She became guarded and protective of others. Now with this new ordeal, I am not exactly sure what to expect. She didn't have you this time, and I can't even begin to imagine the horrors she faced. Add to this all the overwhelming guilt of blood shed from her humanity switch, it's not a pleasant concoction."

"No it is not." I sat listening to Carlisle's truthful words, all the while my heart was experiencing sharp pangs from them. I had been trying not to think of all these horrible truths, but now they were facing us dead on, and it hurt. A lot. He sensed my unrest and went around to sit in the chair next to me, placing a fatherly hand on my shoulder.

"You cannot blame yourself for this Liam. Just as Bella should not be blaming herself for what she did. These things are not in your control."

"I know Carlisle, I know this now. But I can't help but understand how she feels. I-" I hesitated confessing what had been on my mind for a while now. Carlisle was never one to judge, but it was always a scary thing to expose your inner mind to someone.

"It's alright son, you can tell me." I almost broke down at his loving words. He had never called me his son. I knew that the Cullen family had accepted me just as they had Bella, but it was still a beautiful thing to feel that overpowering love.

"I feel those demons she describes. It's almost as if there is a small nagging voice in the back of my head, trying to kill everything in its path. And of course I always have control over it, but there are some times when it is a struggle. So yes, I understand why she's scared and ashamed." Carlisle sighed and squeezed my shoulder.

"Now I want you to listen to me Liam, you are part vampire and part werewolf, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Every single one of us has that voice just as you do, I know ours are not as dominant as I'm sure yours are, considering the venom and blood that created you. But I want you to know that you are not alone, and you are not weak. You need to understand this, because once you accept it, you will make peace with that voice. Remember all those juvenile movies and TV shows with the miniature angel and devil that sat on a person's shoulders and debated their decisions?" I laughed and nodded at this reference.

"Yes of course."

"Well your conscious is very much like that, as silly as that sounds. The "angel" part is your humanity, but it's dominant, keeping you level headed and able to feel the world around you. The "devil" side is the non-human counterpart, pushing you to give up and take the easy road. I'm not saying it will ever go away, but it can eventually get quieter. You just have to remember it's not as strong as you."

"But it's still a part of me, isn't it? Just like what Bella said." I sighed, completely empathizing with Bella's depression.

"I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it isn't, but it doesn't change who you are. Now if you were a lawless, heartless vampire killing everything and everyone in their path, I would tell you differently. But you are not, which tells me that you will not ever consciously give into that. What happened to Bella, was provoked and intentional, it wasn't just her inner animal winning a random fight of control. It was staged and will never happen again in that manner. I have no doubts about either of you. Why do you think I trust you so wholly?"

"I never thought about it I guess." I let out a watery laugh, I had apparently started to cry at his kind sentiments. Carlisle smiled kindly and chuckled with me while I wiped my eyes in embarrassment.

"Do not be ashamed of your emotions Liam. Especially now that you know the look of someone without them." He have my shoulder one last pat before standing up. "Come on now, I believe Esme is stress cooking once again and you are her main customer at the moment."


	13. A Call for Back-up

_Find comfort in a stranger_

 _Give me something unfamiliar_

 _Between these sheets let's hide away_

 _One light on in the city_

 _We lose ourselves completely_

 _Raindrops fill the alleyways_

* * *

 **Chapter 13:** **A Call for Back-up**

 **Alice POV:**

"Alright Alice, I cleared two hours for you today after Carlisle. Then I'm taking over for the night."

"Just two hours?" I whined in annoyance. I already hated talking about Bella like she was some patient in our care, but the time limits and scheduling were just plain frustrating.

"You did have her all day yesterday. And Carlisle wanted to check on her health and such." Liam gently reminded me, but I still grumbled my irritation.

"I hate this."

"I know. I do too. But we knew this wouldn't be easy, and we're not going to give up. No matter what it takes."

"Why do I feel like you're not telling me something?" Liam cringed at my question and turned away.

"It's nothing Alice. Just trust me alright? I'm going to make a real quick phone call. See you later?" Then he left the room without waiting for my answer. I sighed and made my way over towards Jasper and Edward, who were in a heated chess match.

"Would you like to play me after I beat him Alice?" Jasper asked with a cocky twinkle in his eye.

"No thanks. Just killing time by watching you two." Truth be told, I didn't like playing chess unless it was with Bella.

"Don't worry Alice. You'll be back playing chess with her in no time." Edward smiled as he read my mind, knowing my reasons.

* * *

 _"Bella! Could you be any more obvious about letting me win?"_

 _"I'm sorry darling. You just looked so upset after I beat you that last time. And you know me, I aim to please you." There was a slight purr in the latter part of her sentence, letting me know she was thinking of much different ways to please me._

 _"Oh I know you do." I purred right back at her, succeeding in making her eyes go pitch black immediately. I bit my lip, waiting for her to make her next move._

"Alice!" I was interrupted from my lovely memory by an extremely aggravated Edward and Jasper. Both having known exactly what I was reliving from their different gifts.

"Fuck, sorry." I walked away in embarrassment, and quite a bit of sexual frustration.

It had been so long since Bella touched me in those ways, our honeymoon to be exact. That fucking fight was the reason why I never was able to tell her I loved her before she was taken. With her being captured, my primal need was all but gone, there were much bigger needs on my mind. Like having my mate be safe and unharmed. Now with her here, I felt it stirring. My main concern was still to help her and get her back on her feet, but my mind wandered.

"Alice? Carlisle says he's ready for you."

"Be right down. Thanks Rose." I got up and gathered my things, making my way downstairs. Carlisle met me right outside the reinforced door. "How is she today?"

"Well I was able to get her to eat. But not much. Only enough to keep her living." I sighed and shook my head side to side.

"Take the good with the bad I guess. It's something right?"

"That is true. Just keep your head up Alice." He gently patted my head and left me to it. Alright. Here we go again.

"Hey Bella." I called softly to her figure that was slumped against the wall. She lifted her head miserably, meeting my eyes briefly before laying back down again. I silently whined at her dreadful appearance. She was terribly thin, sickly so, her eyes were a dark burgundy with huge black circles underneath them, and her hair was in complete disarray. You could see exactly how little the Volturi cared about her with something as simple as a haircut.

"Welcome back."

"I missed you, you know." She grumbled and nodded, obviously hiding her true feelings. "Bella… Please talk to me."

"What do you want from me?" She has been very quick to anger lately. Carlisle theorizes that her emotions are hanging by the surface since they were buried for so long. But for some reason, rage was the only one making constant and regular appearances. "I ate and drank for you! I'm keeping myself alive to make you happy! What more could you possibly want?"

"I only want to talk. Just a conversation, that's all." I pulled up the spare chair to sit across from her while she rolled her eyes. "Do you remember what you said to me when your emotions were off? About how I didn't know you?" That got her attention. Bella sat up in her cot and leaned forward.

"I remember _everything_." The way she said it made me shiver. My original goal was almost forgotten by the way she looked at me, but I pressed back on.

"Well, you were right. I don't know you, not as I should. You've been keeping secrets, and so have I, to prevent from hurting each other. I want to amend that today. Starting with me."

"So what? You're trying to bring us together by sharing our darkest secrets? Do you not see a single problem with that?"

"Nope." I chirped out confidently. I was following through with my plan. Bella grunted a laugh and leaned back against the wall once more.

"Alright then. Please tell me what's been plaguing your mind, perfect little Alice." I cringed at the way she regarded me, but Liam had warned me of this behavior from her. She was trying to push me away, thinking that she was tainted and I was too pure to be loved by her.

"When I was first turned, before I had my vision of Carlisle, I fed on humans."

"How many did you kill?"

"Seventeen." Bella scoffed even louder than before.

"Wow. Seventeen. I think I killed seventeen humans within the first three days of my turning." Bella growled at the end, her eyes darkening at the memory. I swallowed hard and continued.

"I looked into all their futures before I took their lives. What could have been and what never happened. And how I could have prevented myself from it. The future is fickle, taunting. That is the only reason why I searched for another way."

"And what? I'm supposed to be thinking different of you? Or do you want me to be proud?"

"Neither." I shrugged truthfully. "I told you Bella, I don't have an agenda here. I'm just speaking my mind."

"Then by all means, please continue."

"Ok. I don't like your sexual history. And I know I shouldn't because it's not and it wasn't my fucking place, but deep down it bothers me. It really fucking bothers me that other people have touched you, willingly or not, in places that only I wanted to be touched by me and me alone. It's a primal instinct and I'm not proud of it, but it's there." Bella's eyes softened slightly at my confession, obviously taken aback by my sudden reveal about our relationship.

"How often did you think these things?"

"Every once in a while. Not all the time, but just randomly from time to time."

"When we had sex?" I was stunned momentarily by the bluntness of her question, but again I went with the truth and nodded.

"Sometimes, yes." Bella nodded as well, in a thinking manner. I couldn't tell what her emotions were about this new piece of information, but I didn't give her any more time to ponder this one. "Why didn't you keep your truck?"

"What?" This was not a question she was expecting of me.

"Why didn't you keep your truck?" I repeated, a little louder this time. "You loved that old thing. Wouldn't let any of us bad mouth it."

"I don't know." She mumbled so quietly I could barely hear.

"Yes you do." No response. I kept going. "Why didn't you go to Charlie's funeral?" That one hit a nerve.

"I thought we were talking about you? Not me. Why are you asking me these questions?" Her nostrils flared in annoyance of my personal queries, but I remained calm.

"Because you never told me. You never talk about these things that have obviously been a huge deal in your life." My voice was cracking slightly at the emotion I was showing. I had been holding onto this for ages. "You said you'd let me in. You made a promise to me. You said that you couldn't tell me everything but you would try. But instead you block me out from the past. You continue to shield me and yourself from these memories."

"ENOUGH!" Bella stood up, trembling with anger. "Enough." She walked around me, pacing the room to calm her shaking body. "I'm done with you. Leave." I was feeling particularly ballsy today, so I took a step forward and faced her head on.

"Make me."

A thousand emotions crossed her face. Anger, hatred, guilt, annoyance, sadness, and… love? Bella moved before I could decipher it further.

"Go Alice. Before I do something I'll regret." My comeback I was preparing never made it out of my mouth, I was interrupted by an extremely aggravated Rosalie.

"Sorry to disturb to Alice, but you _really_ need to come upstairs." I would have normally protested, but something in her face was telling me to go.

"Fine!" I turned around to Bella again. "I'll be back." And without waiting for her to respond, I left with Rose.

"Again Alice, I'm really sorry about interrupting you. But Liam went way too fucking far." Rosalie was downright growling in fury. What the hell could Liam do that would piss her off so much?

"What do y-?" Unfortunately my unasked question was answered by a stench. I knew this foul odor. All calm and peaceful feelings were thrown out the window. "LIAM WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?" I yelled as I burst through the doors of the lounge.

"Alice calm down."

"CALM DOWN? HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WITH _HIM_ HERE?" I pointed to the culprit sitting in the corner, currently shaking with a combination of fear and instinct.

Jacob fucking Black.

I lost it and lunged. Lunged at the fucking asshole that touched my mate before me. The fuck-wad that left my wife alone and failed to save her from the Volturi. The dick that had the audacity to bless me with his presence today.

"Alice no!" Liam caught me midair and struggled hard to rein me in. He was getting no help from my family. "I'll tell you why I called him if you just calm down alright?" I debated it, and then finally relaxed in his grip.

"Fine! But tell me fast before I fucking kill him _and_ you." I spit viciously, Emmett and Rosalie sniggered.

"Ok. Just take a breath for me ok?" I did so quickly, still beyond pissed. The wolf stench was not helping in any way. "I called him because he's the only one I know close enough to help. Think about it Alice. He's full shifter wolf. He knows a side of her and can help. Bella is not going to be vulnerable with me, not when she knows what I want. Jake is not technically on our side. He can talk with her frankly, without a second agenda, and see what's blocking her." Liam's words made sense, but I was still pissed. I began to growl again at the mutt.

"Alice I swear I don't have those feelings for her anymore." Jacob held his palms up to show he meant no harm while he talked. "She's imprinted and found her mate. Trust me, wolves respect and honor that. I could never have feelings for someone who was in love with someone else. She's just a friend now."

"Yeah. A friend you fucked!" I made a move to jump at him again but this time Jasper grabbed me.

"Alice I need you to please calm down. You're not thinking as clearly as you should. Liam's making sense, and you know he would never try to hurt you or Bella." He sent a wave of calmness through me and I slumped. Damn.

"Look if you don't believe me, you can have Jasper stay nearby. He can confirm that I'm telling the truth. Or hell, ask Edward!" I looked to both my brothers in desperation, each nodded their approval.

"Ok. Ok I trust you. But I still hate you."

"Understood." There were a few moments of awkward silence and uncomfortable shifting around.

"What do you plan to do Jacob?" Carlisle finally broke the quiet tension.

"Just talk with her honestly. Figure out what's going through her head. Anything that will help I guess." I muttered many a curse words underneath my breath. He was taking _my_ job.

"Alright then. Carlisle we will report back to you right when he's done." Liam said while leading Jacob past me. Rosalie tugged on my hand to take me elsewhere, obviously for another distraction.

"I hate him too Al. But Liam's right, it could be a good way in to Bella. You gotta remember she is half wolf. And you gotta thank god she doesn't stink like that. Phew!" Emmett tried to cheer me up as he pulled out _Jenga_.

"I know. But she's _my_ wolf. I just miss her."

"Well I'm afraid you're wrong there sweetheart." Esme came in and gave me a much needed hug. "She's _our_ wolf."


	14. Running Free

_All non-believers stand aside and fear_

 _A new day's marching through the door_

 _How could you ever think you'd make it here_

 _Did it bleed' Was it sore_

 _Through the struggles you've endured_

 _You've come so far from innocence_

 _Provided all the consequence_

 _Only what does it matter now_

* * *

 **Chapter 14:** **Running Free**

 **Jacob POV:**

"Well that went better than I thought."

"Oh thanks." Liam smiled at my comment as he led me downstairs. I knew the Cullens wouldn't take well to my being here, but damn. Alice scared the shit out of me. Like that little midget actually fucking terrified me. I had a newfound respect for Bella.

"Relax Jake. No one's going to hurt you. I got your back."

"No offense Liam, but I don't think even you could stop an enraged Alice." We both chuckled at the joke, grateful for these relaxed moments.

"Too true. Honestly I don't think Bella could even stop her if she was really pissed." The rest of the walk was silent until we reached her door. "Alright. Just don't do anything that will cause Alice to kill you."

"That's great advice." He grinned and opened the door to let me in.

"Jake?" Bella looked up the second I walked in, completely confused.

"Hey Bells." I wandered over and plopped onto the uncomfortable little cot with her. I wasn't going to treat her like some broken doll like the rest of them. I never did. Not when Edward left her and not when she came back from the Volturi over the summer. That's what made our friendship so true, I never made her feel weaker. "Long time no see."

"What are you doing here?" She was definitely worried about my presence, probably thinking I was some mind game to screw with her.

"I haven't seen you in months Bells! Hell, you've gotten married since we last saw each other. I just missed you."

"Mmhhmm…" She scooted away towards the wall, still wary of me. I sighed and decided on telling her the whole truth.

"Look Bella, truth is, Liam called me. Everyone's really worried about you and how you're doing down here. They thought I might be able to help. But really the only reason why I came, was because I missed you. Honestly I could care less about their agenda. I just want to spend some time with my friend." Bella studied me closely, but eventually deemed my confession to be good enough for her.

"Ok."

"Alright then." I smiled, it had been forever since we talked. "So what's new? Tell me about your wedding!"

"Ugh. New subject."

"Ok." I racked my brain, and grinned in my brotherly perverted way. "Honeymoon?"

"Jake!" Bella hit me with a pillow, but I did see the tiniest little smirk on her face before it disappeared.

"Alright alright." I laughed and threw the pillow back at her, trying to think of a new topic. "How about work? Before all this shit, how has your work been? I heard you took that Volturi complex a while back."

"Um yeah, we did."

Bella and I talked effortlessly for about two hours. As long as I steered clear of the subject of Alice and the past four months, it was easy. I even got her to laugh. She was actually doing so well that I decided to make a bold move.

"Bells, when was the last time you phased?" Her trace of a smile immediately slid right off her face.

"I don't know." She mumbled in defense. I knew it was a risk, but I continued with my question.

"Yeah you do. It was before, wasn't it?" I took her silence as my answer. "Come on Bells. We're going for a run." I jumped up and pat her knee for her to follow. Bella looked at me as if I had grown three more heads.

"What?"

"We're going for a run. You need a good stretch and so do I."

"No. I told you I don't want to leave." I sat back down and put on my serious friend face.

"Look, I promise to bring you right back here after we're done. Just a quick run, no strings attached. I miss spending time with you when we're in wolf form." I knew I had her, so I stood up again. "Besides, you're looking weak as shit right now and it may be the only time I can beat you in a race." Another tiny grin crossed her face and she got up.

"One run."

"One run." I confirmed and took her hand. "Open up Liam!"

"Done so…?" Liam's incomplete sentence stopped the moment he saw Bella was up with me, ready to go outside. His eyes were bulging out of his head in disbelief and I had to close his mouth for him.

"Bella and I are going for a little run. We'll be back in a bit." I said nonchalantly, conveying easy going for Bella, but also a 'don't fuck this up, act normal' to Liam. Luckily he caught my drift and nodded.

"Ok. See you when you get back." I smiled thankfully at him and led Bella back upstairs for the first time in ages. Deciding there were too many prying eyes, I took Bella out the back way to avoid any drama. This is just going to be a soothing and muscle relaxing run. "Alright I'll strip over there and you can over here. Meet in the middle?" She nodded happily, probably relieved I didn't make us strip right then and there. Sure it wasn't anything I hadn't seen before, but things were different now.

 ** _You ready?_** I asked as soon as she walked up to me in wolf form. God even her wolf was fucking scrawny. Maybe I can convince her to eat more later.

 ** _Yeah. Let's go._** I barked a laugh and started a slow jog. The fresh air felt amazing, even for me. And I'm outside practically all the time. I can't even imagine how good it felt for Bella. She really forgets she's part animal sometimes, it's nothing to be ashamed of as some people may think. It's actually pretty fucking fantastic if you let yourself go every once in a while. And that once in a while was right now for Bella.

 ** _Think you can handle a little speed?_** I looked behind me and almost stopped in surprise. The moody depressed Bella must have been left the second we started running. There was a light in her eyes and she was bouncing on her paws with excitement. Yep. A run was an awesome idea.

 ** _Hell yeah._** We started to run faster, eventually sprinting through the woods. Suddenly I found myself being tackled to the ground. Not in a threatening way, actually it was exactly like when we were kids and playing in the mud. Except now we were fucking giant wolves. Life is weird.

After about an hour and running and tackling each other into various creeks and such, we were both exhausted.

 ** _Let's head back. It's getting late. But we're walking. I was very wrong, you are still much faster than I am._** Bella grinned as I panted on the walk. She looked about a thousand times lighter. I almost regretted my promise about making her go back, all it would do was make her sullen again. But my promise did get her outside in the first place. So it was a give and take.

 ** _I'm a little embarrassed for you Jake. That was pathetic. We might have to go on another run some time so you can make up for that show._** Once again I almost stopped in my tracks in surprise, but I shook it off and continued walking, playing it cool.

 ** _Sure thing Bells. You say the time and I'll name the place._** She nodded and we walked in relative silence for some time. Eventually I grew another idea and took a leap with my new trust. **_She misses you, you know?_** At first I thought I spoke my truth too early. Bella had been quiet for so long that I jumped when she finally responded.

 ** _I know. I miss her too._** There was a small whine that came from her mouth while she thought this to me. I could almost feel her guilt and pain.

 ** _I'm not saying that you have to go back to the world and act normal again for her. Just let her in every now and then. I know you don't want to hurt her, but she's heartbroken. Talk to her like you talked to me today. It doesn't have to be about anything heavy or uncomfortable._** She nodded and we continued walking.

 ** _Why does she love me?_**

 ** _Well I'm afraid I'm not the right person to ask that question. But you're not a monster Bella. You gotta stop thinking you are. And before you give me the 'I kill people' speech, stop and understand that nothing you've done is unforgiveable. I wouldn't be friends with you if it wasn't so. And you know I mean that when I say it because I have no filter._** After a small laugh, we were both quiet once more. I could tell Bella was thinking a lot.

 ** _What do I say? I can't just say sorry._**

 ** _I don't know Bells. But you have to say something. Anything. It probably wouldn't hurt to tell her that you love her. That poor girl had to deal with emotionless you. She probably needs a little confirmation of your love._** We had reached the edge of the forest near the compound. I went off to phase back and put clothes on and Bella did the same. Once we were both fully dressed and ready to head back inside, I stopped her for a moment.

"Oh and Bella, I mean this in the nicest way, stop being a pussy and just talk to her already." For a second I thought she was about to punch me, she probably almost did, but she cracked a grin after a bit.

"Thank you Shakespeare."

"Any time doll."

* * *

"Jesus Jake, are you a miracle worker? A saint? A genie?" Liam finally was able to show his dumbfounded expression once Bella was back inside her 'room'.

"Nah. I'm just a greek god."

"Ha ha. Seriously dude? How did you get her out? And smiling?"

"I just talked to her." Liam rolled his eyes at the simplicity of my statement. Like he felt I was calling him stupid for not trying such a thing. "I mean not about sensitive shit. That's your guys' problem. You need to think of it as if your entire relationship was destroyed except for the foundation. So you can't just jump into it back on the 51st floor where you were. You need to work your way up from that foundation again." He shrugged in thought and nodded.

"Well, I'm still amazed. And very grateful. Thank you Jake."

"It's no problem man."

"So how long are you thinking of staying?"

"I'll start with a week and see where it goes from there. I have really missed her. And Sam's getting on my nerves."

"You know we could use a guy like you here."

"Ha. Save your recruitment speech bud. I'm quite happy where I am."

"Alright. Just something to think about Jake." We talked lightheartedly all the way upstairs until we walked over to the Cullen's place. There was a very awkward silence right when we strolled in, every eye on me.

"H-how did it go?" Alice appeared to be on the verge of tears and anger. "You were there a long time."

"We talked and went for a run. Nothing crazy." I was exhausted from the activities of the day, so I slumped onto the nearest empty couch while speaking.

"You went for a run? Like outside?" Blondie asked, like I had just told her I became the pope.

"Yeah. We couldn't really run laps around her room, could we?"

"Don't sass me mutt!" She stood up to confront me, but luckily Carlisle gave her a gentle push back down. I was not in the mood to fight a vampire right now.

"Everyone please keep a level head this time around. Now, did you really get her to agree to go outside? How did you do such a thing?"

"I talked to her like a normal person. I didn't coddle her. And then, when she was ready, I suggested she phase and go for a run."

"Wait. You got her to shift and run? Dude. Who are you?" Emmett was definitely growing on me. I was about to smile and joke with him a bit, but I caught sight of the look on Alice's face. She thought she had failed Bella once again, and I had bested her. Alice was now thinking Bella was much closer to me than to her if I managed all this progress. But that was very wrong.

"She wants to speak to you Alice. Not right now, give her a little time. But go down there some time later." Beautiful silence greeted that. Finally the questions were over. I was thinking about taking a well-deserved nap, before I felt the cushion to the side of me sink down with someone's weight. "Liam please let me sle-" I had opened my eyes midway between the sentence to find that it was in fact Alice who sat next to me. Probably the last vampire I ever thought that would purposely place themselves next to me. Well maybe blondie was the last. But Alice was a close second.

Before I was even able to ask her what she was doing, she placed her hand in mine. And then we sat, quite peacefully actually. It was her way of thanking me, and letting me know I wasn't hated anymore. She even curled up to my side when I began to fade to sleep.

 **Alice POV:**

After about an hour of Jacob sleeping on me, wow never thought I'd say that, I went down to see Bella. I didn't know what to expect after all the progress Jacob made, but I didn't want to get my hopes up too high. Honestly I'd consider myself happy if I just sat with her for the night.

"Bella? It's me, can I come in?"

"Yeah." I opened the door the rest of the way and walked in slowly. I already noticed a difference in Bella's appearance. She had more color in her face, a little more life in her eyes than before. The room, of course, stunk of Jacob, but I didn't mind that much right now. He had worked wonders, I could deal with a smell if it meant my mate was doing better.

"Jacob said you wanted to see me?" I tried to play it down, not sounding too excited that it was her request.

"Um yeah. I guess, um, I don't know where to start." She started scratching her head and looked down to her lap. Guilt.

"Then don't." I decided to make a bold move. Very slowly, I crawled to her lap and placed myself carefully into it, resting my head on her shoulder. I kept waiting for her to shove me off and yell, but instead I heard a content sigh and felt her muscles relax to my embrace.

This right here, was perfect. I could stay like this forever. It had been so long since she let me touch her in any way, so this was heaven. Her breathing indicated that she was softly crying, but I didn't dare make another move. So I just caressed her free hand gently, letting her know I loved her.

Eventually I turned to cup her face, looking deep into her eyes that were swimming with tears. And at long last, she let me in.

"Alice, I miss being human."

* * *

 **A/N: If you have the time, please leave me a review. They are very much appreciated. :)  
**


	15. A Shot in the Dark

_Breaking the silence_

 _Like I'm bursting at the seams_

 _So many stifled thoughts_

 _And long-forgotten dreams_

 _Scream hallelujah_

 _I can almost taste reprieve_

 _Your iron rule has often_

 _Had me on my knees_

* * *

 **Chapter 15:** **A Shot in the Dark**

 **Alice POV:**

 _"Alice, I miss being human."_

Her words absolutely tore at my heart. They were dripping with emotion, so much that I had never heard from her, not even during the peak of our relationship. I continued my gentle caressing of her face, this was her time to speak.

"I lied to you before. I'm sorry." She hung her head in shame again, kissing my palm as she did. I chose my next words very carefully, wary about scaring her.

"Why did you lie?" I hoped it wasn't because of me or what she thought I wanted to hear. Bella sighed and continued to talk into my palm, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Because I've been lying to myself. I thought-I thought it would make it easier." It was like she was taking a jackhammer straight to my chest. As badly as I wanted to sob for her, I kept myself together. "I didn't want to hate myself any more than I already did. Because-because there's nothing I can do about it."

"Bella." My voice came out weak, laced with sorrow. "Please look at me." I angled her head with my hand and she finally looked up. Her face was in pure agony, a combination of guilt and self-hatred.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. Please don't ever be." I nuzzled into her neck while she cried, hating every second she did. There was nothing I could say or do to make this better, and that's the worst feeling in the world for a mate. Of course I missed her being a human as well, that's when I fell in love with her. But really most of my unsettling feelings about who she was now was not because of anything she did, it was how she was forged. I had painful nostalgia about her human innocence and carelessness, and mostly anger about what could have been. Would she still hate this life so much if I had brought her into it? Unfortunately I had a pretty good idea what the answer would be, and it didn't help my state of mind.

Bella cried softly for most of the night. It wasn't the violent sobbing I imagined was in her, but at least it was a release of some sort. When it finally ceased, and I felt comfortable enough to break our embrace, I pulled away and sat across from her. We were still very close, I needed some form of contact after spending so long with none.

"Um, I have something for you." I reached under the collar of my shirt and tugged on the chain I had been wearing for so long. With one hand I reached out to grab Bella's, and with the other I placed her old dog tags in her palm. She looked down at them, obviously remembering exactly how she parted with them. They were still coated in her dry blood, the smell was comforting to me in her absence.

"I promised I would come back. I'm sorry it took me so long." We had reached the dreaded talk.

"I know. Zoey told me. And please stop apologizing."

"Fuck Alice, I can't stop apologizing. I mean, I knew what was in that hall, but I still went anyways. You should hate me. I left you."

"Bella stop. How could I possibly hate someone who would be so selfless? You went to help someone in need, someone you love and care for. Which just proves how good you are. There was not a second that I was angry with you, and that's the truth." She was silent again, picking at the fabric on the cot.

"They took your ring." I sighed and took her left hand in mine, tracing her bare ring finger.

"I know." I had noticed this right when she was brought back, but I worried it was her that had taken it off in the non-humanity phase. But of course it was the Volturi. It was always the fucking Volturi.

"I don't like not having it. I feel naked."

"I'll get you a new one."

"It's not the same."

"I know, but as long as I have you, it doesn't matter. I'll get you a hundred more rings, as long as I have you." I said it as a confirmation of my love, but also as a question for her. _Did_ I still have her?

"You do." She squeezed my hand for reassurance. I missed her warmth and crawled back into her lap, molding myself into her body. Bella wrapped her arms around my waist and kept our fingers entwined. She even leaned down to kiss the top of my head before resting her cheek there.

This was the sign I had been waiting for. We were ok. Nothing could or ever would tear us apart.

* * *

 **Four Days Later**

Things have been getting better each day. Bella moved back upstairs with me three days ago and I couldn't be happier about it. We've found that she does better with a set schedule, nothing to throw her off. She'd get up, go for a run, have breakfast, spend the afternoon with either me, Jake, or Liam, have lunch, play games or read with various members of the family, have dinner, go for another run, take a shower, and then go to bed. Her emotions were pretty stable, nothing extreme. It was a quiet life, but it was miles better than how things were.

The other day she played video games with Emmett and he was so worried about scaring her off that he lost within the first two minutes. But he didn't care, he was just elated to have her there with him. I still had my concerns about her health however.

"What brings you in today Alice? How's Bella doing?" Carlisle and I were meeting about once a day to discuss progress and such.

"She's still going strong. She and Jake are going for a run right now." Jacob and I had gotten closer over the past several days, almost even friends.

"That's good Alice. But you're still worried?" My father was pretty good at reading my facial expressions. Years of living together pays off.

"She's not sleeping Carlisle. She goes to bed, but she just lays there." He sighed and got up from his desk chair, coming around to the seat next to me.

"I knew this might be a problem."

"What am I supposed to do? Can you give her something?"

"No, not this time. It needs to happen naturally. I don't want her dependent on something when she needs to sleep." I grumbled angrily, I had a feeling that would be his answer. He's been very wary about giving Bella anything after the muscle relaxant incident. "It's going to be alright Alice. While she can hold out from sleep longer than the average human, eventually she's still going to succumb. It's only a matter of time. Just be there when she does, because I'm sure it won't be pretty when it happens."

"Ugh. I hate this."

"I know. I do too. But there's not much we can do."

"That's what I hate the most about it. I hate being useless."

"You're not useless Alice. Your job is the most important, unconditional love and support."

"Yes I know. That doesn't mean I'm satisfied though." I left before he could give me another speech. I didn't want to be angry at him, but really it was all so unhelpful. My body decided to carry me over to Bella, who had just gotten back.

"Oh hey Al. I was just thinking about you." She leaned down to give me a quick peck on the lips, pretty much the extent of our physical relationship right now. But I'm not complaining, I'm just happy she's kissing me in the first place.

"All good things I hope." Bella grinned and put her arm around me. I couldn't help but notice the dark circles under her eyes had gotten more pronounced. "Come on Bells. Shower and then bed."

"Yes ma'am." She let me tug her to our room, eventually parting when she went to shower. I would have joined her, but I worried about taking too big a step. We were avoiding the big intimacy talk. Rosalie said she'd come by sometime next week to discuss the matter. In the meantime, I sat reading in bed while my wife took a shower alone.

"Bella." I called to her softly the moment she came out of the bathroom, fully dressed and towel drying her hair.

"Is something wrong?" My tone was obviously troubled and she caught on. Bella sat down next to me and reached for my hand.

"Bella, I know you're not sleeping." Almost immediately she dropped my hand and moved away.

"Yes I am."

"Bella!" Before I even knew it, I was crying again. Her neglecting her health has always been a sensitive subject to me. My crying did make Bella less defensive however, she slumped and pulled me into her lap.

"Fuck Alice I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shut you out again. I am trying this time, I swear." I sighed and pulled back some so I could look at her face.

"I know you are. It's just, I hate seeing these circles under your eyes. Are you afraid of the nightmares?" She hesitated, trying to find the right words. But I sat patiently in her lap, waiting for her to find her voice.

"I-I don't want you to think I'm weak."

"Bella. Trust me, I could never think that. Besides, I've taken care of you after your nightmares before."

"Yeah but, this is different. So much has happened since then. It's not going to be a once a week occurrence for a bad one. It'll be a daily thing."

"And it doesn't matter to me. I don't sleep Bella, you are not disturbing me in any way." She was still frowning about the issue. "Please trust me love. You need your rest. I promise to take care of you." I pulled her up by the chin and kissed her tenderly. My tongue actually managed to make its way into her mouth this time before she pulled away with heavy breathing.

"Ok." She leaned against my forehead to recover from the kiss, finally laying down after her heartbeat went back to a normal speed.

"Thank you." I whispered while laying down on her chest, humming a soft tune for her to fall asleep to.

During the first hour, Bella kept jerking around, trying to stay awake out of habit. But after a gentle reminder from me, she eventually faded to sleep in the second hour. However, the third hour held chaos.

Bella had started to mumble so I pressed tighter into her chest, hoping my weight would comfort her in some way. This technique had worked many a time before. But tonight it did not, the mumbling turned into a full blown nightmare. She was thrashing around and crying out for help, I immediately went into wake mode.

"Bella! Bella wake up! It's just a nightmare. Wake up." Relief flowed through me right when she opened her eyes, which of course turned back to panic when I saw her reaching for her gun under the bed. Crap she thinks I'm a threat. "Bella no! It's me! It's Alice!"

Her trance didn't break and I prepared myself to dodge a bullet, but her hand turned and now the gun was pressed firmly against the side of her head.

"NOOO!" Without thinking, I tackled her to the ground. A shot rang out and I heard it hit something to the side of us. Bella struggled against me hard, completely blind with terror. "LIAM! LIAM HELP!" I knew the walls were soundproof, but maybe the combination of a gunshot and my screaming would get someone's attention. Bella was stronger than me, I didn't know how much longer I could hold her off for. Once again she was able to point the gun towards her head and I was left with no choice. I grabbed her hand and crushed it into the floor. She was now screaming in pain and still wriggling underneath me.

"BELLA NO!" Liam had finally burst through our door, grabbing Bella in a headlock within seconds. Carlisle came in right behind him with a small syringe. "Carlisle now! Before she hurts herself even further."

"Wait, what are y-?" My question got caught in my throat when Carlisle shoved that needle into Bella's neck. "Carlisle! What did you do to her?" Bella's body went limp right away, not helping my state of mind.

"Relax Alice. It was just a sedative. She'll wake up in a few hours." Liam picked her up and placed her body carefully on the bed.

"Carlisle you may need to check her hand. It looks pretty shattered."

"Fuck that was me. I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do."

"Don't apologize Alice. You just saved her life. A broken hand is nothing compared to a bullet in the head." Liam wrapped me in a hug, comforting me with his words. Carlisle went around to tend to Bella's hand.

"I know. I know. It's just- oh god that was so scary. Fuck that was terrifying."

"Come on. I'll help you clean up. I'd make you a drink to help your nerves, but, you know."

Apparently the stray bullet shattered a few glasses, giving us something to do in the meantime. Carlisle wrapped Bella's hand up while we cleaned, and pretty soon it was like it never happened. Oh, except for the fact that she was still unconscious and I felt like shit for hurting her.

"Alice come here. I'm going to teach you how to make the perfect tea." Liam was back to his former role, distracting me.

"Isn't tea just water and tea leaves?"

"Ah. And that is why you fail young grasshopper. It is so much more." Despite my mood, I cracked a smile.

"Are you quite done now?"

"Almost. Now watch carefully." As it turns out, the secret to tea is honey and whiskey. We finished just in time for Bella to wake up. Liam left quietly to give us some space while Bella sat up, completely confused.

"Ow! Fuck. What the hell happened?"

"Well first, here's some tea. How's your hand?" Bella took the mug with her uninjured hand and continued to scan the room confusedly.

"Uh, it kinda feels like it's broken. Alice what happened?" I swallowed hard and decided to just rip the metaphorical band aid.

"You had a really bad nightmare Bells. I was able to wake you up, but you were in this kind of trance and-and you kind of tried to shoot yourself." My voice had turned into a small squeak at this point.

"Fuck. Fuck! Fuck Alice I'm so sorry."

"Well I'm the one who's sorry. I broke your hand. It's just, you were struggling and I didn't know what else to do."

"Fuck Alice!" I cringed away, fearing that she was mad at me for what I did. "I knew this would happen! This is why I didn't want to sleep!" She stood up and started pacing our room angrily. Normally I would have let her go, not wanting to make things worse, but it had been a long night.

"Bella stop being fucking stupid! You have to sleep!" I stood up to face her, although she towered over me quite intimidatingly. "You're being an idiot!"

"What?" She looked pretty pissed right now and I was about to say mercy and drop it, but I had a sudden idea.

"Ok. Remember when I refused to hunt all those months ago? And I told you I could handle it on my own? What did you do?"

"I went hunting with you and it was a shit show, much like this." I rolled my eyes and scoffed at her comment.

"Don't be an ass." She sighed and seemed to soften a bit.

"Sorry."

"It's alright. Now, remember that feeling you got when I was starving myself out of fear?"

"Yes." She grumbled, knowing exactly where I was going with this.

"That's exactly how I feel about you not sleeping. Yes, tonight was scary as hell and kind of a disaster, but it's always going to get worse before it gets better. That was only your first try at sleeping again, it was bound to not turn out well. I promise you it will get easier."

"You're right." She sighed and I pulled her into my arms, rubbing her back softly. "I'm sorry Al. It's- it's all been really, really tough."

"I know. But you don't need to pretend like everything is ok for me, alright? I want you to tell me what's bothering you, what's not working. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah. Yeah I think I can. Thank you Alice." I gave her a small kiss and led her back to bed.

"Good. Now, sleep?"

"Yeah, alright."

"Thank you." I helped her get settled in, cradling her broken hand with my cool one. "What time do you want me to wake you for your run?"

"Actually, can we spend tomorrow just talking? We haven't really talked the big stuff yet."

"Are you sure? I mean, we could make it apart of the schedule…"

"Fuck the schedule. I'm tired of feeling like a patient." Unfortunately her remark sent me into a fit of giggles. "What? That wasn't really a joke Alice. What's so funny?" I quickly ceased my laughter and put my serious face on.

"Nothing, I'm sorry. You just reminded me of my stubborn beautiful wife that I married so long ago." She grinned at me and scooted over for another kiss.

"I love you." It was the first time she said it since. My heart felt like exploding with joy.

"I love you too."

* * *

 **A/N: Bella's POV will be returning next chapter! I decided against it during the non humanity part since she wasn't really supposed to have sense or rational thinking. And then it would just be depressed as hell these past chapters, but now it is returning. I kinda missed writing for her.  
**


	16. Awkward Body Games

_So her fingers ran away with themselves_

 _'Till everything was documented_

 _Her mind it was reaching out_

 _To put into words what their bodies had done_

 _They lie together, oh_

 _Oil on water_

 _And they lie upon her, oh_

 _Someone's daughter_

* * *

 **Chapter 16:** **Awkward Body Games**

 **Bella POV:**

"Just breathe. Focus on me. Just like that. You're doing great." Alice's soothing words washed over, calming my breathing with each second.

"Thank you." I huffed, still slightly out of breath. What got us in this situation? My pathetic ass of course.

Alice had woken me up and she looked absolutely gorgeous, so much so that I had to tell her. She smiled and giggled and I suddenly had this need to kiss her. And not the small kisses we'd been sharing over the past few days, I wanted more. While Alice was initially shocked by the force I was using, she replied full heartedly, tugging sensually on my hair. Just as I began to feel a heat make its way to my lower abdomen, and I trailed my kisses down Alice's neck, my fucked up brain decided to give me a small panic attack and relive some colorful memories.

"Are you good?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good now. Sorry about that."

"It was no problem. But, I thought we were taking things slow. What was that about?" My face flushed at her question.

"I know. Um, it's just you looked really beautiful and… um, sorry about that." Alice smiled and kissed my red cheeks.

"Well as romantic as that was, let's try to keep things leisurely. And we should talk to Rosalie later today."

"Ok. Fair enough. Maybe you should wear like some sweats in the meantime."

"Excuse me? I have and never will wear sweats as long as I live." I laughed at her and got out of bed.

"Ah, of course. How dare I suggest the great Alice Cullen soil her perfect wardrobe reputation." She giggled and got up as well to get dressed.

"That's Mrs. Swan to you my dear." Alice winked and swayed her hips all the way to the expansive closet. I groaned and averted my eyes to the ceiling. This was going to be tough.

Alice actually chose an outfit for the day that didn't make me drool and I was very grateful. After a quick breakfast we were on our way to meet Rosalie. I was not looking forward to this conversation, but after this morning it was definitely a must. I was thrown into a hug the second I walked into the Cullen home. Esme of course.

"Esme." Alice warned her lightly from the side, she immediately let go. I let out a relieved sigh, I loved Esme, but the unwarned hugging made me very tense and uncomfortable as of late.

"Oh sorry Bella dear, I just wasn't expecting to see you so soon this morning."

"That's alright Esme, Alice and I were stopping by to see Rose." Almost right on cue, Rosalie came into the room at the end of my sentence.

"Hey Alice, Bella. I'm ready for you, so whenever you are." And with that, she turned on her heel and went back up to her room. I swallowed hard, my mouth was suddenly dry. Esme gave me a sympathetic look, obviously everyone knew what this meeting was about. Alice reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze before leading me to Rose's room. But she stopped me right outside the door.

"Bella, if you get even the teensiest bit uncomfortable, please let me know right away and we'll leave. I don't want to do anything to upset you."

"Thank you Alice, but I'm not bailing on this. It will be uncomfortable, that's inevitable, but it's needed." I opened the door to reveal a poised Rosalie sitting on her bed waiting for us. Ah crap. I'm already regretting this decision. Once Alice and I were seated, Rose finally spoke.

"First of all I want to thank you for coming to see me, I know it isn't easy." She addressed me first and I nodded in response. The less I had to talk, the better. Satisfied with my nod, she continued. "Now, have you two tried anything since coming back?"

"Not really no. It's been really tame, until this morning I guess. We were kissing and it turned heated pretty fast, but then Bella had a slight panic attack and we stopped right away. That's been the only incident so far." Alice my savior did her duty of the talking, reason 522 why I love her. Rosalie stared at me while Alice talked, I felt exposed and tried to appear smaller.

"Ok. Bella, do you remember anything in particular that triggered this reaction?" Shit. She wants me to speak.

"Um, no. I don't. It was all kind of blurry."

"Maybe it was her arousal? I thought I caught a whiff of it before." My face went completely red from Alice's reveal and I ducked my head. "I'm sorry love." She whispered at the end for my benefit.

"Alright. Well firstly, it's only been a few days so don't worry or push anything, I can't stress that enough. Secondly, I want you to know that when Emmett and I first got together it took me months to be comfortable enough for us to do anything."

"Yes but Alice and I have already had sex before!" I blurted out irritably before I could stop myself. "Sorry."

"That's alright. It's perfectly normal to be angry Bella." That didn't help my mood. I involuntarily let out a growl of frustration.

"No shit." Alice moved closer and rubbed my side to calm me. Once again I was taken over by guilt from my behavior. "Fuck I'm sorry. Sorry again."

"Don't worry about it. Look, I just wanted to have a quick catch up with you and make sure you're not putting yourself in situations that will cause you issues. I would actually like to speak with Alice alone for a bit though, if that's ok with you?" While the idea of leaving Alice and Rosalie alone to talk about our sex life made me cringe, I really wanted to get out of here and stop talking about it myself.

"Yeah that's fine. I'll be downstairs playing video games with Emmett if you need me." I got up and kissed the top of Alice's head quickly before taking my exit.

Emmett was sitting on the couch as I suspected when I got downstairs and I flopped down next to him. He handed me a controller before I could even ask.

"Al still up there with Rosie?"

"Yeah." I sighed and he luckily dropped the subject. We played video games for a couple hours actually, I beat Emmett every single game of course. But I was starting to get worried about what the holdup was. What could they possibly be talking about for so long? Just as I was about to head upstairs and check, they came out and wandered slowly down towards us. "All good?" I asked tentatively, Alice's expression was hard to read.

"Yep!" She dropped her thinking face and put on a bright smile. "You ready to go? We can go for a run if you want? You haven't spent any time with me in your wolf form." She ended quietly, fluffing my hair slightly as if I were her personal pup. Not that I minded that at all.

"Sure. Sounds good." I got up and wrapped my arm around her side to lead her out. "See you later Emmett!"

"Be safe Bells!"

Alice and I went outside right away, walking slowly over to the tree I usually stripped at. She gave me my privacy as I did so, just as she did with my showering. I knew it was hard on her and I'd be sure to make it up to her sometime soon.

Once I was in wolf form I nudged her with my nose to let her know it was ok to turn around. She giggled like usual at me. For some reason she found me adorable when I was a wolf and thought everything I did was cute as hell. I rolled my eyes and nudged her again so she'd start moving.

"Alright alright I'm moving. Can you keep up?" I snorted and pawed the ground. Let's go pixie. Alice grinned and went into a full sprint right away. Besides my brief fall back in the beginning, I kept up with her neck and neck for miles. Eventually she stopped us at our favorite spot by the creek.

Alice sat down gracefully on the lush grass and I plopped my furry ass down right next to her. It's kind of hard to be graceful when you're a huge fucking wolf. Maybe this is what Alice finds so cute.

"Are you worried about something?" She looked honestly confused about my behavior. I scrunched up my face and shook my head. Why would she think that? "Then why aren't you laying your head in my lap like usual?" I rolled my eyes and barked a laugh. Of course she was worried about that. But I ended up putting my head in her lap anyways. I really do appreciate it when she plays with my fur and scratches my ears.

"That's my girl." She stroked my head lightly, immediately putting me into a most content mood. God I missed this.

"Are you happy now?" I nodded dumbly. She laughed and continued to pet me for a bit more.

"Do you want to know what Rosalie and I talked about?" Well that put a slight damper in my mood. I guess if we have to talk about it it's best to do it in the form that I don't have to speak in, so I reluctantly nodded my head.

"Are you sure?" I nodded again. Yes I was sure. I did want to know what Rosalie said. She sighed and laid down, moving my head to her stomach so she could continue her gentle petting.

"When we first got together, it took you weeks for you trust me and yourself until we could have sex, and then months until you were fully able to give yourself to me. Now this all happened months after your initial Volturi imprisonment. I know things are different now with my knowledge of the issues, but that doesn't make them any less sensitive or traumatic. This time, it's fresh. You haven't had the time to occupy your mind and body to come to light with it."

I kept quiet while she spoke softly to me. She had a way of making even the most horrible things sound better with just the way her voice carried. I let out a small whine when she stopped to catch her breath, Alice had begun to cry with the weight of the topic. Her crying was definitely one of my biggest hatreds in the world, there was a primal need in me to soothe whatever was causing her this pain. Unfortunately it was her feelings for me this time.

I carefully moved to nuzzle her cheek, trying not to smother her with my overly large head. My whining continued so she would know I'd be crying too if I were in human form. Once she was calm enough, Alice continued speaking, but not before I gave her a quick wolf kiss on her cheek.

"I want us to take things slow. I mean extremely slow, probably painfully so, but I really think it's best." I was split with her decision. Part of me didn't like it because I'm a very instinctive person, if I had a sudden urge I usually acted on it. It made our love life spontaneous and spicy. But the other part of me agreed with this snail pace, especially after this morning. I couldn't even kiss my wife without having a panic attack. If we took things slowly, would that make it easier? Would it ease me into things? I wasn't sure either way.

Sensing my confliction in the matter, Alice trailed her hand up and down my face, scratching my ear with each pass. "Don't think too hard love, I'm setting my foot down on this."

We continued to sit peacefully in our spot for some time, Alice had turned me into a purring domestic puppy in the few hours we spent. I probably looked pretty pathetic for a giant wolf, but I didn't care. Alice knew exactly how to make all my troubles and worries melt away until I didn't have a care in the world. Not in the non-humanity kind of way, in the good serene way.

After the sun went down, and my stomach decided to make itself heard by the whole forest, Alice and I made our way back home, walking deliberately unhurried. Alice had a good laugh when I clumsily walked straight into a tree. In my defense, I had been staring at her and not my own feet. Her beauty never ceased to amaze me. She was perfect in every single way, down to every tiny feature.

Usually I consider myself the unluckiest person alive considering everything that has happened to me. The amount of shit that has been thrown at and on me is utterly ridiculous. But then I remember Alice. I remember how much she loves me and how lucky I am to even be able to love her, especially after all I've put her through. So I think I may just be the luckiest person alive to have such a perfect being by my side.

And this was the thought process that landed me face first into a tree. Luck be fucked.

Once I was changed back and fully dressed, Alice took my hand as we strolled towards the smells of Esme's wonderful cooking.

"Bella you missed lunch sweetie so you're making up for it with a big dinner. No complaints." My mother in law called the second I walked through her doorway. I smiled and sat down in front of the massive pile of mouthwatering food.

"Yes ma'am. You won't hear me complaining anytime in the near future." Alice sat down next to me and continued to hold my free hand while I ate. I've come accustomed to this meal time practice, so I'm pretty much a pro at eating anything with one hand.

The whole meal and Esme fussing over me took almost an hour, and then I spent the next few hanging with Emmett and Jasper, each wanting to play different games with me.

I was fully aware that everyone was walking on eggshells around me. It bothered me a lot actually, but I didn't know how to bring it up or mend the situation. So I was just doing my best to act like nothing had changed with the family. Maybe they would eventually just go back to normal with me.

Alice took me home after I released an involuntary yawn, scolding her brothers for keeping me up so late. She shooed me into the shower once we got home, but I paused in the doorframe of the bathroom, thinking.

"Alice?"

"Hmmm?" She looked up at me while pulling the covers on the bed back so she could settle in.

"Um, I know you want to take things slow, which I'm fine with, but I feel like you deserve something for being so patient and amazing."

"Bella, I'm not hopping in that shower with you. That's much too fast."

"What? Oh no, not that. Um, I know it's been killing you lately, so… would you like to cut my hair tonight?"

"YES! Oh yes yes! Thank you Bella, thank you!" I grinned at this expected reaction. Yes I had noticed her small grimaces every time I ran a comb through my unkempt hair, even when she tried to hide them. And yes I knew it looked horrible. I just didn't have the energy or time to do anything about it. Even the texture was all kinds of fucked up without Alice's perfect way of washing and conditioning it. I was a simple person, and spending extra time in the shower just to care for my hair was not my thing. "Ok I'll go get the hair clippers. And you, please make sure you condition. Not that cheapo stuff you've been using Bella, the nice bottle I got you. And make sure you really get in there…." I tuned the rest of her excited babble out, just content to see her smiling to happily.

"Whatever you want love." I went into the bathroom and turned on the water to a temperature of my liking, getting in once it was perfect. Steam and water easing my muscles that always seem to be on edge.

If I could get Alice to smile that enthusiastically at least once a day, I would consider myself a happy person. Even if it involved her taking a razor to my neck.


	17. Sticks and Stones

_Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions_

 _I keep my visions to myself_

 _It's only me, who wants to wrap around your dreams_

 _Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?_

 _Dreams of loneliness,_

 _Like a heartbeat, drives you mad_

 _In the stillness of remembering, what you had,_

 _And what you lost and what you had and what you lost_

* * *

 **Chapter 17:** **Sticks and Stones**

 **Bella POV:**

"What did I say about conditioning?" Alice was furiously running her hands through my hair, unsurprisingly complaining.

"I did! I used that fancy shit you got!"

"Yes but you didn't use it right. I swear, you're quite helpless sometimes."

"You drive me insane." I mumbled while she worked diligently.

"That's my job as your wife. Now, keep still." After about thirty minutes, Alice seemed satisfied with her work and let me go change while she cleaned up.

"Feel better?"

"Much. Thank you." Without warning, I pulled her into my lap and claimed her mouth with mine, swiping my tongue along her bottom lip until she allowed me in. The kiss continued on for several long and heated minutes, until I pressed her hips down further into me. "Bella… No." Almost as quickly as it started, Alice pushed off of me and left me flustered and alone.

"Alice…." I whined pathetically, she ruined my fun.

"No. I told you slow. You can't just grab and kiss me like that. It'll make things worse for you."

"I don't care."

"Well I do!" She stomped around the room in a fit of age. "God, you're so fucking frustrating sometimes! And I love you, but you're driving me up the wall!"

"Woah hey! Shhhh. I was only joking." I caught her mid stomp and hugged her tightly, not letting up until I heard a small sigh of relief from her. "Besides, isn't that my job as your wife?" There was a tiny tinkling giggle at my joke before she playfully shoved me away.

"Shut up. Get in bed."

"You're the boss lady."

* * *

"Can I get you anymore painkillers? More ice?"

"No I'm good. It feels better with your hand rather than the ice though. Ice melts." Alice chuckled and made her way back from the kitchen to our bed.

I had thrashed around a little too violently from a nightmare and ended up giving myself a black eye when I head butted the side table. Really it was more embarrassing than anything else, but Alice went into full nurse mode taking care of the small cut of the side of my eye it caused as well.

The part about her hand feeling better was true. Unfortunately my extreme body heat pretty much turned ice into liquid in record fast time, leaving me with useless water everywhere. Alice's hands were the perfect temperature and never left me with that problem. Plus there was the added benefit of her caressing my face gently every once in a while. Maybe I am a pampered domestic house dog….

"Are you sure you don't want me to call Carlisle? What if it needs stitches?" My little worry wart returned to me and cupped the side of my face in her hand, instantly relieving any pain I might have had.

"Alice if I need stitches for this tiny little cut, please divorce me and find a person worthy of your love." She dazzled me with a smile and kissed my nose.

"I would never."

"Besides, it's already bad enough that everyone's going to see this shiner tomorrow morning. I don't need any more embarrassment for the day." Alice giggled again, then her face took a somber turn.

"I'm sorry love. I was about to wake you, but you got away from me. I'm sorry I let you get hurt, I'm not doing my job."

"Ugh. Please stop talking about me like I'm a full time job. It makes me feel worse." I know she didn't mean it that way, but it still made me feel idiotic and useless.

"You're right. I'm sorry again." She moved her head down to rest on my chest while still keeping her hand in place on my injury. "You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and it's a privilege just to spend time with you."

"Well, there's no need to be sappy." I yawned at the end of my sentence which prompted Alice to snuggle even further into me.

"Go back to sleep love. I promise to keep the rest of your face intact tonight." I grunted, not having the energy to laugh for real, and faded back to sleep holding my favorite vampire pillow.

* * *

"Jesus Bella. If Alice hit you I'll beat her ass, you know I will."

"Thanks for the offer Rose, but this was a wound of my own stupidity. Besides, it makes me look sexy. No?" Alice laughed and wrapped around my side as we walked into the Cullen home. Of course my face had been the first thing anyone noticed.

"Yes. You're positively dashing my dear." She looked up at me with nothing but pure love and adoration in her eyes. I swelled.

"Ewwwwww!" Emmett my tormenter appeared with a huge grin on his face. Shit. "Woah Bells. You gotta stop walking into trees little sis."

"Alice!" I cried out in betrayal.

"Rose!" She yelled at her and immediately went to apologize to me. "I only told Rosalie in passing yesterday. I didn't know she'd tell him! And joke's on you Emmett, this was not caused by the tree. It was a table."

"Oh my god. Alice stop talking." She looked completely horrified at what she'd done as I dragged her away before any more damage could be done. Rosalie and Emmett were in fits of laughter.

"I'm so sorry. That was… um I'm just sorry."

"It's alright. But you gotta know when to stop talking babe."

"I know. It's my weakness. I babble, I'm a babbler."

" _No way_. I had _no_ idea."

"Oh stop being a pain. Come on, Carlisle awaits." She smiled and I groaned at the upcoming session with my most persistent doctor.

Today was blood day.

Ever since my switch to a human food diet, they've kept me away from any human interaction. Luckily my family consisted of a bunch of vampires and a shifter. But I missed Zoey, and they won't let me work again until I'm in complete control. Which is understandable, but it still sucks.

So today Carlisle was going to test me with blood bags, eventually making our way up to a real living breathing human. I hoped the training wouldn't last too long, but I knew my thirst was not in check.

"Good afternoon you two. Oh Bella, what happened to your eye?" Ugh.

"Hey Carlisle. It was nothing. Bella just had a small fight with the bedside table and lost." I glared at Alice as she spoke, but she shrugged. "Well how else would you word it?" I rolled my eyes and ignored the question. Carlisle got the point anyways, and he luckily didn't continue with the inquiry.

"Alright then, moving on. So Bella, you know what we'll be doing today correct?" I quietly nodded my confirmation. "Good. I'm going to show you a blood bag, and depending on your initial reaction, I may advance to opening it and watch your reaction." My mouth was already watering at the thought and I forced myself to swallow it down. Focus. "Alice and I will be ready to grab you in case you lose control. And I have plenty of sedatives if worse comes to light, but I really don't think we'll be needing them. I won't continue any observations unless I feel you're fully in control."

"Ok. Sounds good. I mean not good, but, you know what I mean." He smiled kindly and motioned for Alice to step slightly away from me.

"Ready?" He looked to both of us. Alice responded verbally, but I merely nodded again. I didn't particularly trust my mouth being open right now.

Carlisle carefully leaned down and reached inside a cooler, pulling out the bag whilst keeping his eyes locked on mine. Immediately I knew they went black. My body was in control still however, and I didn't move an inch. The bag was practically staring at me, begging to be drained. I had to swallow numerous times to prevent me from drooling like a dog. Several minutes went by before I realized someone was trying to talk to me.

"Bella? Bella? Can you hear me?" Finally Alice's voice reached my ears. I didn't have the will to look away from the blood and meet her eyes, but I nodded for her. "Ok good. You're doing great. Do you think you could look at either Carlisle or I?" I shook my head. My control was now wavering pretty thin, my heart was pounding in my ears, wishing it was a real human's heart I could hear right now.

Almost right before I snapped, Carlisle put the bag back in the cooler just as slowly as he got it out, careful not to trigger an attack from me. The second the blood was gone I took a deep breath, clearing my head instantly.

"Sorry." I mumbled shyly, that was a failure.

"Don't be love. You did really well."

"Alice is right Bella. You kept control. Now, take a few minutes to recuperate and we'll go again." I groaned and Alice went back to me for the few minutes we had. She ran her hands all over my side and back, trying to loosen any muscles that had gone stiff in the experiment. All too soon, Carlisle was calling us to get ready again.

I knew a little more of what to expect this time, I think my eyes maybe didn't go as dark. Time ticked by as I stared at the bag, drawing my breaths in quick short bursts.

"Do you want to try looking at Alice?" I clenched my teeth at Carlisle's question, but decided to give it a try. Snapping my head up sharply to where she stood, it was easier if it was done fast, no time to debate in my mind. Alice gasped in surprise from my sudden movement, but smiled sweetly at me.

All my thirst melted away. Things like blood and feeding didn't matter, not when I was staring at the most beautiful woman in the world. Forgetting my surroundings, I rushed to her front and pressed my body into hers, kissing her hungrily. Maybe that's where my thirst went. A flash of fear crossed her face when I lunged at her, but she moaned quite pleasantly into my mouth when I had her. My hunger deepened when I caught the musk of a familiar smell. My mate's arousal. Sadly she started pushing me away, fruitlessly though. I was now in a vampire frenzy just for her. Her mouth, her taste.

Someone pulled me from behind and I growled at the intruder. How dare they interrupt my moment? The combined pushing from Alice and pulling from the stranger eventually pulled me away from her. Now I was pissed.

"BELLA NO!" A voice I recognized rang through my ears. It was gentle and formal, but obviously strained and worried at the moment. I knew that voice. Carlisle.

"Oh fuck. Fuck I am so sorry. Alice are you alright?" My poor wife was still pressed against the wall, biting her lip, multiple emotions all over her face. Fear, annoyance, anger, arousal, and a lot of embarrassment. I'd have been mortified as well if I wasn't so worried about her. I almost just fucked her in front of her father. And I'm sure Carlisle sensed what she was feeling below the belt.

"Y-yeah. I-I'm fine." She finally breathed out, stepping away from the wall and shaking.

"Ok. Well that was interesting." Alice and I both let out nervous laughs with Carlisle's obvious statement. "It seems as though with Alice's presence, your thirst for blood disappears, but it is replaced with something almost as uncontrollable." He motioned for the both of us to sit.

"Yeah. You could say that." I said while still eyeing Alice worriedly. I hoped she wasn't afraid of me. Almost as if reading me mind, she took my hand and kissed it.

"Really, I'm all good now Bella. I was just jittery earlier from the situation." Relief washed over me with her words.

"I'm quite torn now." Carlisle started, interrupting our moment and staring at the two of us. "While Alice's presence helped you, I'm not sure it's the best remedy. How would you feel about Rosalie taking her place instead?"

"Carlisle!" Alice immediately protested, but I squeezed her hand to stop her.

"Alice baby, it may be a good idea. I mean, do you really want to repeat that?" The dirty part of me wanted to grin and have her say 'hell yeah', but the more rational part, the part I really hated sometimes, knew her answer would and should be a no.

"Argh no. But I don't want to leave you. I promised to stay by your side through this."

"I know, but sometimes things need to change in order for the best." She looked upset but sighed and got up to leave the room, kissing my head on the way out.

Rosalie entered the room about a minute later and Carlisle filled her in on everything Alice hadn't. I sat patiently until they were ready for me, wishing this session was over already.

"Ok. Stand up Bells, game time." Rosalie appeared to be readying herself to fight me, that didn't help my state of mind. Carlisle glanced at me briefly before taking out that stupid fucking bag again.

I will admit in his defense, with each time he brought it out, I did seem to be slightly better at my control. It took me less time to chance a look up at Rosalie. While Alice's company turned me on, Rosalie's scared the shit out of me. She was staring me down like a hawk, but my thirst was definitely still there.

"You're doing amazing Bella. Now this next step will probably be the hardest. I want you to take a deep breath in with your mouth." Had Carlisle lost his fucking mind? I turned my gaze to him and gave him my most pleading look in response. But he just stood there waiting.

So if I took the breath, I'd most likely lose all control I had left and try to get the blood. But once that was over, I'd be done for the day. And if I continued to stand here and not chance it, I'd be here for perhaps hours. This was not a pleasant decision.

Throwing all caution to the wind, I opened my mouth and took a deep breath. Well, half breath. Once I got the small taste in my mouth, it was over.

Rosalie tackled me in an instant, throwing us both into one of the chairs. Carlisle hastily put the bag away and went to help with the struggle. After a minute or so of fighting, the air had cleared and so had my mind. But I now had a searing pain in my side.

"Ow. Fuck Rose. Did you have to tackle me so hard?"

"Would you rather have fallen off the blood wagon?" She too seemed to be sore, now I felt sorta bad.

"No. Sorry. Are you alright?"

"It's all good. I knew what I was signing up for when I went in here." Carlisle went over to get some medical supplies while Rosalie got up gingerly.

"Rosalie you should probably go hunt." She nodded and went to leave. "Oh, could you send in Alice on your way out?"

"God she's going to kill me for hurting her precious baby."

"Hey!" I called defensively as she closed the door. I was _not_ a baby.

Alice was apparently waiting right near the door and came in seconds later, rushing to my side and fussing over me.

"What happened? Why is the chair broken? Are you hurt? Carlisle is she hurt?" He chuckled at her overprotectiveness and went back to examining me.

"I pushed her over the edge, right where I was expecting. But she recovered quite well. And Rosalie doesn't have the best aim when tackling people into furniture." Alice growled darkly and I rubbed her hip.

"She needed to Al. If she hadn't stopped me I would have gotten to it."

"Still. I don't like you getting hurt."

"Hey. At least she didn't get my good eye right?" Only Carlisle laughed at my joke, Alice merely smiled tightly. "Well, what's the damage Carlisle?" I asked as he got up.

"Four broken ribs and broken clavicle. Only two need to be reset and they all should heal by tomorrow. I'll go get some pain medication." Alice went back to running her hands over my injuries, muttering irritably about them. Carlisle came back and handed me a glass of water with some pills which I took happily. Not that I would admit in front of my overly worried wife, but I was in a considerable amount of pain.

The resetting was fast and predictably painful, and Alice was still wound up when we got back to our place. I slumped onto the bed right away. It had been a long and mentally taxing session, I could use a good nap.

"I'm sorry about earlier today. I probably looked pretty scary." I carefully propped myself up to talk to Alice who had just laid down next to me.

"Kinda. But it was more of a smoldering."

"Smoldering? Hmmm… I don't think you've ever called me that, I like it." She chuckled and kissed my ear.

"You do like to make things difficult for me don't you?"

"It's in my nature." I stifled another yawn and curled into her body to soothe my aching side.

"Go to sleep love, you need it. I'll wake you in a few hours."

* * *

 **A/N: FYI: _Rumours_ is probably one of the greatest albums of all time. I just had to say that. Anyways, I figured you needed a few lighter chapters after everything I've put you through and (sorry) will put you through. A big huge thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed, and reviewed!  
**


	18. Careless Mistakes

_Keep looking for distraction_

 _Tonight we live in fiction_

 _In your arms I hide away_

 _Two bodies in the darkness_

 _Not hard to find a weakness_

 _Keep the morning light at bay_

 _As the world falls down around us_

 _Give me something to remember_

 _I am holding on_

 _In the back of my mind for dear life, dear life_

* * *

 **Chapter 18:** **Careless Mistakes**

 **Alice POV:**

The rest of the week went by at an agonizing pace. I still wasn't allowed in the room with Bella during the blood tests and Rosalie sucked at not hurting her. Of course Carlisle wasn't helping by continuing to push each session until Bella cracked. However, he did say she was getting better and he would allow me back in soon.

My poor exhausted wife was not having a good time. Each time she returned home from another lesson, she was more tired than the last. And I really hated the fact that I couldn't give her a relaxing massage because it would just end up turning us both on.

"How'd my little wolf fair today?" I asked, walking into Carlisle's study after Rosalie left. Bella was on the ground and Carlisle appeared to be rubbing bleach over a spot on the floor.

"She did really well Alice. I opened the bag today and she held control for almost five minutes before going after it."

"What's up with the bleach?" I wrinkled my nose at the strong odor, it was not pleasant.

"Oh, I accidentally dropped the bag momentarily when helping with Rosalie." I nodded and carefully helped Bella to her feet, she was holding her left arm up to her chest. Carlisle finished cleaning and did a quick check up on Bella. "Broken wrist and arm. Clean breaks, I'll wrap them up." I moaned and hugged her uninjured side.

"Is there any way we can do these sessions without having her bones breaking? I feel like we're torturing her Volturi style." Bella winced and I immediately regretted my wording. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"She's getting better Alice. As for the bone breaking, I am truly sorry about that."

"It's alright Carlisle. It has a cause." Bella put it nicely, but I knew she was in more pain than she let on.

"But I do have good news Alice." Carlisle looked up at me while wrapping her arm. "I think she's ready for you to come back in the room with us."

"Really?!"

"Ow!" Apparently I got so excited that I squeezed Bella's hand too tight.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry Bella! Crap I'm the worst!" Carlisle went to assess her new injury as I continued to apologize.

"Two broken knuckles. Just ice it." He left to get pain medication and I gently rubbed her hand.

"Guess I can't yell at Rosalie too much." Bella chuckled and kissed my nose.

"But to answer your previous question Alice, yes. We can try with you here tomorrow."

"That's really good news Carlisle. Thank you."

"Don't thank me. It's Bella that's been putting in the extra effort." He smiled and walked out, holding the door for us. I linked my arm with Bella's, since now I couldn't hold either of her hands.

"I love you so much." I whispered to her while we walked back home. She grinned and kissed the top of my head.

"I love you too."

* * *

The next day I was bouncing with excitement. Bella was still slightly sore but pretty much healed, she looked a mixture of happy and nervous about today. I wore my least sexy outfit just in case there was an incident.

"Alright Bella, are you ready?" Carlisle asked as we got in position. Bella briefly glanced at me before nodding to him. "Alice?"

"Yes."

"Ok." He leaned down and brought out a fresh blood bag, Bella's muscles went rigid in an instant. I watched her eyes bore into the bag, darkening gradually with each passing second. After about a minute of this I decided to try my luck with calling her to look at me.

"Bella love, can you hear me?" One curt head nod. "Alright good. Can you try to look at me?" Once again she went with the sharp head snap and it still startled me as much as the first time. Her eyes went back to a darker gray and she didn't attack me, Carlisle cracked a small grin.

"How do you feel right now?"

"The thirst is still there, but it's tolerable." She responded with a tight voice.

"That's great Bella. Ok, I'm going to open the bag now." We kept our eye contact as Carlisle opened the bag, filling the room with the intoxicating smell. Even I could feel some thirst with this. But Bella kept still. Her eyes darkened once again, but she kept her focus on me. "Fantastic Bella. Now, final task of this session, take deep breaths until you feel your control is almost gone. Once you think you can't hold out any longer, just give me a quick word and I'll put it away. Knowing your limits is an important step."

"Carlisle." I protested. The physical toll that would take hurt me to think about. It would be like swallowing razor blades with each breath, and I didn't want that for her.

"It's alright Alice." Bella whispered, her nostrils flaring before taking the deep breaths. I grimaced watching her do this, the pain was evident on her face.

This went on for several minutes, each breath getting more ragged than the last. Her eyes were now a pitch black and I saw her muscles rippling under the strain.

"Carlisle please."

"Not until she says so Alice." I whined, this was torture.

"Put it away." Bella finally gasped after several more agonizing minutes. Carlisle sealed and threw the bag back in the cooler right away. I went over and to envelope Bella in a hug, but she stopped me with a hand outstretched. "Give me a few seconds." Unwillingly I complied, I didn't like not being able to hug my own wife. "Sorry." She whispered before pulling me into her arms. Her muscles were still tight and she was breathing rather heavily, she inhaled my scent deeply, probably trying to wash the blood smell away.

"You did really well today Bella, I'm impressed." Carlisle went back to his desk and started taking notes. "I think once you get to fifteen minutes with the bag open we can try a real human in the room."

"Fifteen minutes?!" I cried out, that was just not fair.

"It's better safe than sorry Al. I don't want to hurt anyone." Bella whispered into my hair gently. "Come on. I'll see you tomorrow Carlisle." She tugged me out and Carlisle gave a small wave before getting back to his work.

"How did it go?" Rosalie questioned once we entered the living room, she was cuddled up on the couch with Emmett while he played video games.

"Great. No problems." I responded a little annoyed, I was still angry about all the injuries.

"That's good. Em and I were about to watch a movie if you wanted to join?"

"Um, no thanks. Bella usually crashes right after these sessions." I turned to look at her for confirmation. As expected, Bella looked dead on her feet, ready to drop.

"Alright. Well, we'll catch you later?" She seemed to be sorry and I never see her look so vulnerable, so of course I nodded.

"Yeah." I smiled, letting her know we were ok. Turning my attention back to my disheveled mate, I took her hand and started to lead her out.

The sound came before the smell. For one fleeting second I thought it would be Liam, checking up on us. But my hopes were dashed as soon as it entered the house, unsuspecting. A human heart.

"Is Dr. Cullen here? I'm here to check on the progress of-" Whatever the human was about to say was cut off in fear. Bella had completely lost it and lunged.

"BELLA DON'T!" I jumped right after her, along with Emmett and Rose. Somehow Emmett got a hand on her and started dragging her back. The rest of us scrambled to help. "GET OUT OF HERE!" I yelled at the human man who looked about ready to piss his pants. Luckily he still had the ability to move and sprinted from the house. Bella was still growling and fighting against the hold Emmett had on her.

"Alice go get Carlisle! I don't want to hurt her!" He yelled at me while Rosalie joined him. Jasper came running out of his room as I ran towards my father's office, probably to help my siblings.

"Carlisle!" I gasped as soon as I entered his office. He looked up, concerned about my lack of explanation. "Bella - human came in - lost it – big fight!" Apparently I had lost the ability to speak properly, but he got the gist of it and grabbed something out of his desk drawer before running out.

We came back just in the nick of time, Emmett's grip on Bella's neck almost sent me into a frenzy myself, but Jasper stepped in. He sent a powerful wave of calmness at me while still maintaining his hold on Bella's legs. Carlisle hurried around towards Emmett to sedate her.

"Keep her still Emmett!"

"I'm trying!" He really did seem to be putting a lot of effort into making sure her neck didn't snap. Desperate moves needed to be made so I jumped on her chest and grabbed her face.

"Bella look at me! Calm down! You don't want to hurt anyone remember? Just relax. Look at me." Somehow this worked. Her eyes melted back to a light gray and I felt her stop struggling. Everyone around all let out a collective breath.

Emmett pulled his hand away from her neck right away and Jasper got up from her legs, Rosalie was nursing a cracked arm. Carlisle put the sedative back in his pocket and patted Bella's head, his nerves fried.

"We're fine, right?" He asked, trying to asses with me still sitting on her chest. I was too afraid to get off it. "Alice?" I whined and looked back down to Bella, I didn't want her to be upset with herself but I knew she would be.

"Ok." I mumbled reluctantly, removing myself from her body, but keeping close.

"Thank you. Just keep staying still Bella." After a quick look over, and a few pokes and prods, he left for his office and returned with his medical bag.

"Is she ok?" Emmett questioned from his spot next to Rose, he looked pretty shaken up.

"She will be." Emmett's face went into an immediate grimace. "Don't worry, nothing too bad. Some broken ribs, shoulder, and ankle. Only the ankle needs to be reset. Here Bella, take these." He handed her some pills and Jasper rushed to get a glass of water.

"No. I'm fine." She whispered, avoiding my eyes. Dammit, I knew this would happen. Why does she always punish herself?

"Bella please take the pills. What happened was not your fault. We told everyone the schedule on when humans can come here. This guy obviously screwed up, and he's the one at fault. Plus, no one even got hurt. Well, besides you. And Rose a little." My speech kind of lost power at the end, but I stood by the words. Emmett was nodding furiously along with me, but Bella was still not moving.

"I almost killed him Alice. Because he made the mistake of walking into someone's home. How does that not sound bad to you?"

"BELLA JUST TAKE THE FUCKING PILLS!" The room was thrown into a ringing silence after Rosalie's loud outburst. But it did get Bella to hurriedly gulp down the pain medication.

"Rosalie." Carlisle started to scold her, but apparently she was not having it today.

"No Carlisle! Fucking no! I'm tired of her hurting herself when something happens that's out of her hands! She's not just hurting herself, she's hurting everyone who cares about her!" And with that, she stormed out of the house, slamming the front door shut.

"Well shit." Emmett whispered after a few moments of awkward silence. "I'm going to go take care of that…" He left as well, gently closing the door behind him.

"Come on. I'll reset that ankle." Carlisle moved around and carefully snapped it back into place. He gave her a fatherly pat on the head again before helping her up, and I assisted her with the walk back. She was still silent and it was worrying the hell out of me.

Bella got in the shower without a word to me and followed with her bed time routine. Just before I was about to confront her about it, she sat down on the bed and called for me softly.

"Alice?" She was staring at me with misty eyes, so I knew I should sit with her for this.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" I asked, taking her hand in mine.

"For hurting you. Rosalie's right. I always punish myself without thinking about how it affects others. How it affects you."

"Thank you Bella." She nodded and turned away from me, but I grabbed her face with my free hand and pulled it back. "Just stop hurting yourself for things you have no control over. That's no way to live your life."

"I know. I'm sorry." I hugged her tightly, resting my head in the crook of her neck. After a few minutes I pulled away and wiped her eyes gently.

"Do you think we say sorry too much?" Bella laughed and nodded.

"Yeah I think we do. Probably not the best." I smiled and kissed her, glad to break the tension.

"Well, we're young. Gotta work out the kinks."

" _I'm_ young. I'm not too sure about you."

"Shut up!" I giggled and pushed her back on the bed. She chuckled and pulled me onto her lap, so I was straddling her waist.

The past week our physical relationship drew the line firmly at making out. Bella of course would always push, and I would inevitably pull the plug on the moment. I swear to god this woman had no sense of self preservation. Actually, I already knew that.

She leaned up and kissed me tenderly, it was the start of something hotter, I just knew it. Carefully, she slipped her tongue into my mouth, making me dizzy with her taste. Why must she do this to me? I moaned loudly when she dug her nails into my thighs, god she was making me crazy.

Bella moved her lips down my neck, leaving open mouth kisses along her trail. My brain was in the middle of a heated battle. I mean, she seems to be doing perfectly fine right now, more than fine to be honest. But I know that could change in an instant and I'd only have myself to blame. My mind went completely blank however, when I felt her hips move slightly underneath me.

"Oh fuck." I gasped out uncontrollably, tugging on her hair while I heard a distinct snicker. I growled and rolled my hips right into hers, eliciting a gasp from her. "Not so funny now is it?" Bella growled as well, capturing my lips again.

Her hands were now making their way upwards, so slowly. Now I finally understand her frustration with my pace lately. The anticipation was making me need it more, my arousal growing exponentially. I was debating on whether or not to just move her hands myself when they finally reached the hem of my shirt, grazing my skin.

All of a sudden her muscles clamped up and a strangled sound came out of her. If I didn't know better, I would have said she embarrassingly came without any sexual sensations, but unfortunately I did. I grabbed her neck while she shook violently, cooing in her ear calmly.

I fucking knew this would happen. And still it's only myself to blame.

Her panic attack ended a while later, but I stayed in her lap to give her the comfort. She leaned her head on my chest, her breathing still recovering.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." She whispered, still pretty shaken. "Yeah. I'm sorry about that. That was my fault."

"There we are with that sorry again." Her body shook underneath me with a small laugh. "And when did we go back in time to the beginning of our relationship? How many more times do I have to say it was my fault too?"

"At least once more." I rolled my eyes and slid off her lap to her side, pulling her down to lay next to me.

"Why did I marry such a chivalrous woman?"

"Because I won your heart over. Battling all other adversaries away." I giggled even more and snuggled her.

"What adversaries? Last time I checked I was single as hell when you won me over. You're the one who had all the suitors."

"Ahhhh. That's right. I remember now." I heard the sleep in her voice and started to hum.

"Go to sleep my knight."


	19. The Mind is a Strange Place

**A/N: So it's 4am and I'm writing. Guess you could say this chapter is named after the state of my mind right now. Oh lordy. Anyways, beginning of the chapter is rated M, kinda. You'll see. Thank you all dearly my loves.  
**

* * *

 _For you, there'll be no more crying._

 _For you, the sun will be shining._

 _And I feel that when I'm with you,_

 _It's alright, I know it's right._

 _To you, I'll give the world._

 _To you, I'll never be cold._

 _'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,_

 _It's alright, I know it's right._

 _And the songbirds are singing, like they know the score._

 _And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before._

* * *

 **Chapter 19:** **The Mind is a Strange Place**

 **Bella POV:**

 **One Month Later**

"Mmmmmm… I missed this."

"Yeah, me too." Alice repositioned herself in my lap, her hair was now tickling my chin.

We had finally gotten around to a little more intimacy involving our bathing routines. In other words, Alice got fed up with my lacking hair care and decided it was just time to do it herself. So after the first several awkward showers, she got my hair and body back to its old wonderful smell. Eventually I was able to convince her to take a bath with me, secretly because I was trying to get further in our current sex life and baths always seemed to get her touchy feely. The woman wouldn't let me get past second base, and if somehow I was able to sneak my way further, my fucking mind would betray me and cause a scene. My life is a living hell.

"I know what you're trying to do you know."

"What do you mean?" I asked in my most innocent voice. Her body vibrated in a small chuckle and she caressed my hand.

"You're so obvious. Every time you try to get in my pants you have this look in your eye. You do know we're married right?"

"So then why did you agree to this?"

"Because I love you. And it has been a very long time, so I figured a bath might relax you." Her words took their own sweet time sinking into my brain, and I almost choked when their meaning finally hit me.

"Wait, do you mean…?" Alice heard my heartrate go skyrocketing and hushed me down by putting her hand over it.

"Calm down love. I'm not promising anything. But, I won't stop you, as long as you promise to take a reasonable pace." My body was now positively quivering with excitement, I was debating on whether or not to just throw her out of the tub right now. "Just relax. That's kind of the point of this. I would like to lay here undisturbed for a little while longer, ok?"

"Y-yeah. Yeah that's fine." She molded back into my body and let out a content sigh. Alright. This was nice. I inhaled her deeply, drowning in her scent, and leaned us back again.

"Thank you."

The rest of the bath was pleasant, lasting for quite a while longer. I was thankful that Alice calmed me down when she did, the more relaxed I was, the better. After a while she turned to face me, cupping my cheek, and pressed her lips softly against mine.

I was doing my best to not jump the gun, but it was proving difficult. She hadn't initiated anything in weeks, so it was hard to contain myself when she did. But I let her have her way with my lips, not daring to touch her myself, for that would end what control I had.

"Bella." She husked lowly in my ear. Aaaaaand gone.

Without wasting another second, I swept her legs up underneath her and lifted us both out of the bath. She never broke her eye contact with me, only increasing my arousal. Something was stirring in my lower abdomen, something I hadn't felt in a very long time. I couldn't even imagine how bad this was for her, we hadn't had sex since our honeymoon, and that was months and months ago.

"Keep calm. Focus on your breathing." Alice whispered as I set her down carefully on the bed. I hadn't realized how erratic and hard it had gotten until she said something. I took a deep breath and swallowed it down, doing what she said and focusing on a rhythm, in and out. "Good."

She made it so easy, like she was teaching me a simple math problem.

I went back to her lips, savoring their distinct taste, the way her tongue moved against mine. Alice began to squirm underneath me so I pinned her down with my hips, earning me a growl of disapproval.

"Easy Al. Slow, remember?"

"Sorry. It's just, you look _really_ good right now." She propped herself up and bit down on her lip, her eyes raking over my body. Fuck. That was her fuck me look. I couldn't keep slow with that look.

"God help me." I moved to kiss my way down her chest but she slid her thigh in between mine and I lost the ability to think.

"You think too much." She whispered before capturing my lips with her own, I'd never agreed with her more. Alice tugged on my hair hard, making me lose my balance and fall onto her completely. She giggled and moved her leg against me again, hitting a nerve that made my muscles jerk.

"Fuck. Ok." I mumbled on her laughing lips, positioning myself between her legs in turn. "Ok." One of my hands caressing her face and the other holding me up above her, she was so beautiful.

"Are you sure?" She had suddenly become hesitant, studying my features for any signs of breaking.

"Are you really asking me that right _now_?" I leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss to let her know I was all there.

"Mmmmm…" Her eyes glazed over in satisfaction, a small smirk coming back over her face. "Ok." Alice embedded her hands in my hair again and I carefully moved my hips forward.

We both let out embarrassingly loud moans. The animalistic side of me wanted to go hard and fast, but the human side of me was fighting it, leaving me with awkward jerky movements. Alice had to finally step in and take a hold of my hip with a hand, making me subject to her pace. I was grateful for it.

"Thanks." I whispered shakily.

"It's no problem. Like I said, focus on your breathing. It will help." I nodded and did as she said, closing my eyes to help concentrate. "There we go."

It was slow, careful movements. Alice kept cooing sweet nothings in my ear to keep me grounded throughout. For once in my life I wasn't throwing caution to the wind and wanting more, I was perfectly content where I was, grinding on each other deliciously.

After several minutes of this, our breathing picked up, our hips moving slightly faster against the other. My heartbeat went off on its own accord, Alice's skin felt too good. So smooth, cool to the touch. _Like his._

No.

"No."

"Are you ok?" Alice asked between breaths. I nodded mutely and buried my face in her neck, never ceasing our movements. She was now trembling slightly, her muscles twitching very lightly in the way that told me she needed more friction. I complied, giving my mind something else to focus on other than _that_.

I inhaled her scent deeply so she and she alone was the only thing I could smell. It was the only thing I wanted to smell. So sweet. _Like his._

No! No no no.

I screwed my eyes shut and dug harder, trying to focus back on my breathing as Alice had told me. But it was back to erratic, only causing me to panic more. My fingers were ripping the fabric underneath them in my effort.

Alice. Think of Alice.

"I'm trying!" Once again I had lost control of my mouth. Alice stopped moving and grabbed my neck to try and pry my face to hers, but my muscles had clamped up and I was immobile.

"Bella stop! Look at me! Stop." She had gotten a good grip on my head and pulled me up.

I felt weak. Useless. The shaking and tears started before I could even comprehend their presence.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I can't- I can't- I'm so-" Alice immediately sat up and cradled my head against her chest.

"Shhhhhh. Stop. It's ok. Bella it's ok." She rocked me back and forth, smoothing my hair as she did. Her quiet hushing calmed me down to soft crying. I still felt like utter crap. Not even worthy of her comfort.

"I-"

"No. Just let it out. You don't need to apologize or explain anything to me. Please do me and yourself a favor and just let something out without snuffing it. Ok?" I nodded and gave her a sniffly yes. She pulled a spare blanket over the both of us and let me cry my heart out.

I would have been more embarrassed at the sounds I was making, but I had opened a dam at this point. My perfect wife held me through it the entire time, encouraging me throughout. She whispered careful words in my ear and feathered my head with butterfly kisses.

"I'm sorry." Hours later I had gained my strength and voice back.

"Don't be. I love you." She leaned down and kissed my forehead before helping me up. "I'll go get us some clothes." She jumped swiftly from the bed and rummaged in the closet for a few moments before returning fully dressed with sweats and t shirt in hand for me.

"Thank you." I put them on and went to sit on my side of the bed, but Alice pulled me back in her lap.

"Can I hold you for a little longer?"

"Yeah." She thanked me and I relaxed back into her embrace. After a while she began to hum, running her fingers through my hair softly. She was lulling me into a nice slumber and I didn't have the energy to fight it, so I just let it carry me away.

* * *

"Wake up dumb-ass." Something hard flicked my nose and the warm sheets were ripped off my body.

"Whaaaa?" Light streamed into my groggy eyes and I searched for the culprit waking me at this ungodly hour. What time was it anyway?

"It's one o'clock in the afternoon. I've sat here waiting long enough. It's time to get up lazy bones." Of course Rosalie Hale was the suspect. She was standing over me with my sheet in her hand and a smirk playing on her lips.

"Where's Alice?" A quick scan of the room showed me she was nowhere to be found.

"She went hunting. I'm here for you." Ugh great. I had a feeling I knew what she was here for. She sensed my hesitance and threw me a pair of jeans. "Get dressed. We'll go for a walk. Do you want some breakfast? Or lunch really."

"Um…." I stumbled into the jeans and looked over to my kitchen where Rosalie was currently working. "You cook?" She let out a laugh and continued her work as I approached her.

"I was born in 1915 Bella. Any woman who hoped to marry knew her way around a kitchen."

"Oh." I scratched my head stupidly, I was still pretty damn out of it after that rude awakening. "Alice was born in 1901, she didn't know how to cook."

"Alice is kind of weird. I don't know if you've noticed." I laughed and nodded, grabbing a mug from a cabinet. "Coffee's already made."

"Shit Rose. I'm impressed." I poured myself a cup of steaming coffee from the pot and watched her finish up some eggs on the stovetop.

"I'm impressive." She shrugged and plopped them onto a ready plate, handing it to me with a fork. I smiled and thanked her, eating my breakfast quickly to get this show on the road. "Jesus, how did you not choke?" Rosalie snatched my plate the second it was clean.

"Why can't anyone let me wash a dish in this family?"

"Because we're just trying to be nice, you suck at it." I rolled my eyes and she finished up. "Come on. We're losing daylight slowpoke."

"Yes ma'am." I followed her closely as she led us outside, waiting for her to start the conversation. I was not up for initiating anything I didn't want to.

"Soooo…" Rosalie said after about fifteen minutes of silent walking. My stomach dropped miserably.

"So." Like I said, I wasn't for initiating.

"Alice told me what happened last night. But, you probably knew this already, otherwise, why would I be here?" I nodded and mumbled something incoherent, concentrating solely on what my feet were doing. "Anyways. I wanted to have a little chat with you about it."

"Ok."

"Would you rather talk and walk or sit down for this?" I contemplated her question for a few moments. If I was moving, I'd feel less trapped. Yes, walking was the clear better choice.

"Walk and talk, if that's alright with you?"

"I was the one who suggested it wasn't I?" She smiled and continued on, keeping me about one step behind her. "You're upset, aren't you?"

"Obviously."

"Frustrated? Angry?"

"Please don't pretend to be Carlisle in his numerous therapy sessions. We both know those didn't work." My patience was wearing thin, and I was tired of this being a problem, because it always was. It always would be.

"I'm not. Trust me I know. I'm just trying to figure you out. You're not the most expressive person." She spoke sincerely and turned to face me with a puzzled look on her face.

"So I've heard. But I feel as though these emotions you're asking me about are pretty fucking given." Rosalie smirked and turned back around.

"Agreed." There was silence for some time after this.

What the hell is her game plan here? Walk me deep into the woods and ask me about my feelings? If this was her big idea then I'm royally screwed.

"Why don't you talk to Alice about it? Or me for that matter?" Her words were traced with pain and hurt, she felt betrayed.

"Because I don't want to."

"Bella."

"Because it doesn't matter!" God this stupid fucking subject made me so touchy. "It doesn't fucking matter Rose! Just drop it because there's nothing I can do about it!" By the end of it I was breathing hard and shaking slightly, and of course I felt bad for yelling at her. "Sorry."

"That's why it bothers you so much, because you can't do anything about it. Right?"

"Rose. Please." I just wanted her to leave it alone, and I really didn't want to get angry at her again.

"No Bella. Tell me. Tell yourself!"

"Of course that's why I'm pissed! Wouldn't it bother you? If you hadn't been able to kill all those men who did that do you? Wouldn't it?!"

"Yes it would. I would probably never be able to move on like I did." My strength had gone after the multiple outbursts and I fell on the nearest rock, still trembling. Rosalie carefully placed herself across from me. "I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to upset you." She reached for my hand and held it while I continued to calm myself.

"It's alright. I'm sorry for yelling at you. Again."

"Don't be." We sat in the silence for a while, or at least, as much of a silence the forest gave us. "But, I want you to know that it does matter. And you will get your vengeance one day, I just know it." She had a sort of evil gleam in her eyes, I'm sure she was thinking about what she did so many years ago, and how good it felt. I shrugged and got up from the rock.

"We'll see." I extended my hand to help her up and she took it happily.

"That we will." Rosalie and I walked side by side back, and not a moment too soon. I missed the hell out of Alice already.

"Bella!" My favorite sound in the whole world greeted me as we closed in on our building, Alice rushed into my arms and crushed me in a hug.

"Hey Al. How was your hunt?" She popped her head up on my chest and looked up at me with bright golden eyes. "Looks good I see." Alice giggled and hopped up to peck my lips.

"I missed you." She cooed and reached up to straighten my hair up, I think I still had bed head.

"Yeah. I missed you too. Rosalie isn't a pleasant alarm clock."

"Rose! I told you to let her sleep in!" Alice cried out at her sister, Rosalie only smiled and flipped her hair.

"She slept until one o'clock, I couldn't wait any longer. Sorry I don't find her sleeping to be 'the cutest thing ever'." Alice gasped at Rose's embarrassing reveal and the two bickered all the way back to their house. I only found Alice more adorable after this new information and I kept my arm draped around her.

"How are you ladies doing this afternoon?"

"Ew. Emmett you make everything sound creepy when you say it like that." Alice scrunched her face up in her cute disgusted way and I chuckled at it. Rosalie went over to kiss her husband and I led us over towards the couch where Zoey and Liam were seated.

I was finally able to be around humans a couple weeks ago. There was still a little burn in the back of my throat when I was in close proximity, but Zoey was worth it. Unfortunately they still hadn't cleared me back for mission work because of this. Me being near humans that may get wounded was not a good recipe. My job was to keep a level head under stressful situations and get everyone home. I couldn't very well do that if I went into a frenzy if someone got a papercut. Oh the irony was not lost on me.

"What've you been up to?" Liam asked as soon as we sat down. Alice let me answer, deciding it was best that way.

"Um, I slept in. Went for a little walk." My answer was vague enough that everyone know not to pry.

"Sounds good. Anyways, Zoey and I were about to head out and go to dinner in the city. It's been a while since I took this gal on a proper date." They both got up and Liam gave me a wink before the two of them left.

"You know…" Alice started in her sly wanting something voice. "You haven't taken me out on a date in _ages_." She batted her eyes dramatically and even let out a sad sigh.

"Well I can't very well take you out into the town now can I? Besides, you don't even eat."

"Oh don't use that excuse dude. I've tried that." Emmett called out from across the room and Rosalie promptly smacked the back of his head. Alice rolled her eyes and took my hand.

"Come on." She led me out and back to our place, I was getting more and more confused by the second.

"Alice. We already tried this last night. It did _not_ work." I said uneasily when she closed the door behind us.

"Why must your mind always be in the gutter?" I shrugged and she continued to tow me into our living room, leaving me for a second to go turn on the stereo. "We are married you know, and I haven't danced in months." Finally catching on, I smiled and took her hand again.

"Well I'm terribly sorry my love. May I have this dance?" She giggled and did a corny little curtsy.

"I should hope so."

Alice had chosen a soft and slow tune, perfect for dancing. She clung against my chest and hummed along with the song. I always loved the way her spiky hair tickled my chin, it never failed to make me smile.

Somehow, even after all the drama of last night and this morning, Alice made me feel at peace. Made me feel like it was the day before our wedding all over again. So burden free.

"There it is." A tiny voice reached my ears and I looked down to see Alice grinning widely at me.

"What?"

"That smile I've been missing from you. A real genuine smile." I smiled even more and leaned down to give her a real kiss, holding her chin in my hand as I did so.

"I've missed it too."


	20. What's Out There

_In my left hand there is the familiar_

 _In my right hand there's the great unknown_

 _I can see the madly different grass there_

 _But I'm drawn to wilder nights at home_

 _Don't listen to your friends_

 _See the despair behind their eyes_

 _Don't listen to your friends_

 _They only care once in a while_

 _I can feel the draw_

 _I can feel it pulling me back_

 _It's pulling me back_

 _It's pulling me_

* * *

 **Chapter 20:** **What's Out There**

 **Bella POV:**

 **Weeks Later**

"You are too fucking adorable."

"Oh shut up." Alice pushed me back and rolled her eyes, continuing her fruitless effort at catching a snowflake on her tongue.

It was Christmas Eve and the whole family had gotten into a snowball fight. My team won of course, but Alice wanted to stay out a little longer and enjoy the fresh snowfall. She was easily the cutest thing ever, my little pixie holding out her tongue in hope.

"Here, like this." I tilted her head up carefully. Almost as soon as I did so, a perfect flurry found its way down to her. She immediately released a squeal of excitement.

"Oooooo! It was so small! Do humans like the taste?"

"I mean, it's just water. It doesn't really taste like anything."

"Fascinating." She took my arm, my hand was currently buried deep within my pocket to avoid the cold, and led me towards the forest.

"Alice." I whined at where she was taking me. "We've been out here for hours. I know I'm part wolf and all but I do still get cold after some time."

"I'm sorry love. I have a small gift for you, but we can do it inside. I don't want you to get sick." As much as I wanted to get inside and warm up, I could tell this was important to her, so I nodded and headed towards the forest again.

"I thought we said no presents this year."

"This is necessary and overdue. You'll see." Alice walked us out a little ways into the forest, finally stopping by our spot.

"Why am I worried?"

"Don't be. You worry too much."

"Hello pot, I'm kettle." She giggled and pulled my hands out of my pockets, a sudden serious expression took over her face.

"I know it's not the same…" Alice reached inside her own pocket and pulled out a small ring. "But I know you've felt naked without a ring on your finger, so I got you this. Bella Swan, will you continue to be my wife?" I cracked a grin and leaned down to kiss her.

"Of course." She beamed and slid the new ring onto my finger.

It didn't feel right. It was foreign, misplaced. My finger itched under the new metal as if it knew I was trying to replace its old friend. Of course I didn't say a word of this to Alice, she would be crushed. This was my problem, not hers. She tries so hard every day to help me, she deserves better.

"Come on. I'll make you some hot chocolate." I grinned and grabbed her hand to take us back home.

* * *

"You're so beautiful." I whispered while nuzzling Alice's neck. A wonderful tinkling giggle reached my ears after my comment.

It was Christmas morning and I had just woken up to my angel. We both broke our pact of no presents, but we kept it low key. Alice got me a new leather jacket and I got her, really us, a record player. She had talked about how she missed old vinyls and how they sounded, and I loved when she wanted to play music and dance with me.

Around midafternoon we meandered over towards the Cullen home where Liam and Zoey joined us. Esme was ecstatic about having three people to cook for and went crazy with the amount of food. I was sure Alice was going to have to get me new jeans after all this.

"Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum." Liam plopped a glass in my lap and sat down next to me with a bottle in his hand. "Unfortunately I don't have any rum, so we'll just settle for holiday bourbon." We both chuckled and he poured a good amount in each glass.

"Merry Christmas Liam." Our glasses clinked and I took a long sip from mine. "Mmmm. That's good."

"Yeah. I stole it from Carlisle's stash."

"Carlisle has a stash of booze? For what possible reason?"

"I'm a collector." Carlisle came out of nowhere and sat down across from us. "And you did not steal it Liam. As I recall, it was a gift."

"Yeah, but stealing it sounds so much more badass." Carlisle smiled kindly and a thoughtful look came over his face.

"You are definitely my two most interesting children."

"Hey! I take that as an insult." Liam feigned an injured expression only making Carlisle laugh.

"Don't." He got up and patted both our shoulders, lingering on mine for a moment longer before he left to help Esme deal with an overjoyed Emmett who was making a mess trying to build a gingerbread house.

"New ring?" Liam pointed to the hand I was using to hold my glass. I nodded and absentmindedly started to play with it again. He must have understood my animosity towards the new one, so he dropped the subject.

The rest of the evening sped by, it was merry and jolly and all that crap. I was doing my best to keep my attitude in check, especially with how hard everyone worked to get me here. But it wasn't getting easier each day, if anything it was getting worse. Every day I spent here I felt more useless. I wasn't a good wife and I couldn't be, not when my mind was other places.

Alice and I walked home much later, after ample fussing from Esme. Alice could tell something was plaguing my thoughts, but she left me to them, knowing me all too well.

"Did you have a good Christmas?" She asked once we were all settled in bed.

"Yeah. It was nice. You?"

"Yes indeed. I have you here with me." I let out a small laugh and ran my hand over her cheek.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

"Do we have enough champagne for the party?"

"Esme, it's only Liam, Zoey, and I who will be drinking it. Maybe Jake if he decides to come." My dear mother in law was stressing about the upcoming New Year's party once more. It was only two days away and Esme was going crazy with making everything perfect. Of course Alice was part of the planning as well, that girl loved parties way too much. Luckily she didn't drag me into it, so I got to spend most of the time lounging around with Emmett and Jasper.

"Isn't it about time we left for the hunting trip?" Emmett glanced at his watch as he questioned Esme.

The whole Cullen family was supposed to go for a hunt tonight to prepare for the festivities. It had been a while for all of them, Alice's eyes were a dark amber color.

"It's going to storm tonight." Alice stated, tapping her head as she did so. "And I don't think the family would like to get soaked this evening. Tomorrow night should be clear. Just in time for the party." Emmett groaned and slumped back down on the couch, his excitement for an upcoming hunt gone.

"Damn."

"Cheer up big guy. I'll play you another round." He grinned and grabbed his controller, but mine was slapped out of my hands. "Ow. What was that for?"

"Since I'm not going hunting tonight I need to cut your hair so it will look nice for the party. Start the new year out fresh." Now it was my turn to groan. Alice took my hand and dragged me back to my doom.

The haircut I didn't mind, actually I liked it. My wife running her hands through my hair repeatedly was heaven. No, it was what came after that was problematic. It would always get me so worked up and aroused that I felt the need to do something. Of course lately it hadn't been ending well, which only made me pissed off at myself.

Thunder began to rumble overhead while Alice worked. I was trying my hardest not to let her hands get to me, but they did. By the end of it I was a growling mess and I threw her on the bed when she asked how it looked.

"That good huh?" She giggled when her back hit the mattress. I merely nodded and sucked on her neck, working my way up her jawline. "Bella…"

"What?" I asked distractedly. Her body was vibrating underneath me in a purr.

"Do you really want to try this again?" I knew what she was talking about. We had tried something like this a few nights ago and it ended just as poorly as the rest. But of course I wanted to attempt again. What would life be if people just gave up after each failed challenge?

"Yes." With my word, her already dark eyes went black and she let out a growl before grabbing my neck roughly. Alice flipped us around a second later, her straddling my waist over me.

"Why are you so sexy?" She purred, running her hands down my chest, digging lightly with her nails. Right when her fingers reached the hem of my shirt, I flipped us back over, earning me a disappointed nip from her.

"You are much too dangerous to be on top." She grinned deviously and I pulled her shirt carefully off her body. That little minx must have known what I would do later, she wore her sexiest lacy black bra. My mouth watered at the sight.

"Fuck Bella. Your eyes are so dark right now."

"Lust." I mumbled, not paying attention to anything but the chest in front of me. So perfectly shaped, just for me to touch. I leaned down to kiss them both tenderly, my hand played with the front clasp slowly. "All mine." I whispered as I unclasped it at last, releasing her breasts to my touch alone. Alice moaned when I took one in my mouth.

"Forever yours." Her words sent a sudden pain shooting through my heart. I gasped for air and fell back from her, guilt riddling me completely. _Forever Yours, Alice_. The sentiment etched in metal, my ring that was so cruelly taken from me. Now replaced with a fraud.

"No." I fell off the bed and onto my knees, clutching my head to try and somehow shield from the memories. Alice sunk down next to me to help deal with this new bout.

"You ok?" She tentatively asked a while later after my shaking had subsided. My nerves, already fried from everything that went on, snapped at her harmless question.

"No I'm not ok! Nothing about this is ok!" I jumped to my feet and went to pace my anger out. I knew I didn't want to take this out on her, it's just I had nowhere else to put it.

"Easy Bella. I know you're frustrated and justifiably so."

"I'm sorry Al. I really hate when I take things out on you." I sat back down on the bed defeated.

"I understand. I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you. But it's like we said in our vows. In sickness and in health."

"In sickness and in health? That's what you think this is? That I'm just some person with a disease or ailment and I'll get better?!" That declaration really struck a chord with me. I already knew everyone thought of me as some patient in a psych ward, but to hear it from Alice, that was a knife in the back.

"No!" Panic crossed her face at the realization of what she said. "No that's not what I meant!"

"Yes it is!" I stood up again, more livid than I was the first time. "You don't think I notice how everyone acts around me?! Like I'm some - some injured child! And how everyone's afraid to talk about real shit!"

"Bella! Please calm down." She was pleading and her eyes were coated in tears. The sight was enough to make me stop in my tracks momentarily. But all the emotions and thoughts I had been holding onto for the past several months were spilling out on their own accord.

"No dammit! How am I supposed to calm down when they're out there?!"

"Who?"

"WHO DO YOU THINK?" I know I actually did look like a crazy person now. I was running my hands through my hair in frustration and I'm sure it was sticking out every which way. My eyes were bugging out and my face felt flushed from the yelling. "The Volturi! They're out there! Free from punishment! And I'm here doing nothing about it!"

"Well what do you want to do Bella?!" Alice had now cracked under my pressure. "Do you want to go out there, scouring the Earth, probably ending up right where we just got you back from?!" She was crying in front of me and I couldn't handle it. Forgetting the storm, I made my way outside for air. I was drenched in seconds, but it barely registered with me. Alice didn't follow as I went to sit on the front steps. I was alone.

Rain soaked through my clothes and dripped from my hair down my face. I couldn't hurt Alice, not after everything I've put her through. But I also couldn't stay here day after day doing nothing. If I waited for my control to be in check it would be months until they let me do something. Our relationship was hanging on by a thread, a thread that would be destroyed if I continued lying to her, lying to myself.

Eventually a strong gust of wind woke me from my thoughts and I realized how cold and wet I was. Horrible guilt ran through me for leaving Alice after that fight, crying and alone. As soon as I entered our home I went to comfort her, she was still sitting on the bed crying where I left her.

"I'm so sorry Alice." I was a monster for making her this upset, but in my mind, the fight was not over. She fell into my embrace easily, not caring if she got soaked as well.

I slept uneasily that night after many hours of apologizing to Alice. She seemed to accept it and let me be.

The next day went by at an agonizing pace. The fight was still fresh in my mind and I was going over my options. The way I saw it, I had two. Either I could stay here and pretend to get better with Alice, eventually causing our relationship to fail. Or I could leave.

Hunt down the Volturi, never stopping until every single one of them was dead, including the guard. Cleansing myself of their deeds. But it would crush Alice. She would never forgive me, that was a certainty. Putting my own life in danger to end others. But I had to. There was something in me, something that would never be satisfied, never able to move on as Rosalie put it, until I had my revenge. So if I stayed, Alice and I would be doomed no matter what. I knew that.

"You alright Bella? You seem kind of out of it." Edward came up to me as the sun was setting and the Cullens were preparing for their hunt.

"Um, yeah. Yeah I'm fine. Just thinking." He smiled kindly and went back to help the family.

"Are you sure you're fine with me leaving? I don't have to go." Alice came over, still concerned about me from the night before.

"Yes you do. You need to hunt love. I'll be fine. I promise." And I meant it.

"Ok. I'll see you just in time for the party." She nuzzled my neck and went to leave, but I grabbed her quickly and kissed her. Putting everything I could ever express to her and how much I loved her into that one kiss. She stumbled backwards slightly after I pulled away, confused by my sudden attack on her lips. "W-what was that for?"

"Nothing. I love you." Alice blinked and then smiled brightly.

"I love you too." She skipped back towards her family and I gave them all a wave as they left, my heart sinking when the door closed. I knew what I had to do.

I rushed back to my place and grabbed my backpack and duffel bag, packing them with clothing and some essentials. I raided my stash of weapons and threw them in the bag, I only had so much time until they came back. It was also easier if I did this quickly, it would already be tough enough as it was.

It started to rain as I finished up, which meant my time was running out. Alice must not have seen this storm. Blindsided I guess, just like my actions now. I made my final walkthrough and picked up my bag. This was it.

The slight drizzle had turned into a downpour by the time I walked out, but I didn't mind. The water soaking my body only disguised how hard my own tears were falling. I took one final look at the place I called home.

"Please forgive me."


	21. Gone

**A/N: Sorry for such the long wait ya'll, it's been a crazy week. I officially moved! Ironically to a place of Twilight significance. Brownie points if you guess it :) Anyways, kind of a short chapter. I haven't had much time to write. Warning that my updates will be on and off for the next several weeks. They may be regular and quick for some time and then go into waiting a bit at other times. Starting a new life in a new town is kind of stressful.**

 **Oh also side note: I finally updated my youtube channel a little. I made a separate playlist for all the lyrics in the beginning of all the chapters. There are a couple repeats but different verses, and I realize I fucked up one chapter that didn't have any. But, yeah. I'm human.**

* * *

 _We'll make our agreements_

 _About when to meet_

 _And I'll leave you in the doorway_

 _The cold evening aches_

 _As it leaves in its wake_

 _All the memories left by the day_

 _And I'm questioning why_

 _As you look to the sky_

 _That is cloudless up above our heads_

 _And thoughts come to mind_

 _That our short little lives_

 _Haven't left the path that they will tread_

 _They will tread_

* * *

 **Chapter 21:** **Gone  
**

 **Alice POV:**

"Alice you said it wouldn't rain!"

"No, I said it _should_ be clear. I never made a guarantee." Emmett rolled his eyes at my smartass comment.

"Some psychic you are. Come on Rosie, two hours until the party. I wonder what we could do with our free time." He was greeted with an immediate slap on the back of the head. "Ow!"

"Why must you always be so crass?" Rosalie shot me a sympathetic look after she was done scolding Emmett. For some reason everyone felt guilty about having normal love lives around Bella and I. I'm really starting to understand why Bella is so pissed at everyone.

"Alright kids, no messing with my decorations. Alice, why don't you go get Bella and you two can help finish setting out the poppers and sparklers."

"Sure thing Esme." I hopped out of the car as soon as Emmett parked it to go get my wife. "Bella! We're back early. It started to rain pretty hard." She wasn't in our room so I wandered over towards the bathroom, still no Bella. Something wasn't right. "Bella?" I went back to the bedroom and scanned the room with a little more attention than I did the first time. There was something there I hadn't noticed before. An envelope, and something glinting next to it in the light.

I let out a cry of pain as I got closer, the something was Bella's ring, the one I tried to replace. And if her ring was sitting atop this envelope, I had a pretty good idea of what its contents were.

I sunk to my knees holding it in my hands. If I didn't open it, maybe it wasn't true. Maybe it was an illusion or dream of some sort. But I also needed to open it. I needed to know why.

 _Alice,_

 _I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to put into words how_

 _sorry I am. I know you'll never forgive me, so I don't ask_

 _for your forgiveness. I only hope to make you understand_

 _my reasoning._

 _You are everything to me. Even after everything that has_

 _happened in my life, you are always there for me, even when I_

 _don't deserve it. I love you so much, and this is one of the_

 _reasons for my departure. I can't ever feel free with you when_

 _I know there are threats to your safety. As long as they are still_

 _alive, the Volturi will always be a threat to us, our family._

 _However, in the interest of total honesty, my reasoning was not_

 _all selfless. I can't move on with you completely when I know_

 _they are out there, not paying for what they've done. When I_

 _had my emotions turned off I once told you something, that I_

 _enjoyed killing. That was partially true. I'm ashamed to admit it,_

 _but there is a beast inside of me clawing at its cage. I can't stay_

 _here contained any longer. It would tear us apart. This is me_

 _keeping control of how that happens._

 _I promise to stay safe. Please don't go looking for me, you'll_

 _only put yourself in danger. I need you to trust me, I know_

 _it's a lot to ask after all that I've done, but I need it. I left my ring with you_

 _incase you find this act unforgiveable, which I wouldn't blame_

 _you if you did. But it also never has felt right on me. I will get the original,_

 _you can count on that._

 _I wish you a happy new year, I didn't want to start it with you if I_

 _had no intentions of finishing it with you._

 _I love you always,_

 _Bella_

I could count the number of times that I've wanted to cry real tears on one hand, this was one of those times. Terrible sobs racked my body, this was a pain I'd never felt before.

She left me. She actually left me.

Just like you left her. Abandoned and alone.

* * *

Apparently my absence had worried Esme because she came in later asking what the holdup was. She was sincerely sorry once she noticed something was horribly awry.

I was curled into a ball on the floor, crying my heart out, and clutching a letter and wedding band. Esme figured out the gist of it from this pretty picture and hushed me into her arms. Luckily she didn't make me talk or ask any questions about it, just let me sob continuously.

"Esme it's an hour before the party. What on Earth is taking you so-?" Rosalie stopped in the doorway at the sight of us. "Oh shit."

"I think it's best if we cancel the party Rosalie. Can you go and tell Carlisle?"

"No." I called to stop Rose as she went to leave. "No. Don't cancel the party. Not for me."

"Alice-"

"No Esme. You've worked so hard. You deserve to celebrate."

"But-"

"No buts Rose. I need some time alone anyways." Esme and Rosalie both looked at me with highly skeptical looks and I sighed, pushing my mother away gently. "Please. I'll be fine."

Eventually I coaxed them into leaving me be. Sometimes you just need a good cry by yourself, especially when your mate/wife leaves you.

Yes I know it wasn't because she didn't love me anymore, I had enough common sense in me to know that. And her letter made sure I knew it as well. No, that wasn't what hurt me so much about her sudden departure, it was the fact that my love wasn't enough to have her stay. That's probably one of the worst feelings in the world for a mate.

She was in pain, constantly battling with herself, I had noticed it a while back, but I never imagined her doing something like this. I had been selfish about not bringing it up with her, I worried about what I would hear. Maybe this was exactly what I deserved then.

"She really left." Liam had come in with an utterly shocked expression on his face. He stared, disbelieving at what he knew to be true. I only nodded and held up the letter for him to read. He's the only person I feel comfortable handing such sensitive things to, besides Bella of course.

Liam read it quietly, sinking down onto the floor with me the further he read.

"Fuck. Alice I'm so sorry."

"Me too."

He handed me back the letter and excused himself. I was sure he was in about the same amount of pain that I was. Bella left him as well. She was my wife, but his best friend, his sister. At least I got a letter.

Midnight came and went, and I continued to sit in my room wondering when everything went wrong. When did she decide to leave? Was it a spur of the moment thing or did she plan it? No. She planned this. That's why she kissed me like that before we left. I was even stupider than I thought.

All this because I was a coward who was terrified of the things going on in her mind. And now she was running around, putting her mind and body at risk for some idea of revenge. I was fucking useless right now in the fact that I couldn't chase after her. If I did I was bound to be captured by the Volturi, I was just about as high a target as Bella. Maybe even higher. And I already knew how that game ended, except if I really did die, there wouldn't be a get out of jail free card.

So I was stuck. Liam would go after her of course, as he usually does. We all knew her target so there weren't any questions or issues there, but I knew Bella all too well. If she really didn't want to be found, she would not be found. The only reason why we got her with her emotions off was because of the sloppy body trail. There would be none of that this time.

"I'm sorry Alice. This is all my fault." Rosalie had come back into my room, looking even worse than before.

"Why is it when something goes wrong in this family, everyone jumps to take the blame?"

"Because it's true. It is my fault. I pushed her into admitting what was holding her back. I knew she was thinking of revenge."

"Yeah. Well at least you asked her. All I did was sweep things under the rug."

"That's not true Alice! You did all you could think of. You tried to get her all this help, me being one of them. I'm the one that failed."

"Yes but I'm her wife!" I suddenly felt immense sympathy for Bella and all her emotional outbursts. My sanity was barely hanging on by a thread with everyone breathing down my neck. Possibly another reason why she left. "I'm supposed to be the one to talk her through things! Even if I can't relate, I can at least understand! I just shoved her off as someone else's problem and let them deal with it."

"That's ridiculous! We all know you did no such thing!"

"Didn't I though?" I did. I know I did. It's like I hadn't learned anything in the time we've spent together.

"No. You didn't. She would have left eventually for the same reasons. It's just something she has to do." Rosalie said it so nonchalantly, like it was just another mission she was going on.

"It's going to get her killed Rose! Or even worse off than she was before. Every time I get her back, she returns with less pieces of herself. What will happen if she gets captured again? Or better yet, what will happen if she actually accomplishes what she set out to do?"

"She can finally move on Alice. Isn't that what you want?"

"Not if it costs her soul."


	22. Invested Parties

**A/N: DxGRAYxMAN: Good guess, but no.** **I don't really like the rain. Any cold, wet thing... ;)  
**

* * *

 _In those discouraging days_

 _I always missed the mark_

 _When we were comfort and close_

 _I would neglect to keep_

 _Oh, you safe and unexposed_

 _A portrait of time repeats_

 _This moment now replaced_

 _With an empty wish to give_

 _I give, I gave_

 _I gave my everything_

 _For all the wrong things_

 _In this cold reality I made_

 _This selfish war machine_

 _Oh, this has become hell_

 _How can I share this life_

 _With someone else?_

 _I promise you_

 _There is no weight that can bury us_

 _Beneath the ghosts of all my guilt_

 _Here in the dark side of me_

* * *

 **Chapter 22:** **Invested Parties**

 **Bella POV:**

"I already told you, I don't know where they are. The Volturi keep their tracks covered."

"See, I previously made the mistake of believing this lie once before Toshiro. I'd suggest you tell me the truth this time, or, let's just say there'll be consequences." I leaned down to the quivering mess of a man I had just thrown against a nearby wall.

I had sought out Toshiro a few weeks back. Street nomads like him knew all sorts of information, including sensitive material on Volturi whereabouts. The guards would threaten them to keep these secrets, men like Toshiro with no powers were easy to persuade.

He had given me the same line he was giving me now about knowing no such things. But a run in with another nomad gave me other ideas.

Alistair was much more compliant for me. He obviously understood just what I was willing to do for my goal. His unique ability was extremely helpful, but it led me back to London again. Toshiro was quite a bit more involved than I originally thought. Still a mere pawn, but a knowledgeable little pawn.

"They'll kill me. They'll kill me if I tell you anything."

"They're going to kill you no matter what! If you don't have a power, you are of no use to them. Anyone not in their guard is just used until they decide you're not worthy to be kept alive anymore." Toshiro continued to shake his head, cowering in fear. Oh what I wouldn't give for Edward's or Aro's power right now.

Well, at least I know how to torture someone. It really helps that I know exactly what hurts the most from personal experience. Jane can fuck with people's minds all she wants, eventually real bodily harm is the way to go.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this then." I truly was sorry about getting into this mess, but unfortunately I didn't have much of a choice. My leads were running low.

I had gone through the Irish, French, and Amazon covens in the past couple weeks. Each had little bits of information, all leading me to various nomads. So eventually I just decided to seek out every nomad I could find. I had exhausted all my tips, especially if I wanted to keep up my low profile, staying just underneath the radar from both the Volturi and Colt's division.

"The Egyptian coven!" Toshiro screamed out after I had forcibly removed several of his fingers. "That's where they're headed next!"

"Why?" I pried on, needing all the information I could get before disposing of the evidence.

"Th-there's a vampire they want. Gifted. Very powerful. They're trying to get him."

"Does he have a name?"

"I-I don't know. Their leader Amun is very protective of him." I nodded satisfied and stood up from my work.

"Thank you." I picked him up again and took ahold of his neck. He knew what was coming next. I couldn't have him running off and telling the Volturi in the hope that they'd grant him into the ranks.

"You think yourself so pure and self-righteous. But you're wrong. You're just like them." I only hesitated for a moment and frowned at his supposed insult.

"I don't. And I'm not like them. I'm much worse."

* * *

About an hour later I was dusting my jeans off from the scum of the alley, and Toshiro was long gone. I started a slow stroll and thought about catching a quick dinner before making my way South towards Egypt. Of course Aro was after more power.

But something caught my eye. Subtle and calculated movements in the shadows, wanting to make themselves unknown. The stench of vampire filled my nose and I smirked despite the situation.

Someone really had the bright idea to get the drop on me?

"I suggest you come out now. Unless you'd like to die painfully." I called out to the alley before slowly approaching it, avoiding any wandering eyes. Almost immediately, I felt two vampires behind me. Not in a threatening manner though, so I didn't attack right away.

"That was quite a show you put on back there. Your reputation precedes you Miss Swan." The one who spoke was male, his accent heavily Eastern European. I racked my brains quickly to remember any covens around that area. My smirk only grew and I turned around to face them.

"The Romanian coven, I presume?"

"Indeed. Or, what's left of it." The other one answered me. I sized them both up just in case they had other ideas, but I'm pretty sure that was not their intention of seeking me out this evening.

"How did you find me?" This question was very important to ask first. If they could find me, that meant there were other much more interested parties that possibly could.

"The Volturi may have taken all our power, but they did not take our wit. We've been waiting for you for a long time Miss Swan."

"Is that so?" I was still wary of them. They were much older than I and I wasn't sure if they had any gifts.

"Ah yes. How rude of us. We forgot to introduce ourselves. I'm Stefan, and this is Vladimir." They both dramatically bowed and I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"Well Stefan and Vladimir, what can I do for you this evening? I'm afraid I can't spend too long chatting, I have places to be and people to see."

"Oh we know." Both their eyes lit up in an almost crazed way. "The great revenge trail. You've waited so long, but really, not nearly as long as some."

"I'm not like the others." I muttered annoyed. These Romanians were some real slow talkers and I would much rather be on the road.

"You are an impatient little youngling." Stefan circled me, now he was the one sizing me up and down. But he had a look of slight disgust on his face while he did so, one that was mirrored on Valdimir's as well. It irritated me to no end.

"What?" I finally barked after a prolonged silence.

"I'm afraid we're slightly disappointed in you Miss Swan." Vladimir scoffed, I growled lowly as a warning. "We mean no disrespect, but you are probably the only hope of defeating the Volturi after all these years, and you're so…..weak."

"Excuse me?" My slight rage temporary blinded me and someone flashed by my body, cutting my side open with a blade. "Fuck!" I went to lunge at them, but they had both retreated with their hands up in surrender, the knife dropped.

"You see? Weak." Stefan smiled slyly as I leaned against the wall trying to recover from the hit. It was deep, but small. It would heal in time, still hurt like a bitch though.

"Sorry but I can't really do much about the fact that I'm not made of fucking marble!" I spat at them. Did they really have to stab me to prove their obvious point about my body not being indestructible?

"No. Of course not. But that's not exactly what we meant." Stefan moved in slowly, peering over to check on my wound. "How long will that take to heal?"

"I don't fucking know. A couple hours or so."

"And it hurts, doesn't it?" I only glared at Vladimir's question. Of course it fucking hurt. The bastard stabbed me! "One simple movement has left you crippled."

"Make your fucking point, or so help me –"

"You'll what? Not like you can do much now."

"You'd be surprised." I growled and flashed my canines at them.

"No need to make things messy Miss Swan. Or, messier than they already are." They both snickered and I growled again. No wonder why the Volturi wanted to kill them all.

"Now, if you were to switch diets, how long do you think that cut would take to heal then?" I narrowed my eyes at them. So that was their play.

I knew the Romanians were most famous for not hiding their vampirism with the world. They found the feeding of humans to be natural and nothing to be ashamed of. But then the Volturi came along and changed the rules.

"A bit less."

"And it would hurt less too, wouldn't it?"

"I'm _not_ changing my diet. No matter what you say. Sorry to waste your time." I said through gritted teeth. My patience was pretty much gone at this point. They'd insulted me, attacked me, and questioned my way of life. Definitely outstayed their welcome.

"Don't make such rash statements Miss Swan."

"If your goal is to defeat the Volturi, then you have to drink human blood. You don't stand a chance without it. We're quite invested in your success Miss Swan, but we need a winning horse to back up."

"Even if I was willing to believe that crap, I already told you I won't. I can't kill the Volturi if I have no control over my own mind and body." A small part of me knew they were right. I was weaker than any human drinking coven. But I was also right about my control, blood has never done me any favors.

"You always let the blood control you, young one. Control it, and the Volturi don't stand a chance."

"That's nice. Catchy little statement you got there. But it's easier said than done."

"Because you give into your cravings too easily. You need to feed, and then stop yourself right when you want more. How do you say, ah yes, practice makes perfect." The old vengeful gleam in their eyes was back. I stood up from the wall, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"What do you mean?"

"Pace yourself."

"And have something to focus on to keep your control. Whenever you feel the blood tempting your mind, think of your revenge instead. Only that will hold power over the temptress."

I felt my mouth involuntarily water at the prospective. But no, I couldn't do that. Torturing and killing nomad vampires was one thing, but killing humans, that was another.

"No. I won't kill anymore helpless innocent humans. Not this time." It seemed like they expected this answer from me, each not dropping their disturbingly creepy smiles.

"Who said anything about killing humans?" Vladimir tossed something at me and I luckily caught it with my reflexes. But they both disappeared after the throw, nowhere to be seen.

Confused as hell, I looked down into my hands and saw that I was holding a warm medical bag full of human blood.

"Fuck."


	23. Should You Choose to Accept It

**A/N:** **DxGRAYxMAN** **\- A for effort man. But still a no. Think of the opposite coast.  
**

 **Again everyone, super sorry about these prolonged updates. I feel horrible. But there's not much I can do. When life gets busy...**

 **I'm fucking tired as shit.**

* * *

You stepped with a heavy tread,

And left your mark

Oh, your mark on me

The space you used to fill is now this great black hole

Oh, you're out of sight but not out of my mind

* * *

 **Chapter 23:** **Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It…**

 **Liam POV:**

"Why am I doing this again?"

"Because Bella was our big gun and now with her gone we need more manpower." The tone in my voice held a bored note as I explained this all to Jake. Jasper took over on the strategic end of things, but I still needed an extra set of hands when it came down to business.

Rosalie set her foot down when it came to taking Emmett, and Edward wasn't a great brute force fighter, so Jacob was the way to go. He was reluctant at first, but my begging eventually won him over.

I really fucking missed Bella. And not just from a coworker's standpoint, she was my best friend. I missed the hanging out and messing around. Fucking with Emmett and talking about our relationships. All these small things really added up and I felt abandoned.

Of course I understood why she did what she did, but it still hurt. We were supposed to be a team, one family. Yeah what the Volturi did to me would never even compare to what they did to her, but I was still fucked up. The Volturi created both of us, I felt like I deserved to at least be part of the revenge planning.

Sure my sire was dead, but that didn't leave me satisfied. Marcus may have helped the Volturi acquire all their power, but he never played a role in the actual torturing of us.

"Dude? You're zoning out on me. I'm kind of trying to ask you some important shit right now." Jacob's voice finally broke through my thoughtful haze and I shook out of it quickly.

"Fuck sorry Jake. What's up?" He scoffed and rolled his eyes at my lack of attention.

"Are you going to tell me what I'm doing here? Like is someone going to debrief me on what my job is?" I instantly felt horrible for leaving him in the dark for so long.

"Oh yeah. Yeah yeah. Jesus I'm so sorry Jake. I keep forgetting all the essential things to do. But yeah, Carlisle and Jasper will give us all the information we need."

"It's alright. I get it, you miss her." Apparently my scattered demener was pretty easy to read, Jacob hit the nail right on the head.

"Is it that obvious?"

"I'm afraid so." I sighed and ran a weary hand over my face. Jacob merely chuckled and pat my back. "Don't worry about it Liam. I think we all are missing a big part of ourselves. Somehow that girl managed to make herself an integral part in all our lives. But unfortunately she's stubborn as hell and will end up doing whatever she feels, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just so happened to hurt us a bit in the process."

"I know. But it still sucks right now."

"Which is exactly why we need to do a good job right? Get her home. You did say this might be leading us to the Volturi, did you not?" I smiled at his eagerness. Really he and Emmett should be best friends.

"Yes I did. But probably their guard, not the main two we want. They're most likely in deep hiding."

"Still something to kill." He grinned boyishly and I started leading him towards the debriefing room where Jasper and Carlisle were waiting. "How's shorty?"

"Alice?" Jake nodded solemnly. "She's…. she's how you would expect. I mean, obviously better than last time, the circumstances are so drastically different. But she's still without her mate, and this time it was one of their choices. I'd say she's doing about the same as the time they broke up. Not happy, but not going catatonic."

"Understandable." My slightly bettering mood from Jake's happy go lucky attitude was washed away at the mention of Alice. I fell back on our walk.

"Jake do you mind if I go check up on her? I'll meet up with you all later, I just want to make sure she's ok."

"Yeah sure thing. No problem dude. I'll see you in a bit." He gave me a two finger salute before entering the room and leaving me in the hall. I quickly walked back to Alice's room and knocked twice, waiting for her signal that it was alright to enter.

"Come in."

"Hey Al." She perked up when she heard my voice instead of the typical Esme or Rosalie. I had been neglecting comforting her lately, I knew that. But I had my reasons.

She reminded me of my best friend of course, and I did to her. But while my presence brought her comfort, hers only brought me pain.

"Hey Liam." She rolled off the bed and enveloped me into a hug. Her body was absolutely covered in Bella's scent, and a pang of sorrow went through me. "I thought I wouldn't see you for a few days. Aren't you leaving today?"

"Tomorrow." I moved away from her carefully and sat down on the bed, my physical and mental exhaustion was starting to show. These past few weeks have been a living hell for my work life balance.

"Do you think Jacob's ready?"

"He will be."

"Good. We don't want any unnecessary injuries." She laid back down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "Any word on Bella?" The inevitable subject finally rearing its head.

"No." Alice was expecting this answer and didn't seem particularly surprised. "She's laying low, which is actually good in retrospect. But it looks like she's going to stick to her plan about not coming home until the job is done." She nodded and snuggled a nearby shirt while I spoke. "You doing alright?"

"I guess." Alice shrugged and continued to stare blankly above us. "Not much I can really do about it anyways." I understood that completely. The mood in the room had fallen into a somber lull again.

"New subject?"

"Yeah." Alice rolled over and sat thinking about what to talk about for a bit. "How are things going with Zoey?"

"They're alright. It's been pretty stressful lately, but she's understanding."

"Have you discussed the human thing anymore?"

"Actually yes." Zoey and I had discussed the big topic for some time now. I didn't want her to feel pressured into making any decisions too fast, we had time. But she had made up her mind a while back. "She wants to be turned right after her eighteenth birthday."

"That's perfect. It's not too far away, but it still gives you some time to enjoy each other now."

"Yep."

We talked aimlessly for a little while, at least until I felt she was alright enough for me to leave her again. I had left Jake alone with two vampires for too long. Besides, I needed to prepare as well.

"Ok Al, I gotta go. You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah I'm good. I'm actually going hunting with Rose and Emmett later today. Stay safe."

"Yes ma'am."

I walked out quietly and then made a small detour into the Cullen home to say hello to my other family. Esme took her own sweet time in letting me go, but my list of things to do before I left was growing.

"You good dude?" Jake greeted me lightly when I finally was able to meet up with him. I'm sure I looked even more disheveled than I had before. Every day was mentally taxing.

"Yeah I'm fine. What'd I miss?"

"Not much. Jasper and Dr. Cullen were just explaining in detail all the Volturi guards' gifts that they know of.

"Perfect."

Carlisle and Jasper droned on for about another hour about everyone's abilities and weaknesses. I tried my best to stay interested during it, but I had already known all this information prior. My main questions were the who, where, and why.

"Think you got that all down Jacob?" Carlisle asked after it seemed he was finally finished. Poor Jake looked like his head might explode any minute.

"Ummmm. Fuck. I think so. Still just trying to wrap my head around the whole Jane and, what was his name, Alex?"

"Alec."

"Yeah him. Those are some serious guns they got." It was a lot to take in for a young local shape shifter.

"Yes they are. It is exactly how the Volturi keep gaining more and more power. Talent."

"So what's the mission?" I had sat back quietly for long enough. It was time for my answers.

"Well, I received a phone call from an old friend of mine. His coven has had slight problems with the Volturi in the past, but nothing major." Carlisle paced the room while he spoke. "However, he seems to have adopted a rather gifted son some time back, and now the Volturi are quite interested. And not just mildly so. Word is, that Aro himself has given the order to get this individual at all costs."

"Ok…. So what's the big deal? We just go in there and make sure that doesn't happen? Or are we supposed to protect him or something?"

"It's a little more complex than that Jacob. See, the boy is extremely gifted, but it can apparently get volatile if he feels threatened."

"Volatile?" I interrupted in confusion. "What the hell is his gift?"

"I'm not sure. He won't say."

"How the fuck are we supposed to help then?" This was turning out to be a complete waste of my time.

"Yeah. Some friend you got there Dr. Cullen. How do we know this isn't a setup?"

"He's just very protective of him. He's had some issues in the past with coven members being recruited by the Volturi. And it's not a setup, don't worry about that. They are totally trustworthy."

"Alright so you trust them. Still doesn't answer our question on what you want us to do." Carlisle sighed at my frustration, but never appeared to be irritated by it. He must have gotten used to this impatient behavior.

"The Volturi main guard are rumored to be the collectors. All we want you to do is keep your distance and disable them temporarily."

"You want us to take them into custody." Finally a grin reached my face. Maybe this wasn't a waste of time after all.

"Precisely." Even Carlisle had a small smile tugging at his lips. We all knew what it meant to take the main guard captive. Not only was it taking away an extraordinary amount of power, it could lead to possible information that we so desperately need.

"Alright then." I couldn't help the smile growing exponentially on my face. "When do we leave and where are we going?"

"Tomorrow morning. Egypt."


	24. Too Close For Comfort

**A/N: Well, I decided to throw all you wonderful dedicated readers a bone here and have a lemon this chapter. It's been a very long time. ;)  
**

* * *

 _Bad news like a sucker punch, what do you say?_

 _Air knocked out of my lungs, your cue to stay_

 _When you hear something difficult don't back away_

 _Some people say nothing, good ones engage_

 _Don't turn your back on me_

 _Don't bury your head deep_

 _Just cause you don't know what to say_

 _Don't turn your back on me_

 _Don't bury your head deep_

 _Just cause you don't know what to say_

 _It's true_

 _That it kicks you in the teeth when you are least expecting_

 _Bad news_

 _Oh it beats you black and blue before you see it coming_

* * *

 **Chapter 24:** **Too Close For Comfort**

 **Alice POV:**

 _"You know, this isn't exactly what I had in mind when you said we were going away for the weekend."_

 _"What were you thinking it would be love?" Bella smiled mischievously from her spot right next to me on our hotel bed._

 _"Well I thought you'd take me to some local bed and breakfast or something. Not this!" I gestured to our window with a perfect view of the Eiffel tower outside. Bella merely laughed harder and nuzzled into my neck._

 _"I have a four day weekend, and you deserve much more than a local bed and breakfast." I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped my lips as she tickled me with her butterfly kisses._

 _"Why Paris?"_

 _"Why not?" Her tone had been slowly melting into a sultrier one during our conversation, but now it was positively dripping sex. My legs quivered under her gentle touches, however innocent she made them out to be. Nothing ever seems so innocent when you're naked. "I want to travel the world with you. Everywhere. So why not start with Paris?" Bella began to trail her kisses across my collarbone and I was having trouble concentrating on her words because of it. "You can shop, and I can do this."_

 _There was only one thing in the world that could take my mind off of shopping, and that would be my girlfriend on top of me, giving me her undivided attention._

 _"Explore the world huh?" My voice was coming out in a breathy squeak. "No complaints here." The body hovering over mine shook with silent laughter at my flummoxed behavior._

 _"Good." She dragged her tongue down my chest and circled each nipple with it slowly, drawing a loud moan from me. "Show me what you want."_

 _One of the better techniques we used to help with Bella's control problems was this. She would keep her spot on top to settle that alpha wolf of hers, but would let me control her from underneath. It was a great compromise and gave us each what we wanted._

 _"Right here." I carefully maneuvered her to nestle between my legs, having my thigh between hers._

 _"Yeah?" Her usual cocky sex voice held a bit of hesitance and nervousness in it._

 _"Yes." I lightly giggled at her apprehension and leaned up to kiss her._

 _I embedded one hand into her hair and my other cupped her cheek while we kissed. Her arms were like steel bridge cables, keeping her balanced above me. The muscles were taught and wound up from the vulnerability of the position._

 _"Just relax baby. You know I won't ever do anything to hurt you. Let me take care of this." Bella's flushed face nodded at my words and I felt now was the time to do something. My leg moved tentatively upwards against her and I immediately received a reaction._

 _"Oh fuck." Her hips jerked involuntarily against me and she buried her head down next to mine. "Fuck that feels so good." I smirked at my success and turned slightly to give her ear a small nip._

 _"Told you I know how to do things." After my smartass comment, I hushed down to focus on the task at hand._

 _The minutes ticked by and sweat was running down Bella's body from the exertion. I was losing control of my own hips and they were moving on their own accord. Bella's breathy moans, gasps, and muttered curse words were driving me up the wall with the need for release. I'm sure the sounds I was making were very much the same and were having a similar effect on her._

 _"Ah fuck. Alice, Alice I'm –"_

 _"I know. Me too. Just don't stop." Getting those words out was very difficult. I was starting to feel the familiar heat work its way up from my toes._

 _Seconds later, I felt Bella's muscles clamp down and move erratically against me, a strangled moan of pleasure escaping her lips. My orgasm came just as hard and I finally collapsed, taking us both down._

 _We laid in a heap of hot and cold flesh, too tired to move an inch. I drew lazy circles all along her back, perfectly content. After several long minutes, she finally decided to pull herself up and snuggled down next to me. I propped up on my elbow and quirked an eyebrow at her._

 _"Traveling the world with you. Where to next?"_

 ** _Ring! Ring Ring!_**

"Shit!" I scrambled out of my day dream memory quickly to find the phone that interrupted it. "Hello?"

 _"Hey Al it's me. I was just calling to check in with you real quick before we land."_ I sighed in relief at the sound of Liam's voice on the other end.

He was currently in route to Egypt to hopefully capture the main guard. I did not like him being in that much danger without Bella on his side. Sure Jacob was a strong fighter, but he was just a kid. He didn't have the experience or tactical thinking that Bella did. Well, I mean I guess Liam and Bella were really still just kids, but they never acted like it.

"Are you worried?"

 _"Not too much. I think we'll be good. We're going to keep our distance and take them out from there. If it all goes to plan, they won't even know what hit them until they wake up in our custody."_

The plan was pretty solid. Liam and Jacob were each given a high powered sniper riffle with bullets highly concentrated in venom. So concentrated in fact, that it would knock out any vampire hit with it for a period of time. One of Carlisle and Jasper's more genius inventions if I do say so myself. So Liam would take one spot and Jacob another, quick and easy fish in a barrel.

"Still. I worry."

 _"I know you do. So I cleared it with Colt so you and Zoey can watch from the control room when we get there. Sound good?"_

"Actually yeah. Thank you Liam." I beamed at his thoughtfulness.

 _"It's no problem Al. Just keep my girl calm, alright?"_

"Deal!" He chuckled and there were a few noises in the background.

 _"Ok I gotta go. I'll see you soon!"_ He hung up rather abruptly, probably to get Jacob ready. I sighed again and flopped back down on my mattress, thinking about that wonderful memory that I was horribly taken out of.

Really I hadn't intended on reliving that particular one. I was just thinking about Bella and wondering where she was right now, and it just sort of popped into my head.

"Fuck that was good." I groaned before getting up to change.

* * *

"What's our ETA?"

"Three minutes sir."

Liam and Jacob had landed about thirty minutes ago and were on their way to each of their positions. Each would have a perfect view of Amun's compound, where the guard was expected to arrive at any minute now.

 _"I'm in position. Standing by for Jake."_ Liam called through the receiver. Almost everyone in the room shared a look of apprehension. I think we all worried about how Jacob would do.

 _"I'm here. Sorry about the delay."_ Now Jake's slightly out of breath voice called through. I'm sure his nerves were going crazy.

"Eyes on the compound. Tell me what you see." Colt was pacing around the room while he spoke, a nervous tick he did during particularly stressful missions.

 _"Nothing yet sir."_

"Alright Jackson. Just keep me updated."

 _"Copy that."_

Almost ten minutes went by with absolutely nothing. We all sat watching our two little dots on the overhead map with baited breath.

 _"I got movement."_ Jacob seemed excited that he was finally getting some action his way when he called it.

 _"We have three black SUVs pulling in. Reinforced by the looks of them."_ The room went rigid in tension. _"Amun is coming out to greet them…. Oh holy fuck. Shit!"_

"What?!"

 _"Colt we have the whole fucking Volturi down here. I'm talking Aro, Caius, the entire main guard, and even some of the secondary."_

My stomach dropped to the floor. Zoey's heartrate started beating rapidly and I went over to hold her hand.

"Get out of there now. You are outnumbered and do not have enough supplies. I repeat, get out of there right fucking now. Do you copy?" Colt's voice was shaking as he finally stopped moving, his face had lost all its color.

 _"Jake pull out now. No sudden movements alright? I'll keep an eye on them while you move and then you do the same."_

 _"Copy."_ Jacob's little red dot started to move, I watched Carlisle's station and saw extremely high heartrates from them both. No surprises there. My own leg was bouncing up and down from it.

 _"Keep moving Jake. The guards are starting to sweep the area. We don't have much time."_ Zoey clutched tighter onto my hand.

 _"I'm out of the area now Liam, but I lost my vantage point. I can't see where they are anymore."_

 _"I know. I'm going to have to eyeball this."_

"Liam." Colt said a warning through gritted teeth.

 _"I don't really have a choice here Colt. They're getting closer and we need to keep Jacob safe."_ Now Liam's tiny dot began to move and Colt pinched his nose in frustration. This was much too close for anyone's liking. _"Fuck!"_

"What now?!" Zoey and I nearly jumped out of our seats.

 _"I miscalculated my footing on the jump down. Fuck I think my leg is broken."_ There was now almost no air being drawn in the control room. Zoey blanched and Colt even looked at her briefly.

He was now a sitting duck, with the entire Volturi coming his way.

"Listen to me, you need to get out of there now. Crawl if you must. You know the consequences if you fail. Just give it everything you possibly can."

 _"I'm fucking trying!"_ You could hear the effort and pain in his grunt. His dot was making too slow of progress.

 _"Let me help him!"_ Jake cried out in a panic.

"No! You are mortal! If you get caught as well you're dead. You stay where you are and that's an order."

 _"I'm not leaving him!"_

"Restrain him!" Colt yelled into another radio with the support team in the safe zone. There was a small scuffle in the background, but Jacob's dot didn't move anymore.

Zoey began to shake against me and tears were falling.

I knew what she was about to feel. There was nothing I could do to stop it. There was nothing I could do to make her feel better. I was absolutely helpless.

 _"They're getting closer. I can smell them. I'm sorry, I can't go any further."_ The room was in a stale silence, like listening to someone's last words on their deathbed. _"I'm so so sorry. Zoey, I – "_

And then his dot jumped off the map, a ringing silence in its wake.

 **Liam POV:**

My body had given up. My nostrils had been filled with the Volturi's scent closing in. I knew my luck had run out.

But something hard pulled me away, down and into another building. Something with a strong hand keeping my mouth shut in case I screamed.

I had closed my eyes in preparation for my inevitable capture. So when I opened them, I probably would have screamed if I could.

Bella Swan was standing before me, one hand still firmly pressed against my mouth, the other with a finger over her own lips to make sure I hushed. But that wasn't what wanted to make me shout in terror.

Her eyes were once again back to the shade of a deep dark red.

She kept us quiet and still for a few more minutes, focusing on the sounds outside and away from us. I was still just trying to wrap my head around her eyes. She didn't seem to have her emotions off. Her movements were careful and thought out, and of course there was the fact that she just saved me.

No, she definitely still had them on. So why did she switch her diet after working so hard to get off blood?

"What the hell are you doing here?" She finally yelled at me once determining the coast was clear.

"What am I doing here?! What are you doing here?! And why the fuck are your eyes red Bella?" She rolled her eyes and dragged me further into the building, but my leg was still very broken. I let out an involuntary whimper of pain. Bella caught on quick and supported me up more.

"What do you think I'm doing? I told you I'd be hunting down the Volturi. Did you think I was lying?" She seemed to be more annoyed with me than anything else, which of course just pissed me off.

"Actually, you never fucking told _me_ anything. Alice was the only one fortunate enough to receive a letter." The ice in my tone caused her to cringe, but maybe that was just the mention of Alice's name. However, almost as soon as it came, the emotion left her face again.

"Just go home Liam. You've already fucked up the plan I've worked weeks for."

"Plan?! What plan?! You had the whole fucking Volturi there and you're telling me that you somehow had a plan to take them all out on your own. Bullshit!" The anger I had been holding inside of me for weeks was finally spilling out.

"Of course I had a plan! I actually think things through, unlike you! What the hell were you thinking bringing Jake into this? The kid could have been fucking killed! And then you go and wear a god damn computer's worth of tech on you into the field. You don't think they can track that shit?!" Bella was almost as enraged as I was, and pointed to the ground where she had smashed my earpiece and tracker when she grabbed me.

My brain was slowly catching up to it all and I felt extremely stupid and unprepared. But I didn't want her to know that. I was still beyond furious at her abandonment and lack of communication.

"I'm just trying to do my fucking job Bella!

"And I told you that I would handle it!"

"NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU NEVER TOLD _ME_!"

Our argument had finally come to its head, and it left me nearly out of breath. Bella was still highly agitated and she ran a hand over her face before speaking to me as calmly as she could.

"Look, what's done is done. You need to go back to safety and stay there. Trust me when it comes to this, I'll take care of them." She reached behind her and pulled out a few spare medical supplies out of a backpack, beginning to work on a make-shift splint for my leg.

"They hurt me too Bells." I called softly while she worked. It was ignored as expected. Once done, she stood up and got ready to leave again. "Why are your eyes red?" I had to at least try and ask before she left. I couldn't very well chase after her with my leg.

Bella turned back to glance at me briefly before walking away.

"Just go home Liam. Let me take care of this."


	25. Well Thought Out

**A/N:** **DxGRAYxMAN - You are a warrior my dude, but still a no. I gotta give you a win though. So my last and final clue (really you can just google this): The one and only Miss Ashley Greene was born and raised here (a fun fact I actually just found out not too long ago). So it has significance in the books, and in the life of the actors.**

 **Anyways, again thank you all for your wonderful patience. It's been hectic, but in a good way :) Loving life right now  
**

* * *

Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night

Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies

Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light

And if you don't love me now

You will never love me again

I can still hear you saying

You would never break the chain

* * *

 **Chapter 25:** **Well Thought Out**

 **Alice POV:**

Zoey was inconsolable, a complete and total wreck, and I couldn't blame her. The only sounds in the room were that of her sobbing and my trying to comfort her. There were a few movements in the background as time ticked by, personnel not knowing exactly what to do now. Carlisle tried his hand at calming Zoey, but it was a lost cause and I knew that. The only thing to do was to sit and wait for the worst part to blow over.

Colt began to give orders for everyone to clear out of the area sometime later. They were still in danger, and without Liam they were helpless.

Jacob was clearly shaken. He still held a bit of resentment in his tone as well, but I think he knew he would be dead if he had gone to help.

In the midst of getting everyone ready and boarded, Jacob swore loudly into his earpiece. It was a shocked and surprised kind of curse, so everyone seemed to assume the worst.

"What? What's wrong?" Colt nearly shouted into his radio.

 _"N-nothing. Um, it's… Liam."_

"Sorry, what?"

 _"He's… uh. He's here."_ There was a stunned silence that greeted this. Surely Jacob must be in some kind of stress related hallucination. The smallest flicker of hope crossed Zoey's face.

"What do you mean he's there?"

 _"Don't worry, he's not having a mental breakdown."_ Liam's voice suddenly cut in and there was an audible gasp around the room. Zoey clutched her chest as her heart nearly exploded with joy and relief. The poor girl might suffer a heart attack with the varying emotions of the day. _"I'm here. I'm alright."_

"How did-? Why are your-? How in the hell did you get away unscathed?" Colt, like everyone else, was utterly flabbergasted at Liam's safety.

 _"It's a long story, I can explain when I get back. But right now my leg is fucking killing me and I just want to go home and see my girl."_ Exhaustion was laced in his voice and you could tell it had been an ordeal. Colt sighed reluctantly but nodded.

"Understandable. But I'll hold you to that explanation. See you soon." Liam responded in the affirmative and pretty soon they were on their way back home.

While almost all the tension had gone, a few of us were still on edge. Zoey refused to let go of my hand, Carlisle paced back and forth rapidly, and Colt looked like his hair might fall out with the stress it was undergoing. When the rest of the family heard the news they were just as confused as us.

How on Earth did he manage to get away?

Of course I'm relived as hell at his safety, but there was something in his voice. It was a kind of stress I've heard before in him, and it was never a good thing.

Liam and Jacob arrived a bit later, each one completely out of energy. Liam was hounded on right away for his story, but Carlisle waved them off until he had properly taken care of his leg.

"So? What happened?" Colt finally asked once things were settled.

"There was a manhole near me when I was about to give up. I made a last ditch attempt, got rid of all my gear, and jumped in. Had to wait some time in there before I felt safe enough to leave."

"A manhole? Liam you were mid-sentence when you cut out! You expect me to believe this shit?"

"Look I know I've lied in the past, but I'm telling the truth. There was no time to finish any sentences. I saw my chance and I took it." Colt sighed once again, but took it.

"Alright. Just get some rest. I'll talk to you more in the morning. I want a full debrief."

"Yes sir."

We left Liam and Zoey alone for a while, I'm sure they were overdue for some much needed couples therapy after the nightmare of today. I went back to my place and sat in my favorite armchair, thinking about this supposed manhole story.

Sure, I guess it could make sense. But it wouldn't explain the strain I could feel from him. There was also the fact that he kept side-eyeing me throughout. I didn't want to draw any ridiculous hypotheses, but something was definitely up. Something he would risk lying to his boss for.

My chest tightened at the thought of the only thing, or should I say person, he would do such a thing for.

Bella.

Something happened and it had to do with Bella.

Almost right on cue, there was a small knock on my door, and Liam's request to enter on the other side.

"Come in." The door opened and he gave me a small grin before limping his way over towards me. I got up to help him, but he waved a hand for me not to.

"It actually helps the healing process for me to do this on my own. Thank you though." He sat opposite of me and we both stared at one another. I didn't want to be the one that spoke first about this. Besides, it was his story to tell. "So I'm sure by now you have probably theorized that the manhole story is not true?" I nodded and he smiled gently once more. "Figured."

"Why did you lie?"

"I thought about telling the truth. I actually debated it the whole ride home. But in the end, I figured it was best to keep this to myself. And now you." My muscles were tense with anticipation. "Alice." He started, the humor that was almost always present on his face now gone. "It was Bella. Bella was there. She's the one that saved me."

Yes, I suspected it had something to do with her, but hearing it was another thing. I was a mix of being elated at her known safety, anger at the fact that she was still abandoning me, and sadness about how Liam got to see her and I couldn't.

"H-how is she?" Liam was silent for a moment or two, struggling to find the right words.

"I would say on edge. We argued for most of the time. I think right now she's so laser focused on her goal, that she's losing sight of other important things. She's in full soldier mode." I listened quietly, trying not to break down this time.

"There's something else, isn't there? You're nervous about it, I can tell." He nodded and bit his lip, now staring at his lap instead of me. This behavior painfully reminded me of how Bella acted when she didn't want to tell me something.

"H-her eyes are red Alice."

"What?" I wasn't sure I heard his words properly, because they made absolutely no sense. From the scene he just described, it sounded like Bella definitely still had her emotions on. Why else would they argue? Or why else would she be so focused on revenge? But then if her eyes were red, why would she want to hurt innocent humans? Did she fall off the wagon by accident? We had worked so tirelessly to get her back on track, why was it just thrown away? "Why?"

"I don't know. She seemed to be in control. I tried asking her but she just brushed me off." I sat there in shock, trying to think of any reason why Bella would do such a thing.

"Are you sure they were red? Maybe it was just a trick of the light or something."

"Alice."

"Fuck I know alright! I'm just trying not to believe!" I stood up angrily and paced the room, ranting all my thoughts that came to mind. "Why? Why would she do such an idiotic thing? She told me she doesn't like hurting people! Was that just another lie? Do I even know her at all?" I cried out and tugged on my hair, my mental breakdown was on the verge of rearing its head.

"Jesus Alice calm down. Of course you know her." Liam had to step in and catch me before I went any further in my accusations. "You married her for god's sake."

"That doesn't mean shit if she's not honest with me!"

"Hey easy. She is. I mean for the most part." He corrected himself hastily. "Alice, the way she feels about you, she's never felt about anyone. You are her number one priority."

"But I don't want to be!" I wriggled out of Liam's clutches and went back to my pacing. "I just want to be her partner! Her equal! I hate the fact that she thinks she has to protect me!"

"Give her a break Al. I mean, didn't you feel that way when she was human?"

"Of course I did." Quickly I reflected on all the times I worried about Bella's safety during her human days, even more so than Edward. Just the difference between us was, I gave her my trust. "But humans are extremely fragile. And you know Bella, she's a danger magnet." I rounded and pointed a finger at him. "But I never took away her freedom. I trusted the fact that she could take care of herself to some extent."

"I know. And Bella feels the same way. She isn't hovering over you, but she still wants to protect you. Physically and mentally." I huffed out my irritation and slumped back into my chair.

"I just wish we were more of a team. That's what I want." Liam's hand reached out and held onto mine.

"You will be. Just give it some time. "

We talked for most of the evening, I wanted every little detail of his encounter with my mate. I was worried sick about her state of mind, and this just proved my point.

Lashing out at Liam for trying to do his job? Switching diets? Only focusing on her plans and that alone? She sounded close to breaking. I didn't want my wife returning without the ability to express her emotions.

"So she had a plan? A plan to take down the entire Volturi in Egypt?" I asked for about the hundredth time, it just didn't seem possible.

"Yes. She was explicit about that." I grunted and closed my eyes from the stress. "Look I gotta get some rest Al. It's been a long day. Will you be alright?"

"Hm?" I had apparently zoned out. "Oh. Oh yeah. Go ahead Liam. I'm sorry for keeping you so long."

"It's no problem. I figured you'd want all the details." He got up and pat my knee as he did so. "Night Alice."

"Night Liam."

Once the door closed behind him, I shut my eyes again. I was trying to search for any futures or decisions the Volturi were making, but they had learned how to shut me out long ago. It aggravated me to no end.

"Dammit Bella! What are you doing?" Frustration was frying every nerve in my body. How can someone I love so much, make me this damn angry? Fucking passion. Pain in my ass.

I finally resigned to getting up and taking a shower, maybe that would refresh and jumpstart my mind.

About midway through, a sudden idea popped into my head. Something so idiotic I initially rolled my own eyes at it. But the more I thought, the more sense it made.

They say the longer couples are together, the more like each other they get.

Well that may definitely ring true, because this was something only Bella would do.


	26. Bonnie and Clyde

_Well it's the story of the two_

 _Always on the move_

 _They got nothing left to lose_

 _'Cept their guns and their wounds_

 _Now they're crossing borders_

 _Sheriff's posse on their tail_

 _They'd rather die together_

 _Than be stuck up in a cell_

* * *

 **Chapter 26:** **Bonnie and Clyde**

 **Bella POV:**

"Fuck! I had them! I was so fucking close!" My body was absolutely shaking with anger. Seething, I punched the nearest wall, shattering it and my hand. I sat down and watched it start to heal.

"Once again, you prove yourself disappointing." Of course Vladimir and Stefan decided to show up after my epic failure. I growled at their presence.

"Are you incapable of shutting the fuck up?" I was already beyond pissed at this day, I didn't need them here making it any worse. But they merely sneered at my comment.

"Oooh. Someone's a feisty little wolf today. Does the doggy want to come out and play?"

"Back off." My words came out rough, control wavering.

"Easy there puppy. We're not here for any trouble. We just came to watch the supposed downfall of the Volturi."

"Yeah, well it's been postponed." I moved to go around them, shoulder checking Stefan as I did so. But he grabbed me and spun me around, his joking face had dropped.

"Postponed, or cancelled?"

"Delayed." I yanked my arm out of his grip and continued to walk to the other side of the room. My skin was crawling with their close proximity. "And I would be doing a lot better if you weren't breathing down my neck all the fucking time!"

"We want to check on the progress of our investment Miss Swan."

"I am _not_ your investment."

"But you've taken our advice I see."

"So what? I'm free to make my own decisions on how I go about my revenge." They just continued to leer and it was fueling my irritation. "Look, I've had a really shitty day. Now if you could please have some decency and leave me alone, that would be great."

"No problem Miss Swan."

"We'll be in touch." The two left just as fast as they had come, leaving me alone to fume as I had requested.

Where to begin? There were so many reasons for my frustration.

Fucking Liam and his inability to think things through. If I hadn't been able to get to him in time, who knows what would have happened. Sometimes he acts like the kid he was before all this crap. He can't do that shit, not now.

Then there was the man in charge. Colt. Why on Earth did he agree to bring Jake into this? He could have been killed in an instant. Or worse. Jake _is_ just a kid. I can't be mad at him for going along. I'm sure he was excited as all hell to get the chance. Someone with a level head should have put their foot down on it.

The combination of drinking human blood and being away from Alice for so long was not a good one. My emotions were close to the surface, any minor incident would leave me upset. So this disaster of a day was too much for me.

Eventually I made my way back to my makeshift apartment. The building had been abandoned with minimal supplies, but I made it work. I wasn't supposed to be here for that long, but now that might have changed. Things were pretty up in the air at this point.

I managed to cool off a bit more and grabbed a bag of blood from my personal supply, drinking it in silence to rest my mind. I needed to start from scratch tomorrow morning, and that required a good night of sleep. After punching my crappy little cot into a more comfortable position, I rolled to sleep.

* * *

The sun woke me up the next morning, it was much too bright for my liking. Without even noticing, I growled at it. I growled at the fucking sun. Good lord. Who knew drinking blood would make me this crabby all the time. It was like having a constant killer hangover.

I would quit but I knew I couldn't. The job that I set out to do needed to be seen through, and then there was the problem of quitting cold turkey.

So for the time being I was stuck with my control hanging on by a thread.

After a couple hours of debate, I decided to stay a few more days in town. My plan was to get in touch with Benjamin. I had done so successfully. The two of us could easily finish off the Volturi, that I was sure of. The problem now however, he had fled once he saw I wasn't going to make it in time. Not that I blame him at all for it, I would have done the same. Unfortunately I have no idea where he went. I knew he'd be back for his family, but so did the Volturi.

They were hanging around as well. This made my job of tracking down Benjamin again particularly difficult. Every step I took had to be thoroughly thought through.

* * *

Five days went by like this. My muscles were shot to hell with their constant tension. I knew I needed to hunt as soon as possible as well. But it was difficult to do so when I had to plan my every move for it, and my mind hadn't had any proper rest for a long time. Eventually I grew too weak to go on without, so I planned a trip to the nearest hospital for a little raid on their blood supply.

I kept my hood up and head down to keep a low profile, I didn't need wandering eyes from any humans. That could blow things for me. But I know how to break into a place real well.

With a full backpack, I started my way back to my building. Front door in sight, I mistakenly took a breath of relief, only to have all the breath knocked out of my body seconds later.

"Funny to meet you here, _173952_."

My mouth went dry as I came face to face with Alec and Demetri. I was completely and utterly fucked.

There were two of them, both experienced and skilled fighters. Then there was me, who hadn't even had the chance to feed yet.

They had backed me into the corner of an abandoned alleyway rather quickly. I was busy trying to think of any way to get out of this alive.

"You're not going anywhere this time."

"Well, you know what they say. Third time's the charm." I was trying to stall, anything to give me more time to think. They both chuckled knowing exactly what I was doing.

"Oh how I've missed that attitude. I can't wait to wipe that smile off your face." Demetri took a step closer towards me and I knew it was now or never.

"I'm afraid you might have to wait a while for that." I went for broke and lunged at him.

By some stroke of luck, I caught them off guard with the ballsy move. Demetri's arm was ripped off before Alec was able to pull me away. But I wasn't going down without a fight, I never would.

Since Demetri was already injured, he was now my main target. If I could get rid of him it would only be Alec and I, and Alec doesn't like when he can't use his gift.

"Get her off me!"

"I'm trying!" But my desperation was too strong. I kicked Alec back into a wall and beheaded Demetri. Success. "You bitch!" Alec, now fuming, tackled me hard for the damage I did.

We struggled for several long minutes, each getting multiple good hits in. He had broken a couple of my ribs and I had ripped off a few of his fingers. But he finally pulled the upper hand and pinned me against the wall with his good hand wrapped around my neck precariously. We were both panting and out of breath.

If this was the way I went down I could live with that. I knew I gave it my all. Alec smirked and reached for his cell phone.

"Aro will be so pleased to hear of your return." He was about two numbers in to dialing before his head was ripped from his body, consequently dropping me on the ground in utter shock.

"No. He won't." I squinted up at the person who had just saved my life as they spoke to Alec's body.

My heart stuttered to a temporary stop. Alice, my Alice, was standing over the scene, eyes blazing, lighter in hand. It was honestly the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

I stood up without taking my eyes off of her. She was pissed, that I could tell easily. At me and at the danger she had just demolished. But I didn't care. There was only one thing on my mind at the moment.

She must have noticed the look in my eye, because our bodies met in the middle and collided, lips desperately claiming the other.

The fire returned to my veins, the one I hadn't felt in ages. I wanted her. I needed her. Now.

Seeing as she didn't know where exactly to go, I led her into my place, all the while keeping her body and lips firmly attached to mine. She only pulled away for a moment, gasping for unnecessary air.

"I'm still mad at you."

"I know." I nodded and went back to my previous position.

There was going to be a fight later, that's for sure, but now was not the time. The sexual frustration had reached an all-time high in our relationship. The bubble was ready to burst, it couldn't take it anymore.

I pushed her against the wall, the bed was much too flimsy for what we were about to do, and ripped the shirt off her body as if it were made of butter. Alice moaned into my mouth at the feeling of air across her bare chest. She dug her nails into my back and tore the shirt I wore into shreds, leaving small cuts in its place. Her hands raked their way down my abdomen where she made a move for my pants, but I grabbed the intruders and pinned them above her head.

"No." I growled out distractedly. Alice struggled for a few seconds, but let me have my way. She rolled her head back to give me more access to her neck. However, I only sucked on it briefly before tearing her jeans off. The onslaught of emotions I had been feeling for the past several weeks all seemed to team up and make me extremely sexually aggravated by this woman in my hands.

Alice released a groan of pleasure and relief when I began to rub her clit with my thumb, teasing her entrance with my fingers. She started to quietly chant my name the harder and faster I rubbed.

"Inside." She finally growled at me. "I need you inside of me."

I could tell from the way her words and legs trembled that she was seconds away from coming. And she was oh so clever. The moment I distracted myself complying her request, she snuck her free hand down my pants.

Now we were both leaning on each other, panting and crying out at the sensations that we were deprived of for so long. I vowed right then and there that I would never go more than a week without touching her like this.

"Oh fuck! Bella!" Her muscles clamped down on my fingers, immediately bringing on my orgasm in turn.

It was long overdue. The feeling may have lasted hours, or a few seconds, it felt just the same.

I had squeezed my eyes shut, and when I finally came back to the world and opened them, I found that we had both collapsed into a heap on the floor.

All the energy left in my body was drained. The day had been very long.

Alice knew me all too well and propped me up against her, pulling us into my tiny cot. She even wrapped a blanket around us as she snuggled into my side. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought the past seven months hadn't happened. The position was so familiar and comfortable, I almost forgot about our looming fight.

"Are you going to start yelling?" I whispered into her hair. She sighed and softly rubbed the bruises on my neck that Alec had left.

"No, not yet. We can hash it out in the morning. Let's just enjoy tonight. You look like you haven't slept in weeks." I smiled and kissed her forehead gratefully.

"Thank you."

"Just go to sleep Bella. I'll be here when you wake."

* * *

The next morning came much faster than I had wanted. I would much rather have spent more time in our embrace than start our day of fighting.

Alice must have been thinking the same way, because when she noticed I was awake she just continued to play with my hair.

"I missed you." Her voice held vulnerability in it, and it made me feel worse.

"I know." I sighed, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed. "I missed you too." My fingers caressed her face softly and she closed her eyes contently. "Alice -"

"Don't." She put a finger to my lips to hush me. "Don't say it. Can't we just stay like this? Why can't we be together again? Like this?" To make her point she leaned over to kiss me tenderly. I got lost in her again and almost forgot what we were talking about. But I remembered with a pang of guilt and pulled away, sitting up as I did so.

"You have no idea how much I want to. I do. But nothing has changed since- since I left." I couldn't bear to look at her when I admitted what I had done. "I still need to protect you. Protect us."

"I can protect myself pretty well Bella. And in case you forgot what happened yesterday, I'm pretty good at protecting you too."

"How _did_ you find me?"

"Liam said you had had a plan, and I know you. If you had a plan that wasn't finished, you would stay until it was. And I was right. Thank god I got there in time." She sat up with me and stroked my newly healed neck. But I shrugged away from her touch. I didn't want to get addicted to it again, not when I needed to leave her.

"You're in danger when you're with me. I don't want that for you."

"Yeah and so are you."

We sat in silence again. I knew she had a point. She had several great points. I honestly had no case for myself anymore, especially after yesterday. And fuck, I really wanted her to stay. Deep inside of me, I never wanted to let go of her.

Alice suddenly got up from the bed and went over to my forgotten backpack by the door. She rummaged in it momentarily before returning with a blood bag in hand.

"Here." She handed it to me gingerly. "You look like you need to feed. In a bad way." I looked at her with disbelief etched all over my face. She only smiled and touched the circles underneath my eyes. "I put two and two together."

"But -"

"I don't one hundred percent agree with your decision, but it was yours to make. And I know you probably did it to build your strength and stamina, yes?" I nodded dumbly. "Well, as long as you don't lose yourself, I'm _ok_ with it." She pushed the bag further into my chest, encouraging me to drink.

It felt weird to feed with her next to me. I wanted to do my best and look as in control as I possibly could.

But she sat silently with no judgement passed, waiting for me to finish. I felt a thousand times healthier after the nourishment.

"Better?" She asked, taking the empty bag from my hands and tossing it aside.

"Much. Thank you."

"Good." She chirped happily. "Now, do you want to argue more about my staying, or would you rather just admit that you need me?"

"Alice, of course I need you. I'd never dispute that fact. But I need you safe as well. When you're with me, here, you're not."

"Neither are you."

"Yes, but it's different for me."

"How so?"

"Because I can't die!" Did she seriously not understand this? I was truly immortal, she wasn't.

"Trust me, you can." She whispered solemnly, reaching out to place a hand over my chest. I groaned, knowing exactly what she meant.

"It's not the same Al."

"It is for me. I can't love someone who's incapable of it. It would break my heart to look into your eyes one day and see no life, no spark. It would kill me."

"Al –"

"Come on Bella!" She jumped out of bed and started bouncing around, a telltale sign of there being too many thoughts racing around her head. "Just stop fighting me and think about it for a second! We could do this together, be a real team! You and me, traveling the world together and killing whoever stands between our goal and us. We could be fucking Bonnie and Clyde!"

"Yeah, and that story ended real well."

"Oh just shut up." She huffed out at my rebuttal. "Why can't we? We don't have to leave each other's sides, you wouldn't have to be worried about me."

"What about hunting?"

"You can go with me."

"Like last time?"

"Dammit Bella, we're not kids anymore! We've grown up a lot since then! We've been together through thick and thin, I think we can handle a little hunt. Besides, you drink human blood now. You shouldn't even be tempted by animal blood."

Shit she was good. She had a counter for every damn thing I said. I didn't know what to do. My head said no, but my heart said yes.

Alice knew I was having a serious debate in my mind, so she came and sat back down next to me, taking my hands in hers.

"Please. Please don't leave me again." I eventually let out a long sigh of defeat and looked up from my lap into her eyes.

"Alright Bonnie, what next?"


	27. My Debt to You

**A/N: Thank you thank you thank you for all your amazing patience. Work is kicking my ass. The other day I caught sight of myself in the mirror at work and freaked out because I thought I had a black eye. But alas, I'm just that beat down. So I super appreciate your patience now more than ever.**

* * *

 _I've been thinking 'bout tomorrow_

 _Instead of drowning in the past_

 _Oh we had good times even back when_

 _Dreams were all we had to last_

 _So as I wake up this bright morning_

 _Nothing's gonna bring me down_

 _Waves are singing, wind is warm and_

 _Summer's here to stick around_

 _I still, remember me before you_

 _I will, no longer need your rescue_

* * *

 **Chapter 27:** **My Debt to You**

 **Alice POV:**

"A little more to the left."

"Like this?"

"Yeah. Perfect. You ready?"

"I don't know Bells, I've never done this before."

"Come on Al, it's really easy. Just breathe in." Bella moved directly behind me, so close that I could feel the heat radiating off her body. "And squeeze."

With one small movement of a muscle, I made an earth shattering noise with the gun in my hands. The bullet it released hit the tin can target perfectly, just as Bella had predicted. I heard a few small chuckles from her and she leaned down and over to kiss my cheek.

"Told you."

"Must you always be a smart-ass?"

"Of course." I giggled and turned around, wrapping my arms around her neck.

"It is in your nature, isn't it?" She merely nodded and bent down slightly to kiss my lips this time.

"So? What do you think? Easy right?" I carefully handed the gun back and watched her secure it behind in her jeans again.

"Yeah. Not too bad. But I prefer my badass vampirism if that's alright with you." She rolled her eyes dramatically and took my hand to lead us back into the city.

"I'm sorry, who's the smart-ass again?" We both laughed, finally being able to enjoy the long missed light heartedness in our relationship.

Bella and I had temporarily moved to a city just outside of where Amun's coven lived. The Volturi guard had been aggressively searching for answers about the disappearances of two of their top guards. I shivered at the thought of Jane's wrath. Bella, knowing where my thoughts were, draped her arm around my shoulder.

"No one's going to hurt us Al. It's you and me, and no one is getting in between. Not this time."

"I know." I whispered, running my fingers along her jawline. We had stopped right outside our building. "I trust you." Bella smiled and kissed my fingers before leading us inside. "So." I said, transitioning to a lighter topic. "When do I get to meet this famous Benjamin?"

"Whenever he comes back again." She shrugged, walking to the small fridge and getting a fresh blood bag.

"Ugh." I groaned and flopped back onto the bed. "I hate waiting." Bella chuckled quietly.

"You are not a very patient person my dear."

"Says the woman who abandoned me because she couldn't wait for her revenge anymore." I meant it as mostly playful, but a hint of bitterness slipped into my tone. Bella threw her head back in annoyance.

"When are you going to let that go?"

"Hmmmm. Maybe in fifty years or so. It depends on how much your worship me."

"Oh yeah?" She quirked her eyebrow at me in a perverted way.

"Not like that you horndog." She continued to smirk and I couldn't help myself. "Well, maybe a little." Bella grinned even wider and plopped down onto the bed next to me.

"I missed this." I knew exactly what she was talking about. It was so nice to not have our relationship be this serious thing all the time.

"Yeah, me too." I traced my fingers around the semi-permanent dark circles under her eyes. She sighed and stopped my movements with her hand.

"I know. You don't like the way my eyes look now."

"No, it's not that." Bella gave me a questioning look. I had made it pretty clear that her new choice of diet was not my favorite, but I understood. "Sort of. I just miss the old color."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I threw a blanket over the both of us and scooted my way over to her so I was flush against her chest. "And stop saying that. We're banning that word, remember?"

"I forgot. Sor-" I covered her mouth with my hand before she could say it. Her lips vibrated with silent laughter at the realization of her mistake.

"Now, are you going to lay there all day, or are you going to start your worshipping?"

"Ah yes. Please forgive me milady." She had me pinned underneath her in an instant and her eyes were rapidly darkening, leaving only a small crimson ring around her enlarged pupils. Unconsciously, I ensnared my own lip in my teeth and growled impatiently. "You'd think you'd be used to waiting by now."

"I forgot how good you taste." Bella let out a moan at my comment.

"You're going to be the death of me."

"Oh I know." I pulled her head down by her hair and nipped her jugular before kissing her sweet spot. She let out another long moan.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Both of us had automatically started to grind our hips against each other. "I want you." She said breathlessly. "I fucking want you." Oh how I loved it when she said everything that popped into her head. She might not say the most articulate sweet nothings to me, and yet they were perfect because I knew they came from real emotions.

"Baby?" Bella only grunted to let me know she was listening. She was much too preoccupied with getting rid of our clothes. "I want to be on top." Her fingers faltered for a moment and I heard a small whine escape from her, but she rolled us over and complied with my request. "I love you."

"I love you too." I gave her a swift kiss and then sat up on my knees and moved down her body. Knowing me all too well, Bella popped her own knee up to help my cause. I carefully lowered myself onto her body making sure our sexes were perfectly rubbing. "Shit Alice." She dug her nails into my hip with her left hand and I did the same to hers.

The bed squeaked haphazardly from our movements, but I don't think either of us cared or worried one bit about it. Bella was addictive. Once I got one hit, nothing else mattered except getting more. I could never quit her. She should really be illegal.

I grabbed her hand that was firmly attached on my waist and squeezed it desperately. She was getting that matted sex hair I liked so much that told me I was doing a good job. We were both slowly losing our control. Bella kept trying to get a better grip on my hip to pull me down harder into her. I did so cautiously so we wouldn't both come automatically at the pleasurable pressure. I was incredibly horny and I just wanted it to last forever.

"Alice." The way she said my name was absolutely heavenly. The two syllables sounded so smooth and perfect when laced together by her lips. Somehow she could convey all the love in the world that she had for me with just my name. I looked down into her eyes and lost all control of my muscles instantly.

"Fuck! Bella!" I threw my head back and listened to the sound of Bella orgasm right underneath me. Eventually I couldn't hold myself up anymore and I collapsed down onto her heaving chest.

Her body still jerked randomly for a good minute from the aftershocks. Yes, I did indeed do a good job.

After she seemed to come back to reality, I popped my chin up on her chest and giggled at the mess I made of her.

"Hey beautiful." She gently brushed a few stray hairs back from my forehead.

"That was some pretty good worshipping Bells. I think I'll take a few years off your sentence."

"Don't." She whispered, continuing to caress my face. "I want to worship you forever."

* * *

"Alright Bells, you'll stay close right?"

"For the millionth time Al, yes I will."

"I know I know. I'm just worried. We haven't done this in a while." We were going over the logistics of my hunt before we got down to business. I was apprehensive about the entire thing. But Bella was just as laid back as usual, she seemed to be much calmer now with my presence constantly near her.

"And last time you broke my shoulder."

"Thanks for reminding me." I grumbled at the memory, it was not a good one. The before part was however.

"Don't worry love. It's like you said, we've been through a lot since then. No more careless mistakes." She was so level-headed while she spoke that I had no choice but to be relaxed by her words. It was like she knew how to harness Jasper's power on me.

"You're right. I'm being silly. Thank you."

"No problem. I'm pretty used to it by now."

"Shut up!" I laughed and playfully pushed her away.

"Come on Al, we're wasting day light here." Bella patiently waited until I was able to get into my predator mindset. "You ready?" She asked hesitantly once she noticed my posture change.

"I was born ready baby." I threw her a wink and then took off running, not worrying one bit about her falling behind.

She kept a reasonable distance from me so I could focus on the hunt. My ears were perked for the sounds of wildlife, which was slightly difficult to do with Bella's thundering heart nearby. Not that I was complaining, her presence was soothing.

Eventually we stumbled upon a small pond that a pack of gazelles were drinking from. I kept my scent downwind and immediately hid behind a nearby boulder, Bella following close behind. We watched the herd quietly, noting any weak or injured ones.

"Make your pick yet?" I narrowed my eyes, still seeking out which one I wanted the most.

"Yes." I answered once my mind was made up. She flashed me a crooked grin and leaned back to watch the show I was about to put on.

I honed in my senses on my pick, listening to its breathing. Once I felt the timing was right, and I whispered a small apology to my soon to be meal, I pounced.

It was no mountain lion or bear, but after so long without, it tasted amazing. I moaned erotically at the sweet liquid pouring into my mouth. All the others scattered at my disturbance as expected.

"Nine out of ten." Bella called, slowly sauntering over towards me as I finished up my meal.

"Excuse me? That was a perfect ten lady."

"Eh." She shrugged, pretending to be unimpressed. "Your form was good, but your execution was a little sloppy." I growled disapprovingly and grabbed her by the front of the shirt, pulling her neck down with my other hand so I could kiss her ferociously.

"What's my score now?" I cockily asked after pulling my tongue out of her mouth.

"Uhhh." I had actually left her speechless. Happy with my results, I smirked and walked away slowly, swaying my hips as I did so. Yes I'm a tease. And she loves me for it. "W-wait! Wait for me!"

Needless to say, by the time we made it back home, Bella was nearly in a puddle. She pulled me through the door roughly, practically carrying me. But a new scent suddenly filled my nostrils and I shoved her off me in a panic.

"BELLA RUN!" I tried to throw her behind me and protect her from the red eyed intruder standing in our apartment. But she simply put a gentle arm around my waist and hushed calming words into my ear.

"Relax Al. That's Benjamin."


	28. Spoken Fears

_Another night alone, a temporary dream_

 _I came in through your window sleepwalking_

 _Standing arm and arm, still so out of reach_

 _Well, there's nowhere left to go_

 _Stay with me, stay with me_

 _Footsteps on the floor, your body's just a haze_

 _In a rhythm of your own, that's out of phase_

 _Feel my body swoon to hear you say my name_

 _I've got nowhere left to dream_

 _So I'll just stay awake, stay awake_

* * *

 **Chapter 28:** **Spoken Fears**

 **Bella POV:**

My words took some time to sink into Alice. She still struggled against my firm grip on her hip, her instinct from any intruder telling her to do so for my sake.

"B-Benjamin?" She stuttered out, eyes unblinking and trying to comprehend.

"Yes. He means us no harm." I nodded my head at Benjamin for him to speak up and help the situation.

"Your wife is right. I do not wish to hurt anyone." He spoke slowly and raised his hands in a sign of good will. Alice blinked rapidly and swallowed her mouthful of venom.

"S-sorry. I'm so sorry. Instincts got the better of me there."

"I understand love." I kissed the top of her head to further help with calming.

I gestured for Benjamin to sit down on a nearby arm chair and then led Alice over to the couch with me.

"So you're back?" I asked while keeping my hand on Alice's thigh.

"Yes. I am truly sorry for fleeing in the first place."

"No worries. I would have done the same. Once you knew I wasn't coming, it wasn't safe for you anymore." Alice must have finally calmed down enough because I heard her exhale loudly and she placed her hand over mine.

"Sorry again for almost attacking you." She whispered embarrassed at her outburst.

"Well I probably shouldn't have waited here unannounced." Benjamin smiled at his carelessness, his voice was full of this childlike wonder all the time.

"How did you find us?" Alice asked, a sudden alarm overtook her. She was worried about who else may be able to find us if he could.

"He was the one that suggested this apartment." Benjamin nodded at my statement.

"Yes. I thought this would be the perfect distance from the Volturi. Not too close, but not too far. Plus there is abundant wildlife nearby for your particular diet." He eyed Alice curiously while he said this, obviously intrigued by the idea of feeding from animals rather than humans.

"Oh. Thank you." Alice squeaked. She was still uneasy for some reason and I couldn't figure out why.

"Amun rarely talks about your coven. Please pardon my interest, I just never get to meet people." His staring was starting to get the point where it was creepy, but at least I understood where it was coming from.

When Liam and I first escaped the Volturi, there was a time when we could only stare at our surroundings in wonder. Everything around us had suddenly become so fascinating, human and animal life alike. So I could imagine never being able to experience it until now.

I kept feeling Alice's muscles quiver next to mine, she was scared. It concerned the hell out of me, nothing really ever frightened her. I squeezed her hand and leaned down next to her ear.

"What's wrong Al?"

"My instincts are still on edge because of his power." I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion, it's not like he was using it right now. "When a vampire is around someone with a much stronger gift, it sort of keeps us on edge." She explained to me.

"Oh." I kind of didn't really know what else to say. I was perfectly fine around him. Sure, I respected the hell out of his gift, it was as bad-ass as they come, well besides mine of course. But really the only people I was ever like that around were the Volturi, and I chalked that up on the fact that they had tortured me for so long that I was still deeply scarred by it.

Benjamin must have finally noticed Alice's discomfort and he was able to pry his boring eyes away from us. He unnecessarily cleared his throat before speaking.

"I believe we have much to discuss."

* * *

"Do you really believe he'll help us? He abandoned you once before." Our meeting with Benjamin was over and I took Alice for some fresh air after all her held in tension she'd endured.

"I was about to leave him alone to face the entire Volturi Alice, he'd be foolish not to run."

"Yeah well something tells me he could easily take care of them with his gift." She grumbled with distrust and annoyance clearly laced in her tone.

"Why does he bother you so much? I know you have those vampire instincts, but this sounds like something more."

"I don't know." She ran her fingers over her temples in obvious frustration. "I just have this uneasy feeling about him. And of course with you around screwing with my visions I can't _see_ why." I frowned at her, a little put out by the comment. We had been together for so long that I figured she had gotten used to me messing with her visions. I guess not. Alice must have caught sight of my hurt expression because she sighed and hugged me tightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"It's alright." I hugged her back and led us onward. "Talk to me. Tell me about this feeling you have about him." She sighed and leaned into me while we walked.

"I'm not sure. His gift is so strong, it makes me nervous. You saw how he is. He's never really had freedom like this before, so I can imagine what little he's tested his power. The few things he did for us seem like parlor tricks compared to what I believe he can do."

"So you're afraid he'll lose control?"

"Well, it's what newly freed vampires tend to do." I hung my head at her truthfulness. I was no exception to that rule. "Stop thinking about the past love."

"You're right." Some of her hair spikes had flown into my mouth as a spoke from the wind and I had to sputter them out. Alice giggled and pulled away during my awkward struggle.

"How did you ever get along in life without me?"

"I have no idea." I choked out once my idiotic moment of the day was over. "But if I cough up a black hairy fur-ball later, I'll know who to blame." She grinned widely before returning to her place on my shoulder in a somber mood again. "What do you want to do? Should we do it alone instead?"

"No. No, we do need him." She squeezed tighter into my chest. "I'll just be happy when all this is over and done with." I rested my chin on top of her head and pulled her close in return.

"You and me both."

* * *

 _The air around me was full of the smell of salt and seawater, I could feel the spray on my face. My eyes opened to find me on the edge of a cliff, one that felt familiar._

 _"La Push? What am I doing here?" I wondered out loud. I couldn't remember how I got here for the life of me._

 _"Bella. Bella don't." My head whipped around faster than it ever had before at the sound behind me. Alice stood trembling, eyes glazed over and staring blankly ahead._

 _"Alice? Why are we here? What's wrong?" I suddenly because very aware of her violent shaking, it was the kind of shivering humans did when they were freezing. "Alice look at me!" Her lack of any emotion other than fear had begun to frighten me._

 _"I can't live without you. Don't make me." Her eyes were now glassy from tears and an apparent vision. She edged closer to the side of the cliff while crying._

 _"Alice what are you doing? I'm right here! Just look at me!" I was trapped. The woman I loved now stood in front of me, worried to death about my well-being, and I couldn't do anything about it. I went for broke and tried to grab and turn her around, but she was made of stone and even colder than ice._

 _"I love you." She drew in one last ragged breath and gracefully stepped off the edge without warning. I screamed in absolute terror and dove head first after her with no second thoughts._

 _The water hit me like a brick wall, a brick wall made of shards of ice. Alice's small body was drifting just underneath me and I tugged her to the surface with all my might. My lungs stung at the strain they were under, and they cried in pain when I finally broke for air. But as soon as the breath was taken, a wave crashed over us and drowned me again._

 _Alice wasn't moving. She was dead weight and it added to my panic. Forget the fact that she was an immortal vampire, unperturbed by something as trivial as the raging ocean. She was my mate, and I knew she was in danger. A quite literal storm was heading our way, only making the violent waves worse._

 _I looked around desperately for the shore, but suddenly there was none in sight. Water was the only thing surrounding us. I was Alice's only hope, but I knew I couldn't hold us both up. My muscles felt numb and weak, I kept pushing them until they burned._

 _"Hold on Alice, just hold on. I'm not letting you go. Just stay with me." I was gasping at this point. Surely this couldn't be real. The water was dragging me down and I knew I couldn't keep her safe anymore. I couldn't save her._

 _"Let me go Bella. Let go."_

I woke up screaming and drenched in my own sweat, thankfully not seawater. Alice was clutching onto my chest with fearful eyes, worried about what had gotten me so panicked. I could only gulp down the air I thought I had run out of mere moments before. Thankfully my wife let me catch my breath before prying for any answers.

"That was a bad one Bells." She rubbed my shoulders as I sat hunched over with my face in my hands. "Caius or Aro?"

"Neither." I panted out, still shaking hard from the ordeal. "It-it was a nightmare, not a memory." She frowned and moved even closer to my body at this new bit of information.

"Tell me about it."

"Al…" I tried to break free of her grasp on me. I wasn't sure if it was something I could bring myself to tell her. It felt so real, the fact that she was safe in my arms meant a great deal to me right now. I didn't want to frighten her with the image of my nightmare.

"Bella." She kept her iron grip on me like a monkey clinging to its mother. There was a look in her eye that told me she wouldn't let up until I spilled, so I sighed and put my head back in my hands.

"I was on the edge of this cliff in La Push, and-and you were there." Another round of tremors hit and we had to wait until I was in control again. "God Alice everything felt so real. The details around me, Jesus even the smells were exact."

"What happened?" She spoke softly, knowing that I was stalling the bad part.

"Y-you were acting so strangely. You kept mumbling on about me and something you didn't want me to do. I kept trying to get your attention, but, but it was like I wasn't even there. Your eyes were all glassed over and you were crying. And then-and then…"

"And then what?" Alice traced my jawline gently with her fingers, trying to make it easier to speak.

"You said you loved me and you jumped." I was finally able to choke out.

"Bella, you know a thing like that wouldn't hurt me."

"I know. I know that, but it was different there. You were so small, and I couldn't not go after you." A small whine escaped from her lips when I said this. "You kept sinking and you weren't moving. When I was finally able to grab you, you were just there. I tried to get us to shore but all of them had vanished. So it was just you and me, and all this water." My breathing troubles returned once again at the thought and my throat felt scratchy. Almost like I _had_ swallowed all that seawater.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't know what to do." I practically cried out. The pain was still very much there about my almost losing her. "I just kept trying to keep us afloat and I knew I couldn't." I ended quietly and looked down into my lap ashamed. It felt as though I had failed her, even in my sleep.

"Oh Bella. Please stop looking down like that." Alice cupped my chin in her hand and pulled me up to look at her. Her eyes very much mirrored mine, glistening with tears. Unfortunately mine fell. I went to wipe them away hastily, but Alice did so softly before I got the chance.

"I couldn't save you. That's my worst nightmare."

"But it wasn't real Bella. And it never could be."

"That's not the point." I sighed and tried to get away from her again, but she wasn't having it. "The nightmare. It fed on all my deepest fears, the ones I think about every day when you're here with me. In danger."

"Stop that." Her kind tone faltered when she spoke to me. She traded it for a sterner one as she lectured. "Stop doing that Bella. This was my choice to come here and it was mine to stay."

"Yes, but I let you."

"Do you really think so little of me? You know I wouldn't have left no matter how hard you tried. You are very much stuck with me."

"And that's exactly what I'm worried about!" Did she not just hear what she said? "If I drown, so do you."

"I think in the case of your dream, I was the one doing the dragging."

"This isn't the time for jokes Alice!" I was finally able to free myself from her and jump out of the bed away. Angry snarls came from my chest without my knowledge and Alice held her hands up in defense.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Please come back to bed?" I grumbled for a moment or two longer, but it was hard to stay mad when she was being so nice. "Thank you." She kissed my temple when I tentatively crawled back into bed with her. "Now, please don't overthink and agonize over your fears. That's exactly how nightmares become reality." She pushed me down onto my back and laid on my chest so I would go to sleep. "Besides, you need to listen to yourself some more. It's like you said, no one's going to hurt us. Not this time."

* * *

 **A/N: I'm going to go on a little sidetrack for a bit because I've had quite an annoying week on FanFiction.**

 **Look, I think I've made it clear that I am not a professional writer and I don't pretend to be one. I know I'm not the best with words, I work with numbers all day. And yes, I know not everyone is going to like every story on this site. But please, if you don't like a story, please don't berate the writer all day long in the reviews.**

 **Now I'm not going to delete any reviews because I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But come on now. I've been very honest about my writing skills here, and if you're not a fan, please just don't read on.**

 **Also I'm perfectly fine with constructive criticism, I actually do take it into account. That's how I finally figured out a good chapter length further into _Four Walls_. But please don't criticize just to criticize. **

**Alright, rant over. I've just been very frustrated this week. But it makes me appreciate you wonderful readers even more so. So thank you.**


	29. Penance

_I should have known..._

 _God only knows when your word isn't pure_

 _And the blood on your hands isn't yours_

 _I won't believe any word that you tell_

 _And I won't drink the blood if it spills_

 _So give them the story they want you to_

 _Give them the story they want_

 _A kiss to you, girl_

 _Before you fall down and leave me_

* * *

 **Chapter 29:** **Penance**

 **Bella POV:**

"Do you think we have enough blood bags? I don't want you to run out at a bad time."

"Yeah Al. Benjamin already told us he thinks the Volturi will probably try for him again sometime this week. This haul should be plenty." I set the newly filled backpack down and started storing our mini fridge once again with fresh blood bags. Embarrassment and shame occupied my mind at the fact that I had been going through them much more rapidly than anticipated. Alice had been just as wonderful and polite about it as usual, but I knew she noticed. She was worried, and so was I.

"Alright. If you say so." She shrugged and went about trying to clean the tiny apartment while I fed. She eventually gave up and flopped down onto the bed. "You think we're ready?"

"Yeah, I think so." I finished the bag and threw it away, moving to sit down next to her. She was staring at her lap and fidgeting with her hands, obviously apprehensive. "Hey." I grabbed her hands in mine to stop the nervous movements. "Stop worrying so much. Benjamin will be fine, we'll all be fine."

"I know. I know. It just seems to be that if one of us is calm, the other worries. I guess it's my turn." This seemed to be true as of late. It was a blessing in disguise however, because at least one of us could take care of the other. But I hated it when Alice was worried. She looked so small and fragile, a terrible thing for a mate to look at.

"Come on. You just need to take your mind off of it." I had meant talking of some sort, but it appeared as though Alice had a much different idea on how to distract herself. She grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled me down to her lips roughly.

Her cools lips pressed firmly against my overly heated ones, it was sensual as fuck. She knew how to get me worked up, that's for sure.

While I did enjoy it, a lot actually, I was worried it wasn't the most productive of solutions.

"Mmm Al." I painfully pulled away from her. "You know I love your kisses and everything, but this wasn't exactly what I had in mind." She kept her arms wrapped around me and kept inhaling deeply.

"I need you. I need to know you're here with me and you're safe." She had the same look on her face as she did when those nomads killed me so long ago. It was a primal need to know I was ok, even when I was right there with her. "Please."

It was pretty difficult to argue with her when she begged like that. Plus she kept caressing my head and planting small kisses all over my face. So I sighed and let her push me back against the bed, letting her have her way with me. My life is so hard sometimes.

Each touch and movement she made was so desperate, it made me understand what she was trying to do. My only complaint would be that I couldn't touch all of her at the same time.

"Mmmm." She withdrew from my face and licked her lips hungrily. "You still have a bit of that O positive leftover in your mouth love." Her eyes, that I had presumed turned black from lust, were staring down my lips with a predatory glare.

"Fuck sorry." I immediately blushed and began to swirl my tongue around in my mouth, trying to get any lasting remnants of my meal.

"Don't." She growled and tackled me back again, shoving her tongue deep into my mouth and moving it in synch with mine.

"Fuck me." I moaned, way too aroused for my own good at the moment.

"I'm trying." Alice smirked as she continued to trail her wet kisses down my neck, and I swear all the muscles in my core clenched. It was too much to handle from my current position so I tried to flip her underneath me, earning myself a disapproving growl from my wife. "No." She pinned my hands above my head for good measure as well.

It was something I could easily get out of, but I didn't particularly want to face the consequences from Alice if I did so. She seemed to really need to be in control at the moment, and her needs always came first in my book. So I sighed and relaxed my muscles to let her know I was hers.

"Good girl." She grinned at her victory over me, but let my hands go as a sign of good faith. I was grateful for it too, I had missed being able to touch her, even for those few moments.

Pretty soon all our clothes lay forgotten in a heap on the floor and it was a battle of hands and mouths. My center was absolutely throbbing from the lack of friction and I was getting ready to beg Alice for something to ease my ache, but I must have been whimpering without my knowledge because she hushed me gently and slid her thigh between my legs.

"Better?" She asked smiling down at me. I only groaned in response. Alice gets real cocky when she knows she's getting the better of me. It really only adds to my arousal.

Her pace was slow, but enjoyable all the same. It was one of those times that didn't need to be hard and fast, it was one to be relished for all it was worth. Alice kept grabbing and touching me all she could, still in the primal mate mindset.

Eventually our languid movements became a little more desperate and jerky, signs of the theoretical mountain climb commencing. The air was heady with the intoxicating smell of our lovemaking, it was almost pungent enough to make my eyes roll back on their own accord.

Alice kept leaning down to kiss me and I eagerly returned them, but it was becoming too hard to keep up with all the emotions running through me. I wasn't the best multitasker when it came down to her being on top of me.

Without warning, she slightly readjusted her angle and I moaned extremely loudly at this new sensation she'd brought upon me. I knew I was nearing the edge, and by the way Alice was panting in unnecessary air, she was too.

"Bella?" She gasped in between raggedy breaths.

"Huh?" Words were too hard.

"I love you." Fuck she was perfect. The air caught in my throat and I was barely able to choke out a response.

"I love you too." After that it only took a few more jerks of her hips to bring me over the edge and thankfully her as well.

She kept her arms wrapped around me as my body convulsed against hers and gently kissed my nose when I lazily opened my eyes afterwards. The face of an angel smiling down at me met my gaze.

"Hey." Alice traced her fingers lightly along my jawline looking completely content.

"Hey." I giggled back to her. She carefully slid down to the side of my body and drew light circles on my abdomen as I began my slow fade into sleep. "I take it back. That was a good idea." Her tinkling laughter filled my ears.

"You should know that Bella. I'm always right."

"Ah yes. How soon I forget." I stifled a yawn and stretched my limbs a bit. "God that was good."

"Yep. We are quite the team." I grunted a laugh and yawned once again. "Go to sleep. It'll probably be your turn to panic in the morning." She nuzzled into my neck comfortably and I couldn't stay awake any longer.

* * *

"I still don't like this."

"Well if it makes you feel better, it'll all be over soon?" Alice grumbled and ignored me for the rest of the drive, occasionally fidgeting and then grabbing for my free hand desperately.

We were on our way towards Amun's compound to meet Benjamin. Amun had received word that the Volturi were coming to collect his son later today.

Of course I hated the fact that Alice was coming with me into imminent danger, but I knew there was no possible argument there. The only thing I could do was make quick work of the threats and not let her even touch one vampire. That was honestly pretty doable with Benjamin on our side. Most of the Volturi had left Egypt after the Demetri/Alec incident. I knew with almost complete certainty that we wouldn't be seeing Aro or Caius today, and those were really the big threats. I was confident, not carelessly cocky, but well prepared for what lay ahead.

It was strange to think that some of my greatest torturers, the people that plagued my sleep, may be dead in just a few short hours. I had this odd sensation in my stomach that I couldn't describe. It was a combination of nervousness and excitement. Like that feeling I got the first time I drove alone after receiving my license. Or, even the first time I was about to have sex with Alice. It was a new and scary forthcoming experience, but it was beyond thrilling.

"Bella? You're zoning out on me. Is everything alright?" I shook myself from my thoughts and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Sorry Al. Just got a little caught up in my mind."

"Nervous?" She herself sounded extremely anxious as she asked. I frowned and shook my head.

"Honestly no. I've been waiting so long, and I know this was what I was meant to do."

"Oh? How do you figure that?"

"Well it's just a matter of history. The Volturi tried to create a race more powerful than their own, and they did so exactly. It's only fate that they're destroyed by their creation."

"Are you saying I'm weak?" Alice tried to feign a serious tone, but a traitorous giggle gave her away.

"Not ever." I whispered with sincerity. "You are hands down the strongest person I know."

"Besides you of course."

"Nope." I popped my 'p' syllable like a bubble of blown gum and smiled honestly. "You take great care of me, thus, earning you the spot as top dog."

"Well, when you put it like that." She grinned and looked much more relaxed than she had a few minutes ago. "But only one of us is an actual real life dog here Bells."

"Woof." Alice broke out into a fit of uncontrollable laughter and scratched behind my ear jokingly.

Yep. Bonnie and Clyde. Alice and Bella.

* * *

"I want to thank you for your kindness. Your help is appreciated. I will be sure to thank Carlisle as well, he speaks very highly of you."

Amun was a nice enough guy. I could tell he didn't really like visitors and probably would have preferred if our help was unneeded. His childlike treatment of Benjamin still didn't sit well with me. Everyone deserves freedom.

Alice and I shook everyone's hands politely, it was starting to feel like an official business dealing.

The next few hours were spent anxiously fiddling around and waiting. Benjamin kept playing with the water casually and Alice couldn't stop bouncing her knee. It was a strange looking bunch.

Finally, when I was about ready to grab Alice's legs and keep them still myself, there was a small knock on the door.

Amun immediately motioned for us to hide and Benjamin stood awkwardly behind his 'parents' while they opened the door to the expected visitors. Alice and I stood on either side of an open doorway leading out to the courtyard, awaiting our moment. The sound of the running water was just loud enough to drown out my heart beat from any supernatural hearing. Provided they didn't listen _too_ carefully.

"Good evening Amun. It's been some time." Felix's smarmy ass voice rang though my ears and I had to suppress a snarl. By the looks of it Alice did as well. We continued to stare at one another while the two spoke.

"Good evening Felix. What can I do for you?" Amun was short, yet still polite. He was obviously worried about upsetting anyone too early.

"I think you know. May we come in?" We? Who was we? Alice and I both shifted even closer to the wall. I wanted to know exactly who we were dealing with.

"Certainly." I heard the distinct sound of shuffling feet and several more elegant pairs of footsteps walking in. Three? Maybe four? We figured the whole guard wouldn't be showing up again, especially after losing Demetri and Alec, but three or four was a good number. Felix was probably the highest ranking among them considering he was the one doing the talking, so far at least.

"You have a lovely home." Heidi? What the fuck was Heidi doing here? Alice's confused expression mirrored mine exactly. Were they trying to seduce Benjamin into the Volturi or something? Isn't that what Chelsea is for? Speaking of…

"Is this Benjamin?" I wasn't sure if it was the presence of Chelsea making Alice further tense up, or the fact that more vampires kept talking. Felix, Heidi, and Chelsea.

"Answer." And Jane.

I nearly blew our cover and swore out loud. If it was somehow possible, Alice paled.

Jane couldn't technically hurt me with her power, but she sure as hell could fuck with Alice. And if Alice was in pain, so was I. So yeah, this made things complicated. Especially after the fact that we killed her brother. Jane's name just got moved to the top of the target list in this room.

I looked Alice dead in the eye and put four fingers up, mouthing names while I counted each down.

 _Jane, Felix, Chelsea, Heidi._

Alice nodded her confirmation of understanding.

"No need for violence Jane. Let the boy answer on his own." Felix chided Jane as if she were a child. A fucking sadistic thousand year old child. "Go on."

"Yes it is. My son." Amun of course answered for Benjamin. Did that man ever let his son do anything on his own?

"Well, we'll be the judge of that." I swear you could hear the smirk in Chelsea's comment. What a bitch.

"Felix, please. Haven't you already taken enough?" If I was being honest, a small part of me felt genuinely bad for the guy. Chelsea had already played her tricks on one of his own and took Demetri away from Amun so long ago. So I understood why he was so protective of Benjamin, but it was not really a fatherly defense, it was much more possessive. Like he was a sort of trophy or prize. Much like how Aro treated his vampires.

"Ah yes. I was so sorry to hear about Demetri. You should know that when the culprits are found, the punishment will be most severe." Jane growled loudly in the background as Felix spoke, but I had a sudden spike of fear.

Amun didn't know that we killed Demetri. We were the murderers of his former son. Alice looked up at me with wide eyes, realizing the same thing.

"I'm not sure what you mean?"

 _What do we do? He'll freak!_ Alice mouthed at me in an accelerating panic. I shook my head and thought of our options quickly.

We could attack now, but Benjamin would be thrown off and there would be a small delay that Jane could use to her advantage to take us down. Or we could wait as planned and just hope that Amun doesn't lose his shit when he finds out what we did.

I held up my hand to signal for us to wait it out. It was risky, but it was the smarter move.

"Surely you've heard?" Fucking Felix and his dramatics. I would roll my eyes if the situation weren't so terrible. Amun must have given a non-verbal response because Felix continued on. "Demetri was found dead a couple weeks ago, in this very city."

"Found dead?"

"Well the remains of him, yes. The culprits killed another one of ours as well." Jane's growl grew even louder and Felix paused for a few seconds. "Two famed members of the guard, gone. Must have been pretty powerful to do such a thing."

I began sweating profusely and my rising heartbeat was starting to become an issue if it got any louder.

"Culprit _s_ you say?" Amun was putting it together. I couldn't tell how he would react.

"Yes. There were two distinct scents around the scene when we arrived. Most likely lovers or mates, there was a hint of arousal mixed in there."

Alice began to shake and I had to press my hand to my chest in an effort to stop it from hammering. The way Felix spoke made me feel like he knew it was us. And I worried if he suspected we were still here, right now.

Were _we_ the ones being toyed with?

"Well…. I hope they're caught soon." Alice and I sighed silently in relief, Amun was not going to give us away for our actions. But Felix was the one that sighed most theatrically.

"Wow. I'm really disappointed in you Amun. But I have to say, I was actually hoping to do this."

About a thousand things happened all at once after Felix's dire statement.

There was an earsplitting scream and the unmistakable cracking noise of someone losing a limb. Alice and I jumped into the room, only to find Amun headless and his wife, Kebi, restrained by Heidi. The second Alice stepped into sight however, Jane went into action before I could stop her.

Alice dropped to her knees, screaming in pain at the top of her lungs and clutching her head. I lost it and went for Jane's throat, only to be caught by Felix and Chelsea.

It was as if someone had pulled this scene straight from one of my nightmares. Amun dead, Kebi being ripped apart in front of me, Alice tortured by Jane, and where the hell was Benjamin?

"Benjamin!" I yelled blindly for my acquaintance during my fruitless struggle. Was he too traumatized to act? "BENJAMIN!"

Just as I was about to lose hope, Alice's screams died out and Chelsea and Felix dropped me as if I had burned them. I ran to Alice's side without a second thought or glance at my surroundings.

"Alice! Are you alright? Please tell me you're ok." She was clearly shaken. I had to scoop her up into my arms while she recovered. The sooner we got out of here, the better.

"Bella!" She finally gasped, a look of horror on her face. Confused, I scanned the compound quickly to find myself _in_ my actual nightmare.

Benjamin stood with pure rage radiating off of him. Chunks of the walls and ceiling covered the formerly upright Volturi guards. They're unconsciousness was only temporary. We had to move, but now Benjamin was the problem. The once calming and tranquil pool of water in the courtyard was flooding out everywhere. It was already up to my knees. Apparently in my panic of getting to Alice I hadn't noticed the gradually rising water. Debris blocked us into the entrance way. No apparent escape point in a flooding room.

"Hey Benjamin. Look, they're down. You need to stop the water alright?" He was either too angry to hear me, or he had completely lost control. Both were not options that would keep me alive. A small tug on my shirt brought my gaze down on my wife, staring up at me wide fearful eyes. She knew the consequences we were facing.

"Bella he's feeding it from the river. If he isn't stopped…"

"I know. You work on an exit, I'll work on him." She nodded and jumped down from my arms, now into waist deep water. "Look at me Benjamin. Come on this isn't you!" He was in some sort of trance that was fueled by his fury.

"There's too much pressure!" Alice called out from where the door was, the water was now up to her chest. I was losing time.

"Fuck!" I went for broke and tried to shake him out of it. Big mistake.

Almost as if an invisible dam broke, water shot out from the ground and sprayed with dangerous force, disorienting me completely.

"Bella! Bella!" Alice's voice echoed as the water neared the ceiling. I was treading for my life, down to my last breaths. There had to be a hole here somewhere! Benjamin had done enough damage to the structure to make one big enough to breathe through surely.

Seconds later, I was submerged.

Searching for Alice in the murky dark water was nearly impossible. Being without her in this situation was just plain cruel.

She was right. Alice was right.

Benjamin was our downfall. He was too new, too inexperienced. She was right all along. And I didn't listen to her.

So ironically I was living out my worst fear in penance.

Eventually my lungs squeezed painfully and my vision grew black. I had drowned to death before. But this was definitely the worst.

There was a sudden flash of bright light and several muffled noises right before I faded into the deep dark black.

* * *

 **A/N: Love you all :)**


	30. One Small Drop

_Come away little lamb come away to the water_

 _To the arms that are waiting only for you_

 _Come away little lamb come away to the slaughter_

 _To the one appointed to see this through_

 _We are coming for you_

* * *

 **Chapter 30:** **One Small Drop**

 **Bella POV:**

"Bella breathe! Come on!" Something extremely hard hit my chest and I involuntarily coughed up my lungful of water.

It took me a solid minute or two to completely regain my vision and proper breathing again. My lungs burned horribly after the ordeal and my body ached. It felt like someone had wrung the life out of me as if I were a towel, and then left one small drop. One small drop of life that I had to hang onto and recover from.

Alice looked just as bad as I probably did, like a cat that fell into a pool of water. Her face was full of relief at my consciousness however. Her eyes were filled with tears and her body was drenched. I could tell she wanted to speak to me, but thankfully she let me cough my lungs up before trying to do so.

"Bella." Alice finally croaked out, barely above the sound of a whisper. Her fingers went to stroke my face, but I tried to turn my head and figure of what the hell happened. Bad move. The most pathetic whine came from me at this simple movement, everything was on fire.

"Wha-what happened?" I tried to get up again only to groan painfully once more. Alice softly pushed my shoulders back and started checking me for any other wounds.

Her work was methodical and careful, poking and prodding to make sure I was satisfactory to her needs. After a while I grew slightly annoyed at her lack of response.

"Alice?" She merely growled at me, not in a threatening manner, and continued her assessment.

After several more minutes, and it seemed her check of approval on my health, she returned back to my head with loving eyes.

"What happened?" I repeated a little stronger than before. She only bit her lip in response. Not good. "Al?"

"Well Benjamin kind of went out of control, a-and there was water everywhere-"

"Alice I know that part. How am I still alive?" She bit her lip again and turned her gaze away from me, still keeping her hand on my shoulder though.

"Bella, you were going to die."

"That's not an answer…" I said through clenched teeth. There was something big that she was avoiding to tell me.

"The Romanians showed up." Her statement was grim to say the least. I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath so I wouldn't explode on her.

"And?"

"They kind of- well they sort of- they killed Benjamin."

"WHAT?" In my anger and shock I had jumped up into a sitting position and immediately regretted it, and not just because of the pain that came along with it.

The damage around me was severe. Rubble everywhere, a few smoking piles of what I presumed where former living vampires, and water still dripping and puddling around the previously upright compound. Fucking A.

I collapsed forward into my hands in defeat. Alice tried to rub my back in an effort to comfort, but I was beyond pissed. Once again, my well thought plan had failed.

"He would have killed you Bella. I know it's horrible to say, but if they hadn't stepped in, you would be dead right now."

"Who are they?" I ignored her comment and pointed to the smoking remains scattered around us.

"Benjamin, Amun, Kebi, Chelsea, and Heidi. Jane and Felix got away."

"Fuck." I sighed and thought of the carnage that just occurred. "Well, at least we got two."

"No no my dear. _We_ got two. You two did absolutely nothing." All the hairs on the back of my neck stood up at the sound of Stefan's arrogant voice.

"You son of a bitch –" Alice caught me as I lunged for them, holding me back before I created some more piles of ash.

"You're not strong enough right now Bells. Just stand down. Please." She whispered quietly into my ear. I growled and contemplated it, and unfortunately she was right. Also I didn't want to upset her anymore for the day. She looked like her sanity was wearing pretty thin.

"What the fuck did you do? You just ruined our only hope!"

"Well your only hope seemed to be perfectly fine killing you." Vladimir sneered at the ground, probably where Benjamin used to be.

"That doesn't matter! It's not like I can actually die!"

"Yes, but your poor dear wife would have been if we hadn't shown up. The guard was beginning to stir. And you would have left her all alone." The thought made me shiver. But they did not have to _kill_ Benjamin to stop him.

"You still had options. Murder is final. Now he's gone."

"Says the woman who's hunting down the Volturi, taking no survivors."

"He was innocent!"

"And he had potential to not be."

"He was distraught! His parents were just ripped apart in front of him!" Alice tugged at me again as I grew restless once more. It was getting pretty personal. Her hand curled up my abdomen and rested there to calm me down.

"It was just the Egyptian coven. Not a loss at all." Stefan spoke with distaste. The Romanians and the Egyptians had fought over power long ago, but I had figured it was well forgotten by now. Obviously not.

"You hold a fucking grudge like no other covens. No wonder why the Volturi hates you. Is that why you killed them? Were you just waiting for an excuse to wipe them from the map?" Both of them just smirked and Alice had to press her entire front into my back to keep me back. "We're done. I'm fucking done with you. You crossed the line."

"Don't be so dramatic pup." It was Alice's turn to growl at Vladimir's taunt.

"No. That's it. You come in my way again and you just see what happens." They both laughed manically and tossed me a lighter.

"Good luck." I let out a loud sigh when they left and Alice relaxed, kissing my neck as she did so.

"I'm so sorry love. I should never have put you in this much danger. This is all my fault." I turned to face Alice as I spoke with guilt riddling my body. As much as I hated them, the Romanians were right. She would have been killed if they hadn't shown up.

"Stop." She pointed a threatening finger at me, all worry and sympathy gone from her face. "Stop that now. I'm really tired of that Bella. I told you we were a team, you need to start acting like it, highs _and_ lows."

My exhaustion finally took over and I collapsed back onto the ground. Alice, much more gracefully, lowered herself down next to me.

"I'm sorry." She whispered in a much gentler tone. "I didn't mean it to sound so harsh, it's been a long day. But you have to understand how tired I am of having this conversation with you." I began to say something, but she hushed me with a finger. "Look, I know how much we've grown together, I still can't believe we're here together now. But it's really frustrating to have the same conversation with you time and time again. I understand that you worry about me, trust me I do, so please stop, and I mean this lovingly, being an ass."

She was honestly so perfect, even when telling me I was an ass, that I couldn't help but smile and pull her into my side.

"You're right. Thank you for constantly putting up with me. And I'm going to really work hard on myself so I deserve you. But for the time being, you can save yourself some trouble and just give me a good kick if I do it again." A muffled giggle came from her as she squeezed me tighter.

"Well I'm not that mean. I think a good elbow will do." I laughed and took her hands, standing us both upright again.

"Alright boss lady, that kind of blew up in our faces." We started walking away from the carnage around us. "But we're still in this. What now?"


	31. Plan D?

_Baby, I will be your falling star_

 _The one that got away, the one you'll be dreaming of_

 _Maybe we have been here once before_

 _The darkness rearranged, you're hitting well below the waist_

 _Wait, just relax_

 _Now, behave, the past is all you have_

 _All hurt in time gets better_

 _When the truth came out, you were born to run_

 _When the lights went out, there was no one_

 _A ghost to haunt foreclosure_

* * *

 **Chapter 31:** **Plan D?**

 **Alice POV:**

"Al for the love of god will you please slow down? Or do you want to get pulled over again?"

"Bella, I only live life and drive one way. Fast." Bella just rolled her eyes at me and continued her intense lookout for police ahead. I sighed and slowed down slightly to alleviate her tension somewhat. "Better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

We had moved on to plan D, maybe E (?), about a week ago. It pretty much entailed driving around the world in search for leads and avoiding any trouble. Besides the whole living out of cars thing, I actually quite enjoyed traveling the globe with my wife.

It honestly reminds me of the dream I have of us once the Volturi are gone. Just Bella and I, and all the places to go. Of course we'd stay in quaint little bed and breakfasts instead of the various cars, but the closeness was right around the way I wanted it.

Although I will admit, life does get slightly boring on the constant road. We got pulled over at least once a day when I was driving, damn blind sight Bella. Luckily my charm was just about enough to get us out of any ticket. And if for some reason it wasn't, all I had to do was caress Bella's leg sensually and the thought of issuing a ticket seemed to fade away.

"Do you think my canines are growing? They look longer." I had been deep in thought while focusing on the road and was momentarily lost when Bella asked me a question. She was delicately touching her teeth while looking at herself with great distaste in a sun visor mirror. I had noticed her becoming much more self-conscious of how she appeared on her new diet as of late. She even kept her shades on when just with me in private.

I reached over and carefully removed her sunglasses, placing them on top of her head before giving her hair a loving tug.

"Maybe a bit sharper." I peered over to see what she was talking about. Yes they did seem a little sharper. The predator in me was definitely turned on by the look. But I knew my wife did not need to hear that at the moment. "Don't worry love, you can barely notice."

"But you did…" Bella grumbled, obviously put out, and slumped back into her seat.

"Hey come on now. Pit stop?" I threw a sultry wink her way.

Our sex life wasn't the best on the road, cars are pretty cramped, but we make things work. Keep that love alive.

I must have read the car wrong because Bella just growled at me angrily.

"Ok. Hangry? There's a fresh blood bag in the cooler." I pointed behind me, almost reaching to grab it, before Bella nearly exploded.

"I'm so fucking tired of this! No I'm not hungry! I'm just irritated alright! Is that so hard to believe?" I remained silent while she ranted and gave her my most puppy dog eyes once she was through. "Fuck. I'm sorry Alice. Maybe I am hungry. I don't know anymore." She grabbed the spare bag from the cooler and began to sip from it like a child with a juice pack.

"That's quite alright." I laid my hand on her leg in my acceptance of her apology.

The truth was, her mood had been on the downhill since she started drinking blood. As I had only been on the human blood diet for a couple months years and years ago, I couldn't really remember how it felt. But I knew she was hanging on the edge of being miserable. I couldn't even imagine where she would be if I hadn't shown up.

"Come on. We're making a pit stop anyway. You need a bit of sun." I pulled off at the nearest exit and searched for some open space where we could get some fresh air. Bella had been getting paler as well. While I loved her all the same no matter how she looked, I worried it was a side effect of getting ill or something. It was an unhealthy tinge, and I can't stand when she's not fit as a fiddle.

"Ok." She shrugged and leaned back again, giving into my stubbornness. I think she's been married to me for too long.

We drove for a while, trying to find the perfect place to relax for a few hours. I honestly had no clue what country we were in, but wherever we were, it was beautiful.

"How's this?" We finally reached a spot that was to my liking and parked.

"Looks good." Bella's mood hadn't really improved, hopefully the sun would do her some good. I stepped out of the car and then rushed to the passenger's side to open the door for her. "Thank you." She politely took my outstretched hand as I helped her out. I watched as she stretched her sore limbs from being pent up in the car for so long. Yes, this was a good idea.

The two of us walked a little ways away from the vehicle until we found a nice enough place to lay down. It was pleasantly quiet, a peaceful lull overtaking us.

"Do you ever think about our future? I mean after the Volturi are gone and taken care of?" I finally asked after our long streak of silence. Bella didn't answer right away, I worried she might have fallen asleep.

"Yeah, I guess. Do you?" I smiled and moved to lay across her chest instead of the grass.

"Of course. You're pretty much all I think about." A gruff chuckle came from underneath me.

"God I forgot how corny you are."

"Isn't that why you married me?"

"One of the million or so reasons. Maybe." She craned her neck to kiss the top of my head. I was extremely happy with how well my idea had turned out. "Thank you." She whispered into my hair. "I think you know my needs better than I do a lot of the time."

"That comes with experience as your loving wife my dear."

Bella laughed but then began to subconsciously fidget with her bare ring finger. I halted her movement with my own hand.

"I'll get it for you. I promise." She looked about ready to cry at my statement.

"How do you know it isn't already destroyed?"

"It's Aro. He's a sadistic psychopath who loves trophies. I'm sure that ring is his most prized possession."

"Besides me of course." She said dryly. I involuntarily growled.

"You will _never_ be his."

"I know." Bella propped us both up and cupped my cheek tenderly. "I'll only ever be yours." Every single second I spent with her just made me fall more in love, if that was even possible.

"Well, only if you want to be." I grinned up at her until she smiled back.

"I do. I always do." I become lost in her eyes, they were captivating no matter what the color, and leaned forward into her awaiting lips.

It didn't matter how many times we kissed, it would always feel like the first time with her. The way my dead heart fluttered, my lips burned from her skin, it was as if she was setting my very own soul on fire. She was always so gentle with me, it made my heart ache.

"Come on." She slowly pulled away and brushed my lower lip with her thumb. "We gotta get back on the road."

"Alright." I sighed and slid off her lap. "I'll drive. You need to sleep." Her head leaned down once more for a small peck before she stood us both up.

"Deal. But I'm not helping you with a ticket next time." The sun broke through a stray cloud and illuminated some new color in her face, I had missed it so.

"I really don't drive that fast."

"I'm afraid law enforcement everywhere disagree with you my dear." A warm arm wrapped around my shoulders as we walked back to the car.

"Oh hush. The road awaits us."

* * *

"Oooh Bella look at that car!"

"Ow!" In my excitement I had hit her arm to get her attention, she looked quite disgruntled from it. "I was about to fall asleep."

"Sorry. But please look at that beauty." I pointed to the new hot BMW that we were about to pass. Bella just shrugged her shoulders unimpressed.

"Eh. Not my style. Your Porsche not good enough for you anymore or something?"

"I like to look." I smirked and Bella's frown only grew deeper.

"You don't check out other people do you? Are you thinking of trading me in?" Her rarely seen insecurity was showing and I giggled and shook my head.

"Of course not. I only have eyes for you. Besides, you're the top prize babe, I can't trade up anymore." The low sound of her chuckles filled the car. "So what is your style then?"

"Are we talking about people or…?" She teased and I playfully smacked her arm.

"Watch it woman, or I won't do that thing I _know_ you like." My fingers traced the shell of her ear seductively and she shivered under my touch and words. "What kind of cars do you like? I mean I know you liked your Audi, but what else?" She swallowed hard, trying to regain a clean mind again.

"Um. I guess I like the vintage stuff. You know, like a 1955 Corvette. That's sexy as hell. I'd definitely trade you in for one."

"Yeah well could a car do this?" I moved my hand that was previously resting on her leg all the way up her thigh until she squirmed.

"You should- you should really focus on the road." Her choked out words were telling me to stop, but her face was definitely telling me something else.

"Are you sure about that?" I even began to play with the zipper on her jeans, but she grabbed my hand and brought it up for a gentle kiss.

"Yes. We need to reach London by tonight if we want to catch Alistar. After that, anything goes." I grinned and nodded, a little put out though. Although it was my fault for getting myself all worked up.

"So vintage huh? Is that why you like me?"

"Yes Alice, that is the only reason. You are my 1901 collector's item." She said sarcastically while rolling her eyes at me.

"When you say it like that it sounds very creepy."

"Hey, you're the cradle robber." We both erupted in a fit of giggles that lasted until our sides began to hurt.

A silent lull took over the car and I couldn't stop my long overdue question from spilling out.

"What about your old truck?" The last time I had brought it up was an extremely emotional time and it had been forgotten since. It finally felt like we were in a place where I could try to talk about it again.

"Uh, yeah." She scratched the back of her head awkwardly.

"You don't have to talk about it Bella, I'll understand. I was just curious about what happened, that's all."

"No, um, no it's alright." She cleared her throat about a hundred times and started fidgeting with her hands. I could tell that she was struggling on how to start.

"Really Bella you don't, not if it's too hard."

"No. You're my wife, and you deserve to know everything." She took a deep shaky breath and finally looked up at me with watery eyes. "I put it in storage right when I came back. I wanted to throw it away, get it out of my sight, but I couldn't just – just…"

"You couldn't just get rid of it." I quietly finished for her. She nodded gratefully.

"But I couldn't look at the thing every day. It was-it was too hard." She finally finished, almost out of breath.

"I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine." There were few times when I wish I wasn't driving at breakneck speeds in a beautiful car, and this was one of them. I wanted so badly to hug her and comfort her more than just squeezing her hand. "Is that why you didn't go to the funeral?" Only silence greeted that. An eventual nod was her response.

"It was my fault. I'm the one who caused it, so yeah, of course I couldn't go." I decided to say fuck it and pulled the car over immediately, causing Bella to jump in surprise. "What's wrong?" She looked around in panic trying to figure out what caused my abrupt stop.

"You can't do that Bella. You can't blame yourself for something that couldn't be changed."

"It doesn't matter Alice. I'm still the one that pulled the trigger, so to speak."

"No! I don't see it that way, and you shouldn't either."

"Then tell me how I should see it? Should I put on my blinders and just pretend I didn't kill him?" The old defensive Bella was coming out at this topic, showing me exactly how touchy this subject was.

"If we all thought the way you do then technically I'm the one that killed him. I left you, which left you unprotected, fast forward to the Volturi taking you and then your father. So if you want to blame someone, blame me."

"You're being ridiculous Alice."

"No, I'm not." We sat in angry silence, each too annoyed at the other to speak. I knew I had to be the bigger person, I was the one who brought it up in the first place. "Look I'm sorry for even bringing this up, I know it's still sore and fresh, but I really hate when you blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in this world. You can't. You just can't possibly carry that, not even with my help." I was pretty sure she was about to explode on me, but she actually sighed in defeat.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I unbuckled and crawled into her lap for an awkwardly positioned hug.

"I love you." Like a cat, I nuzzled into her warm neck to feel her heat.

"I love you too." In turn she ran her hands up and down my back.

After several serene minutes of this I gently kissed my way from her neck to her lips. God, those damn lips of hers had me under her spell once again. Were they coated in vampire drugs or something? They were absolutely addictive.

"You know if you let me drive faster we can make this pit stop a bit longer." I whispered huskily finally succeeding in slipping my fingers down her pants.

"Whatever you want, just please don't fucking stop." She panted out, eyes pitch black with lust and longing. Her fingers crawled up my abdomen and skated along my ribs. "London can wait a bit."

"That's my girl."


	32. Control

**I'm sorry for taking so long! I'd try to think of a good excuse, but truth is, I just don't have one. I'm sorry :( . Life got busy and I was a little stuck. But I swear I never forgot about this. It's always on my mind. Thank you for your patience.**

* * *

 _We got drunk on this unholy wine  
To deliver us from our old minds  
A promise of a better time  
'Til we're feeling barely human_

 _We don't know what's good for us  
Cause if we did, we might not do it  
Who knows where our limits lie?  
We won't discover 'til we push it_

 _Cause the devil's got my arms  
And it pulls me back into the night  
But I should just walk away, away  
Oh, it grips me_

* * *

 **Chapter 32:** **Control**

 **Alice POV:**

I consider myself lucky. I've lived a very fortunate life, excluding my forgotten human life of course. But considering what could have been, I think I've been blessed.

Sure I was turned into a vampire, cursed with bloodlust, but I was also given the gift of foresight. It allowed me to seek out a better future for myself, to become a Cullen. I didn't have to rely on human blood to sustain me. I had a family, constant unconditional love and support, and then I eventually met Bella.

I can honestly say that the most pain I have ever endured in my life was when Bella was taken from me, and I wasn't even the one being tortured then. So yes, I know what has been given to me.

Others in my family were not so lucky. Almost everyone had pasts that they tried to forget. Was that a common thing among vampires? Or was it the fact that if you live long enough, you're bound to suffer?

Now if I asked Bella if she thought her luck the same as mine, she would automatically agree. She'd state that nothing was really that bad, and she was led to me. I wholeheartedly disagreed.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate her positive outlook on life, I mean for god's sake look at me. I'm as energetic and happy go lucky as they come. But I was honest about the hand I was dealt. Bella was too obvious about her bluff.

See I watched her. I watched her all the time really, she was too beautiful and curious of a creature not to be watched. But I examined her when she thought I wasn't, and I could see the shakings and quiverings of a damaged woman.

It was the small stuff really. I noticed her behavioral changes after each time she came back to me, those were quite big. The nightmares were a constant reminder of scars, as well as the panic attacks. But I observed her fluctuations when she switched back to blood as well. That was slightly harder to read. Luckily I had some experience with Jasper.

It all starts off controlled, a false confidence in the ability to defeat their own weakness. Eventually the road would lead down to mood swings, constant cravings, and aggravation with themselves.

Bella once described drinking blood to me as if she was walking down the double yellow lines on a highway. One wrong step, one slip up, and everything was crushed.

* * *

"So Alistar said he'd find us if he hears anything of use, but it's Alistar so… let's try not to get our hopes up." Bella had eventually returned from her meeting with Alistar and met me back in our hotel room. She already appeared to be in a foul mood so I slipped off from my position on the bed and helped her take off her jacket.

"Well it doesn't do any good to just sit and wait. How about some fresh air? I'm due for a hunting trip." She paused briefly and contemplated my request, trying to make sense of her varying emotions. After about a minute she turned and smiled gently at me.

"Sure. That sounds good." I grinned and hopped on my tippy toes to give her a thank you peck.

There was a nearby hiking trail that I had scouted before our arrival into England, the forest space surrounding it would do in a pinch. We remained silent on the drive over, something I noticed us doing more often.

"You coming?" Bella had stalled when I exited the car at our destination. She seemed to have spaced out again.

"Um, yeah. Sorry." She blinked a few times, looking slightly confused, and got up to follow me.

"You alright?"

"Yeah. Just a little thirsty, that's all." I sighed and did not comment. She had just had a blood bag yesterday.

"Want to start by that creek?" She shrugged and began to walk towards it.

I was always cautious when hunting with her, not only keeping her close because I was afraid of our current situation, but I was also very wary of my actions when it came down to the feeding. I know animal blood didn't particularly appeal to her right now, but it was still fresh blood ready to be fed on. Plus the fact that her mate was feeding on it, that's a major turn on.

Once I was sure that Bella seemed to be in enough control, I picked my target and closed in. After a brief glance behind me to check on my wife, and give her a quick wink, I pounced on an unsuspecting deer.

Distracting myself with my meal proved to be one of the biggest mistakes I'd ever made. A strong change in winds blew the scent of fresh human blood our way, and in my moment of distraction, I forgot about the very hungry Bella standing nearby.

Low growling was my first indication that something was wrong. I looked up to find Bella sniffing the wind, eyes pitch black and searching for the direction of the delectable smell enticing her.

"Bella?" No response. "Bella look at me." It was as if we were back in Carlisle's office, practicing with the blood bags. I had a large pang of regret about letting Bella get addicted to blood again. Her growling grew louder and I saw her eyes zero in on a direction. "Bella no!"

I was too late. Bella had taken off running towards the human whose fate I feared for greatly at the moment. Left with no other choice, I ran right after her.

She was fast, much faster than I. My only hope was that she'd hear my desperate calls after her and regain her consciousness. After realizing that if I didn't catch up with her, I was sentencing a human to their death, a tremendous amount of speed went through my legs and propelled me towards my dangerous wife.

"Bella stop!" I had finally caught up and tackled her quite violently into the ground, both of us were immediately caked in dirt and twigs. "This isn't you!" I yelled, trying to get through her hunter mindset.

"Yes it is!" She threw me off in a wild fury, wide dark red orbs meeting my eyes. "It is me Alice!"

"I-what?" I thought it would be a struggle to regain her control, so when she turned to yell at me completely composed, I was momentarily confused at her anger.

"This is me! It's not the monster anymore. It's all me!" Her voice quivered with emotion. Rage and disgust alike.

"I-I don't understand. Are you losing control?" My question brought on sarcastic laughter from her.

"There's none to be had Alice. There never was." The weight of her words were starting to hit me and I was suddenly frightened.

"What do you need? Tell me what you need and I'll help you."

"I need that human, dead." And she was dead serious. I automatically took a defensive step backwards.

"Don't say that. You don't really mean that." It was half of a question and half of a fearful statement trying to get through to her.

"Yes, I do." This time she took a step forward closer to me, a predatory gesture. "I already told you once before, I like it. And you're afraid of me for it."

"I'm not afraid." I countered and stood up a little straighter. Our movements were very similar to the steps of a fight. If a stranger happened upon the scene, they would never guess us to be a married couple. "You said that when your emotions were off."

"And you automatically assumed I didn't mean it?"

"I don't know what to think." I shrugged away from her scare tactics. It was her way to try and push me away from seeking the truth. No ma'am, not this time. "Tell me." She scoffed and backed away. I had succeeded in my show of bravery, but not my quest for the truth. Not yet. "Please."

"You don't want to know."

"Yes I do. I really do." My hand betrayed my steady body and instinctively reached out for her. She flinched and growled at the intruder, her forgotten anger resurfacing.

"I like killing. The hunt. It's…thrilling." If I could get the chills, I would be covered in them now. She spoke slowly, as if reflecting on previous memories. My stomach threatened to upturn its contents.

"How so?" I had to keep pushing. She never told me anything that she thought would frighten me. Of course this definitely was terrifying to hear, but I meant what I said when I loved her no matter what.

"Power." Her voice was barely above a whisper now and I strained to hear it. "I never had that power then, with them." The _them_ part did not need further explanation. Naturally it was the Volturi that cause this fucked up need for control. I began to wonder if there was anything they hadn't destroyed in my life.

"It gives you control." I helped out with putting the pieces of my wife's puzzle of a mind together. "If you can control the life of another, whether they live or die, it gives you a sense of influence in yours."

"It's in my hands." She nodded and finished for me. I became quiet.

I knew her change of diet would come to its inevitable fight, but I never imagined it leading to a revelation like this. There were a lot of emotions racing through my head and I had trouble keeping track of them.

There was sorrow of course, for the pain I knew Bella was feeling with this internal conflict. This was a woman who actually sacrificed her life for her mother's when she was human. She was compassionate and had a love for all creatures, and now she was admitting to having a secret craving for hunting them. I'm sure it didn't sit well with her conscience. I was also sad that I had let her endure all this for so long. She had said it when she was emotionless, but I played it down, assuming it to be one of the many things she said to deter me from helping her. Was all of it true? Once again I was reminded of how terrible a mate I was.

Then there was quite a bit of fear in me. Sure she seemed to be in control of her body right now, but how deep did her need to kill run in her? Would even I stand in her way? I don't doubt her love for me, but was that enough? Here I was, quite literally standing in her path towards her desire, and I didn't know what she would do if that need became too great for her.

And then finally there was the unfortunately familiar feeling of anger. Anger at the whole fucking world for what it had done. What did Bella ever do to deserve such a fate? Sure I was pissed off at the Volturi, but I always was. I expected nothing less at this point. This was a much deeper rage at the concept of predestination. Surely that could not exist, not when such a soul as Bella's was fucked over like it was. My brothers and sisters had lost faith long ago at the cruelness of their lives, but I held on. But all this, all this malice that I just had no explanation for, made me lose it. I had one belief, and that was Bella.

A new set of growls rumbling from Bella's chest awoke me from my silent thoughts and sent a jolt of panic into me. The human scent was moving closer and I knew Bella was ready to snap. But did I really want to stop her?

"Bella." Her head snapped to my gentle call, an expression of pain plastered on her face.

"Please don't beg me not to." She looked about ready to cry, itching to go. Her hands shook as if she was experiencing withdrawals. Which now that I think about it, she actually was. The most potent drug was in her reach, and she was very addicted.

"I won't." I whispered, unable to be the cause of her agony. She moved to chase after her prey, but I couldn't let her go without one last word. "Wait. If you really feel like you have to do this, kill that human, then I won't stop you. If you really think that taking that innocent life will make you feel better, please go ahead. As long as you know in your heart that there is nothing else that will help."

And then I did the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life, and turned my back on her to walk away. I meant what I said, it was her choice. Obviously I hoped she'd choose to accompany me back, but it was in her hands. Yes, I was giving her the control that she so desired.

I had been walking for a good fifteen minutes before I lost all hope that Bella followed me. So you can imagine my great surprise when the pitter patter of feet sounded behind me and I heard a far off call.

"Wait up!" A huge smile spread across my face as she caught up with me, scent fresh with not a drop of blood on her. "You really going to leave me all alone in the woods?"

"Not a chance." She took my hand instinctively and it warmed me up immediately. Not only from its actual physical heat, but from its notion of love.

"Thank you." She whispered into my hair before kissing the top of my head.

"No, thank you."

"For what?" Her eyebrows furrowed into that cute befuddled look that I just adored.

"For sharing with me. For letting me further into that strange mind of yours."

"Oh. It's pretty fucked up." Bella joked, but I could sense the subtle warning laced in the tone.

"I know. But I love you all the same."

Our soaring moods remained the same as we arrived back at the hotel and I was pleased with the possible evening ahead. It seemed Bella's forgotten hunger transferred to other famished bodily functions and it appeared I would have an extremely good night until a loud knock on the door interrupted our heated moment.

"Dammit. Whoever that is better have a real good excuse for ruining our fun." Bella giggled at my annoyance as she slid off my body to get the door.

"What were you up to?" I heard the cocky accent of Alistar speaking to Bella and I rolled my eyes and hopped off the bed as well.

"Nothing of importance to you." She replied curtly and gestured him inside. "I assume you have news or else why would you come to bother us, correct?" Alistar sneered and eyed the both of us with a pompous air.

"What would you say if I told you I knew where Caius was at this exact moment?"


	33. The Masochist

_When you fall asleep_

 _With your head upon my shoulder_

 _When you're in my arms_

 _But you've gone somewhere deeper_

 _Are you going to age with grace?_

 _Are you going to age without mistakes?_

 _Are you going to age with grace?_

 _Or only to wake and hide your face?_

* * *

 **Chapter 33:** **The Masochist**

 **Bella POV:**

Time is such a strange concept. It's fleeting and so frustrating, there's almost never enough. And then there are those times when you wish you had a fast forward button. There never seemed to be a perfect speed in life.

The time that Alice and I had had on the run hunting for the Volturi seemed to be perfect though. There was always a threat yes, but we were safe. And we were together. I know the Volturi was our goal, but it was all so dangerous. The fiasco in Egypt had left some mental wounds in me that hadn't quite healed yet. Yet here we were, ready to do it all over again. Except this time we had no back up, and the stakes were much much higher. My body would not stop its constant nervous shaking.

"Bella I really don't want to do this." Alice abruptly blurted once we were back in the car and on the long road towards vengeance.

"Alice you can't be serious right now. This is Caius we're talking about here. I'm sure I don't need to remind you what he did. Do I?" I turned to her with a highly annoyed and skeptical look plastered on my face. This was finally my time, why was she wanting to stop me?

"God no. Trust me when I say I will _never_ need reminding." Alice growled quite a bit while speaking, so much so that she had to take a breather to cool down before continuing. "It's just, tomorrow is…."

"My birthday." I sighed, realizing it myself with a pang of dread.

"I know it's stupid, but I swear we're cursed. And putting ourselves into immediate danger just seems – it feels scary. Bella I'm scared." Her voice had turned into a small whisper at the end and she desperately reached for my free hand as if it were a security blanket.

I know she expected me to chuckle and laugh her irrational fears off. But instead I took a deep breath and squeezed her hand.

"You're not stupid, you could never be stupid." I brought her hand up to my face and gently pressed my lips on her cool knuckles. "I understand your fears, but this needs to be done. I know you know this."

"I do." She looked down with trembling lips.

"We'll be ok. I promise." Alice still looked rather nervous so I tried to lighten the mood a bit. "If it makes you feel any better, my 17th birthday was just wonderful."

"So I'm the cause of the curse?" She looked horrified at the very thought and I had to back track a bit.

"No! No I just mean they haven't been all bad. Please Alice, the best day of my life before you doesn't even compare to my worst with you." She bit her lip and sighed once more, finally settling on laying her head down on my shoulder as I drove.

"Tell me about it."

"Tell you about what?" Alice giggled at my confusion to her random question.

"Your 17th birthday silly. Tell me about all your birthdays." Her tone held that childlike curiosity that it sometimes got when she asked me about my life before her. I really didn't lead that fascinating of a life before I moved to Forks, but to Alice, everything about me was captivating. Just like everything that I learned about her past life mesmerized me.

So we spent the next few hours reminiscing my old birthdays, or at least the ones I could remember. It was a long drive to our destination and I was grateful for the company. The worrying could come later.

* * *

Lithuania was a beautiful country, and I knew it was a shame I couldn't enjoy it more. I was a woman with a mission and a mate to protect.

My skin began to crawl knowing that I was in the same city that Caius was in. It itched and burned with shame and humility, Caius' specialty.

I must have been squirming without my knowledge, because Alice placed the back of her hand across my cheek, as if to cool down my inflamed skin. Her concern only grew with my state, so I had to shrug it off and swallow it down as if it were a very large pill.

"I'm fine." I said much too gruffly.

"You don't sound fine." Alice raised her eyebrows at me, almost begging me to turn the car around.

"I will be." I said truthfully, my voice much smoother.

"Please don't do anything stupid." She winced at painful memories of the times I had bitten off more than I could chew. And those were much lesser threats.

"I won't." We both nodded as if I had just signed a contract promising not to play the hero.

Caius had been busy since my last time in captivation. While Aro and his main guard went hunting for individuals with extraordinary gifts, Caius silently moved around recruiting the ones with little things to offer. Alistar had received word that one of his nomad friends was being recruited. I was grateful for the information, especially considering the source. But most of the older generation of vampires all agreed that the Volturi's time needed to come to an end. Their recent acts had left plenty of enemies. Vampires had wanted to remain unknown as a species to human kind, and the Volturi had betrayed their own most important rule. The sympathetic ones like the Cullens and Denalis never forgave them for what they did to human kind during that fateful summer, including me. And my reasons, well they were quite personal.

"Bella? Bella we're here." Alice's soft calls shook me from my thoughts. I had paused after parking and it only worried my sweet pixie more. "Are you sure you're alright?" I hopped out of the car and rushed to her side to help her out.

"Never been better."

We walked quietly along the path to an old warehouse where Caius was supposedly staying. Alistar's friend apparently did not want to be recruited, and Caius being Caius refused to leave him alone. It was the Volturi or death in his mind.

"You remember the plan right?" I asked Alice as we drew nearer.

"You distract, I attack and disable, you kill." She repeated back to me monotonously. I know I had drilled this into her, but our plans never seemed to go through. This one would, I would make sure of it.

Once directly outside the building, we became silent, only relying on hand signals. Caius sounded as if he was talking to someone on the phone, our queue to wait. I really didn't want to alert anyone else in the Volturi on our whereabouts. Hopefully it would take them a good few days to figure out that Caius was gone after our work. It would be a nice head start to get the hell out of dodge.

 _"I will not leave here without this one Aro. I refuse to be rejected by some simpleton. He will be ours by the end of the week, I give you my word."_

My skin erupted in chills at the sound of his voice. The last time I heard it…..No. Now is not the time for a panic attack.

Alice heard my rapid heartbeats and shortening of breath and rushed to my side in a panic. She began to tug on my arm in a desperate plea to get us out of here. I looked down at her briefly, her eyes wide with fear like a small child afraid of a monster. There was a monster here, and I wouldn't let her live with it anymore. I rolled my shoulders back and nodded to her calmly, conveying that I was ok. But she did not look any more relieved.

 _"I wouldn't have needed Chelsea anyways! I can get him on my own!"_ The grown ass man screeched into his phone before loudly hanging it up. What a fucking baby. I moved and motioned Alice to follow as we peered around the open doorway.

My eyes zeroed in on my target and it suddenly felt as natural as a hunt. Caius was my prey, and I was the much stronger animal. I looked behind me to signal to Alice that I was about to start my plan, however just by the sight of her, I knew the plan was out the window.

Her eyes were pitch black, blacker than I'd ever seen them. Her body shook violently, almost as if she herself was a shapeshifter and was about to burst from her own skin. A loud snarling growl erupted from her chest, immediately alerting Caius to our presence.

Fuck.

His back stiffened and he turned to face us, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Now isn't this a nice surprise."

"Alice no!" She had lunged before I could grab her and my mind was completely blank.

Well it wasn't blank, it just had about a million thoughts running through it about a mile a minute. I couldn't make any sense of it.

Alice's rage was radiating off of her in resounding waves. If I were human, they would have knocked me on my ass with their shear force.

But that wasn't the reason why my feet had turned to lead. No. It was because I was completely mixed up.

I was the one that always screwed up the plan. I was the impulsive and irrational one in the relationship. I was the fuck up.

Alice was always there to clean up my messes and yell at my idiocy. But now the roles had reversed and I was temporarily lost.

My once tame wife had pounced on Caius, taking us both by surprise. She began to scream many a curse words and several threats as she pounded him into the ground. It was as if I was in an alternative universe. One where Alice jumps to play the hero and shouts out profanities.

Unfortunately Caius' brief moment of confusion ended before mine did, and he fought back much more composed than she. Her mind was not really in a logical state at the time, so it was no surprise when he gained the upper hand.

"You really sent your little bitch after me? Couldn't even do the job yourself _173952_?"

"That's not her name!" Alice choked out from his death grip around her neck. Small cracks began to form around it as he tightened his pressure.

"I _know_ her name. After all, I did help make her." He sneered and continued to slowly crush her weakening skin.

Finally, after god knows how long I stood there like a useless statue, something in me snapped back in place.

He was going to kill her. He was going to kill Alice, my mate, as I sat there and watched, doing absolutely nothing.

I lost all control in my body. The double yellow lines that I had been walking on for so long just became too thin. But the reaction was something that I wasn't expected.

My body exploded into an unwilling shift. The beast inside of me took the reins and lunged at the man with new found fear in his eyes. The wolf had not been let out of its cage for far too long.

Alice fell back onto the ground with a small yelp, but stayed put. From either fright or her own injuries, even she knew not to go near this event unfolding.

The growls from my form echoed all around as I closed in for my greatest revenge. And as I had suspected all along, Caius was the biggest coward of all. Once he faced true power, a real adversary, he crumbled. I finally had the upper hand in this relationship, I had the control. And he was going to pay dearly for his sinful acts.

Ripping him apart was truly exhilarating. Feeling his skin crunch as if it were a mere chip was pure bliss. I'm sure I looked quite rapid while I tore him into shreds, but I didn't care. Even after his screams had long vanished and he only remained as pieces, it wasn't enough. Each bit of skin was much too big for my liking. I wanted him to be a pile of dust before I burnt it into nothing.

After about ten minutes of this barbaric behavior from me, Alice finally called my name softly.

"Bella. I think he's dead." She whispered quietly, obviously worried about my current state. Granted, I was highly annoyed that she had interrupted me. That is until I turned around to growl at her absurd statement and caught sight of her slowly healing neck.

My rage wore away and I melted back into my skin just as uncontrollably as I has shifted out of it.

"Alice your neck." I started my way towards her with a gentle hand outstretched, but she held out her own to sop me.

"Will heal." Her tone was short. Wait, why was she mad at me? Before I had the chance to ask, she sighed and turned away. "Stay there. Let me get you some clothes."

When you were married to a werewolf, it was just common sense to have some spare outfits in the car, no matter the situation. I stood and waited patiently for her while she returned with some jeans and a t shirt.

"Here." She handed them to me carefully and I quickly put them on, still confused by her mood. Yet once again before I could ask she interrupted me. Except this time with an outburst of crying. "Oh Bella I'm so sorry! I could have really fucked everything up and I'm so fucking stupid. I just saw his face and – and I don't know! Something just came over me and I had no control."

I could have laughed if she wasn't so upset. The emotion she was describing to me was exactly what I had just felt.

"I know Alice. I know." I rushed to her side and pulled her tightly into my chest, while still wary of her injury.

"You know?" She squeaked through several dry sobs.

"Why do you think I wolfed out so crazy? I saw him hurting you and something in me just snapped." I could tell that made her feel slightly better, but she continued to cry. "Please stop crying baby. Everything's ok now. See?"

"But it could not have been! I mean, what if he- what if he-?" Alice had turned to look up at me with big round watery eyes and trembling lips.

"But he didn't. And now he never can."

 **Alice POV:**

Bella very sweetly let me cry myself out on her for a little while. The day was very emotional and I was immensely grateful for her patience and forgiveness. I knew she hated it when I cried. She once told me it was her least favorite sound in the world. I understood completely, since seeing her cry was my least favorite thing as well. But sometimes you just can't help it when shit happens.

"Come on. We need to get going." Bella held me close as she prodded me to move. Oh that's right. We just killed a Volturi king. Kind of can't sit there in one place once that happens.

"Oh here. Use this lighter." I tossed her the Romanians lighter instead of the one she was about to use. "If we're lucky, maybe they'll get blamed for it instead." She barked a laugh and smiled as she threw the lit lighter into the pile of Caius.

"You're quite sharp you know."

"Oh I know." My mood was lightening as we walked back to the car. After all, it was a good day.

"However I highly doubt I'd be taken off any shit-list even if Aro believes it was the Romanians." Bella opened the door for me and then jogged to the driver's side. "And yet I don't really care. Actually, I kind of want him to know it was me."

We drove through the country in relative silence, quietly debating where to stay next.

"How does it feel?" I finally asked, not able to contain my question anymore.

"I don't know." She shrugged truthfully. "Right now I'm just hoping I don't wake up from this." I giggled and snuggled her side.

"You won't." I myself, was flying on top of the world right now. To know that my mate would never be touched by him again, that was something I couldn't even describe. It was a mix of great relief and joy.

Eventually we settled on staying in Poland for the night and then we'd decide where next in the morning. Bella tried to get us a shabby hotel, but I insisted on a high end one to celebrate the occasion. We deserved a little luxury once in a while.

"You spoil me too much." She smirked once we entered our suite. It was early in the evening and I was feeling good.

"And I love to. Now come on, the night is still young. How about a shower and a rally? After all, it is still your birthday."

"Sounds like a plan." She chucked and sat down on the bed to remove her shoes as I busied myself with picking out an outfit for the evening.

"What are you thinking Bells? Dinner maybe? We could go dancing." I smiled at the thought and waited for Bella's affirmative, but only silence greeted me. "Well fine we don't have to go dancing. But we should at least do something to celebrate. Dealer's choice." Once again there was no response and a slight panic grew in my chest. "Bella?" I turned around to make sure some god awful luck did not somehow come our way after all. But the sight that welcomed me positively made me coo.

My loving wolf was half slumped, one shoe off, the other halfway there, and an unbuckled belt, lightly snoring. My face had broken into a wide smile at her most innocent form.

As stealthily as possible, I made my way over to her and helped out with the other shoe, ultimately carefully pushing her back into the bed. But as it turns out, it didn't really matter how tender I was, Bella was out cold. In fact, I'd never seen her so deep in sleep before. And that's when the realization of how much Caius had affected her life hit me like a brick wall.

All this fear, all this guilt, shame, and anger she had been holding onto, she could finally let go.

So this was what happened when all that mental stress left her life. She could finally sleep. And now I had a new favorite sound on earth, the sound of a snoring wolf.

One down. One to go.


	34. Heavenly Peace

_I often fantasize the stars above are watching you_

 _They know my heart it speak to yours like lovers only do_

 _If I could wear your clothes, I'd pretend I was you_

 _And lose control_

 _There'll be some love-making, heartbreaking, soul-shaking love_

* * *

 **Chapter 34** **: Heavenly Peace**

 **Bella POV:**

A warm burst of sunshine slowly woke me from my deep slumber. I was wrapped up in the softest cocoon of feathers and fresh smelling cotton. Wait, why was I so comfortable? And who in god's name is tickling my ear?

"Alice! Whaaaa-?!" I tried to break free of the sheet contraption I was under to find the danger I was so used to. But instead Alice's tinkling laughter met my newly awoken ears as I squinted through my overly bright surroundings.

"Is this how you wake up when you have no nightmares? Have you ever gone twenty four hours without thinking you're in danger?" I merely grunted and continued my struggle to see properly. "Are you alright?" Her laughing ceased and she leaned on top of me to check if I was ok.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." I whispered, my eyes finally focusing on the beautiful face in front of me. "Just a little disorientated."

"Well I would imagine so." Her jovial mood returned once she knew I was in good health. "You were pretty much dead to the world for three days."

"Three days?!" I stuck a finger in my ear, hoping to clear out something that had obstructed my hearing. "You can't be serious?"

"I'm afraid I am my dear." She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair in order to try and tame my three day old bed head.

"Shit." I felt bad about leaving Alice with only herself for company for three days. "Wait did we move? Aro and the guard-"

"Have no idea where we are." She smiled and pinched my cheek as I tried to get up in a panic again. "We are currently in Australia, so I think we have a good few days before we have to move again. Maybe even weeks if we don't leave the cottage." Alice wiggled even closer to me and rested her chin on my propped up knee, innocent eyes looking up at me.

"How did you get me here? I slept the entire time?"

"You do remember I have vampire strength right? And you weigh like nothing."

"Still must have looked pretty awkward though." I grinned at the mental image of Alice carrying my snoring and drooling body around.

"Nah. I just told people I was kidnapping you. People are always so strangely nice to me."

"Cause you're fucking adorable." I grunted at her annoyingly charming smirk. I gave her a chaste kiss and then quickly pulled down the collar of her shirt, my memory finally catching up.

"Bellaaaa. I'm fine." Alice tried fruitlessly to push me off as I inspected her injury.

"No you're not. This is barely even healed." I cried, tracing my fingers along the semi closed cracks on her neck. "Have you hunted?"

"I'm fine."

"Last time I check, I'm fine is not a proper response to a yes or no question." I arched my eyebrow at her lack of response to my worry. She can't get pissed at me when I do the exact same thing when I'm injured. If I had to put up with her overprotectiveness, she had to deal with mine. This was a two way street.

"It's healing. Just on its own time." She bit her lip and tried to stifle a cry of pain when I gently poked the exposed area.

"Come on." I grabbed her waist with a firm hand and roughly threw us up out of bed. Alice had to steady me immediately when my legs didn't quite work.

"You should really rest Bella." Her stall tactic would not work on me today.

"Nope. I need fresh air and a good stretch, and you need to hunt. Now, we could stand here and argue about it for a while, or we could nicely go about our day. Either way you are going outside, even if I have to throw you over my shoulder, it's happening." Alice grumbled and was obviously taking both her options seriously, but eventually logic won her over and she threw her hands up in defeat.

"Fine!" She stomped her way past me in a childish fit of rage. "You are the most annoying wife in the whole damn world."

"Awwww. That's not true babe." I feigned a hurt expression before smiling devilishly. "That top prize has always been your honor."

To my great surprise, I had stumbled right out into the middle of a forest. Alice giggled at my moment of confusion as I openly gaped at our surroundings. The inside of the cottage was really its own little world.

"Did I do a good job?" She asked with a hint of amusement. "I was a bit tired of living out of cars."

"Amazing." I breathed out. The wolf inside of me bristled with delight. Alice must have noticed a physical cue from me because she positively cooed with delight.

"Does someone wanna come out and play?" She used her puppy voice, the one I hated and loved at the same time. I nodded dumbly, much like a mute dog, and waited for Alice's ok. God I'm becoming too domesticated. "Well go on. Let her out." I grinned widely and began to strip happily into my freedom.

Alice let me run around carelessly with her for hours, until I finally remembered the whole purpose of our outing. I stopped abruptly and the pixie came crashing into me out of surprise.

"Bella!" She cried, wiping dirt and plant life off her now not so perfect Alice looking outfit. "You can't just stop out of the blue like that! You know I can't see your decisions!" I whined a pathetic apology and she rolled her eyes at my undeniable cuteness.

"Fine. Why'd you stop anyways?" Alright this was going to be difficult to explain with no words. But my wolf was not done stretching and what was the point of phasing back into human form when I was just going to shift again once I explained she still needed to hunt. Plus, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I am a master at charades.

Alice watched as I whined at her and then showed off my canines, pretending to bite into something rather violently. It must have looked quite strange because she stood there with a blank expression.

"What is happening right now? Are you going insane from oversleeping? Is this some weird werewolf thing?" I huffed out my annoyance and motioned with my head for her to follow.

My ears perked up and I listened intently for nearby signs of wildlife. Birds, reptiles, and insects were surrounding us. Where were all the god damn mammals? Finally I heard the heartbeat of a larger creature and zoned in on its location.

A large wombat sat alone while we approached, and a groan from Alice let me know she finally got my gist.

"Doesn't it ever bother you that I hunt animals? I mean you technically are one." I was not a master at charades, and nor was Alice a master at delaying the unavoidable.

I puffed out some air loudly once again and roughly poked my nose into her stomach. It was still not my day at getting my point across so I had to bow my head, signaling me, and lifted a careful paw to awkwardly point at her. _I_ _care about you_.

"Fine! But please turn back into a human after we're done. I miss your words. As cute as you are trying to explain things to me." She pat my head a few times and then took control of the hunt.

I walked away a few feet and then bowed down with a good stretch while Alice fed. It took her a good couple of woodland creatures to suffice her thirst, and once she was done, her appearance was very un-Alice like, covered in dirt and wildlife. There was a particularly large smudge of dirt across her cheek and I couldn't help but bark a laugh at her.

"What?" Alice leaned down to my level and I snuck a wet kiss in, effectively cleaning her face. "Ugh!" She stumbled backwards in disgust, fueling my continuing laughter. "I hate it when you do that!" Except her eyes twinkled in the way that told me she secretly liked it.

Once Alice's eyes were a molten gold color, and my legs felt back to normal, I started a slow wander back to the cottage. However, a little hell raiser decided to suddenly attach herself onto my back.

"If you're allowed to lick me, I'm allowed to ride you." I almost phased back _just_ so I could say ' _that's what she said'_. Instead I merely wolf chuckled and continued walking. But Alice must have read my thoughts because she giggled and tugged my ears playfully. "Your mind needs a good scrubbing my love." I gave us a good shake as if I were drying my fur, and made her gasp and grab onto my fur for dear life. Once I knew she was secured, I decided to have a little fun.

"Bella!" She cried and laughed simultaneously while I sprinted us both through the woods.

Caius was dead. Caius was _dead_. And _I_ was the one that killed him.

My feet were lighter than they've ever felt. My body was smooth and sleek, I could weave and bob through trees as if they were nothing. Even the air itself was full of this energy. It was something I'd never felt before. Or maybe I had, but it had been so long since I've been so free that I've forgotten. Freedom. Freedom at last.

"I think I like this Bella." Alice stated happily while jumping off my back when we returned to the cottage.

"I think I like her too." I had finally phased back and began to put my clothes back on. "I feel good." I was honestly surprised at how good I was feeling. Like I wanted to do something with this energy. Something big. If only I hadn't already married Alice…

"Me too. I'm so – what are you doing?!" Now that she had fed, I had gone back into my mate mode, inspecting her neck again. My sudden attack on her neck must have scared her a bit because she jumped back slightly before relaxing into my touch as I began to poke and prod her prior injury. "All good right?"

It was. I pulled back, feeling much better.

"Satisfied?" She asked once it looked like I was done.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Good!" Alice chirped and took my hand. "Because it's my turn to check your body." She purred into my ear, while running her hands up my abdomen.

"Y-yeah?" What was it about her that made me a nervous kid again?

"Yeah." Dazzling white teeth smirked at me and soon I found myself being tugged into the bathroom by my belt.

* * *

 **Alice POV:**

She was so damn sexy. Even when she stuttered nervously or had clumsy moments, everything about her turned me on. Was that a mate thing? Or was that a being in love kind of thing?

I love watching Bella sleep, it was never boring. So the three days spent by her side were good days in my mind. However, the lack of nightmares did leave some other _effects_. Of course I would take the sexy dream over the nightmare any day, but having to sit there and watch it, and _smell_ it, and not being able to do anything with her, that was tough. So I guess you could say that I was itching for a release at this point.

Hours later, we both lay completely naked and content in the softest of beds. Bella's face was flushed, her hair all matted, and there were tiny healing scratch marks all along her body. I couldn't help but beam at my good work.

"What?" Bella had noticed my cocky attitude.

"Just admiring." She blushed and I laid my head down on her chest. Just then I felt her stifle a yawn.

"Why am I so tired? I just slept for three straight days!"

"Because you've been sleep deprived for two years." I didn't mean to sound so blunt, but it was true. "You can't make that up in three days."

"Oh." Bella's chest sort of deflated and I immediately turned and cupped her face.

"Baby I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that. But you really haven't." I ran the pads of my fingers along the dark circles under her eyes, which had already lightened up. "You'll still have nightmares. I'm not going to be completely unrealistic and think you won't, but I hope that maybe over time, they'll lessen to very rare occurrences." She nodded into my palm somberly.

"Well, Caius being dead does help quite a bit." We looked at each other with the most serious expressions until there was an outbreak of giggles.

"Yes I suppose it does." I whispered after my fit had simmered down. My eyes trailed back down to her body and my hand went with it. "Knowing that no one will ever touch you again. No one but me."

"Mmmm. I like the sound of that." Her voice was laced with sleep as she rolled us to the side, keeping me secured to her chest as if I were her security blanket.

"What do you think will happen? You know, after all the Volturi are gone and finished?" It probably wasn't the best time to ask such a question, with Bella about to fall asleep and all, but I usually just say whatever comes to my mind. And right now, for some unknown reason, that was on the forefront of it.

"I'm not sure." Bella mumbled into my hair while she readjusted the position of her legs. "But we can cross that bridge when we come to it."

"You know, you could take over." That thought had been in my head for a while actually. I mean, she was strong, logical, and I think very fair. She was a born leader and she didn't care for the shenanigans of royalty. A perfect fit in my opinion.

Apparently Bella did not agree because a very loud snort reached my ears.

"Be serious Al."

"But I am. I really think you'd be great at it." Bella just yawned widely again and kept her eyes closed.

"I seriously doubt that." I could tell she was seconds away from falling asleep and it was not the time to bring up an inevitable argument. So I just sighed and let the subject go. For now.

"We'll see." It's like Bella said, we can cross that bridge when it comes time to.

* * *

 **A/N: So I just realized it's been just over a year since I started writing and that's fucking crazy. So much has happened since then. Anyways, I'm still sorry for taking so long. But it's coming down to the end which I'm sure you can tell, and I wanna end it right you know. I shall see you all next update :) Hopefully not as long as this one took**


	35. Are You Willing To Take That Risk?

_We could be born to anything and now, and now_

 _What you have done is terrible_

 _And now, and now_

 _Now you carry it with you_

 _You carry it with you_

 _You carry it with you_

* * *

 **Chapter 35:** **Are You Willing To Take That Risk?**

 **Alice POV**

"London."

"We were just there."

"Hawaii?"

"Too secluded."

"Ugh!" I groaned in annoyance at the endless conversation at hand. Bella smiled at me and moved her knight to capture my last pawn. "Would you care to share any ideas?"

"Hmmmm. I don't know. I much prefer watching you struggle." I gave her a death glare and she chuckled as I carefully thought over my next move. "How about Canada?"

"I don't know Bella." I moved my rook a few spaces and continued to strategize. "Aro doesn't seem like he would set up camp in Canada."

"Wouldn't that make it the perfect place for him to hide then?" She rested her chin in the palm of her hand and effortlessly took one of my bishops.

"Not Aro. He's all flash and confidence. Especially now that it's coming down to the end. He knows there's going to be a showdown and he'll want the perfect place. Something gody and ironic." Bella paused for a moment before murdering my game.

"Son of a bitch."

"What are you mad about? You just beat me. Also you're supposed to say check mate Bella."

"No not the game." She stood up and began to pace, something she did when her mind began to reel. Almost as if her body couldn't keep still when she was thinking with so much effort. "Aro." Bella continued her furious pacing and mumbled agitatedly.

"Ok Bells, you gotta spit it out." I had waited patiently for long enough. She released a frustrated growl before slumping back into her chair.

"Forks."

"Forks?" I replied dumbly. "As in Forks, Washington? Why there?"

"Significance." Bella looked purely defeated at this point. I think there was some part of her hoping that this final battle would never come to be. And honestly, I think she was terrified. "Significance to me. Significance to you. Significance to my family, old and new."

"What's wrong? Why does it sound like you've already lost?" I was missing the fire, the soldier in her ready to plan Aro's demise.

"I can't do it Alice."

"What do you mean you can't do it?" I hopped off my chair and onto the ground in front of her, pressing my palms into her knees. "You just singlehandedly killed Caius. How could you not be rearing to go for a taste of Aro's venom."

"What if- what if it all comes down to me? And he's there all defenseless, no guard or anything, but I just can't do it? What if I can't kill my sire?"

"Well, that's what I'm here for."

"But what if you're not?"

"What do you mean? Where am I in this situation?"

"I don't know! What if you're incapacitated somehow and it's up to me to save you? What if-"

"Bella." I interrupted her before she could really start her hypotheticals. "That is one unlikely scenario of about a million possible ones that could unfold. And if it does somehow come down to that, I trust that you would do whatever it takes to save me. That's what you do, remember?"

"But what if-?"

"Stop worrying. You worry too much." I could tell she was frightened, and unfortunately her worry always involved me. Yes I was touched by how much she cared, but she was going to worry herself to death at this rate.

"I only do it because I care." Bella whispered sheepishly. I chuckled and grazed her face with my fingertips.

"I know that. Of course I know that Bells. Most worrying is done out of love. But sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. As you and I both know, we seem to have a habit of planning until it's perfect and then things, well excuse my French, but things go to shit." My swearing brought a slight smirk to her face, but a scowl soon replaced it.

"There is so much at stake." Her eyes watered and I knew she was thinking about her worst case scenario: losing me.

"I know. Trust me, I don't take this lightly." A flash of my very similar worst case scenario went through my head and I had to suppress a shudder. "But we can't be afraid. That's exactly what Aro wants. If we want to beat him, we have to beat his expectations of us."

"There are so many." Luckily we had been together for long enough that I knew what she meant by that. There were a lot of vampires to overcome in this final battle. Most of the guard was still intact.

"Hey, look at me." Whenever Bella became frightened she wouldn't meet my eyes, as if she was afraid I would see the fear in them. Always my protector. Eventually with my gentle coaxing, her dark burgundy orbs met my gold ones. "We can do this. I bet you we can. And you know never to bet against me."

"I love you."

"I know." My nose brushed hers before I pulled myself into her lap and rested my head on her shoulder. "I love you too."

* * *

The days of planning went by in a blur, and all too soon the feeling of constant butterflies in my stomach was present again. Yes, we said no extreme planning, but we're not stupid. We needed at least the shell of a strategy before walking into unknown terrors.

"I'm going to throw up." Bella groaned with her head in her hands, her body obviously uncomfortable in the tiny airplane seat.

"Just remember to breathe." I gently reminded her while running a calming hand over her hunched over back. "And stop tugging on your hood. You're drawing more suspicion doing so."

Getting quick false identification documents was already troublesome enough as it was. But Bella's nerves were so bad, I was honestly surprised we were able to board without security thinking we were up to something.

"Try taking your mind off of it." I suggested as she began to shake harder. A dry laugh met my ears and I could tell she was seconds away from a breakdown.

"Taking my mind off of it? How in the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know." If my calmness was the only thing keeping her sort of sane, I had to maintain it. "How about what you'd like to do first after it's all said and done?"

"No. If I think that way then I curse this whole thing. I'm not thinking about the after until the time comes." The plane bounced with a small bump of turbulence and Bella clutched my hand.

"Are you afraid of flying?" I asked at the sudden movement. All of my experiences of flying with her before flashed through my head, but she was almost always asleep.

"Sorta."

"I never knew that. You've never told me that before, and we've flown a lot." Guilt crept up on me as I realized how much flying I had put her through.

"I don't like to vocalize it that much."

"Well you should! God Bella, I mean we're married and you're still trying to maintain this image of being unbreakable. Please fucking stop that shit." One look at Bella, who must have shrunken down in shame as I lectured, and I immediately felt bad once again. "Shit I'm sorry for the way I said that, we're both under a lot of stress right now. But I stand by it."

"Sorry." There was a slight awkward silence, however I noticed the small fight had caused Bella's nervous shaking to cease. An idea of distraction grew in my head.

"Why are you afraid of flying?"

"I don't know. Ever since I learned how to fly myself. I guess I just know all the things that could go wrong."

"Hmmm. But you like flying yourself? That doesn't freak you out?"

"Well no, cause I'm in –"

"Control." I finished for her. Yeah, I was definitely married to an alpha.

"Um, yeah." Her cheeks flushed and she tugged at the hair on the back of her neck rather self-consciously. "Does that bother you? The fact that I'm like this?" Another bump jolted the plane and she closed her eyes and squeezed my hand even harder.

"No. Because when things get tough, my big alpha squeezes _my_ hand for reassurance." A tense smile made its way to her face.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For always knowing when and how to distract me."

* * *

Once we landed in Port Angeles it was full steam ahead. Bella and I had a small debate on the drive over about whose house Aro probably chose, mine or hers. However eventually we came to the probable conclusion that he had gone with mine, on account of the fact that he had to house what was left of his guard. Aro may be cocky, a little bit insane even, but he was not senseless. He was going to use every gun he had left.

We decided it was most logical to park about five miles away from the manor and make our way on foot from there. Aro would have most likely sent a few scouts on the grounds to be on the lookout.

Bella and I shared a silent moment when we exited the car. There were a lot of things that could go wrong once we started. I sort of didn't want to go just for that reason. But the time had come, and we both nodded before starting our stealthy hike through the woods.

The deeper we went into the forest, the more apprehensive I became. I mean, there were just two of us. Two of us against at least, seven? I began to count vampires in my head.

Aro, Jane, Felix, Afton, Santiago, Corin, and Renata. But what about the recruiting Aro had been up to? Was that successful? What in the hell were we walking into?

I was an alright fighter, but not nearly as good as Jasper, or even Rosalie. What the fuck are we doing here with no help? Just as I was about to stop Bella and ask to call for back up, she motioned for us to hide behind the nearest tree. Well, there's no going back now.

Afton sat alone, softly humming to himself. Bella craned her neck around the tree to get another good look at the scene, making sure it was him and him alone.

 _Got the matches?_ She mouthed to me. I nodded, not knowing how on Earth she was this calm. She gave me a quick head nod before silently jumping on Afton and tearing his head from his body before he had the chance to scream.

I stood there dazed for a moment before remembering my job of fire duty. My hands shook violently as I lit the match and ran to catch up with Bella.

"Alright. Once the fire gets big enough they'll be able smell that something's up. We have to move quickly. Ready?" I wanted to say no. I wanted to knock her out and get us the hell out here, out of any danger. But my mouth betrayed me.

"Yes." Bella smiled briefly before taking off again, this time much faster than before.

About two minutes later we ran into Corin, who right when she heard our presence, went to shout for assistance. However Bella slammed her hand into her mouth right before the sound left her throat. Again another head fell and I struggled to keep up.

"Did she bite you?" I whispered while we jogged closer to my former home.

"Just a graze." Bella shrugged and wiped the blood from her hand onto her pants hastily.

"But the venom?" The sick part of me was hoping this would put a stop in our plans.

"I have a small tolerance remember? The one bright side of being tortured continuously with it."

My stomach felt ill as I suddenly remembered why we were doing this. It wasn't like I forgot, dear lord I never could, but the fear had temporarily blinded me from the truth. Every life we took today was a person that had harmed my mate. Every vampire we slaughtered had a hand in causing the nightmares that plagued my wife's sleep. Every soul we snuffed would never have the chance of hurting anyone ever again. My feet suddenly felt much lighter.

As we approached the house, our pace went back to a creep. We listened intently for any signs of distress.

Renata, Santiago, and a new vampire that I had never seen before stood arguing just outside the front door. It sounded as if they were fighting about the possible smell of a burning vampire nearby.

 _"I'm telling you, that's not a normal campfire smell!"_

 _"Stop being paranoid. We would have heard if something was awry by now."_

 _"I'm calling Afton."_

 _"Don't disturb him with your hysterics. He doesn't have the patience for such things."_

 _"Just let me call him!"_

 _"Fine!"_ Bella strained to listen to the ongoing argument while I tuned out to listen for what I really wanted to hear.

 _"When do you think they'll come?"_

 _"Don't worry Jane my dear. You'll have your revenge for your brother soon enough. I suspect any day now. Carlisle is no fool."_

My skin felt jumpy and I tugged on Bella's arm to motion her around the back. She looked momentarily confused, but took faith in me as I lead us.

Taking out Aro and Jane first seemed a much wiser move. Without the guidance of Aro, hopefully the rest would be too confused to fight properly, or maybe even give up. One can only hope. The three in front would also, with any luck, be going on a man hunt soon once Afton and Corin would not pick up their phones. Finally Bella heard Aro and Jane inside as I just had, and realization crossed her face. Realization and, fear?

Yes, it was definitely a brief flash of dread I saw. But it was replaced with a mask of confidence just as quickly as it had come.

Bella pulled her gun and switched the safety off before giving me one last head nod to signal go time.

The breath in my body left as we took those few steps crashing into the house. Bella took aim and pulled one shot out pointed directly at Aro's back. But our luck had run out, and Aro side stepped the shot just as easily as a minor dance maneuver. She moved to tackle him instead, however in a blur of motion I was picked up and slammed against a wall.

"Make one more step 173952, and I kill her." Felix kept a steady hand on my neck, turning me to face the scene unfolding in front of us. Bella made a slight motion to continue, Felix wasn't enough to stop her, but Jane let out a feral snarl.

"And I'll do much worse."

Desperate crimson eyes pleaded with mine, not knowing what to do. I tried to convey composure, but my body betrayed me, shaking uncontrollably. Aro knew that shot was coming much too earlier than he should have. I feared we were being played with, on the losing end of a physiological war, and about to be on the bad end of a physical one as well.

"Tut tut. Where's the rest of the clan?" Aro asked with a gleam of joy covering his face. When neither of us responded, a small frown came over it. "I was really hoping to destroy the entire Cullen coven in one go this evening. But alas, this will do in the meantime."

Aro carefully moved around the room, calculating exactly the spot he needed to be, as if he had rehearsed this numerous times. Bella stood stiff as a statue, unsure of his intentions. Her muscles strained painfully as she fretted for my safety at the moment.

"I have to admit myself impressed with you 173952. Caius was no easy feat, but you've proven yourself worthy of my blood, or shall I say, venom." I growled at his addressment of my wife, but was snuffed by a tighter grip from Felix. It bothered me deeply that Bella had come so accustomed to this behavior from him, not even a flinch was observed from his treatment.

 _She's not some serial number_.

Aro only smiled wider at my reaction to this, loving the way he could manipulate our emotions so easily.

"Even now, I'll confess my astonishment over your quick work of my guard. But my dear, we all know that father knows best." I could not contain my growl of disgust at this.

"What kind of sick father tortures his self-proclaimed daughter with no known mercy?" I shouted before Felix could suppress me once more.

Aro began to approach me, smile never faltering, and studied me under a keen eye. Bella remained rigid, ready to strike if he came too close for her comfort.

"You seem to have plenty opinions to voice little Alice. No need to censor her Felix, let's hear what she's got to say."

I knew it was a trap. I knew I was falling right into his well thought out plan. But in the heat of the moment I could not stop myself. The man I had dreamed of facing for years was finally in front of me, and yes, there were many things I wanted to say to him.

"There is not enough pain in the world that I could wish upon you." I spat viciously in his face. From the corner of my eye I noticed Bella quiver, afraid of Aro's retaliation for my dare to him.

"Just let me kill them already!" Jane finally screamed, as if she was a small child throwing a temper tantrum.

"Relax my dear. Only one will die here today." The sick feeling in my stomach grew exponentially and I could taste venom rising. This grim statement from Aro prompted Bella to speak at last.

"You let her live, and I'll join your guard. Willingly."

"Bella!" I gasped, betrayed by her offer. I would much rather die than watch her join the ranks of the Volturi.

"Not now Alice!"

"I won't let you."

"It's not up to you!"

"Enough squabbling!" Felix had grown annoyed of our argument. However, Aro looked like he could do this all day.

"Oh calm down Felix. I enjoy toying with them." Aro paced around and caressed my face with his knuckles. I couldn't help the grimace that it caused. "Unfortunately, little Alice here is not the one that will die tonight."

"Well go on then. Snap my neck, rip my heart out, whatever you please." Bella growled with no emotion at her impending doom. "I'm the only one here that's really immortal. We both know that I will eventually kill you. Whether it's today, or a hundred years from now, your clock started ticking the second you made me."

"As truly wonderful as that speech was, I'm afraid none of it is true." He paused, building the anticipation as only Aro would do. "Nature cannot create something that cannot die, that would go against everything it is. So everything on this Earth, and that includes you 173952, has a flaw. Something that will cause their time here to end."

Just as a new kind of anxiety began to creep into my chest, one I hadn't felt since my wife was a clumsy human, Bella barked a rather loud laugh.

"I call bullshit."

"Excuse me?" I was taken aback as much as Aro.

"I said I call bullshit. You want to make me afraid. You want me to turn around and stop hunting after you, so you've decided to use fear tactics to keep me away. If you make me think you have some magical way to kill me, you think I'll just leave you be. But I don't play your games anymore." She was right, it was an Aro like thing to do. But there was something there I couldn't trust. He had worked so hard on this plan. Sure he was sadistic, an evil mastermind even, and I wouldn't put it past him to invent some idea of some previously unknown thing killing my mate. But his smile never faltered, and as evil as he was, mastermind is still part of that description.

"You have died many times 173952."

"Yes I have." She quipped, gaining more confidence while mine was plummeting.

"And in very many ways."

"I have you to thank for that." Bella said sarcastically.

"Well you're quite welcome." Aro countered as the tensions were rising. "But can I ask you to recall something for me? Have you ever been given my venom after the first dose that made you?"

Bella initially smirked, ready to snap back at him, but her face paused for a second in thought. Only a few agonizingly slow seconds went by, but those seconds were all it took for the atmosphere in the room to change. Aro was back in control.

"No?" He taunted, finally stepping away from me and towards Bella now. My instincts were screaming as he neared her. "Still so confident?"

"I still don't believe it. Just because you treat your venom like it's liquid fucking gold doesn't suddenly put me at risk."

"But it would be fitting wouldn't it? The thing that gave you life, is the thing that can take it away."

"And yet you have no proof. You're all talk, like always."

"You hurt me with your false accusations dear. You claim I am some lazy liar, but I've been painstakingly working on this. You know me so little." He walked over to a nearby table and despite ourselves, Bella and I both peered to see what he was getting. "I had so many samples of your blood, I thought why not test some things. Oh do I owe Carlisle, his instruments here have helped me a tremendous amount. When you see him next time little Alice, please give him my best regards. And apologies for killing his youngest daughter of course, but I figured that would be a given." Aro returned with a syringe in hand. Just from the viscosity alone I could tell it was vampire venom.

I looked to Bella, who looked to me in return. I could tell she was confused, unsure possibly, and I was terrified of what fate that needle could hold.

"But you say you need proof, and I couldn't agree more. The initial results with your blood cells were promising, and I'm sure if this here needle was plunged immediately into your heart you would not be able to really savor the proof. So will a scratch of it do?" He now pulled a small blade and emptied a bit of the venom onto it, covering the metal. "It will take a while to reach your heart, but I feel the pain will be worth it."

All too sudden, his eyes dilated pitch black and Aro took a very aggressive step forward, knife held at arm's length. Bella backtracked and automatically turned away from the attack, causing the blade to catch the side of her face before she could get out of reach.

The room went silent, all I could hear was Bella's stammering heart. At first she almost laughed, wiping some blood from the medium sized wound near her left eye. It didn't look that bad, maybe a few stitches were needed, but really it could heal within the hour. Bella started to smile and look up at me as if to say _don't worry, he was full of shit._ But life was never that kind when it came to her.

In an instant the pain had dropped her screaming on the floor. Aro stepped back, pleased with his work for the time being.

"Bella! No!" Felix's arm cage was nothing on me after this scene. I broke from his grasp and then debated which person needed me first. Kill Aro, destroy Jane, or try and aid Bella? Before I could make a decision however, Jane made hers and brought me to my knees clutching my head that I was sure was splitting.

It was a nightmare. No, it was much worse than a nightmare. I couldn't tell which was worse, Jane's torturing, or the agony of watching and listening to Bella.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. What had we done wrong in life to deserve this? Why did Aro get to have his way? Wasn't the good always supposed to trump the bad?

 _She's dying. She's dying and you can't even save her._ Would they kill me too once they were finished? I hoped they would. But even if they didn't, I wouldn't live long without her. With the thought of Bella and me dying together, I felt at peace. I couldn't move, but at least it would be over soon enough. _She would never have to experience pain anymore. We could finally be together and free, at long last._

"Alice!" Was that a voice of an angel maybe? It was beautiful, like bells. "Bella! Someone fucking grab him!" The voice sounded panicked, not the mood I was hoping for in the afterlife. Maybe I had gone to hell after all.

"Alice? Can you hear me? Open your damn eyes!" Someone was shaking me quite violently, so I opened my eyes see who was disturbing my peaceful death.

"Is she ok? What's wrong with her Emmett?" Big golden eyes shined down on me, lifting me up into a standing position. But my feet weren't working.

"I don't know Rose! Shell shock? Carlisle would slapping her work?"

"Normally I would say no, but desperate times call for desperate measures." A very panic stricken man called to my – my brother? My head still felt fuzzy and there were so many noises. Something hard hit my face and I fell back into another set of arms, these ones were much gentler than the others.

"Alice you need to tell us what happened. What's wrong with Bella?" _Bella._

The sounds became distinguishable again, but to my horror all I could hear was Bella's cries of suffering. _But she's alive. For now._

I pushed my mother's arms off of me and crawled towards my struggling mate, trying to soothe anything I could. However this was no nightmare she could wake up from or be comforted back into reality with.

"Alice what happened?!" Carlisle screamed with alarm written all over his face.

"Aro. Aro's venom." I choked, throat scratchy and sore from my windpipe being crushed by Felix.

"It should stop soon then, right?" Esme came back over and tried to cradle Bella as she squirmed. But she could tell this was no ordinary bout, something was wrong.

"He-he said it will kill her once it gets to her heart. Kill her for real."

"But-but he could be lying." Emmett said too fast, trying to reassure himself.

"Look at what is happening right now! Do you really want to take that risk?!" Rosalie practically cried, desperately looking at Carlisle and I for answers.

"Carlisle-Carlisle honey what do we do?" Esme shook, still trying to comfort Bella as she howled. "Carlisle I can't lose her."

"I-I don't- I don't know." Carlisle looked around frantically at his former house, thinking of any tools or instruments he could use to help. Meanwhile Bella began to beg for someone to take her out of her misery. My heart clenched at the coming fate.

"FUCKING KILL HER!"

"WHAT!?" Carlisle turned to the person who suggested such a thing. Liam stood near a small pile of body parts, what remained of Felix.

"Kill her! Stop her heart from pumping so the venom won't reach it."

"How do you know that won't kill her for good anyways?!" Rosalie countered, everyone's panicked minds making things oh so much worse.

"I don't. But would you rather sit here and watch her die, or do something about it?"

"It's too risky!"

"WHAT OTHER CHOICES DO WE HAVE?" The others began to argue, but I sat and listened to Bella's heart. The rhythmic sound of my home calling to me. It would always tell me what to do.

She was going to die. If I'm assuming Aro was telling the truth, which it looks to be that way right now, she was going to die within minutes, possibly less than that. But there was a small chance that if someone killed her before the venom reached her heart, she would wake up per usual. However, there was also the very large chance that she would never wake up. Was I willing to take that risk, knowing that if I did so, she would die at my hands instead of Aro's?

I didn't have to think for long. I knew my answer, and I also knew Bella's. Without hesitation, I pulled Bella into my lap and cradled her neck, feeling around for the spot I wanted.

"ALICE NO!"

"Bella please wake up." I whispered before snapping her neck in one fluid movement.

The screams died out. The shouting died out. The noise died out.

The heart pulled tight against my chest, died out.


	36. Wake Up

_I've earned through hope and faith_

 _The curves around your face_

 _That I'm the one you'll hold forever._

 _If morning never comes for either one of us,_

 _Then this I pray to you wherever._

 _I'll do anything for you._

 _This story is for you._

 _I'll do anything for you,_

 _Kill anyone for you._

 _So leave yourself intact_

 _'Cause I won't be coming back._

 _In a phrase to cut these lips,_

 _I loved you._

 _The morning will come_

 _In the press of every kiss_

 _With your head upon my chest_

 _Where I will annoy you_

 _With every waking breath_

 _Until you decide to wake up_

* * *

 **Chapter 36** **: Wake Up**

 **Alice POV**

 _Alice no!_

 _Bella please wake up._

My eyes squeezed shut and my hands ached. Everything throbbed. My familiar home brought no feeling of warmth with it now.

I sat in vigil. A guard standing over the body of a fallen soldier.

 _Please wake up_

The relentless torture of the ticking clock behind me continued its dull rhythm, reminding me of exactly how long it had been.

 _Eight hours, twenty six minutes, and forty five seconds. Forty six. Forty seven…_

We sat alone, content but not comfortable in my old room. Our old room.

The house remained stiff and silent. A reunited family hushed by a pending outcome.

My chest wheezed painfully as I felt another panic attack coming. I closed my eyes again and thought of the only person that could calm me down.

"Why are you afraid?" The image of Bella sat casually on the bed next to her body. If my Bella couldn't be here, at least my imaginary one could be.

"I can't lose you."

"But you can't really ever lose me." Her eyes twinkled and she winked at me. Despite the situation, and my teetering sanity, I rolled my eyes.

"Not what I mean Bella." She smiled and peered down at herself, frowning.

"Do _you_ think I'll wake up?"

"I don't know." My hands began to shake violently again and I shook my head side to side. "I can't talk about this. Please change the topic."

"Can you see me?"

"You're right in front of me." I whispered, confused by the question.

"No, can you _see_ me?"

"Oh." I concentrated hard, looking desperately for any future of my mate. "No. But I haven't been able to for years. That doesn't mean…"

"But what about your future? You can see your future right?"

"I-I don't know." Once I again I focused on the future, this time for mine. "Please stop. I can't keep talking about this."

"I don't really have control of the topics here." Bella's shadow shrugged and slumped back against the bed.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm not really her Alice. I'm just your mind's image of her. So I speak whatever is on your mind." I pondered this and sat down next to the real Bella, deflated. The wound from Aro's venom had not yet healed, only fueling my concern more. "Do you think it'll scar?" Shadow Bella asked, watching me study my wife's face.

"I don't know. Honestly as long as you wake up, I wouldn't care if you have a hundred scars. I'd love you just the same." I ran my fingers along the angry red line that fell down across her face, just narrowly missing her eye.

"Don't I though?" My imaginary Bella had become serious as she laid a hand on her chest. "I have much more than a hundred scars."

"Yes. I guess you do." I sighed and looked back down again. Bella had more mental scars than anyone I had ever known. "And yet here I am, still loving you."

"Here you are." The imitator smiled and her eyes gleamed so realistically, I had to look away before my heart throbbed.

My ears twitched as I heard the coming footsteps of another to my door.

"Alice? Can I come in?" It was Rosalie. A rare and nerve wracking thing to hear, a request from my sister to enter my room with permission.

 _She wants to make sure you're ok. They sent her to break the news to you. They think Bella's really gone._

"Why?" I asked carefully, entwining my fingers with Bella's cold and lifeless ones.

"Alice please."

"Fine." Rosalie entered the room quietly, as if she was afraid to wake a sleeping dragon. "Why are you here?"

"Alice…." She started, but I immediately stopped her before she said anything she would regret.

"No Rosalie. Just no. Bella is going to wake up and that's final. End of discussion."

"But what if-?"

"THERE IS NO WHAT IF HERE! SHE WILL WAKE UP!" Rosalie actually flinched at my outburst, but I had no sympathy. However, the effort it took me to scream had left me tired and missing my usually constant warmth by my side. I sat back down and squeezed Bella's hand hoping that she would give some sign of life soon.

"I know Alice, I know." Rosalie sat opposite of me and gazed down at my mate as well, her eyes filling with tears. "But it's been almost nine hours."

"I don't care." I spat out through gritted teeth.

"She's always woken up within two, maybe three."

"Why are you doing this to me?!"

"I'm not trying to torture you Alice. But I also can't lose you too."

"STOP TALKING ABOUT HER LIKE SHE'S GONE!"

"Alice I –"

"Just get out Rosalie! I don't need this right now!"

To my surprise, she actually followed my request and left without another word. There's a first for everything I guess.

 _Nine hours._ Nine hours is a long time to wait. Sure it's a lot longer than normal, but Bella had gone through an ordeal.

 _Ten hours._ Really she needed her rest. And ten hours was not even half a day's time.

Time continued to tick and I was growing more restless by the minute.

 _Fifteen hours_. I could hear the nervous whispers coming from downstairs. They had started softly, but had grown louder the more time had passed. I grew irritated by their sympathetic and worrying tones. They would be sending another to come bring me to my senses soon.

"Bella please wake up." I cried and tugged at her shirt, begging any and all deities to bring this woman back to me. She did not deserve such a fate.

 _You killed her._

My mind kept slipping back into the dark place and I was struggling harder than ever to keep it afloat. The venom was killing her. The venom would kill her. Aro was killing her.

 _"It doesn't matter Alice. I'm still the one that pulled the trigger, so to speak."_

"Stop it!" I screamed and clutched my head, betrayed by my memory of Bella's words. I had pulled the trigger on her. Focus on something else. Anything else.

I occupied my mind and ran my nose all along Bella's still body, trying to sense if there was any hint of Aro's venom leftover in her.

"Nothing huh?" My delusion of Bella returned to the room, just as casual as before.

"I'm going to go insane aren't I?" I asked to the lifeless room. The imposter smiled crookedly, breaking my heart with its perfect charm.

"Well you did marry me. The apple does not fall far from- well, the apple it's attached to." I released a dry laugh and tried to focus on the present. "How long are you going to sit here Alice?"

"As long as it takes. Until you wake up."

"Ok. And how long until you finally realize that I'm not going to wake up?"

"Would everyone just stop saying that to me?! You _will_ wake up! And I will be right here when it happens!"

"How many times do I have to keep reminding you that I am you? I'm just spitting out what you're thinking. The comforting package," the shadow gestured to her appearance of likeness to my mate, "that was your choice. Would you rather I change into someone else?" Before I had a chance to respond, the shadow changed and soon I was face to face with the person I hated most in this world.

"You!" I shouted and lunged for the impression of Aro.

"But not me, remember? Still you." He heckled and dodged my attack. "Would you rather be mad at this face? Even though it's not really the one that killed her? Or would you rather be angry at the real person who caused this?" Once again, the image in front of my eyes changed before I could comprehend. Except this time I was left standing in front of a shell of a woman, one that used to look like me.

She was small, cowering in fear, with lips and hands trembling. Her outfit and hair were in complete disarray and her eyes screamed the definition of misery. I reached out to touch her, me I guess, but was jolted from my terrifying thoughts by another knock on the door.

"Alice? Can I come in please?" My father's gentle voice was calling me, but I had no patience for such things.

"GO AWAY CARLISLE! SHE IS GOING TO WAKE UP! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANY OF YOU SAY OR THINK!" He silently walked downstairs without another word.

 _But you think it too….._

"Please stop." I sobbed and put my face in my hands. This can't be the rest of my life.

"How long until you give up Alice?" The fake Bella reappeared and I threw the thing nearest to me, a lamp, at her head. It just passed right through her, shattering against the wall, and she looked utterly unfazed. "That's not an answer." I crawled over to a nearby bookshelf and began to chuck everything at her.

"GO AWAY!"

"Just tell me when you're going to put us out of our misery Alice?"

"Stop it! Please go away! Go away." My vision blurred at I continued to throw the contents of my room at a blank wall.

 _Just end us already. End this._

"Stop. Please stop. Please go away. God make it stop!" I collapsed and fell to the floor, nothing was left to throw.

"Alice stop."

"NO! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Strong arms pulled me up and I struggled against them.

"Alice just stop and look at me!" The shadow cradled my face in her hands and I shoved it away trying to free myself of its death grip, punching everything I could.

"No! Stop being her! Get out of my head!" My blind struggle was surprisingly difficult and I had a hard time fighting. So this was how I was going to die? Victim of my own mind?

"What? I'm not in your head! Alice for fucks sake open your god damn eyes and look at me!" I paused my movements and the breath caught in my throat. If books could go through the imposter, than how could I suddenly feel this impossibly warm body holding mine?

"B-Bella?"

"Alice I'm here. Stop fighting me."

 _It's not her. It's just an illusion._

But I perked my ears up and listened for the thing I would do anything for. The sound that I vowed to be with forever.

 _Thump thump. Thump thump._

"BELLA!" I cried and finally turned into the gentle and welcoming arms, burying my face into her chest and nuzzling against the sound I thought I had lost.

"Shhhh. I'm right here Al. I told you I'm not going anywhere remember? Till death do us part." She cooed softly in my ear while running calming hands along my back. Finally when I felt grounded enough to take a step back from her, I pulled away to observe the features I had missed so much.

Bella was honestly the most beautiful creature on this Earth. I would simply describe her as Godly. She smiled lightly down at me, still concerned about what she had just witnessed, but I returned it happily. A small frown came to my face when I noticed the scar had stuck, and I traced it again with my thumb, just glad there was warmth under that skin again.

"Did it leave a mark?" She questioned my reaction and cupped my hand to feel what I was touching.

"A reminder that I almost lost you." I nodded and moved our entwined hands back down together.

"I'm sorry. It's probably not great to look at." She bowed her head in shame, self-conscious of the imperfection.

"Don't." I grabbed her face and held it up proudly. "You could have died. If anything, that scar should be a badge of honor for what you've faced."

"I already have one of those." Bella rubbed her tattooed forearm subconsciously.

"Sometimes I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Then you'd know how perfect you are." She smiled sheepishly and leaned down to give me a small kiss, so gentle is was like a feather. "I still can't believe you're alive."

"I'm still here." I placed my hand over her heart and closed my eyes at the sound and feel of it beating underneath my palm. "You did scare the living shit out of me though. What was that?"

"Oh, that. Dear god please don't ever leave me again Bells. I go insane very easily without you."

"Well I won't. I promise." Once again she pulled me flush against her chest for a crushing hug. Bella was my mind's life boat, keeping it safe in this cruel world.

"Good."

"Now, please tell me that Aro is dead." I bit my lip, ashamed of my failure.

"Um…."

"Fuck."

"He slipped away last minute. It was chaotic at the time. Liam and Jasper chased after him, but eventually he got away. On the other hand, Jane and Felix are both gone, as well as most of the guard."

"How's your family?" Bella craned her neck to get a good look of her surroundings. "I don't remember much, but some pieces are coming back to me."

"Everyone's fine. I haven't talked much with them to be completely honest. I was a little preoccupied."

"Right." She rubbed her neck and then sat down back onto the bed. "Sorry I'm just trying to recall what exactly happened. Everything is so fuzzy." I nodded and sat down next to her. I was unsure if she remember exactly how she died, and at whose hands. Would she be mad at me for what I did?

"Take your time. We probably have a good ten minutes before someone comes to check on me again. Then all hell breaks loose. You may have quite a few bones crushed in some hugs." Bella chuckled and got up to walk towards the door.

"Better get that over with then huh?"

"I guess." I grumbled a little put out. I wasn't sure if I was ready to share her again at the moment.

"Hey, I do remember one thing." She stopped us just short of the door.

"What?"

"You saved me."

"You mean I killed you."

"No. I mean you saved my life."

"It didn't really feel like it at the time." Those seconds would probably haunt me for the rest of my life. "Don't ever make me do that again."

"Yes ma'am." Bella gave me a mock salute and opened the door. "I'm awa-" Was all she managed to get out before a blur of color with Esme's scent knocked her back into the wall with a furious amount of motherly love. "Ow."


	37. Sinners and Saints

_There are places I remember_

 _All my life, though some have changed_

 _Some forever, not for better_

 _Some have gone and some remain_

 _All these places have their moments_

 _With lovers and friends I still can recall_

 _Some are dead and some are living_

 _In my life, I've loved them all_

 _But of all these friends and lovers_

 _There is no one compares with you_

* * *

 **Chapter 37:** **Sinners and Saints**

 **Alice POV**

It took only a few more seconds for the rest of the family to join the joyous occasion. I leaned back against the wall and let them all get their love in. Bella was extremely patient and good natured with it all, especially considering how much she avoids contact with people. Well, most people.

Once everyone felt fully satisfied with their Bella time, and Carlisle made a hundred percent sure that she was in good health, things sort of began to calm down. We were able to meander the reunion downstairs where there was more space.

It was strange to be back. In retrospect, we really hadn't been gone that long. But so much had changed since then.

Esme began to busy herself with the long task of dusting everything while the rest of us chatted lightly. Emmett kept retelling his story of the fight and had way too much fun acting out his actions. Carlisle and Edward were starting to clean up the mess Aro made in his study, and Liam and Jasper sat in the corner looking quite defeated. While Emmett was animatedly telling us exactly how he killed Felix, Rosalie came over and smacked Bella's head harshly.

"Ow! What was that for?!" She cried out in pain and shock.

"That was for leaving. And _this_ ," Rosalie smacked her again much like she did when Emmett misbehaved, "was for almost getting yourself killed you idiot."

"I think you need to hit her again." I said, jumping aboard this train as well. "She was almost killed when I found her too!" Esme gasped and ran over to wack Bella with the duster.

"TWICE? YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED TWICE?" Bella had to jump up and try to dodge Esme's attacks while I laughed at the scene before me.

"Ow ow! Ok! I'm stupid alright! Will you all please stop hitting me? I just came back from the dead, damn." Esme stopped chasing after her but muttered irritably under her breath. My wife returned back to my side and sat down on the stool next to me, rubbing her sore head.

"And don't think we're not mad at you missy!" Esme yelled with a pointed finger at me. I gulped and tried to hide behind Bella.

"Alright everyone. Let's all just enjoy this moment we have back together." Carlisle returned from upstairs and washed his hands up in the sink. "Esme dear, I do believe these two need a bit of rest."

"How does it look up there?" Bella asked, happy for a subject change. "Do you need a hand with the clean up?"

"No it's doable. Edward and I should have it back in good shape again by tomorrow. But that room is off-limits to you. There's a lot of broken glass and venom up there. One nick and we're back where we were. And I'm quite sure you don't want to relive that again?"

"No!" I blurted before Bella could answer. Carlisle smiled sweetly before grabbing a few more cleaning supplies and heading up the stairs again.

"Well it looks like we might be staying here for a bit so I'm going to have to make a trip to the store." Esme said matter of factly and started to make a shopping list which included human food. Bella gave me a sideways glance and we both seemed to silently agree that now was not the best time to notify everyone that Bella was currently on a blood diet. The ordeal from yesterday had left her eyes almost pitch black.

"I'll go with you." Jasper jumped up, in need of a good distraction.

"I really hope no one recognizes us." Esme realized once she finished her list and grabbed her car keys. "That may be an issue."

"I'm pretty sure Aro knows where we are Esme. No need for low profiles at the moment." Bella chuckled at the absurdity of this situation. Nevertheless, Esme seemed to weigh her options for a moment and then left with Jasper after a quick goodbye.

"Is Jasper alright?" I asked once they were out of the house. Liam sighed and spoke to us for the first time that day.

"We had Aro within reach and he got away. Jasper had him in his fingertips, but his emotions got the better of him and he lost his tactical thought. He was too worried about you two to properly think. So naturally he's furious at himself for letting him get away."

"Liam – " Bella started what was most likely going to be a very long, and let's be honest, well deserved apology, but he stopped her.

"We can talk later Bells. You look like you need a good shower and some rest." He pointed to her ragged appearance and walked towards the backyard. "I'm going to go for a run anyways and see how the pack is doing."

"You two do look rather unkempt." Rosalie commented on the both of us. "Alice I'm disappointed. I expect this sort of thing from Bella, but you, I'm afraid I just can't call you my sister anymore." I rolled my eyes and grabbed Bella's hand so we could go clean up.

"You know we were living the nomadic life for months. Excuse us for not being runway ready."

"And what do you mean by you expect this from me?" Bella frowned at Rosalie and gave me a questioning look. "Am I really that bad?"

"No baby. Rosalie is just being a bitch because she missed you."

"Hey!" My sister yelled as we retreated to our room.

"Don't even think about running away again!" Emmett called up to us. "I'll be patrolling the yard!"

"We won't!" I shouted down before closing the door to privacy again. "We won't right?" Bella smiled wearily and shook her head.

"We won't." She sat down and removed her shoes while I got the shower supplies ready. "I'm too tired to think of another escape plan." Bella chuckled and soon joined me in the shower.

The dirt and grime took some time to scrub away, so we conversed lightly during our work.

"Esme's going to try and stuff you full of human food again you know." I poked at her abdomen for good measure and Bella feigned an injury to my prod.

"Yeah I know. I'll break the news later." Eventually we finished showering and I went exploring in my closet for a suitable outfit. Bella went over to the dresser with her clothes still neatly stored in it, and threw on some pants before looking for a good shirt. Once I was fully dressed, I went over to watch as Bella struggled with making a decision.

"What's the matter love? Need a keen fashion eye?"

"Well, Rosalie implied that I have terrible fashion sense and I'm just trying to find something that would prove her wrong. But honestly I have no idea what I'm looking for here." She scratched the top of her head helplessly and I giggled at her effort.

"Oh please, Rose just had her panties in a bunch. Besides, you should really only care about what I think of your appearance."

"And? Is it bad?"

"No silly. It's most sexy. Maybe you should just go without the shirt." I purred and Bella chortled, returning to the dresser to grab a simple t shirt. As she held the shirt in her hands, feeling the soft cotton underneath her fingertips, I couldn't help but zoom over to her bare back and press my nose onto her spine, inhaling deeply. God her scent was heavenly. Bella sighed contently when I kissed each of her shoulder blades, while my hands roamed up her arms, feeling every lean muscle fiber underneath her overheated skin.

"Alice…." The wolf warned lowly to me.

"I don't care." I growled and continued on. Bella did not make any motion to stop me, in fact she actually relaxed more into my body so my front was pressed flush with her back. After several long minutes of this, I finally turned her around to face me. She leaned down for a kiss, but I pushed her back onto the bed, eliciting a surprised yelp from her. I smiled devilishly and slowly crawled up the bed, straddling her waist.

"Um, these rooms are still soundproof right?" She asked nervously underneath me.

"To a point."

"Right. Ok." Bella nodded and bit her lip, looking up at me in anticipation. I was actually surprised at how good she was being right now. I mean, I was on top of her, in complete control, and she hadn't tried to rip any of my clothes off.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Just, y-you look really fucking hot right now." I giggled uncontrollably at her eloquent compliment and bent down to hover over her lips.

"Thank you." Her tongue darted out on its own accord to lick her lips. But once again I avoided those soft lips of hers, and instead nibbled on her exposed neck. Another few minutes of this passed and the scent of Bella's arousal was completely overpowering mine. It had been a long time since I had been able to do that.

"Alice." Bella whined and squirmed. I sat up to properly look at her and almost burst out laughing. She was the perfect image of sexual frustration. "I'm glad you're having fucking fun here." She ground out through clenched teeth. I ran my hands down her sides again and felt every tensed up muscle.

My unyielding wife tried to sit up and capture my lips once more, but I harshly shoved her back down and pinned her arms to her sides.

"Don't try that again." I growled darkly in her ear. The alpha underneath me let out a sexually frustrated moan, but did as she was told. I sucked hard on her pulse joint and even scraped my teeth against her neck. The predator in me was out in full force today and I had the sudden urge to sink my canines into her and claim her as my own.

In all honesty this was not an abnormal thought. It was very primal. All mated vampires would bite and claim their partners in this very barbaric way. But our situation was different. So I refrained and drew back from her neck for a cooling breath.

"Bite me." The form underneath me whispered. I was sure I didn't hear it right.

"What?"

"I know you wanted to. I know you've _been_ wanting to."

"But the venom – "

"I have a tolerance remember? Besides, you could never hurt me."

"Bella."

"Alice." She smirked at me with nothing but trust and love in her eyes. God I wanted to. Especially since the absence of her wedding band. I wanted the world to know she was mine, but I also hated that thought process.

I gently brushed my knuckled across her jugular, feeling exactly where I would bite down.

"Do it." She whispered gruffly as I leaned down into the crook of her neck.

Her scent was at that mouthwatering stage where it was half mixed with lust and her natural aroma. I ran the tip of my tongue along her pulsating vein, scraping my teeth against it again. Bella's heart pounded harder at my actions and I couldn't stand the throbbing between my legs at this point.

"I trust you." Her last whisper finally pulled me over the edge and at last I slowly sunk my teeth into my wife's neck.

I'm pretty sure an eighth sin needed to be added to the list, because if the taste of Bella's blood was not one, it really really should be. Her blood was rich, potent, and so sinfully delicious. Her scent was enough to get me turned on in an instant, but her taste, fuck her blood was enough to make me orgasm on the spot.

Bella moaned delightfully underneath me and I could feel the vibrations of it in her throat. Her drug was powerful, and yet I never felt out of control. If anything, I felt more in control.

My blind struggle for friction was not lost on Bella, and she graciously used a free hand resting on my hip bone to pull me down further into her. Her action was an affirmation that I was allowed to get lost in her. Her other hand had moved up to tangle itself in my hair, however I knew it was also there as a safety precaution in case I couldn't stop myself.

I actually wasn't worried, despite the vulnerability of the situation. Her blood was like a rich food. It was amazing and you wanted it, but you had to limit yourself. I pulled away after only a few seconds, and hovered back over her face to make sure she was alright.

"Why'd you stop?" Bella whined pathetically, probably concerned that I didn't like it.

"I wanted to see if you were ok." I smiled down at her and checked over my work. Considering how agitated I had been before I bit her, I was surprised at how clean I made it. A little bit of blood had run down her neck and onto the sheets, but it was pretty minimal. And the bite itself already looked like it was slowly healing.

"More than ok." She mumbled distractedly, I could feel her fingers fumbling for the hem of my shirt. I smirked at the effect I could still have on her. She had gotten my shirt almost halfway up my torso before the door of my room deafeningly crashed open.

"Is Bella OK?! I was in my room and I could smell blo-" A completely horrorstruck Rosalie stood in front of us, mouth wide open and unable to finish her sentence with the scene in front of her.

It was easily my most embarrassing moment by far. My half naked wife was underneath me, hands crawling up my back, with the very room reeking of blood and sex.

"Rose get out!" I screeched, making sure my body was covering up Bella's naked upper half. Rosalie went from confused, to embarrassed, to livid in a matter of seconds.

"Did-did you BITE her?!"

"Um, h-hey Rose." Bella craned her neck backwards to speak to my raging sister. "It's all good here." Her face was easily beet red at this point, and if it wasn't so awkward at this exact moment I would be laughing my ass off.

Rose eventually seemed to pull herself together and finally made a very dramatic repulsed sound that I worried would alert the whole house. She flew out of our room just as fast as she had barged in, and we distinctly heard her screaming from downstairs.

 _"EMMETT WE ARE MOVING OUT RIGHT NOW!"_

"Ah fuck." Bella sighed and swiftly removed herself from our position. I whined out at her abandonment.

"Why?"

"There are very few things that could turn me off when I'm with you. But your sister walking in on us is definitely one of them." She grabbed her forgotten shirt before wandering into the bathroom to clean up my bite.

"I could kill her?" I suggested as I hopped off the bed to help make sure she got the blood off the back of her neck.

"I'm afraid it's already too late for that." Bella quipped and gave me a quick peck. "Besides," she grunted while pulling the shirt over her head, "she's already told Emmett by now, which means everyone knows."

"Any escape plans?"

"None that I can think of."

"Damn." My wolf chuckled and then walked into the closet, methodically opening drawers in search for something. "What are you doing?"

"Well I figured I should probably go talk with Liam now that things have calmed down." I scoffed and Bella laughed again, still opening everything in sight. "Pardon, calmed down to a certain extent."

"So what are you looking for?" I bent down to see what she was rummaging around for in the bottom drawer of our dresser.

"I stashed a bottle of bourbon here a while back. Liam might be a little more willing to forgive if he has some liquid encouragement. I just can't remember exactly where I left – oh!" Bella exclaimed happily, finally withdrawing a quite dusty bottle of brown liquor from underneath the chest of drawers. "There you are."

"You stashed booze here? Why?" I cried out, in a well justified feeling of betrayal.

"Not like that." She frowned at my sudden outcry. "I swear!" Bella laughed at my hurt bunny look. "No it was while we were dating and I couldn't relax enough to- to have sex with you. I thought it would help. Obviously it didn't."

"You didn't tell me that." I whispered at the ground, suddenly heartbroken. "I know we tried that technique together later down the road, but you never told me that you had tried it before."

"Unsuccessfully." Bella corrected.

"B-but I was with you and you were drunk?! Am I this terrible of a mate?!"

"Woah woah no!" Bella grabbed my hands as I furiously tore at my hair. "I took a couple of sips literally once before a try, but you said my mouth tasted weird so I never did it again without you knowing. Look." She pointed to the bottle that was still pretty much full. "I promise."

"You know I think I remember that time." I finally looked up, trusting my wife's truth. "You did taste weird."

"See?" A relieved laugh reached my ears and Bella sat down on the bed to put her shoes back on.

"So why did you keep it here? And hide it?"

"I don't know." Bella shrugged and looked up after lacing up. "I guess I was worried that you'd catch me sneaking it out and question me."

"So I still am a terrible mate." I concluded during her retelling of worry of my retaliation.

"Not one bit." Warm hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me into a comforting hug. "You put up with my stupid ass every day. If that doesn't grant you sainthood, I don't know what will." I laughed quietly and laid my head against her chest, delighted when it rumbled happily at my action.

"I wouldn't say stupid. But I can't disagree with the ass part."

"Thanks." She planted a loving kiss on top of my head, and for a second we just stayed there, content in our close embrace.

" _ALICE AND ISABELLA SWAN! GET DOWN HERE NOW!_ " The livid voice of Esme floated up to our room and we both groaned and parted ways.

"Why is she mad?" Bella asked me, confused about my mother's vocal reaction.

"Because I bit her precious baby." I replied easily, knowing exactly why I was about to be chewed out.

"Hey! I-I'm not- I'm not a baby!" She stammered defensively and I giggled at her response.

"You're her baby. Besides, we should probably give her a little bit of a break. She did think you were dead just a few hours ago."

"Oh. Yeah." Bella nodded dumbly and scratched the back of her head, most likely still embarrassed about the situation.

" _NOW ALICE_."

"Shit." I moaned again and began to prepare myself for what laid downstairs for me.

"Yeah, well, you have fun with that." Bella simply stated and moved towards the balcony.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to Liam."

"You can't leave me with her!"

"She's your mother."

"Well she's yours too!"

"Not by blood." Bella grinned, still making her way out of my room.

"Oh you can't use that argument Bella Swan! You know what you married into. Get back here." My loving wife smiled and returned to my arms, cradling my face in her hands. I sighed as her thumb gently ran down my jawline and leaned into her awaiting lips.

"You're right. I don't believe you were quite honest with me about what I was getting myself into though. I'm going to have to ask you for a divorce love." And with that, she pulled away, winked briefly at me, and jumped off my balcony.

"Oh I'm just going to kill that woman."

" _DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE!_ "

"Alright I'm coming! Damn." I finally called back to Esme. I looked back once more to my open balcony door and the spot where Bella had been just seconds ago, before heading down to my doom. "Yeah. It was worth it."


	38. Selfish

_Oh please rest assured this was not my fault_

 _And time is getting short_

 _So I'll be here if you want me_

 _(Beaten and covered in a red so bloody)_

 _Oh my darling can you hear?_

 _My words so pure they burn your lying ears_

 _And so the story goes_

 _When I leave will you let me go?_

* * *

 **Chapter 38** **: Selfish**

 **Bella POV**

There are a lot of underappreciated things on Earth, probably too many to even count. But if you asked me what I think the most underrated gift we have is, I would say the simplicity of nature. I think human nature as a whole just can't appreciate the great outdoors as well as they used to. And it's not entirely their fault. Human kind has evolved over the years, and society is just not as reliant on the outside as much as it used to be. Don't get me wrong, technology and all the things that can be done with it is absolutely magnificent. But there's something about walking in the woods, strolling through an area that is mostly untouched by man, that it truly stunning.

As a supernatural I have been able to enjoy it more. It's relaxing and soothing, teeming with life. I just wish I had been able to appreciate it more as a human. Forks really is beautiful.

I had laughed about leaving Alice alone with Esme. However, I feared that what I was about to face would be much more dreadful.

Liam's scent had led me deep into the forest, underneath a canopy of trees and wildlife. The further I walked, the heavier my stomach felt and the weight of my actions began to sting at my chest. I don't regret them, I never would. But there was a better way to go about what I had done. There were probably about a hundred better ways.

Finally I caught up with him, perched on a branch far above the ground in a rather tall pine tree. I knew he could smell me, but he made no indication of moving from his spot. So I saddled up and began to climb up to where he was.

When at last I had reached his branch, he once again did not move or make room for me to get around him. The fear rose further in my chest. But eventually he sighed and shuffled slightly so I could sit on the branch with him.

It was awkward. Really awkward. I couldn't decide if I should speak first, or if it would seem too controlling to start something if he didn't want to. I chewed on my lip in agitation, something I hadn't done in years. Something I hadn't done since I had met Liam.

Alice was everything to me, don't mistake my words. The thought of losing her literally made my lungs ache. My heart would surely implode on itself without her. And I would, and have died for her.

But Liam had saved me. Saved me long before Alice. And he was my brother. Not an Emmett or a Jasper, but a real blood brother.

So yeah. My abandonment sucked hard, to say the least.

"I uh, I brought you some bourbon." I finally mumbled, not being able to handle to silence any more.

"Yeah I noticed." He responded in a soft aloofness. My insides cringed at his anger that I knew was bubbling close to the surface.

Liam was a good guy. He always was a good guy. People could say his reserved stature was from Marcus, but really he was always just a nice quiet kid from Virginia.

"Right." I set the bottle down behind me on another nearby branch and rubbed the back of neck. "Right um – "

"I just need to know why Bella." He whispered, not daring to look up at me.

"Why I brought the – ?" I began rather stupidly.

"Why you left." He interrupted before I could finish my idiotic question. I swallowed loudly and let out a hushed swear.

"I guess that is the only real question."

"Yeah no shit." He snapped, releasing the start of something harsh. But I couldn't help the slight smirk from his very familiar behavior. "What you think this is funny?" The branch shook with his coming rage and I went to deescalate quickly.

"No! God no. You just sort of reminded me of me there." The moment the words left my mouth, I knew they were wrong. His eyes darkened and he scoffed harshly.

"Don't insult me. All you do is bring pain to everyone who loves you. Don't put that burden on me."

"You're right. I'm sorry." My admittance to his accusation seemed to catch him off guard.

"So you agree?"

"Well, yeah." I blushed as he scrutinized me closely before scoffing again.

"Great. So you know you're a dick."

"It's not – I don't – I really don't mean to be a dick." I mumbled truthfully. "Really I don't. Sometimes I feel like I'm this huge chaotic storm that has no control over where I land. Or who I hurt."

"You're trying to blame your actions on a lack of control?"

"No. I don't mean to blame anything other than me." He nodded and looked out to the open forest, drawing in calming breaths.

"So why did you do it?"

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"Well that's a load of bullshit. Look where that got you."

"That was not my intention." I frowned, upset at myself for the harm I had caused my best friend. I wondered if this was how Alice felt after she left a human me. "Honestly."

"Just fucking tell me why Bella." Liam said through gritted teeth, anger beginning to spill out once more. "And no more lies and excuses."

"You had Zoey." I stated simply. "It would be different if you were single, but I could never ask you to leave your imprint like that."

"Like you did."

"That was chance I was willing to take with my relationship with Alice." I said, thinking back to my troubled decision making at the time of my leaving. "I knew we would fall apart with my sanity the way it was, so I took that risk of leaving her. But I could never ask you to do that."

"I would have, you know."

"I know." I sighed and began to swing my legs underneath the branch. "But that wouldn't have been right."

"Fuck what's right Bella! We're talking about the Volturi here! You're acting like I wasn't even there!" The seed of anger that I had planted in him had grown into a big ass tree, and the tree was busting out of its pot after several long months. "You're my best friend! And you couldn't even have the decency to leave me a letter."

"What was I supposed to say Liam? You know why I needed to go."

"No. No I don't. Not the way you did."

"Why is this so hard for you?" I was in the wrong. I knew I was in the wrong. But I felt like I was beating a dead horse with this one. Liam released a frustrated growl and jumped from the tree, landing gracefully on the ground beneath. I followed swiftly behind him. "What? What is wrong with you?"

"Because you were fucking selfish Bella!" Liam screamed before punching a tree, effectively causing it to split and fall over. The loud crash sent birds scattering and a new silence fell over the forest soon after. "I couldn't figure out why I was so mad at you for so long. But finally I realized, it was because of how selfish you were. You've never been selfish, not like that. And it was uncharacteristic of you. But it hurt. It hurt a lot." His words cut me deep like knives, and I unconsciously stepped backwards away from the pain he was inflicting on me.

"I didn't mean – "

"No but you did. So please stop telling me what your intentions were, because they're crap."

"You're right." I stood emotionlessly for a moment, finally admitting to myself that he really was right. "I was selfish. But how is that fair?"

"What?" He was understandably confused by my question.

"You said it yourself, it was uncharacteristic of me. And yet it was still selfish of me to do something just for me, one time?"

"Because what you did was selfish! You left all of us! All of us, for yourself!" He had every right to be pissed, but it also was not fair to put all of it on me.

"I'm sorry but I'm not going to apologize for all that I did! I know that's counterintuitive, but fuck logic right now. If I could go back in time, I would do the exact same thing."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! So you have no remorse for what you did to this family?!"

"Of course I having fucking remorse about how I left, but I don't regret leaving. I never did and I never will." He looked about ready to attack me, so I readied myself if he decided to do so. Instead, Liam released another frustrated growl and kicked the fallen tree.

"WHY?!"

"BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS DOING EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE ELSE!" As fast as it had risen, Liam's temper immediately dissipated after my outburst at him. "I'm the one getting shot! I'm the one throwing myself in front of the ones I love! I'm the one that gets my bones crushed! I'm the one who gets bitten! I'm the one that gets a piece of fucking rebar pushed through their torso!"

"I didn't – "

"No I know you didn't ask me. Nobody asks me. But the point is that I keep doing it to keep you all safe. I have to give my control away to just fucking keep this shit together and it's fucking exhausting. It's exhausting and I couldn't take it anymore. So yes, I was selfish. Yes, I finally decided to take control of my life and do what I thought was right. What I know is right."

"I- I'm sorry. I didn't know- I didn't realize." Liam's leftover rage had gone and I was left standing in front of my quiet polite brother again.

"I didn't say all of that to make you feel bad Liam. But you asked me why. I thought you deserved an answer."

"Thank you." He whispered and outstretched his hand to me, a peace offering. I reached out and shook it gently. "For everything." I nodded, and we seemed to have some sort of silent understanding that all was forgiven and in the past now. After a couple more moments of awkward silence, I shrugged my head towards the way I had come from.

"Come on. Let's go home."


	39. The Final Plan

_Do you remember what you said to me?_

 _'Cause we lost track of time_

 _Yeah, we lost track of time_

 _You said that maybe this is where it ends_

 _Take a bow for the bad decisions that we made_

 _Bad decisions that we made_

 _And if we're going down in flames_

 _Take a bow for the bad decisions that we made_

 _Bad decisions that we made_

 _So we'll make the same mistakes_

 _'Till the morning breaks_

* * *

 **Chapter 39** **: The Final Plan**

 **Alice POV**

Esme was not my mother. I cannot even remember my real mother. And if I really thought about that, it made me quite sad. But I guess it saved me from the truth. In my imagination, my real mother was this wonderful and amazing person that loved me more than anything. But in reality, there was a possibility that she was not such a woman. Ignorance was bliss in my mind.

No, Esme was not my mother. But she sure as hell was my mom.

"Alice Swan!" The fiercely loving woman was in front of me the second my foot had reached the first floor. I gulped at her use of last name. When your mom says your last name, you know you're in for a good ass whooping. "Did you _bite_ Bella?!"

"Well, it's complicated."

"YES OR NO IS NOT A COMPLICATED ANSWER YOUNG LADY!"

"Yes!" I cowered in fear like a small child that had just broken the expensive family vase.

"Why would you – after all – why would you do such a thing?" Esme was furious for a good reason. She had just thought she had lost her youngest daughter for good, and then I went and bit her. It didn't matter that I meant no harm from it.

"It didn't hurt her!"

"DID YOUR TEETH PIERCE HER SKIN?"

"Well, yes. But –"

"There are no buts here Alice!"

"But she said it was OK!"

"Yes, and we both know that a lot of things she says are 'OK' are most definitely NOT OK!"

"Wh-what is _that_ supposed to mean?!" I stuttered and took a step back from her harsh accusation.

"Oh come on Alice! You know that woman better than any of us!"

"But what does-?"

"You and I both know that she lets certain things go that any normal person would not." Esme ended by disappointedly looking away from me, turning my insides into a big pile of self-loathing mush.

"That's Bella. She's always been ridiculously selfless. It's her weakness. But what am I supposed to do about it? I can't just change her Esme."

"No of course not! But you're not particularly helping her." She was obviously pissed at me for something other than biting her.

"I don't know what you want me to do here! And why is this suddenly about my wife's hero complex? I've accepted that part of her already!"

"Well maybe you shouldn't! Because it's going to get her _actually_ killed one day!" Before I had the chance to rebuttal, my mother stormed off in a fit of rage.

"Esme! Esme come back!" I went to follow her, but two familiar heartbeats were approaching the back porch. Now was not the time.

"Hey there short stuff." Liam strutted in with a goofy grin on his face. It told me all was well between the two again.

"Good to see you too Pup." I quipped as he bear hugged me.

"Is that your new nickname for me?"

"Yeah?"

"Not the greatest. I'd keep thinking if I were you."

"Shut up you jerk." I giggled and pushed him away, catching Bella's eye as she leaned against the door frame. "I missed you Liam. It's good to see you."

"And to you my dear." He tipped an imaginary hat my way and then turned around to wink at Bella. "I shall leave you two alone. Although I heard this rumor from Emmett on my way in about what you two do on your own time."

"EMMETT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" I screamed to the house, knowing wherever my deviant brother was, he could hear it. Sure enough, I heard gruff chuckling from somewhere upstairs. Liam joined in and wandered around me to the spare guest room.

"How long do you think he'll be using that ammunition?" Bella asked, her mood unreadable.

"Oh god. At least a century." I buried my face in my hands in shame. Bella laughed quietly and wrapped me into her arms.

"I think we'll live." I grunted unhappily and nuzzled myself further into her chest. "How was your chat with Esme?" I grunted again, not wanting to relive that argument so soon after. Bella rubbed soothing circles along my back. "That bad huh?"

"Worse." I popped my head up to look at her. "I'm sorry for biting you." She smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"Don't be." She withdrew from our embrace but I caught her hand, pulling her back. "What?"

"What I did wasn't ok Bella."

"I gave you my permission."

"But I still shouldn't have done it."

"Hey, stop that." She whispered and used her free hand to run a light finger down my jawline. I groaned and moved away. The damn woman was like catnip to me.

"So I take it your talk with Liam went well?" I walked to the kitchen, keeping my back turned to her.

"Yeah yeah. It got a little heated in the beginning. But all is forgiven now." I nodded absentmindedly and fiddled with the faucet. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I automatically lied. "So all is forgiven huh?"

"Uh huh." She could tell I was off and walked over towards me, observing.

"That's good."

"It is." I heard her jump up on the counter and sit, watching me. "I actually learned a lot."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmmm." She hummed, still studying my mood. "I understand why you left me now." I winced violently at the topic. "And I'm sorry I was so hard on you before."

"You had plenty of reason to." I swallowed the venom in my throat roughly, holding back a sob.

"Yes, but so did you." Bella hopped off the counter and caught my waist in one fluid movement, turning me around to face her. "I'm sorry for being so harsh on you." I glanced down to her hand on my hip and looked at those inky black numbers along her forearm, permanently scarring my mate.

"Stop." I blinked and pushed her away from me again.

"Stop what?" She furrowed her eyebrows together, genuinely confused. "What is with you?"

"Just – just stop forgiving me Bella! Esme was right."

"Esme? Esme was right about what?" She went to comfort me, but I shoved her, a little too rough this time. Bella stumbled back into the kitchen island, definitely bruising some bones.

"Fuck I'm sorry."

"Alice just talk to me."

"Stop being so nice!"

"Huh?" I was definitely making things worse, I knew that. And poor Bella, she had no idea what had brought on this argument. "I am so fucking confused right now. What is wrong?!"

"I-I don't know ok? It's just - I'm sick and tired of you forgiving so readily when some things shouldn't be forgotten so easily!"

"Are you serious right now? You're really mad at me for letting things go?" She was still trying to stay calm and collected, but the absurdity of my reason was thinning her patience.

"Well, yeah." I squeaked, kind of lamely. "You're always trying to be this completely selfless person. And I think sometimes you forget about taking care of yourself first."

"Alice." She started softly, reaching for my hand. "Life with all that resentment to hold onto? That's no way to live."

"But – "

"No no. Just listen for a second love. While you make extremely valid points about my tendency to, how shall I put this nicely? Continuously almost kill myself every other month or so?" She smiled crookedly at me and I couldn't help but to smile back.

"You could say that."

"But you should know that I'm never going to put myself first, alright? You are my priority, at all times."

"Bella – "

"No disputes Al." She booped my nose with her finger to keep things light. "You can't look me in the eye right now and tell me that you wouldn't do the same to me."

"Well, no but – "

"Then no but's about it. Ok?"

"I just don't want you to die." I whispered truthfully, falling back into her awaiting arms.

"And I won't." Her eyes were fierce, but I couldn't help but run my hand along the new scar on her face.

"I've heard that before."

"I won't." Maybe it was her tone, or the way her strong body surrounded me, but I believed her.

My irritation had dissipated as soon as it had come on, and I finally fully relaxed back into her. Bella let out a distinct content sigh at my body language. I was home again.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you." My voice came out all muffled as I had kept my face buried in her overheated skin.

"Well, I forgive you. And I always will." Small vibrations rose from her low chuckle.

"And I'm sorry that I bit you." I finally peeked my head up again, biting my lip in embarrassment.

"It's alright. I liked it." She winked down at me and I released an uncontrollable giggle.

"ISABELLA SWAN!" Esme had unfortunately returned with impeccable timing.

"Oh shit!" My lovable clumsy wolf tried to escape our embrace and run for the hills, but got caught in my legs and promptly fell to the kitchen floor rather loudly. In her moment of terror from my mother, she decided it seemed reasonable to try and rapidly crawl away.

"Get back here young lady!" Esme had her classic motherly rage face back on when she stormed towards us. As I had already been yelled at, the hilarity of the situation was not lost on me. I went into a full fit of giggles at the scene.

"What the hell is going on down here?" The combination of my laughter, Esme's yelling, and Bella's clumsy moment had alerted Rosalie, who came downstairs to see what was causing the ruckus.

"Nothing!" Bella jumped up, her face a dark glowing red.

"There will be no biting in this house you two!" Esme pulled Bella by the collar of her shirt and gave her a total death glare while she growled at me. "I mean it."

"Y-yes ma'am." Bella gulped loudly. I honestly don't even think she was this afraid of Aro or Caius.

"Good." She looked pointedly at me and I nodded fervently.

"Are we done here?" Rosalie strode our way, arms crossed, with her ice queen expression back in place. "Cause I would kind of like to have a family meeting."

"Oh for god's sake Rose!" I cried out, beyond annoyed. "The whole family knows already! What else could you possibly blab about?!"

"Not about your _extracurricular_ activities." Rosalie hissed back in response. "I was thinking maybe we could talk about what you two have been up to for the past several weeks? And maybe come up with a game plan? We're kind of sitting ducks right now."

"Rosalie's right." Carlisle called, slowly strolling down the stairs with Edward on his heels. "But I think sitting ducks is the exact thing we want to be right now."

"Why's that?" I asked, confused by his sudden confidence in our situation. I looked to Bella, who was usually one step ahead when it came to scheming. But she was leaning against the counter, just as confused as I. She shrugged when I gave her a questioning look.

"Because Aro's regime is falling, and he knows it." Carlisle simply stated, gesturing for us to all move to the living room. One by one, everyone in the house gathered around, just like old times. "He's all alone. Well, mostly alone. Sure he has a few stragglers, but no guard. Nothing like what he had."

"He can recruit?" Liam suggested, finally joining the party.

"He can try. But no one's going to jump aboard his sinking ship now. The Volturi is over. The whole vampire world knows it now."

"Ok. I guess I'm still a little confused on how that helps us?" Emmett asked, looking around to see if anyone else was catching on.

"Yeah. If anything it'll just make it worse. He'll be self-destructive, nothing to lose." Even Jasper the great Major didn't see my father's point.

"Yes and no. He will be desperate. But he knows his time left on Earth is limited. So he's going to spend it getting rid of the only threat he thinks is better than him." Carlisle finished quietly and left us to figure out his puzzle.

"Great." Bella groaned, comprehending what he meant right away. "Just fucking great."

"I still don't understand." I said rather stupidly, everyone else was catching on but me.

"It means he knows he's going to die Al, he's willing. As long as he kills me before he goes." It was amazing how something so horrible could come out of her mouth, and it would still sound like an angel speaking.

"No." I jumped up right away. "No! That's not going to happen."

"Obviously we're not going to let anything happen to Bella." Carlisle got up and walked over to us, placing a fatherly hand on mine and Bella's shoulders. "But it does give us leverage."

"You say leverage, but I'm pretty sure the word you're looking for is bait." Rosalie hissed, suddenly standing in a defensive stance opposite Carlisle.

"Easy Rosie." Emmett went to hold her back, but she growled at his touch. "I'm sure that's not what Carlisle had in mind."

"Surely not." Esme joined Rosalie soon and my father had to backtrack.

"Easy, of course not. But it doesn't hurt that his only option is to come to us now."

"All we have to do is wait." My moronic wife unsurprisingly was on his side.

"You can't be serious Bella! This man is the only weapon that can kill you! And you're fine sitting here and waiting for him to come?!" She flinched at my screaming.

"I'm not a helpless animal here Alice. I can defend myself if need be. Why do you keep forgetting that?"

"Because you keep getting hurt!"

"Ok. Ok I will admit that is true. But we're not alone this time. We've got plenty of back up." She waved her hand, motioning for me to look around at this assembled family.

"And more." Carlisle reassured. "I've already called the Denali's. And I'm sure others will be willing to join us."

"It's not a bad plan." Jasper finally added some input to the problem, only angering me more. Edward nodded in agreement.

"Oh come on! This is ridiculous!" I stamped my foot at my brothers. "We _just_ went through this! I am not dealing with that again."

"You won't." Liam whispered. "Not this time."

"No. No I just can't handle this anymore! Why are our lives so difficult?! Why can't we be a normal, happy, and healthy family?!"

"Of vampires? No." Scoffed an amused Rosalie.

"This is fucked up." I fell back into the sofa, exhausted by life. I longed for the days when Victoria and James were our only problems, and Bella was a human. I missed our lives without all this Volturi drama.

"It is." Bella knelt down in front of me. "But we can end it." She reached out and squeezed my hand. "One more fight. That's all I ask of you. One more fight, and it'll all be over."

I looked up and around to my watching family. Together again at last, in the same house. The image in front of me was one of power, but this was the Volturi. A reign that had lasted hundreds and hundreds of years. And we were the ones that were to end it?

"You promise?" She smiled that wolfy smile that I couldn't resist.

"Promise."


	40. Instincts

**_*Insert apology for taking so long to post here*_**

 **In all seriousness, sorry ya'll. Got a new laptop though :)**

* * *

 _What did you think when you made me this way?_

 _What did you think when you love me this way?_

 _Hold me so close when we get to the gates_

 _And we'll be together forever and ever and more_

 _Hold me close_

 _My little Draculove_

 _Wrap your arms around me_

 _My Draculove_

 **Chapter 40: Instincts**

 **Bella POV**

"Bella! Just where do you think you're going young lady?" Esme caught me, once again trying to sneak out into the town for some fresh air.

"Esme come on! Just let me stretch me legs!" I cried out, annoyed at this whole fucking situation. I was essentially on house arrest until the threat of the Volturi was over with.

Esme glared at me, her arms crossed as she stood her ground. At which point I decided to put on my puppy dog face and pout at Alice.

"I can go with her if it'll make you feel better?" Alice offered, my look succeeding.

"Stop guilting her Bella! Or I swear we'll separate the two of you."

"Separate us?" I questioned about how they could possibly achieve that.

"The couch in the living room is a lovely place to sleep Bella. But not so much when it's against your will." Carlisle stated, walking over to shut the porch door I had previously opened.

"You wouldn't!" Alice gasped, as if just speaking about such things were a sin.

"Well we don't want to. But if you try to escape again, you'll leave us with no choice." Esme scolded us before walking away to busy herself with a new craft. She may be allowed to leave the house, but she spent most her time in it anyways, preoccupied with keeping an eye on me. I felt she may be just as bored as I was.

"Can I at least go outside? Emmett and Jasper are practicing fighting." I turned to Carlisle, desperate for some reprieve.

"Yes. But you know the boundaries. And another Cullen has to be with you at all times when outside. Not that one." Carlisle pointed at an ashamed looking Alice and reopened the door for me.

"Come on." I grumbled to Alice, leading her outside with me to an awaiting Emmett.

"Aw what's the matter big bad Bells? Do mom and dad not trust the two of you together?" The bear man grinned, prompting Alice to shove him to the ground.

"Shut up Emmett!" While Alice busied herself with beating up her giggling beast of a brother, I rolled up my sleeves and approached Jasper. He smiled genuinely at me and led us to the open clearing where the mock fights took place.

"I am truly sorry about the house arrest Bella. I'm sure it can't be much fun."

"Not particularly no. But here's to hoping this is all over with soon." I grinned and readied myself for his attack. But he shifted out of his aggressive stance and frowned.

"How can you say that so easily? Does it not scare you?"

"Not-not really, I guess." I stumbled for the right words as I thought. "I've always tried to not take life too seriously in general. And plus, this has been a drawn-out process for me. The fear kind of faded after a while."

"Hmmmmm." Jasper listened to me quietly and then pushed back into his fighting crouch again. "Alright. Ready?"

"Let's go."

* * *

"Alice?" I called softly to the pixie sitting in my lap and reading a book.

"Mmm?" She responded, her eyes never wavering from her reading, but her hand stroking my knee to let me know she was listening.

"Am I manipulating you?"

"What?" The absurdity of my question caught her off guard and she spun around immediately. "Why on Earth would you think that?"

"The others think so…" I whispered quietly picking at the fabric on the shirt she was wearing.

"Oh that!" She exclaimed, happy to catch up to my train of thought. "No, I just can't say no to you."

"And that's not manipulating?"

"Well, no. It's like if Rose were to really want something and Emmett wouldn't be able to deny her. It's just a mate thing." Alice angled herself better in my lap while she explained to me and propped her chin up onto my knee. "Would you be able to say no to me if I asked you for something I wanted?"

"Not for a second." I replied automatically, bringing a smile to her stunning face.

"See? Mate thing."

"Hm." I groaned, sort of unsatisfied, and Alice jumped on that.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm just bored. And that's not me trying to get something out of you." I added hurriedly as a disclaimer.

"Don't you like the toy I got you?" She asked, referring to the old Corvette she had purchased weeks ago to keep me busy fixing it up. While I appreciated it greatly, I really only worked on cars when I was pissed off about something. The garage was a great place to blast some music and angrily fix things.

"I do. But I'm not in the mood for that right now. I miss being able to do whatever the hell I want."

"Well there is something you and I could do…" Alice lowered her gaze and began to purr.

"You're a perv." I shoved her off and got up from the couch, heading to the kitchen for a blood bag.

Though they didn't say, I'm sure another reason why the Cullens had decided on this house arrest solution was their concern for my new diet. New to them, not to me. Carlisle kept the fridge stocked, but with minimal supply. I knew they were plotting an intervention of some kind soon.

"What?" Alice cried out and followed me, wrapping her arms around my waist as I fed. "Are you tired of me already?" I chuckled and turned around to cup her face once I was finished.

"Never." She grinned, however I saw her already dark eyes grow blacker at the smell of my meal. "Al you gotta hunt."

"I know." She sighed at my observation and moved away. "Jasper and I are planning a trip either today or tomorrow. But you know I hate leaving you."

"What?! This is brand new information to me!" That earned me a hard shove into the fridge. "Oh alright. Yeah I know baby. But I think now is probably the safest time you'll ever leave me. Unable to leave the house and under full custody of your entire family."

"Still not ideal."

"Go tonight. Right after I go to sleep. You'll be gone and back before I even wake up."

"But what if you have a -?"

"If I have a nightmare, I have a nightmare. You can't stop them from happening even when you are there. Besides, you have to admit I've been much better lately."

"They have been." She sighed, knowing her fate was sealed. "Ok."

"Hey, look at that."

"What?" Alice asked as she gently rubbed my free hand.

"We just had a very polite conversation about your needing to hunt and we came up with a solution with no yelling involved."

"I think we're growing." She chuckled and wrapped her arms around my neck to pull me down for a kiss.

"Ugh. Get a room." Emmett had impeccable timing when it came to entering a room.

"I hate this family!" Alice called to the entire house and I laughed at her relatable annoyance.

"Come on. I'm tired anyways." I pulled her upstairs with me before she and Emmett could further bicker. They could go for hours if it wasn't stopped.

Once settled, I went through my normal nighttime routine and prepared for bed. Alice continued to make sure I was okay with her leaving while I slept, and I had to keep reassuring her I probably would never even notice her absence. Eventually when I plopped into bed with her, she seemed to finally be calm.

"Do you want me to pick you up anything while I'm away?"

"Maybe a few new books? Oh, and a couple movies for us for our 'date nights'." I suggested to her. Life could not have been more different for us than it was just a month ago. We'd come accustomed to spontaneity and doing whatever the hell we wanted. Now everything was like we were in a damn care home.

"Sure." She smiled sadly at our situation and molded herself to me as my own personal body pillow. Safe to say I fell asleep in no time with this comfort.

* * *

 _"Her stubbornness? Is it something we can fix?"_

 _"Obviously we've been trying. There's something wrong with her."_

 _"She was supposed to work. They all were."_

 _"Well maybe it was your venom brother. I told you, you should have used mine." I lay, listening to the sounds of the two squabbling kings. Like children, I thought._

 _"Dear Caius, you really think she would be any less stubborn with your venom rather than mine? You fool."_

 _"Then what is it? The boy, he has it too. But his feeds from hers."_

 _"It must be something she had before. We just need to remedy it."_

 _"I told you, I've been trying!"_

 _"Well try harder! We've shown our faces to the entire world Caius. We need her on our side to win. If we don't prevail, we're done."_

 _"The informant said –"_

 _"I know what he said! Just fix her!" Aro stormed off in a rage, leaving Caius ready to throw a tantrum. Unfortunately, I was going to be on the receiving end of that._

 _I heard him before I felt him._

Something was suffocating me. Hot, thick humid air surrounded me, and I woke up in a panic. Still blind from fright I struggled in the dark, fighting off invisible demons.

"Get off!" I yelled, finally succeeding in shoving the tightly wrapped sheet away from me. Almost an immediate relief flowed through me after the cool fresh air hit my body.

A quick glance around let me know I was safe in bed again. A sweat soaked bed yes, but a safe one. Various areas on me stung and I looked down to find several long scratches along my arms and chest. I sighed and pulled my knees into my chest, taking deep calming breaths. From the scent, Alice had been gone for several hours.

"Does that happen often?" I jumped about a foot off the bed at the sudden new voice filling my supposed safe harbor. "Sorry." Rosalie called apologetically after realizing what she had done.

"Um, not really." I lied naturally after recovering from my slight panic.

"Liar." She stood near the door, left open I'm sure from Alice. "She told me to keep an ear open for you."

"It wasn't as bad as it looks."

"Another lie. Do you even know how to tell the truth?" Rosalie eventually decided on letting herself in and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Lies don't hurt people." I muttered, pulling out of my fetal position.

"I forgot how stupid you are."

"What the hell?"

"Last time I checked, all the lies you've told have always hurt someone more." I sighed and nodded at her truthful statement.

"Sorry." Closing my eyes, I tried to focus away from the pain of the cold sweat seeping into the open cuts.

"You know I have to tell Alice about this."

"I know. Just wait until she's done hunting."

"Deal." My eyes were still closed, but I could feel Rosalie shifting closer to assess me. "I guess I'm lucky the only options I had were death or vampirism. Not that I had a choice, but at least I don't have to sleep. No nightmares." Her fingers reached out to a particularly deep scratch along the back of my neck leading into my hairline. I winced from the contact. "Sorry. Do you want Carlisle?"

"No. No I'm fine they'll heal soon."

"Ok." She stood up and walked towards the door again. "You sure you're alright?" Finally opening my eyes, I sat up and surveyed the damage. The sheets were covered in sweat and spattered in my blood, and I'm sure I looked the same.

"Yeah." I forced a smile and began to strip the bed.

"Need any help? Or I could get Esme to make you some of that sleepy tea you like?"

"No really I'm good Rose. I'm just going to throw these in the wash and then take a shower." I bundled the sheets in my arms and walked past her to the laundry room. She followed me, like I was about to spontaneously explode or something. Eventually when I seemed alright enough for her to leave alone, she nodded and left.

Sunlight was starting to enter the room and I knew Alice wouldn't be far behind. Careful of my aching body, I stripped the sweat drenched clothes off and turned on the shower. The hot water initially stung ever harder, but the pain faded away after some time and the healing process began on the smaller cuts. Showers had always been soothing for me, so I stood under the stream for a good ten minutes before actually washing anything, letting my muscles unwind.

The bathroom door creaked open and Alice's scent surrounded me. Any part of me that wasn't calm before was now for sure. From the smell of wildlife on her, I knew she'd join me, so I didn't bother to greet her. Sure enough, I felt her body slide behind mine.

No words were needed. She started to tenderly kiss every scratch that hadn't healed by the time of her arrival. I turned to face her and immediately cracked a grin at her appearance.

"What?" Alice cried at my silent laughter.

"Did you even stop once to look at yourself?" I asked, gently pulling several large twigs and leaves from her hair.

"No. I was about to, but-"

"Rose called." I finished for her, saddened by my mate's worry.

"Yeah." She leaned up to kiss my frown and then grabbed the bottle of shampoo.

Her eyes were a molten gold color, which did help to lighten my mood. She worked quietly and I stood diligently for her. The vibrating purr she emitted from our close embrace was enough reward for me.

"So, you're ok?"

"Yes." I leaned down and touched our foreheads together. She nodded and licked her lips, her mood was unreadable. Wandering hands snaked their way down my abdomen, one touch to my inner thigh and something inside me snapped.

Unaware of how it happened, somehow I had slammed the small woman against the side of the shower, my hand wrapped tightly around her throat and a growl escaping mine.

"So you're not ok." Despite how menacing my actions and sounds were, she didn't even flinch. Almost as if she expected this exact reaction.

"Sorry." I muttered automatically, but nothing in me meant it. My hand refused to move from her neck.

"Talk to me." Still so calm, even as I felt my eyes growing dark, boring into hers.

I wanted to tell her. Tell her exactly how wound up I was. How the only thing I could think about right now was shoving her further into this wall, and fucking her until she cried.

"Nothing." Painfully going against my body's will, I pulled my hand away and exited the shower before I could do something I'd regret.

"It didn't look like nothing." Alice rushed to turn off the water and follow me. "I mean, it looked like you were about to…" She paused reaching a hand out to touch my bare shoulder.

"And I didn't. So please just drop it." I shrugged her hand away and began to dress.

"Is this a Volturi thing? Is this another control issue? I told you, you can talk to me about that stuff. Is it a Cai-?" A warning look from me told her to not finish that sentence. "Is it?"

"No." I mumbled truthfully. "I don't know what it was." That part was a lie.

"Well that's just not true." She stood staring at me and I shrugged again, avoiding looking at her. Unfortunately, my body language gave me away. The cocky little thing grabbed my face and forced me to look her in the eye. "Either you tell me, or I'll force it to happen again."

"Stop." I tried to break her grasp, but it seemed to piss her off and she tried to kiss me again. "Stop I don't want to hurt you." I growled angrily. Did she not understand the seriousness of the situation?

"Then tell me what's wrong." I shook my head no, pushing her away. Obviously I underestimated her stubbornness because within a second she had violently tackled me, straddling my waist.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I yelped at her surprise attack.

"I told you I'd get answers. So, either tell me, or fight me."

"Are you insane?!"

"Bella, you already know the answer to that is yes." She smiled and fought against my extremely soft struggles until the thing inside of me snapped once again.

"DON'T FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN!" I roared angrily once I finally had her painfully pinned underneath me. And fuck me, she was still naked.

"Do it."

"No."

"You want to."

"No I don't."

"Your face can't lie like your words can." She smirked, the freak was actually excited about setting me off this way. My heart hammered so hard I worried it might explode.

"I SAID NO!" I was out of breath, panting from the effort to keep myself together.

"It's a full moon." Alice finally put the pieces of the puzzle together and stopped fighting me so I could calm down.

"Yes."

"And you've been cooped up in here for far too long."

"Stop sugar coating it." I stood up and offered her a hand. She took it and let me pull her up gracefully. "You brought a wild animal home and now it wants out."

"Maybe I could talk Carlisle and Esme into –"

"No, you can't. They're right anyways. I just have to keep fighting my instincts."

"It's not fair. You haven't phased in weeks. You really think you can contain that?"

"I have to. Otherwise I don't know what I'll do once I'm free." Alice dressed quietly and I sat down on the bare bed.

"Do you really believe you have so little control? You were fine with me."

"That was before. Now I'm so fucking tightly wound I don't even know what I'm capable of."

"Like in the shower?" I nodded into my hands, ashamed of my thoughts. "You're not a monster Bella. You've just been dealt a shitty hand. Stop bluffing."

"So you're saying I should fold?"

"No. I think you should draw some new cards." I smiled and finally looked up to where she stood over me.

"I love you." Alice beamed and reached for my hands to get me up.

"I love you too. Now come on, the Denalis arrived a few hours ago."

"Yeah?" I hadn't met them yet.

"Yep. Eleazar wants to meet you and figure you out."

"Oh good. Can he tell me what's going on in there?" I joked, but hoped a little.

"I don't think that's how it works. Now let's go wolf-girl."


	41. Hybrid at Heart

**A/N: Look you guys! A long chapter! *Gasp*. It was gonna be split up but I figured fuck it.**

* * *

 _Suddenly we're fallin' through the twilight zone_

 _Watch the party playing out in slow motion_

 _So tie a ribbon 'round my arm and throw me in_

 _Is it an apocalypse or nihilism on your lips?_

 _We sink or swim_

 _Oh, what would your mother say if she could see what we're doing now?_

 _Oh, what would your mother say if she could hear what we talk about?_

* * *

 **Chapter 41: Hybrid at Heart**

 **Bella POV**

The meet and greet with the Denalis was surprisingly quick and painless. I will admit, the sisters were stunningly gorgeous, and my ego was definitely tested. Alice giggled when I draped my arm around her protectively. However, her laughter turned quite sour when Kate seemed to begin flirting with me. Edward was very entertained by the interactions and behind the scenes knowledge.

"Isabella, might I have a word with you." Eleazar inevitably called me his way, gesturing for me to follow him out to the patio. Alice gave me an encouraging pat, and Kate a glowering look, before shoving me his way.

"Bella, by the way." I corrected him once I caught up.

"Bella." He smiled sincerely and walked us to the nearby tree. "Carlisle and Esme speak very highly of you." I nodded politely, waiting for his reason for bringing me out to chat. "Your gift is…interesting."

"Gift?" I inquired, suddenly confused. Last time I checked, I was just a hybrid. "My gift of being able to turn into a wolf?" Eleazar chuckled and tapped his head.

"No dear, your mental abilities. Shields are pretty rare nowadays."

"Oh." I hadn't really thought of my weird mind thing. I guess I was a shield. "You've seen some before?"

"Yes. In fact, the Volturi tried to collect them for some time there."

"Oh I know." I muttered, instinctively rubbing my forearm.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring them up. I'm sure the memories must be disturbing." He did look genuinely concerned about his choice of words.

"No it's fine. Just instinct." I motioned for him to continue on with what he was saying before.

"Right. Yes, shields are quite handy when it comes down to fighting."

"Why? I mean yeah I can protect myself, but it's not much help in the grand scheme of things."

"Do you-?" Eleazar started, extremely confused. "Did you not know that you could expand your gift to others?"

"I-wait what?"

"Isabella-"

"Bella."

"Right sorry. Bella, your gift is expandable. You can use it to shield others surrounding you."

"No I did not know that!"

"Really? Neither you nor Liam knew?"

"No!" I felt like my whole life was a lie. All those times Jane fucked with Alice and I could have stopped it. I was in a rage.

"Honestly I thought you knew."

"No I wouldn't even know- I don't even know how to-" I had let myself get too heated. My body shook and I felt a violent phase coming on.

"Oh no." Even though Eleazar was right next to me, his voice sounded far away in my tunnel hearing. The only sound I could hear distinctly was the deafening thudding of my heart. "Sh-should I get Carlisle?"

I couldn't trust my mouth to respond. The slight control I had right now was wearing real thin and I had to think fast. If the wolf came out now, she would definitely break free of this fucking boundary.

Sure I wanted to. This house arrest was a big shit show and it sucked, but I couldn't worry the Cullens like that. My family. Alice.

 _Alice_. Alice was the trick to keeping me calm. I closed my eyes and sunk to the ground, balling my fists tightly to keep control. Think of Alice.

"Oh for god's sake Carlisle don't you fucking dare stick her with that needle!"

"It's just a sedative Alice."

"Do you want to piss us both off?" A small scuffle sounded nearby as I regained some of my hearing, but I still kept my eyes closed. "Bella you're bleeding." My angel called, running cool fingertips along my eyes to coax them open. Once her calming scent surrounded me, I looked up to see beautiful big bronze orbs staring down at me in concern. She smiled gently and knelt down to my level.

"Sorry." I mumbled out of instinct.

"For what?" Alice inquired, reaching for my still shaking fists.

"I don't know." She giggled at my stupidity, but immediately frowned once she pried one of my hands open. I had clenched too tightly, and my nails had dug deep into the skin in my palms, drawing the blood Alice smelled.

"Is she in control?" Carlisle called a short distance away.

"Yes!" Alice yelled back blindly, her soft hands still evaluating mine. "And if you even come close to her with that syringe again, I'm going to rip your fucking arm off!" I raised my eyebrow at her, surprised and impressed. "You may be the irrationally angry wolf, but I'm the crazy bitch." She smirked at her joke and then pulled me to my feet.

"Her hands –"

"Are almost already healed." Alice snipped to a concerned Carlisle standing in the doorway. "We're going to wash them off." I let Alice lead me, expecting to go in the direction of the kitchen to wash my blood-soaked hands. But she took a sharp left and moved us upstairs to our room, for which I was grateful to get away from the prying eyes.

Once the door was shut, she sat me down on the bed and started to zoom around the room at vampire pace. I would have tried to keep track of her movements, but my eyes hurt. Moments later she returned to my side with a damp washcloth and began to gently dab my palms with it.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore." A sweet smiled crossed her face and she continued until my hands were clean and the cloth was dark shade of pink.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Eleazar said you were about to phase. And from what I saw before we went outside looked like you were ready to blow."

"I was."

"Then how did you stop it?"

"I don't know." Alice looked at me skeptically until I sighed in defeat. "I thought of you." A soft purr met my ears and she leant down to kiss the top of my head before disposing of the blood-stained cloth.

"So…" Alice started, flopping down onto the bed with me. "What started it?"

"I got pissed off." I mirrored Alice's position and laid down next to her with my eyes facing the ceiling.

"Well no duh." She propped herself up on one arm and ran her free hand along my side. "What triggered the anger?"

"Eleazar." I exhaled, trying to relive what he told me without lashing out again. Alice hummed patiently waiting for me to continue. "He said that my shield, my mental thingy, can be expanded to others around me."

"Mmmm." Alice kept tracing my side as I spoke to the ceiling, and she gave no indication of being upset with this new information.

"It means I could have protected you."

"You do protect me." Frustrated again, I sat up ready to pace the room. But Alice caught my waist and held me in bed.

"All those times Jane tortured you. I could have stopped it."

"If you knew. But you didn't."

"Wh- how is that supposed to make me feel better?" I asked exasperatedly. The pixie merely giggled into my shoulder.

"How were you supposed to know that Bella? I didn't know that. Carlisle didn't. The only person who knew was someone who can _read_ gifts." Sometimes I really hated it when she was always right. And rational.

"Still." I collapsed back down into my prior position, defeated.

"Still what?" Alice followed.

"I'm like the stupidest vampire in the world. Not even knowing my own gift."

"I didn't."

"What?" I rolled over, surprised by this new bit of information. "But you said you've had the visions for as long as you can remember."

"Yeah I had visions, but they were random and constantly coming to me. I had no idea how to control them. Plus it took years to figure out I could kind of aim them at certain people, watching for decisions."

"I didn't know that." I frowned, forgetting my earlier anger. Alice always had a way of making me forget.

"Well that's cause I never told you silly." She booped my nose and sat up, bouncing in place. "Jasper didn't find out he could actually influence people's emotions until months down the road, and it took Edward forever to try and tune everyone's thoughts out in a large crowded room."

"Huh." I felt slightly better, but the thought of what could have been was still nagging at my brain. Alice leaned over me with questioning eyes, trying to read my mood.

"You're still fixating on something. What is it?"

"Things could have gone a lot differently if I had known."

"And that bothers you."

"Does it not bother you?" Alice actually paused to think about it before she shook her head no. "How?"

"Because I believe that everything happens for a reason." I scoffed, rolling away from her enthusiastic personality. "Hey!" She grabbed my shoulder and rolled me right back to her. "How can I not be! I see the future remember?"

"How ever could I forget?"

"So I firmly believe that if you did not know of your gift at those points in time, you were not ready for your future."

"But you don't know my future." I gently reminded her.

"No. But that doesn't mean I don't have feelings."

"Feelings? Feelings about my future."

"Our future." Alice corrected, and whatever Kool-Aid she was drinking began to rub off on me as I smiled once again that day. "And yes. Just because I can't see it doesn't mean I can't feel our happiness."

"How?"

"Isabella Swan must you need a reason for everything in this world?" Amused, I shrugged at her spot-on jab to me.

"Maybe."

"Well you're not getting one. You're just going to have to deal with the fact that there are some things in this world that cannot be explained. They just are."

"Ok." I caught her off guard, she looked like she was ready to rant for another couple minutes.

"Ok?"

"Yeah. Ok." Alice continued to look at me as if I had just smacked her in the head or something. "I trust you. So if you say something, I will follow you wholeheartedly." She grinned and I pulled us both back up off the bed. "Shall we?" I offered her a hand to escort us out of the room, but she had a much different idea and latched herself onto my back.

"How about we learn about that shield huh?" Alice knocked lightly on the side of my head and I laughed at how I became figuratively and quite literally attached to such a woman so different than me.

"He said it'll take some practice." I said while walking us to the top of the stairs.

"That's what I'm here for. Now, let's roll."

* * *

 **Alice POV**

"Oh man. I can't wait till those two are trained up. Two shields to protect us! Bad fucking ass." Emmett guffawed while playing video games with Jasper. Most of us were inside and hanging around the living room. Bella, Liam, and Eleazar were outside learning about their shields and Eleazar wanted minimum distractions. Occasionally, I would peek over Rosalie's head seated across from me on the couch and glance at Bella through the windows. They seemed alright.

"Stop that." Rose smacked my knee when I peered over her for about the tenth time in two minutes. "Just let her concentrate."

"You know you're not very nice." I quipped, grabbing a random magazine sitting on the coffee table.

"Nope. That is not what I'm best known for." I groaned at my sister's pesky personality and then promptly absorbed myself into some articles surrounding the latest fashion trends.

This continued on for a few hours. Emmett laughing and playing video games with Jasper and Edward, Rosalie making snide or risqué comments every once in a while, and me picking up a new magazine.

"Whatchya reading?" Bella had managed to sneak up on me, causing me to jump off the couch and smack her with my magazine.

"Bella!" I cried out while the others around us laughed.

"What? That was priceless." She grinned and wrapped her arms around me in an apology hug.

"So how was it? You a fully equipped shield now?" Emmett moved to tackle her, but Bella side stepped his attack, causing him to crash into the couch.

"Most definitely not. I just started to be able to see the damn thing before the lesson ended."

"See it? Your shield?" Jasper began to tidy up the living room as any good son would.

"Yeah. It's weird." Bella scratched her head and gave me a pleading look. I smiled because I knew that look. That was her 'please get me the hell out of here I'm tired' look.

"Alright. I do believe it is bedtime." I called to the room, giving Liam a pointed head nod. He seemed to agree right away as well.

"Aw no fair! I didn't even get to wrestle her today." Emmett whined as Bella and I climbed the stairs.

"She is not your play thing!" I called back down to him.

"That's cause she's yours." Rosalie sung, making Bella's face grow red. She retreated into the bedroom before any further embarrassment fell unto her. I followed, but threw the magazine I was still clutching at Rosalie's head full force.

"Ow!" Happy with my retaliation, I joined Bella in private once more. The poor thing had already collapsed on the bed, fully clothed. She groaned like a child when I dressed her for night.

"Wow you are not helping me at all here." I struggled with her resisting limbs for a bit until finally getting her tucked in.

"I don't wanna go to school tomorrow." She grumbled to room. I couldn't tell if it was a joke about their shield lessons, or if she was really just that out of it.

"Just go to sleep Bells. You'll feel better in the morning." She moaned around for about a minute more before falling into a snoring slumber. "Ah." I cooed at her awkward looking position. "My sleeping beauty."

* * *

A few days had passed and the shield training was about to begin vampire trials. Naturally, I had volunteered as a subject, while others like Edward and Kate were to be the provokers. Bella had flat out refused Kate's presence, so she was replaced by Jasper.

A nagging thought kept running through my mind though. Bella and Liam had consistently ended lessons completely mentally drained. If this much mental power was taken just from figuring out the shield, I worried how much power would be consumed by actually using it to protect someone.

Much to Bella's annoyance, Edward and I had been paired up with her, while Emmett and Jasper were with Liam. Eleazar kept us in separate corners of the backyard as to avoid distractions.

"Whenever you're ready Bella." Edward said politely enough, but I could tell he still pissed my mate off. I started to recite the alphabet in all the languages I knew.

"Ok." She seemed hesitant when she closed her eyes and furrowed her brows together in deep concentration. Several minutes of awkward grunting went by before she released a breath of defeat. "Anything?"

"Nothing. Sorry." Edward confirmed the loss.

"Ok. Just give me a few minutes and we'll try again."

"Take as much time as you need love."

The second attempt went just like the first. Bella fell back onto a rock to regroup after the third attempt. I squatted down in front of her, hoping she wasn't losing faith.

"You can do this. I trust you."

"It's too hard." She rubbed her head with her knuckles, frustrated at her performance.

"Hey." I grabbed her hand to stop the furious rubbing at her face. "I didn't marry a quitter. Just think about what you would do if Jane were torturing me. Take yourself back to where we were." Bella nodded and took my steady hand to help herself back up.

"Ready?" Edward scrutinized us, but held his hands up when I mentally threatened to murder him a few different ways.

"Yes." Confident this time, Bella closed her eyes once again.

 _Full fathom five thy father lies, of his bones are coral made. Those are pearls that were his eyes. Nothing of him that doth fade, but doth_ – A strange feeling interrupted my thoughts. I felt warm and fuzzy, content where I was.

"Alice?"

"Hmm?" I hummed back to Edward.

"I can't hear you."

"I said hmmm."

"No. I mean I can't hear you anymore."

"Oh! Bella you're doing it!" I shouted to a concentrating Bella. Either she was too focused on the task at hand to hear, or ignoring me.

Less than a minute passed before she collapsed to the ground in exhaustion. The cozy feeling I had went with her. Eleazar had suddenly appeared and rushed to her side with me.

"That was excellent. Nice job." He patted her shoulder.

"I wanna go again." Blindly, Bella struggled to stand, stumbling on top of me to get up. "I can hold it longer. Let me try again."

"No, you're done for the day." I pushed her back and looked at Eleazar for some support on the matter.

"Alice is correct. You've done enough today Bella. Celebrate and rest. We can do more tomorrow." Together, the two of us hoisted her up and carried her back inside to lay on the couch.

"But what if the Volturi come in that time? I can do it again."

"Well if Aro comes you'll definitely be of no use if you can't even stand." I lectured, wrapping her in a straight jacket of a blanket job.

"I can stand. Just let me g…" Mid-sentence she succumbed to the fatigue and swiftly fell asleep. My work here was done.

Liam stumbled back into the house about ten minutes later, supported by Emmett. He seemed to go down with much less of a fight than my stubborn wife.

"How did it go?" I asked Jasper as he walked in behind them.

"It went well. He finally managed to block me at the end. Unfortunately it wasn't very clear to tell from my point of view. I hate to say it, but I think we do need Kate."

"I know." I sighed and pinched my nose in frustration. I knew Kate was the better choice, she was what we were trying to prepare for. But Bella was so protective. Even the thought of me possibly getting hurt would send her over the edge.

"I can take her." Emmett offered, sensing my turmoil. "And maybe you should practice with Liam next time. It's best to keep Bells on her toes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I can take a little shock. Might even be fun." I glanced to Rosalie, who seemed to be questioning it in her head. But she gave Emmett and I a nod of approval.

"Sounds like a plan. However, rest and sustenance is the schedule for today. We'll start again bright and early tomorrow." Eleazar called his lesson plan and then retreated to a spare guest room with Carmen.

"So we're kind of screwed if Aro decides to attack soon." Emmett said what we were all thinking at the moment.

"He won't though. He needs to try to build a guard and that'll take some time." Jasper reassured, sitting down on an armchair with a book in hand. "Here's to hoping he doesn't recruit anyone with powerful gifts."

* * *

A few weeks had gone by and the training was getting much better. Both Bella and Liam were now able to hold their shield for hours on a single person. Their mental fatigue was getting stronger, and it took much longer to collapse.

After the first week of team Emmett, Kate, and Bella, Emmett couldn't take the shocks so much anymore and tapped in Rosalie. Unfortunately for Bella, Rose had a much bigger temper when it came to her shield falling.

 _"DAMMIT BELLA!"_

 _"I'M SORRY!"_ I heard from all the way across the yard one overcast morning. Within seconds my sister had stormed over to our side to confront me.

"We're switching."

"But Bella-"

"Needs the pressure." Rose interrupted before I could get my argument out. "Besides, I wouldn't mind making Edward uncomfortable with all the thoughts in my head." She smirked at our brother, who immediately cringed at whatever was going on in her mind.

"Fine. But if Kate loses an arm, I blame you." I walked slowly over towards where Bella was situated, knowing she would have a fit.

"Not a chance." Bella called the second my scent came near.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Rose is right Bells. You do need real life pressure."

"Not on you."

"Do you really think Aro won't send someone after me during the battle? He knows your weaknesses."

"Weakness." She said quietly. She knew I was right, but hated it all the same.

"Ok Kate, put your dukes up." I nervously joked. Bella sighed in defeat and closed her eyes. The cozy feeling surrounded me again, like a warm hug.

"Ready." Bella called, knowing I was safe in her shield. Kate kept her hand on me, obviously trying to shock me, but I didn't feel a thing. As the time ticked away, I started to feel slight vibrations that grew uncomfortable. It wasn't until the sun set that the shield must have fallen and I yelped in pain.

"Good Bella. I think you're ready to try multiple people." Eleazar must have been watching nearby. Bella glared daggers into Kate even though I reassured her it was more shock than discomfort. "Go get some rest for tomorrow."

The next week we did multiple people tests. This was more of Edward and Jasper's line of field seeing that Kate couldn't try and shock numerous vampires at once. We were all very impressed with the progress the two had made, and soon our daily lessons were disbanded. It was more of a keep practicing on your own kind of thing. So whenever I felt a fuzzy bubble surround me, I would smile at a nearby Bella.

The general mood had turned tense again due to the continued house arrest. At least with shield lessons there was something to do. One lucky evening I had convinced a majority of the household to take a hunting trip, leaving one semiprivate night for Bella and me.

Our date consisted of me plying my wife with wine until she was tipsy horny. One of my favorite Bella moods.

"Everyone else is in their rooms." I muttered under my breath as we sat on the living room couch with a roaring fire in front of us. "Their sound proofed rooms." Bella snorted a laugh at my terrible flirting and proceeded to carry me upstairs to our room. We were a giggling mess once collided with the bed. It had been a really long time for us, both way too self-conscious when the entire family lived in the same damn house.

"Shhhh." Bella hushed, still laughing. "We still can't be that loud."

"I take you up on that challenge." I quipped, pushing her underneath me as I did so. I paused to study her flushed face. "How drunk are you on a scale of one to ten?"

"Three. Maybe four." Bella grinned and removed my underwear.

"Hey, remember that night – ?"

"Oh my god Alice." She groaned, knowing exactly where my mind was. "Are you ever going to get over that?"

"Four minutes Bella! I'm never going to get over that. That's gotta be some kind of record."

"I was worked up." She was embarrassed and I found it adorable.

"I love you." Her body wiggled as she tried to regain control. But I remained in place and bent over to place a chaste kiss on her lips. "And I'm going to beat that record tonight."

"Ah fu-" My hand placed over her mouth drowned out the rest of her curse. If I had to be quiet, then so did she. Her muffled groaning only became louder when I settled between her legs with our sexes grinding against each other.

My plan seemed to backfire because the sound of her stifled moans underneath my palm was turning me on much more than regular. Her hands roamed up my hips to keep me steady as I rocked against her. The pressure she was using was definitely harder than normal, and she kept eye contact. Fuck me.

Trying to concentrate, I threw my head back and tried not to look at the body beneath mine. Bella caught on to the fact that I was falling apart fast and gripped my hip bone even tighter. She even bit my hand in an effort to bring my eyes back down to her. Finally giving up, and realizing Bella would get to do the bragging about this night, I let her do the guiding.

Her eyes twinkled mischievously when I gave back into her, and once again she pulled me further down into her hips with her hand. A tickling pain crept up my waist and I gasped at the new sensation.

"Faster." I muttered to her. She complied, this time showing some weakness herself as she started moaning again. I didn't dare move my hand from her mouth as I knew how loud we could get if restrictions weren't set.

Finally after an embarrassingly short amount of time, I couldn't take it anymore and let the orgasm overtake me. Even as I released grateful moans of pleasure, I heard a distinct cheer of triumph from my mate. It was quickly followed by her own delighted cries. She kept us rocking until I couldn't hold myself up any longer.

"Fuck." I gasped, breathing hard against her chest.

"I'm sorry what was that you were saying before about a record?" Bella retorted once regaining her awareness.

"Shut up." Our legs were still tangled together but she didn't seem to care. "I blame the fact that it's been so long."

"Yeah. I can't wait till we have our own place again."

"I second that." I chuckled at her post sex face staring back at me. It was so pleased it looked almost drugged. She beamed back, her eyes wandering down to her hand still resting on my hip.

"Oh shit." Her smile faded and I looked down to see what she was staring at. Apparently in the heat of the moment she had squeezed too tight, causing cracks to form where her hand was. Well that explains that weird painful feeling. "I'm so sorry." I knew her guilt was about to ruin a perfectly good night so I had to act fast.

"Stop. Obviously I didn't feel a thing. Honestly I still can't. And considering the amount of bones I've broken of yours I would say we're still not even close to being even. So, please don't go all Bella and get angry or depressed."

"Alright." Surprisingly she agreed, only lightening my mood further. Bella broke our position and scooted down to kiss the area. Gently, she rolled me back over and trailed her kisses down my inner thigh.

"Oh it's that kind of night." I exclaimed at the foreseeable future in front of me.

"Mmmhhmm."

"O-ok!" I gasped midsentence as she shocked me with the entrance of her tongue. I grabbed a nearby pillow this time to muffle my moans. After all, we had no idea how long it would be until the next time this many vampires were out of the house at once.

* * *

The next morning the house was full again much to our dismay. Bella complained about having to get out of bed and put clothes back on. I completely agreed.

"You do need to hunt yourself though." Bella tugged my shirt up slightly to check on the injury from the evening before.

"I can go tonight?"

"No you should go this morning." I raised a skeptical eyebrow, I hated leaving her in the day. "With all the vampires in this house Alice? I think I'll be safe and well entertained."

"Alriiiight." I groaned and walked out of the bedroom to the family chaos below us.

"Oh Bella, Bella!" Emmett called the second my mate was in view. I gave her an apologetic glance before gliding down the staircase banister. "Practice fighting today with Jasper and Kate. You in?"

"Sure." She followed me down the steps slowly. "I could let off some steam."

"Oh man it's a full moon tomorrow huh?" Emmett didn't seem to understand the physical toll it took on her to not phase for this long. But then again, I don't think most knew. "What do you say Alice, you in as well?"

"Um no. I'm going to take a quick hunting trip."

"You just went a week ago." Edward questioned my sudden need for a hunt so soon again. However I glared at him and gave him a slight peek on the why and he turned his head down in discomfiture, immediately dropping the subject.

"Lame." Emmett jeered at me before turning his attention to Rosalie. "Rose baby, you in?"

"I'm always up for kicking your ass bear man." She smiled and flipped her hair. The group then left one by one out the patio door. Bella turned back briefly to me and I gave her a wave.

"Good luck." I called to her. She put a strained smile on her face and followed the rest of the group. I really hated seeing her like this. How much longer could she go denying her instincts? I'm sure the blood diet helped to be quite honest, but she was a hybrid at heart.

I did keep my hunt rather short. The woods in Washington were much more fruitful than some of the places Bella and I had been hunting during our nomad phase. So it was easy to bag a deer and a few smaller creatures to heal my wound right up. Upon my return, I took a quick shower to get the wildlife and gamey smell off me before meeting up with the fight club.

"How's it going?" I approached Bella who was sitting next to Emmett on a nearby log. Jasper and Rosalie were locked in a heated battle, and Kate stood secluded leaning on a tree.

"Good. Rosalie is keeping Jasper on his toes." I nodded and then rested my head on Bella's shoulder.

"For now." Jasper called cockily. Rosalie growled in response.

"How are you?" She turned into me and once again lifted my shirt discreetly to check if the hunt had done the trick.

"In perfect health. See?" She smiled, this time genuinely, and turned back to the fight.

"Huh. I would have thought Alice would be the one with the tougher hand in bed." Kate sneered to us. She must have been spying on us during the interaction. "But then again, Bella is the actual animal." Emmett collapsed into a fit of giggles and Bella's heartrate went skyrocketing.

"Well shit Bella Bear! I always tell Alice to not break you. What on earth did you do to my little sis?"

"Emmett!" I yelled at him. Bella just stood up and walked away. I wasn't sure if she couldn't take the humiliation anymore, or she was getting too worked up. I was too mad at my moron brother to tell her mood before she left. "Nice going idiot!" In his defense, Emmett did seem to show remorse on his face, and he kept his mouth shut as I jogged after Bella's scent around the yard.

I found her on the porch, sitting a top the railing. She looked downright miserable.

"So what's up?" I hopped up onto the railing with her. Bella merely shrugged and kept her eyes down. "He was just teasing Bella. That's Emmett's nature."

"No it's not that. It's – " She looked up to the sky, trying to find the right words. "I love your family. Our family. I love them all so much and would do anything for any one of them."

"But they're driving you insane." I finished for her. These last several weeks had been hard on us.

"I mean, we were on our own. Like, completely free. And it's just kind of hard to go from that freedom to total confinement under everyone's noses all the damn time."

"I know." I agreed wholeheartedly. But at least I still had some freedoms. She was surrounded at all times. We had been spoiled for months. "I miss our old place." Bella sighed and wrapped her arm around me.

"Sorry for running off. I'm just tired." I squeezed her side. There was really no need for an apology.

A pleasant breeze flew in and I felt Bella bristle naturally to the feeling. I missed running with her. I missed the way her chest would rumble when I scratched her wolf ears. I missed how overjoyed she used to be after phasing.

"Ah fuck it." I declared suddenly, causing Bella to jump. "Fuck it!"

"Fuck what?" Bella grew concerned when I jumped down from the railing without notice.

"We're going for a run Bella. You need this. I need this. Let's go."

"They'd kill us."

"I don't care! I'm so tired of all these damn rules. Look at how miserable you are! We need this Bella. If the Volturi came right now, you would be nowhere near your full health. I want you happy and healthy."

"You're serious about this?" A light grew in her eyes at the prospective of what I was saying.

"Hell yes! Let's do this Bells. Let's go." I took her hand, ready to start running. Already I could feel it begin to vibrate.

"Ok." She let me tug her, smiling ear to ear.

"Come on love. There's no time to waste."


	42. Unheard Warning

_Pick me up, dust me off_

 _Give me breath, and let me cough_

 _Drag me back, collect my thoughts_

 _I've come back to the land I'd lost_

 _The palms are down, I'm welcomed back to town_

 _Sometimes I feel like they don't understand me_

 _I hear their mouths making foreign sounds_

 _Sometimes I think they're all just speaking tongues_

 _Tell me all the things I've missed_

 _Who's been killed and who's been kissed_

* * *

 **Chapter 42: Unheard Warning**

 **Alice POV**

"Come on Bella! Let's go!"

"I'm trying." Bella's voice came out strained as if she were struggling. I paused my running to figure out what was taking her so long.

"There's no time for that!" I exclaimed in a panic. She had been trying to dispose of her clothes while she ran. "Just shift."

"But you hate when I shred clothes." She finally succeeded in getting her shoes off, but stopped when I told her to.

"I know. But they could be after us right now."

"Ok." She looked sheepish. Usually shifting in clothes was an unplanned sort of thing. Bella closed her eyes and started to shake into it.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"It's just- that is a nice belt." She smiled and removed it, handing it to me gingerly. "And the jeans with that perfect fit were hard to find."

"Alice!"

"I'm sorry!" Bella seemed to settle on the fact that maybe I wasn't ok with the clothes shredding and stripped at a rapid pace, throwing articles of clothing my way haphazardly.

"Happy?" She stood gloriously naked in front of me and I grinned boyishly.

"For multiple reasons yes." She rolled her eyes and backed away from me.

"No time. Watch out." Almost as the words fell from her mouth did the giant beast come bursting out of her. My large wolf grinned, or at least I believe it was a grin in this form, and sprinted deep into the forest. I was hot on her heels, trying to fold her clothes neatly in my hands while we ran.

We ran for miles. Bella had smartly found a small river and directed us to run through it. The constant stream of running water would cover our scents. So we followed the river, until we moved to another. And another. Eventually it seemed Bella was satisfied with the distance between us and our family, and she stopped in an open clearing.

Apparently comfortable, Bella bowed into a deep stretch and curled up lazily on the ground after.

"Happy?" She grunted and immediately curled around me when I sat down. "Thought so." I scratched her ears lightly and her tail wagged at the notion.

The long run had exhausted her and she soon dozed off. I had to admit, I did miss her wolf form. Not in some weird way, but she had needed some time off. She had been way too tense lately, and in turn, so had I.

Bella was difficult to read. She had always been hard to read, but especially after the Volturi and her guards went up.

Her emotions were impossible to predict when we started dating, and sometimes still to this day. But years of being with her, and many a fights and emotional breakdowns gave me some knowledge.

There were some tell tale signs of an upcoming outburst. Panic attacks came on suddenly and there was no preemptive solution. But explosions of anger and emotional collapses had a little forewarning, if you knew what to look for.

For instance, before any bad fight we had had, Bella had begun to withdraw from me and become antisocial. It was her way of trying to avoid any triggers. Unfortunately for her I was definitely not on that same thought train.

Then there were the breakdowns. They were usually proceeded by an increase in smaller panic attacks, and general foul moods. It all sounded so angsty and teen drama-y. But you had to remind yourself that we were both forever stuck in our teenage years. A roller coaster of emotions is bound to happen with that crappy deck.

"Bella." I nudged the peacefully sleeping wolf cuddled on my side. Several hours had passed and the sun was about to go down. The family was probably worried sick at this point and I knew we didn't want to piss them off any further. "We should head back now." The wolf grumbled with drooping eyes and tried to hide her face under my body. "Bella!" I giggled at her antics.

She groaned dramatically when I tugged on her. Eventually succumbing to my pestering, Bella melted back into her human form.

"Really?" I raised an amused eyebrow at her very naked form. She made no movement to cover herself.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" I rolled my eyes at her lame attempt.

"Here." The clothes she had stripped out of earlier were in a neatly folded pile near me and I handed them to her. "Get dressed, we should get back."

"You're a real bummer." Put out, she complied and threw her clothes back on.

"I know. But it was my idea for this little journey. Do I at least get the fun points for that?" Bella chuckled and gave me a quick kiss once she was fully dressed.

"I'll consider it."

"Consider it! Where would you be without me Isabella Swan?"

This playful banter continued all the way back to the vicinity of the house. As we came nearer, Bella showed signed of obvious nerves and slowed down.

"I'm sorry I thought you were a wolf, not a pussy cat." I teased at her state. She gulped loudly and looked at me with pleading eyes.

"I don't want to go in first." The woman knew how to play me like a fiddle, and I had grown very soft when I was with her.

"Fine!" I threw my hands up in defeat and braved first into the yard. Just when we got within smelling distance, a large crash sounded.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Esme came rushing over, easily more pissed off than I had ever seen her.

"Abort?" Bella whispered to me so quietly under her breath that Esme could not hear as she stormed towards us. I had to suppress my giggle, which was easy to do when I was currently fearing for my life.

"Well Bella needed to run and– "

"SO YOU JUST LEFT WITHOUT A WORD?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED WE WERE? YOU COULD HAVE BOTH BEEN KILLED!"

"Would you rather do nothing and have her suffer day after day?!" I understood her frustration. What we did was irresponsible and probably rather alarming for them. But I had begged and begged with Carlisle and Esme for weeks leading up to this. Pleading for them to just give Bella some free space for a while.

"No! But you – "

"Esme dear." Carlisle approached the fight with a somber expression. "Please don't yell at the two. We don't want another situation. Let's handle this with care this time."

"Situation?" Bella inquired, finally perking up after cowering behind me. Carlisle and Esme shared a glace, and then he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"While we were worried sick about you," he started sternly, "there was a great deal of yelling and commotion going on. I believe it became too much for Liam to handle and he shifted quite violently. I think it startled him much more than us, and he ran off very confused and afraid. We haven't been able to find any of you since."

"Wait he's still out there? Alone?" Bella looked around, almost as if she was hoping he would suddenly pop up behind her as she said this.

"Yes. And now that you're back we could definitely use your help tracking him."

"And let them out again?!" Esme protested immediately.

"WHY DO YOU THINK HE PHASED IN THE FIRST PLACE? THIS IS A TOXIC ENVIRONMENT!"

"Easy Al." Bella placed a hand on my shoulder and pulled me back into her to calm down.

"I'm afraid she is right Esme love. We were both being so protective that we overlooked the other effects this protection had. I'm sorry Bella, truly."

"But we were protecting them." Esme was grief stricken at this revelation. "I didn't mean – "

"I know you didn't." Bella blurted before Esme could break down. I knew she hated it almost as much as watching me cry. "Your intentions were pure. And you're not a wolf so you couldn't know."

"Yes, but we could have listened." Carlisle was full of guilt. I wasn't as ready to forgive as Bella was, but I was willing to let go for the time being. There were more pressing issues.

"We can talk later. Liam."

 **Bella POV**

"Right." Carlisle acknowledged Alice's obvious tone that she was not done yet. She could get quite feisty when it came to me. "Edward and Jasper are already out searching. Emmett and Rosalie can go with you two. Esme and I will stay put in case he comes back on his own."

"Sound good?" Alice turned to me for confirmation of the plan. I nodded and followed them back to the house to meet up with Emmett and Rose.

Once inside, Rosalie immediately slapped me across the face in a fit of rage and relief.

"Rosalie!" Esme chided, but I waved her down, feeling I deserved some sort of punishment for the worry we inflicted. The ice queen stomped out the door, fully knowing we had no choice to follow.

"Lead the way dog." She spat, once we reached the edge of the woods. I presumed this was the spot where they last saw him.

"Alright that's enough Rose." Alice grew irritated with her attitude directed at me.

"Oh I'm just getting going."

"You have no – "

"Stop!" I placed my hands over my ears to drown out their fighting. "Please I need to concentrate." The two complied but the tension in the air was palpable.

After a few moments of sniffing around, I managed to catch a trail and walked pointedly in a direction. The remaining three followed.

We walked deep into the woods, miles to follow his scent, stopping every now and then to make sure I had the correct track. After about three miles, the scent grew so strong, the others were able to sense it as well.

"He's near." I whispered, straining my ears and eyes now for the wolf.

"Liam!" Alice called, in a much different mindset than I. But it worked, a few seconds later the unmistakable sound of a wolf padding closer came by. He emerged from the thick woods, rather frazzled looking. Alice tossed him a bag of clothes they had packed earlier, and he snagged it between his teeth before changing back behind a tree.

"What the fuck?" Rosalie went to slap him as well, but he was quicker than I and dodged her attack. "You god damn fucking moron! You all could have been killed today!"

"Yeah and I was trying to warn you!" Liam exclaimed, ducking yet another attempt Rosalie made.

"What?" Emmett pulled Rosalie back while he questioned.

"There was a fucking vampire scent nearby but you all kept screaming at each other about Alice and Bella and were too occupied to hear me. So I phased to get your attention, but then my wolf kinda overtook and I started to hunt the scent down on my own accord."

"A vampire scent?" I took a long whiff of the surrounding air.

"Yes. I started to lose it around here though. And then I was able to gain control back. But I swear I smelled it Bells."

"Yeah I smell it too." Alice said, surprising everyone.

"You do?" Rosalie appeared to not be able to pick up on anything. I was getting a hint, but I couldn't quite clarify it. It had a certain note, something that I vaguely remembered. But I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Bella!" Alice cried, her face horrorstruck with a sudden realization.

"What?" She was freaking me out and I started to approach her.

"The Rom – " The words were snuffed out of her mouth. Something moving at an unnatural speed slammed into her, sending her flying away.

"Alice!" I ran after her direction, Emmett hot on my heels. But all too suddenly I was crashed into, sending Emmett and I tumbling the other way.

Flashes of pale white skin surrounded us as we fought the intruder. The forest and vampire fell into a mixed blur, leaving me dazed and confused. Once I finally gained the use of my feet again, I found the face of Vladimir in front of me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I growled, remembering my vow I made to them if they had shown up again.

"Friend or foe?" Emmett, still standing next to me, asked nervously.

"Foe. Definitely foe." I spat his way. The sound of another running our way alerted all of us. Liam had somehow managed to find us. Realizing he was very outnumbered now, Vladimir ran. But today, I decided, was not his day.

Without a second thought, I chased right after him. My brothers stayed close, ready to flank. Emmett was on my right, and a brilliant idea crossed my mind.

"Emmett. Move 31." He nodded at my attack call. We had trained for this with Jasper just that day.

"On your mark Bella Bear." I smirked at him. My speed increased into a burst so I could just catch up with old Vlad. Fearing I would jump his back, he turned to attack my front. Just before he grabbed my neck, I dove and slid into his legs. But Vladimir was old, he knew how to jump in time before I knocked him down. Exactly what we expected. While he distracted himself from avoiding me, Emmett got a hold of his torso, struggling just enough to lean him back for me. And within a minute, I had him beheaded.

"Fucking nice!" Emmett was beyond psyched at our success. "That right there was god damn perfect!" I laughed at his excitement and looked for a lighter or some matches. "Here." Emmett tossed me a spare match which I lit on a tree before throwing it a top the ancient vampire. Soon to be a pile of ash.

"Nice one big guy." I slapped him on the back.

"Couldn't have filled me in on that one?" Liam was a bit disappointed that he missed out on the action.

"Well that's what you get for sleeping in bud." Emmett tried to mess with his hair. It was a very lighthearted moment. Until –

"Alice!" I cried out. How could I have fucking forgotten! I ran in the opposite way in which we came. _Two! There are two of them Bella_. I smacked my head as I ran, praying for Alice to be unharmed nearby. "ALICE!" I yelled once I thought I was close enough.

"Bella." A gut-wrenching croak reached my ears, and I lunged after it.

Rosalie was laying several feet away, one arm ripped off and missing her right leg from the knee below.

"Emmett!" I called frantically searching for her leg. Rose's arm was nearby, but I could find the damn leg. Jasper emerged from the woods, carrying the missing leg and a dead deer. Emmett slid next to me and cradled Rosalie in his arms.

"Where's Alice?" I asked Jasper, growing more panicked by the second.

"She's not with you?" His question almost threw me into a set of hysterics. But I held it together for the moment. I just needed to find her.

"Bella?" Edward sounded off further away. His tone was tentative, maybe even a little sick? My nightmares came true when I found him, standing over the body of my mate. Her neck almost cracked all the way off.

My knees turned into jelly and they buckled. With no power left, I was forced to crawl my way over to Alice's body. She was much too still.

"He was next to her." Edward pointed to the head of Stefan.

"Burn him." The guttural sound came from me. The noise was unrecognizable. But the rage melted away once I looked back into my arms. "Alice."

"Jasper we need another deer!" Edward went to give the command to Jasper personally. But I knew from the sound of his voice that a deer would be of no help. Not even one deer would heal Rosalie's wounds. Hers would take days of feeding.

"Alice please." The shakes and tremors wracked my body. I was helpless. I had left her. This was the cause of it. "Wake up baby. I'm right here." A wave of empathy hit me as I found myself in shoes that Alice had worn several times. She didn't have a heartbeat that I could listen to to go off of. I had no way of knowing if she would ever wake up. "Please just tell me what to do!" I screamed at the sky.

 _Aro's venom._ A small dark voice replied. I ground my teeth at it.

"No." I spat venomously. "No." But the thought gave me an idea. This situation required impulsive decisions. I once asked Alice how she knew to snap my neck while I was dying. She said she didn't, just had one last hope of an idea and prayed it worked.

Desperate, I grabbed a sharp rock nearby and sliced my wrist on its edge. It burned incredibly, but the pain of possibly losing her made it nothing in comparison.

Once the blood from the cut began to flow freely, I placed it over Alice's mouth. How could I get her to drink when she was unconscious? I propped her up slightly, hoping any blood that fell into her mouth would slide down her throat. And I sat there, waiting for any indication.

"What are you doing?!" Edward shouted once back in the clearing with another dead deer.

"Shut the fuck up or I will kill you." I threatened back. If this didn't work I definitely would kill him just out of anger. But it would work. It had to.

Through some miracle, or some cruel god, after about five minutes of this, Alice made some movements of life. I let out an audible gasp and a little more optimism came to me.

Ten more minutes went by and Alice was actually able to grab my arm and bite into it. It was a blind reflex feeding. Like how newborns knew how to breastfeed once born. It was a natural instinct.

I looked up to Edward with a watery smile. She would be okay. Jasper soon joined with a plethora of woodland creatures, but became fascinated with the scene before him.

"Her neck!" He exclaimed excitedly. I glanced back down to Alice and gasped again at her healing neck. Alice's strength was returning and her grip on my arm grew tighter. She bit down into my wrist again, an obvious frenzy underway.

"Easy Alice." Edward went to remove her from me, but I growled as he neared.

"Not until she's healed." I monitored her neck closely. Yes, it was healing at a miraculous rate, but it still had a long way to go.

"You'll bleed out." Jasper warned softly. I looked up at him, and he understood in my eyes that I didn't care. He nodded and stepped away, motioning Edward to do so.

"Keep drinking Alice." I repositioned her in my lap so she could sit up as she grew strength. The more she drank the more she began to move again. "Just keep going."

My vision was growing blurry and I had to prop myself up on a nearby tree. She still wasn't conscious. Alice may have been drinking but it was more of a dream-like state.

"Bella you need to stop." Seemingly out of nowhere, Liam's hand grabbed my shoulder, trying to shake me away from her.

"No she needs the blood."

"And she's gotten enough. You need to rest." I felt him tug me away.

"Just a little more. Just keep drinking. Keep dri…" The world faded into darkness and I succumbed to the weight on my chest pulling me down.

* * *

 **A/N: I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS! If I were crazy I would say before 2020, but I know myself too well. BUT IT IS HAPPENING. I'm just lazy when it comes to getting the words out.**

 **Thank you for all your patience. I promised you I would never let this go. I've kept that promise, albiet quite slowly. This is the final stretch though. WE CAN DO IT**


	43. Mary Alice

_Roll the window down, let the air blow 'round you_

 _A sadness in the breeze as the night divides us_

 _In these darker days, I push the limit to the love you offer_

 _There's a riot in my head, demanding we do this forever_

 _Why would we divide when we could come together?_

 _Just bodies that collide, lost and found each other_

 _So don't, don't leave me alone_

 _Don't leave me alone, don't leave me alone_

 _Why would we divide when we could come together?_

 _Looking back around, glamorize the chaos_

 _Don't let summer nights destroy everything before us_

* * *

 **Chapter 43:** **Mary Alice**

 **Bella POV**

Peaceful. Peaceful would be the word I would use to describe my feeling at the moment. I didn't know where I was, or even who I was, but I felt so peaceful. Was I alive? I wasn't sure. But it was nice, and oh so easy.

There was music here. And a soft movement. Vibrations? It was cool, but felt so comfortable. It was home.

Little by little, my body came back to me. It was sobering, nevertheless necessary. Everything was still fuzzy, and I had to put the puzzle together piece by piece.

The vibrations were coming from what my head was laying on. It felt like a moving body. And the music was the sound of someone humming. Humming so beautiful it could make an angel cry. There was also a repetitive soothing feeling being continued on my head. Someone was petting it, blindly playing with the hair there. Yet, it was careful and loving.

Slowly but surely, I cracked my eyes open to inspect the situation. I had prepared myself for the overwhelming light, so my flinch wasn't particularly violent. Although it was still noticeable to the hummer.

"Well hello beautiful." She stopped her ministrations and set down what appeared to be an open book in her hand. I tried to pick up my head and get a good look at her, but it was too heavy and I fell back onto her abdomen where I had been placed sometime before. "Awake for not two seconds and you're already trying to move." There was a faint tsking sound at this. "Just rest for once in your life."

My instinct was telling me that if this normally happened, I would fight back any way I could. But not with this person. I trusted her and didn't know why.

"Ok." I mumbled into the fabric she wore. "You smell nice." The woman giggled at my comment and went back to petting my head again. Her fingers kept brushing from my scalp down to my neck.

"I'm glad to hear."

"Mmmmm. Like vanilla…and peppermint." I was drifting on a cloud of her, and she seemed to enjoy it. She was heavenly. But what if I wasn't? What if I didn't smell good? Was I upsetting the woman? "What do I smell like?"

"Like a freshly cut Christmas tree." Her reply was automatic, as if she had told me before. Had she?

"Is that good?"

"It's perfect."

"Am I dead?" It seemed a logical question.

"You are most certainly not. Now hush and get some rest please." I didn't want to comply. I wanted to see her. Her words and actions were so sweet that I needed to lay my eyes on the kind woman. But she began to hum again, and I surrendered to the delectable sound.

* * *

"Alice?" Sometime later I had regained some of my memories and awareness.

"Yes Bella?" She kept her amused patience with me.

"Am I alive?"

"Didn't you already ask me this question?"

"Yes."

"Yes Bella." I could hear the laughter in her tone.

"But did I die?"

"No you did not. Carlisle said you almost did. You lost a lot of blood."

"Is that why my head is fuzzy?"

"Precisely. And which is exactly why I keep telling you to rest. But as always your stubbornness prevails." I laughed into her shirt at this. It was familiar.

"But my arm hurts." Alice sighed and reached for the arm, somehow knowing exactly which one it was without my telling.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" I didn't mean to upset her. She sounded so… sad.

"You'll remember. Eventually."

"Ok." I continued to lay there and think. Which was difficult to do when you're laying in a pile of marshmallow fluff, having aroma therapy hit you at the same time. And she's still petting you, so softly. Ever so patient. She was so perfect that I could marry her.

Wait a minute.

"We're married right?"

"Yes Bella." I fidgeted my fingers around a bit and frowned.

"Where's my ring?"

"Aro has it."

"Right." That sounded right. My brain was blocking out painful memories at the moment. I was thankful and aggravated by that. It was nice not to be disturbed, but I wanted to remember. "Mary Alice Brandon." I licked my lips to taste her name on them.

A little while later, a gentle man came into the room to ask how I was doing. Carlisle. That was his name. Carlisle asked Alice on my status, and she stated that I was in somewhere named 'Twinkle-town'. Carlisle chuckled at her comment and said I would be up to speed in a few hours or so.

"Her arm hurts." She whispered, thinking I couldn't hear, or maybe was incapable of listening.

"Morphine may slow down her healing."

"Anything less strong?"

"Maybe." I heard him move around her to get a good look at me. "She's so…peaceful. I can't remember the last time I've seen her like that."

"I can." Alice murmured to herself. She leaned over and kissed the top of my head.

"I'll come back to check on her in a bit. Keep watch on yourself as well."

"Will do. Thank you Carlisle." The second the door closed, Alice went back to humming absentmindedly.

 _Keep watch on yourself_. Why would she need to watch herself? Was there something wrong with her? Was she hurt?

My worrying opened up a Pandora's box of unpleasant memories, and everything came rushing back. I gasped for breath, fearing I would be suffocated with all the emotions.

"Bella what's wrong?!" An alarmed Alice had jumped up and cradled me.

"Your neck!" I finally shouted in a panic. After hours of laying down, I turned to face her, only to find her in perfect health. She was frowning at me.

"It's fine, see? Are you ok?" I must have looked like a wild animal. I could have sworn her neck was almost completely detached the last time I saw her. Untrusting, I reached out and touched the area to make sure it wasn't an illusion. It seemed to be fine. I recoiled back to my original position but had to do a double take.

"Alice your eyes!" My mate's once honey gold eyes were now a shining crimson red. Alice returned a sheepish look and shrugged away from my flabbergasted gaze. "What's wrong?"

"They frighten you." She worried like a small child.

"What? No they don't! Where do you get that idea?"

"You jumped when you saw them."

"Because I was shocked!" I pleaded, trying to have her face me again. "Nothing you could do could frighten me Al. I'm just – how did - ? Why are they red?" I was a little bit concerned about the cause of this effect. Alice seemed upset. Did she kill someone by accident?

"Do you really not remember how you almost died?"

"Ummm." I wracked my brain to try and remember that part. I vividly remember Alice being almost dead, and not knowing what to do. How did she live? Pains kept shooting up my arm as I thought, and it broke my concentration. But how did I get injured?

Things sort of snapped back into place. I looked back up to Alice, who was biting her lip, and down to my arm again.

"Ohhhh."

"Yeah." Alice took my arm and gingerly removed some bandages to reveal several wounds. One cut on my wrist, and two additional bite marks near it.

"Wow that really worked better than I thought it would." I sat up to get a better look at her neck. "How do you feel?"

"Is that really the first thing you say after you remember almost dying for me?!"

"Well…yeah." She punched my other arm, with minimal force. "Honestly I fully expected to die."

"Why do you have to do this Bella?! Do you know how that makes me feel?!" Her eyes watered in anger crying, but per usual those tears never fell.

"It should make you feel loved." I said seriously and placed my hand over hers. "And I would do it all over again. I almost lost you."

Alice looked very conflicted. There was definite annoyance with me there, but she also couldn't be mad at my willingness to save her. The words I stated had touched her, and she let a breath of defeat go, before kissing my cheek.

"Thank you for saving me Bella."

"You're very welcome." With my energy returning, I sat up on the bed across from her after our intimate moment. "So how do you feel?"

"Honestly good." She replied, rubbing her neck. "Carlisle is a little worried about the affects your blood may have on me, but right now I just feel very healthy."

"That's great! And the red did not scare me. Now we're just a red eyed couple." I smirked at her. But she bit her lip again, obviously hiding something.

"About that…"

"What?"

"Um. Here." She pulled a small mirror out from a spare bedside drawer and handed it to me. Confused, I frowned and angled it on my face to get a look. To my great surprise, my previously red eyes had turned back to the light gray.

"How?"

"In layman's terms, I sucked it all out of you." Alice mumbled in a disgruntled sort of way. But while she sulked, I thought for a moment.

"Wait a second. I'm not thirsty anymore."

"What?"

"I'm not _thirsty_ anymore." We both kind of stared at each other at this realization.

"Really?"

"I think you sucked all the nicotine out of me." I commented, suddenly giddy about not having to deal with the constant thirst anymore. Or the worry. Or the uncontrollable emotions.

"That's good right? You're happy?" Alice was unsure about how I felt during this revelation. She still felt guilty.

"Very." To reassure her, I summersaulted across the bed to lay next to her. She smiled at my gestures, but I could still sense the sadness in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You'll laugh."

"We'll never know if you don't tell me." She hesitated and I cupped her face in my hand to coax her.

"It's just – well nothing _goes_ with red eyes." She said earnestly, which caused me to burst out laughing.

"Oh my god Alice! Only you could be worrying about fashion at this moment."

"Bella I'm serious! I'm going to be struggling for weeks with my outfits. Stop laughing!" When I couldn't, she shoved me out of the bed. Yet I kept chuckling on the ground, tickled by her adorable worrying. "Sorry. Are you ok?" She peered over the bed when my laughing ceased.

"Yeah. I'm hungry." I stated, suddenly aware of my growling stomach.

"Yes you are." Alice responded back while she listened the familiar growls. "Esme is going to have a field day." She hopped down and offered me a hand to help stand up.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Alice was inches from the door when I asked. She turned and beamed at me.

"Absolutely. Now that you're better I can actually feel this energy in my body."

"Should I be concerned?" Alice had fed from me before, but the blood she had consumed was minimal. She was pretty much running on me at the moment, and I wasn't sure of any side effects.

"Nope." She bounced a little and flew out the door with me in tow. Her positive response did little to comfort me. But I kept my concerns in a back pocket and let myself be dragged by her cheerfully.

"Hey it's the hybrid blood bag!" Liam greeted us when we arrived downstairs.

"Ha ha." I said dryly. He smiled and punched me playfully on the arm before following us into the kitchen.

"Mommmm." Alice called dramatically to Esme. "Bella is ready for human food."

"Oh!" A loud crashing sound came from the pantry as Esme rushed into action.

"I can help." I muttered, trying to get around Alice into the kitchen.

"No!" Esme smacked my head with a spatula and directed me to sit at the kitchen island. I did as I was told. Alice, who seemed even more jittery than normal, which was hard to imagine, hopped onto the counter in front of me.

"Aw Carlisle said she was out of it!" Emmett boomed sadly from the doorway. He, Jasper, and Edward appeared to have returned from a hunting trip. "I was going to mess with her!"

"How would you have gotten past me?"

"Oh I would have recruited you Al." Emmett laughed at what could have been and rummaged in a bag for a set of thermoses. He brought them to Rosalie who was laying on the couch. "Here you go babe. I got a bear." He said it so proudly. Alice made a face and a disgusted noise.

"Sorry we all can't drain a hybrid and heal right up!" Rosalie scoffed at her sister. She was definitely in a bitter mood from the body part mending process. I felt bad.

"I could give you some!" Eager to help, I grabbed a glass and a knife.

 _"No!"_ About five Cullens all yelled at me at once.

"Ok." I mumbled and slowly recoiled back into my chair. Alice giggled at my pathetic attempt.

"It's nothing against you Bella." Carlisle explained. "We just have no idea about the long-term. It's also probably not a great idea to ask you to slit your wrists anytime one of us gets hurt." Esme nodded in agreement with her husband and set down several plates of food in front of me.

"At least I'd feel useful." I muttered into my food quietly. The only one that heard it was Alice, who kissed the top of my head and whispered back just as quietly.

"Don't _even_ go there."

Liam joined us in the kitchen when Esme insisted he eat something too, and it was turning out to be a rather normal day in the life of a family of vampires and wolves. Emmett kept cooing over Rosalie as she healed, and she certainly enjoyed it. The love fess was almost gag-able, but mostly entertaining depending on how you looked.

"Ugh! Would you two just get a room already?" Alice complained rather loudly.

"Does it hurt not to be the hottest couple in the house?" Emmett chuckled and withdrew from his close embrace with Rose. But she held him there.

"Sorry my man loves me and isn't afraid to show it." Rosalie cheeked back. Liam and I shared an expression. This would turn into a classic Alice-Rosalie bicker show.

"The strength of a relationship does not come down to public affection. Just because I love Bella doesn't mean I feel the need to jump her bones whenever I'm around her."

"Thanks babe." My remark made Liam snort into his cup of coffee.

"Yes but statistically speaking, couples that have more passion, i.e. PDA and public intimacy do tend to have brighter burns." Emmett spoke up. Liam and I continued our side commentary at the scene.

"Oh we're going into statistics now."

"Ten bucks says Rose ends up throwing something at your girl."

"Twenty. Alice will be the first thrower." Esme scoffed at all of us and started work on clean up.

"Yes but that is only relevant if you say that all acts of sex are because of love." Alice rebutted, causing confusion all around.

"Where are we going with this?" I asked Liam, who I swore could have been eating a bucket of popcorn.

"Shhhh. I wanna watch."

"There are acts of opportunity." She explained.

"Like murder? Is she going to kill me?" Liam smacked my head to shut me up at that point. Rosalie actually seemed to catch Alice's drift and nodded.

"Like if you're alone in the woods and opportunities like that rarely happen." She purred to Emmett.

"Ugh!" Liam covered his ears at the revealing comment.

"You still want to watch?"

"Yeah!" Alice got excited about the fact that she was winning. "Or like if Bella can't sleep – " The rest of her sentence turned into mush when I shoved a forkful of pancakes into her mouth. She appeared to have realized her mistake after spitting them out and immediately shut up. But unfortunately the damage was already done, which left half the house in a fit of giggles.

"So Bella on average, how many times a week can you uh 'not sleep'?" Emmett guffawed, emphasizing his air quotes.

"Dammit Alice." Not wanting to take what I'm sure would be hours of ridicule, I retreated upstairs to our room.

"Bella I'm sorry!" Alice cried after me and followed me into the room. "You suck!" She turned and threw one of her shoes at Emmett once she reached the foyer.

"Bella you win!" Liam cheered and the whole downstairs erupted in even more laughter.

"I'm so so sorry Bella." Once the door was closed, I could tell how badly she felt by the emotion on her face.

"Ugh I'm not mad. Well, I am mad, just – just – why do you have to blab all the time Al?" She returned a sheepish look at me. "I mean don't get me wrong I love your bubbly personality and the way you can talk for days about anything. But the one thing I've always said is – "

"Don't talk about us." She finished with an even more somber expression. "I know. It's just Rosalie got me all worked up about how they thought they were more in love than us and I couldn't stop."

"Do you really think she truly believes that? And if so, why do you care what she thinks?" Alice knew where I was going and sat down like a child being chided for misbehavior. I felt bad and knelt next to her. "The only thing that should matter to you is how you and I feel about each other, and how it feels when we're together." She smiled sadly and cupped my face in her hand.

"Why must you always be so logical?"

"Are you forgetting that I just bled myself out and filled you with god knows what in an act of impulse?"

"Maybe." She pulled me by the neck and started out a slow kiss, which turned into much more rather quickly.

"You're not going to bite and feed on me now that you're addicted to my blood right?" I teased but was slightly concerned by the lust in her eyes.

"That depends on how good you are." She purred and I gulped.

* * *

Hours later we lay tangled together on the bed, both utterly content.

"Now was that an act of opportunity, or love?" I asked Alice, who giggled at my jab.

"Hmmm." She ran a hand down my arm and looked up at me with not so innocent eyes. "Maybe a little bit of both."

"It wasn't sweet sweet loving?"

"Not with that comment no." Alice chuckled and pushed herself off the bed. She wandered into the closet for some fresh clothes. "But it was definitely an opportunity considering how few times I can get you while everyone is in the house."

"Yeah I still don't like that." I sat up in bed and made no movement for the closet. I was in no rush to get dressed and ready. "Are you going to commit a fashion crime with those red eyes my dear?" I called to her as she scoured the clothes in the massive closet.

"You are just _soooo_ funny." She stated sarcastically. After about a minute or so she decided on an outfit and pulled it on quickly so she could rejoin me on the bed. "But honestly I feel really good. I think you may have some type of drug in those veins. Is this how you feel all the time?"

"Describe it."

"I don't know." She sat on her knees across from me and thought. "Like I could go fight a bunch of people right now if I had the chance. I'm so freaking amped up. Like I could explode!"

"Yes." I smiled and replied.

"Really? How do you sit still?"

"Well first of all I'm not you." That earned me a hard poke. "But secondly, I shift, I run, and I have you."

"Awwww. You do love me."

"No no. You're just an opportunity."

"Ugh! When will I hear the last of that?"

"It'll be a while." Alice bounced off the bed again and began to throw various articles of clothing my way.

"Get dressed. I want to go fight something!"

"Am I the something?" There was a usable shirt thrown my way which I put on.

"You are always my something."

"Please hold while I go puke." A shoe hit my head. "Ow!"

"Come on! Put your dukes up!" Alice play circled me with her fists in a dramatic fighter stance.

"Not in the house. Esme would kill you."

"And you."

"No not me. She likes me." Another shoe came flying my way, this time I was able to dodge it.

"Well hurry up! I'm rearing to go here."

"Hang on! Just let me find my pants." I searched in the pile of clothing Alice had thrown at me and couldn't seem to find any.

"You are helpless!"

"That may be true. But – " A shriek and a booming sound from downstairs cut off my remark. Alice and I exchanged looks of panic.

" _BELLA RUN!_ " Both our fears came to be when the unmistakable voice of Liam screamed to us from downstairs. I looked to Alice, who had a face of horror on.

"Are you still ready to fight something?"


End file.
